₦airaland Forum

tosyne2much:
Let me come in here and correct a notion

What I want you to know is that every man has a standard/taste and it has nothing to do with "matured" or not.. Your cousin might find a man who married her despite having three kids, but I, as a person won't marry such a woman due to my standard and personal choice.. It has to do with personal choice not maturity.. However, the fact that a man can take the risk of getting married to a baby mama doesn't mean he's more matured than another man who can't do that


Back to the issue

We are in the part of the world where all protocols are observed when it comes to marriage.. Though, you can go against the protocol and stand your ground, but what happens afterwards? Hatred and enmity would be hurled at the lady by these family members

The best you can do is to settle it amicably with your family members and give them reasons for your decisions.. No be by gra gra jawe.. No be by "wetin be una business with who I wan marry"

My friend, you have a good point but the truth remains that he (op), loves the girl so much from what I can deduce from his write up and in turn the girl loves him too, so why will he allow his parents to decide or determine who he shares his life with. The issue of marriage is first about your happiness and secondly, you can consider your family. If I tell you my story of how my husband's siblings including his mother, ganged up to beat me up during my courtship period, you would think I would never smell their community again let alone getting married to him today. The young girl is innocent, in the sense that she have not offended them in any way except for having a child, if they are without sin, let them be the first to cast a stone at her. Family people always widen their nose when it comes to their son getting married, always looking for faults to castigate the lady even when there is no need for it. My husbands family were against me for no just cause but when they saw that their son really loves me, and me self come dey show my husband better love make dem for vex tire, today the story has changed. I didn't hold all that their evil plots against me then to heart after we got married, rather I proved them wrong by respecting them all, embraced the kitchen like cooking and assisting anyone of them in the kitchen. Your wife should just be good. Be sure that she possesses good character because that is the basis of marriage not beauty and most importantly, prayers!. Prayer works wonders during my time of trials with my in-laws. God turned their hatred towards me to love. Today, the whole village knows that my mother in law loves me. Today, my sister in laws call to tell me their challenges and seek for my advice or opinion even when they are far far older than I am, this is what prayers can do and above all, pray that the will of God be done.

Kenshinmunac:
So na your family they control you abi? You cannot make decision on your own regardless of other people's opinions be it family or other wise? You are not mature enough and you say you want to marry?

I feel like blessing you today. It's obvious omo de shi nii Op yii sha, him never sabi wetin marriage bi. Habaa! My cousin with three children just got married to another man last year, na man like you marry her, with just a child you dey fear your family, it shows you are not strong enough to fight for her, so just leave the girl for correct strong guy wey fit defend her to marry her abeg.

kunlesufyan:
Put your self in your parent's shoes, would you allow your child who has had a child before??Think very hard before answering the question.

Your question is incomprehensible, please come clear.

See as I just dey laugh like mumu for here. Haaaaaa! This op no go kill me oooo. Eeeeheh!!! Even if na dog you treat that way, e go turn back bite you wey be him owner, how much more your fellow human being. Before we talk, you say you be Yoruba man!!!! , Ekwensu oga diri gii na nma ooooo. Kai!!! Men! Men! Make una dey fear God small ooooo. @ Op you are damn too too arrogant. Who in Gods name do you think you are to treat your fellow humans with so much disrespect. You treat your wife in such a manner and expect her to jump back to your princely hands, abeg go and reexamine yourself please.

God bless you my beautiful mother. E dey pain me say i know get am for money to treat you the way you deserve and make you the envy of the world but my prayers will always be with you my dearest "Iya Samu" as you are fondly called. IYA mi IYA rere, olurun a ma mu ojo ro fun yin, atun ma bukun ise owo yin oooo. A e san konii ya odo yin ooo, e oni kuