₦airaland Forum

Topic: Speak to the mountain
Text: Mark 11:22-26

-When you come before the Lord, you must come with an expectation
-When you pray about something, forget and ignore the physical aspects of things
-Heb.11:3, we have been enabled to speak to the circumstances around us
1 Sam. 17:
-You have to watch what you say because you may also speak evil unto your mountain
-David brought down Goliath and spoke the word, believing it and he achieved
-He has given you the grace to speak to all mountains in your life
Matt.8:8
Speak to your mountain!!

We ought to speak positive words to the mountains in our life. The Word of God is the most effective ... for example, if God says you can do all things thru Him who strengthens you then, you tell yourself ; I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me ... or since the Word says .."Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, with prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." then you say to your self ... The Word says I should not worry, therefore I will not worry. You have to keep at it constantly until the worry goes away. You may think it is impossible but God will not tell you to do something if He knows it is not possible. Remember, with God nothing is impossible.

Cheers!

Hey all . . .


Question: If you were to give up the ghost today (God forbid) what would people (family, friends, colleagues etc) remember about you? What will you be known for? What legacy are you leaving behind for your children? grandchildren? mentees?


Pls for mature minds only . . .

Kobojunkie:
I don't think anyone should even suggest that it is alien to Nigerians, disclaimer or none. It happens EVERYWHERE -- that you are unaware, or choose to live in ignorance of this, will not change that fact.

1 million people on this planet commit suicide each year. I think this is something to cause you and everyone else to think carefully about how we treat those around us cause we never know if we are trigger to send them over the edge.

I agree with you

@ All: Let`s all look out for those around us and make sure such a thing doesn`t happen on our watch. I kno sometimes there is nothing we can do but even just being a shoulder to cry on will go a long way. Strive to show love to all around you!

Abeg make we no dey complain ooo. Let`s just continue to push and demand for more more more; jobs, electricity, better roads etc. Like some people have pointed out, many have found jobs through the creation of this mall. Let`s be grateful for what we have and continue to demand more.

@ Kobojunkie

I will like to draw your attention to my disclaimer which stated that I was not certain that such a statement is 100% certain. Im aware that alot of us think it doesn`t happen in Nigeria but one can never claim such as we are not aware of every single thing that happens in Nigeria.

Nigerians at home may never even think about suicide (although im not sure this is 100% accurate) but abroad it's very common. Considering the western lifestyle etc. it's almost inevitable for some. Im not saying it ok, cause its not regardless of the circumstance. I just want to let anyone reading this know that your situation is not the worst. People have gone thru what you are going thru and even worse, just cause u've never met them doesn't mean you are worse off. There is always a tomorrow. I pray your tomorrow will be greater and better than today. Strive to make your day better and if you have God ask him to help you. So that you may experience that unfathomable Joy that he gives. If you are indeed gone, them RIP Tosin

I change my mind I like e180, easier to explain than e360, i agree with yamakuza's top 2

so . . .

The e180 Network and The e-helpers Network



[size=4pt]Reminds me of 190 sha lol[/size]

e360, be the change you want to see!

That Nigeria and nigerians still have a long way to go!

i say make i come tell op say the thing wey him dey do no be correct thing, na so i come see say Nlers done derail thread . . . i no c connection btw finnish passport and child molestation oo

@all: So what are we doing to help these "dogs" out of the slums? Are we just gonna sit and complain? or wait, it's not or problem abi? 

Someone mentioned helping any other family that may live under the bridge just like the Obuhs, we could even go back to that same bridge and look around. However im sure we know not to roll by with money written all over us. Let's find a way to get to this people and hear their stories. Im sure there are other people waiting for the opportunity just to share their stories like the Obuhs. God bless the works of your hands. Many more successful projects to come in Jesus name!

P.s. Charity Name: 'NL Gives' or 'Nigerians Give', something like that sha , however with the 'NL' it would be hard to explain its meaning without mentioning NAIRAland ,

If you are looking for a charity organization to donate to, I know a group called SmileCare Initiative. They're a bunch of young adults that visit hospitals, motherless babies homes etc providing them with provisions, smiles and prayers etc. You can find them on FB or Twitter and I know the founder and some of their members. Let me know if you interested.

I just want to say that I love you guys and that this is phenomenal. We thank God, remember there are thousands of families just like the Obuhs in Nigeria. I think we should come up with another viable and legit project. We could do exactly what we've done here; take pics before and after etc.

However when the Obuhs are all settled down, let's not forget to keep in touch with them from time to time and see how they are progressing.

Can i get the acct info, thanks!!

We can all make a difference, one person, family, community at a time . . .

God bless you all . . . Go Nairalanders!!

When I was a child, my father used to joke with me saying, "Nancy, remember, it is just as easy to fall in love with a rich guy as a poor one." There is always some truth in a joke and looking back on this saying as an adult, it is obvious that he was steering me toward what he hoped was a happy life rather than a life of what he perceived would be a struggle. He is old fashioned and didn't think that a girl could create her own financial security (that is fodder for another blog) but his intentions were good. In my career as a financial adviser turned financial educator, I have worked with hundreds of couples and have seen firsthand how money problems, worries and other financial issues can lead to unhappy marriages. If left unchecked, financial problems can ultimately destroy a marriage.

Money and marriage is an age old problem. I've seen many societal and economic changes over my 25 year career: incredibly high interest rates in the 80's, a raging bull market in the 90's, the stock bubble bursting in 2000, the rise of 401(k) plans replacing defined benefit pension plans, as well as the most recent financial crisis. However, during good or bad economic times some things never change — couples are still fighting about money. In many cases, they are the very same things couples were fighting about 25 years ago. According to research as well as my own experience working with couples and money, here are the top five money conflicts that lead to marital strife and ultimately divorce.

Materialism — valuing "things" or money over the relationship. Research on marriage has shown that couples who are materialistic rate at the bottom of the happiness scale. A recent study by BYU and William Jefferson University found that spouses who were BOTH materialistic were worse off on nearly every relationship measure they looked at. It wasn't the lack of money that was the culprit; the authors found that it was materialism itself that created much of the difficulty even when couples had plenty of money.

I saw this firsthand with a former client of mine named Yolanda who unknowingly fell into the materialism trap and nearly destroyed her marriage because of it. She is a first generation American with immigrant parents from Guatemala. She had a misguided notion in her head that if she had a beautiful home nicely decorated with a formal dining room and a landscaped yard for her family to live in then she would be happy. It was almost as if she had a picture of the American Dream and she had to step into that picture and become that person to be happy.

She insisted her husband buy a home they could barely afford along with Ethan Allen furniture and a landscaped backyard — going into debt to do it. This may not seem like materialism because we are not talking diamonds and furs here. We are talking about a dining room table but none-the-less, her focus was on accumulating things instead of on her marriage and family. Fortunately for her, this story doesn't end tragically. When her mother passed away, something triggered in her that completely changed her outlook on her values. She got a much needed wake-up call about what was really important in life before it was too late.

Having conflicting money values. Now I don't know about you but if I was married to someone who gambled away money I'd have a really hard time with that. I see gambling as foolish (unless you are good enough to get into the World Series of Poker.) Foolishly spending money is the number one financial cause for divorce. According to Jeffrey Dew's paper titled Bank on it: Thrifty Couples are the Happiest, when a spouse feels the other spends their money foolishly, it increases the likelihood of divorce by 45%. What caught my attention in the report was the word "feeling." The researchers tell us that perceptions of how well one's spouse handles money play a role in shaping the quality and stability of family life in the U.S.

It isn't just about gambling either. A former client of mine, I'll call her Sandy, was married to someone who was incredibly frugal. Her husband used to check what she paid for groceries and compare them to the weekly ads to see if she got the best price. He actually would be angry and chastise Sandy because she paid too much for a block of cheese saying, "You could have gotten this cheaper at Safeway." He actually wanted her to go to two different stores to shop (even though she worked full time and they had two little boys.) Their marriage ended in divorce and not because she was a gambler by any means but because he perceived her spending as foolish.

The answer here is for couples to come together and decide on how to spend their money. Coming up with jointly held values obviously involves some give and take. If you like to buy lottery tickets, which your spouse sees as frivolous but you feel, "you can't win if you don't play," then jointly decide on a spending limit that you can agree on.

Adopting traditional roles when they don't fit. The commonly held belief that men should handle the financial planning and investments in the family and the women should take care of the day-to-day finances may not fit every couple. In fact, in my household, my husband manages the cash flow — he can be very detail oriented, which is painfully obvious when he is talking baseball with his buddies. It is amazing to me that he knows the batting average of players who retired 5 years ago! He is much better with our cash flow and I am more suited for our strategic financial planning. This is not simply because I have a financial background, but studies on the human brain have shown women to be hard wired to multi-task and those skills cross over to strategic planning. In our case, we switched roles and it works beautifully.

The key is to find the right person for the right role based on aptitude not gender.

Having opposing money styles. It is not uncommon to see financial opposites attract one another. Couples often have mismatched money styles — one is a spender while the other is a saver. Instead of having them work against each other, causing fights and tension, successful couples don't try to change each other. They adapt their money styles to work for both of them. In a previous blog, I mentioned how a newlywed couple set up a plan that made the most of their opposite tendencies. Paula loves her husband's sense of adventure and fun but on the flip-side he spends every dime he has doing it. He loves her stability and discipline since it balances his free and relaxed nature but he is always asking her for money and wanting to tap into her savings. There is tension and resentment on each side.

We came up with a plan that takes their natural money styles into account so they can work together toward common goals and they both contribute financially. The plan is — the spender spends and the saver saves. He is in charge of the short term emergency savings and unexpected expenses that come up. He doesn't feel concerned when he has to tap into the emergency fund and since he is saving monthly, it gets replenished regularly with automatic transfers from checking to savings. She is in charge of long term goals — retirement, saving for a down payment for a house and saving for annual vacations. She hates to part with their hard earned savings so she is best suited for the big goals that take more discipline in achieving.

The key here is instead of judging each other and essentially working against each other, row in the same direction.

Magical thinking — getting results without a plan. One of the most undervalued yet important reasons to work with a financial planner is to force couples to develop a plan together and, at minimum, review it annually. Some people have some of the individual pieces of their finances in order but having a plan puts the pieces together. Couples who don't have a plan don't have a chance of meeting their goals.

The do-it-yourselfer can do the same thing, of course, but it takes a little more discipline. Either way, developing a financial plan gets couples moving in the same direction toward goals they have developed together. Over the course of my 25 years as a financial planner, I've seen a significant difference with couples meeting their goals — being able to retire, touring Europe, investing in vacation properties, etc because they planned, reviewed their plans annually and worked as a team.

Couples who improve their attitudes about money and their communication can truly have it all. Since finances are the biggest cause of stress (a 2010 APA study found that 76% of Americans see money as a source of stress in their lives) and stress is a major cause of disease, improving financial literacy also has the added benefit of improving your health. Keeping your values in the right place and improving finances can actually bring health, wealth and happiness. What more can we ask for?

Source: Nancy Anderson- forbes.com
Saturday, November 19, 2011

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I hope he better pray about getting a better girl not the one we are talking about? you also talk about what is in her heart, are you for real? someone told you she does not have feelings for you again and you want to pray for possibly change of heart? does she pray before saying that? so you want to force someone to love you again abi?

hehhehehe, i don die, can you change the heart of men? diffinitely no. He can pray to get a better girl, but not this one,

Im not asking for him to try to change her heart. I agree with the poster's choice of action for the most part. I just think that she may have been frustrated and in the heat of the moment said things she didn't mean. then again she could have been saying the truth. I mean the poster was questioning the 4 yrs so im asking him to pray so at least he can get direction on what to do next and maybe better understand the purpose for that relationship. I know you can't change someone/ their feelings unless they themselves want to change . . .

^^^^ Word!


OP, I think you made the right decision. However, if you are a christian I would suggest that you pray; Phil.4:6-7. Wait on God and hear what HE has to say about the situation. With our limited knowledge, there is only so much that we can do. You can't see her heart, you can't tell what she is thinking or how she truly feels about you. God knows all things, remember that. You acted in your own interest which is completely normal and general what a lot of people would have done as well. All im saying is that you should pray. I pray that God will strength you mentally and emotionally. He will comfort you and reassure of your great tomorrow. Like people have said, surround yourself with positive people and things. God bless! . . .

Live, Laugh, Love!

S.

I agree that a week is not enough time to fully see the results of decisions that can be made. What about sending the military into dangerous zones in the North and temporarily replacing police state by state with the military with the intent of sending these police officers into military training. I honestly don't know if it is reasonable or feasible. . . but mehh . . . point is, we need change and very soon.

We have all come to a consensus that the OP was wrong . . . let's not call him names, it doesn't encourage him to come back and seek guidance on wateva other issues he faces. We are all naive to an extent and the acquisition of knowledge and experience is the only solution. Like someone said the OP came here because he probably had some doubts about his response. I agree that maybe it's not worth a showing on the frontpage but it is what it is.

@OP, I hope you have gained something from this thread . . . good luck and seek to apply the knowledge provided in this thread to other areas in your marriage.

God bless  

Considering the current state of the nation, what would you do? Be sure to cover issues such as Boko Haram, fuel subsidy etc . . .


What would you do about the policemen in the nation? Healthcare? the Economy?? etc

Remember you have 1(!!) week . . .



p.s. im aware that similar topics have been posted in the past . . . just bare with me =D

Happy Birthday MOD, Many more yrs to come and hopefully most of them will include NL =P, Have an awesome day!

You know you special when ur bday thread makes frontpage [/size][/size]

-DITIONER

The day u put your ex out of your mind is the day u will see the light at the end of the tunnel. You have to do that first and them focus completely on your wife. Forget about the child's feelings for now and think about your wife's. Like someone said, here she is , probably thinking about how to make her husband smile at her or even hug her randomly or just perform some type of kind gesture. But you are thinkin of leaving her behind and moving back to your ex. FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS on your marriage. Do something with her like take her out to that new restaurant in town or take her out to the beach at sunset =P . . . at least DO something WITH HER and don't just complain about what you don't like.


Make a list of the things you DO like about her and another one of the things you DON'T like about her. Now look at the list of things you don't like about her and think of the different ways you can change your perspective on each of these things or lovingly correct them. You should also evaluate the reasons behind your dislike for such things. Are you reasons rational?

Now take a look at each of the things on the list of things you like about her and find ways you can better appreciate her for these things.

Talk to her and hear her out! what makes u think u were her first love?

Don't give up!

Tip: if you are buying Creme Of Nature Products be sure to get the shampoo that comes with a green or red label. The newer product line comes in orange, you don't want to get that one cause it contains sulfate.

And ur question was, ??

kk,

here are the questions, feel free to answer anyone that applies to you. . .

Ladies: What’s the one aspect of a man’s personality that always seems
to confuse you, trips you up or annoys you the most?

Ladies: Have you asked your man to change for you? In what ways? And
did you acknowledge if he did it? And how?

Ladies: Why do you think men cheat? Is it just part of their make up?
Or does it depend on the relationship?

Ladies: Be honest: do you have a “type” when it comes to men? Has
sticking with that “type” been successful for you? And why?

Ladies: Do you use intimacy as a weapon in your relationship? Have you ever
withheld it as punishment? And why?

Ladies: You have been known as some of the best detectives out there.
If you've caught your man cheating or having an affair redhanded how
did you do it?

Married Ladies: After you tied the knot, did you feel like you “won”
and let your game slack off? Or did you take your love to another
level to keep your man happy? And how?

Fellas: What’s the number one thing you and your girl argue about?

Fellas: Outside of the physical, what qualities in a women make her
irresistible? Make you respect her the most?

Fellas: What made you start creepin? Is there anything your girl or
wifey could have done to prevent it? Keep it real,

Have you sent an email to the link yet?

Feel free to post any of the questions below and your answers as well!

Hey RomSection,

If you have time, go ahead and send an email to manology.insight@gmail.com. You will receive an auto-reply with some relationship questions.
Rev. Run and Tyrese are tryna write a book and they want your opinion on a few issues. It's for real, i sent an email and got the questions.

Don't worry, there are about 10 or so questions, not much. . .

Cheers!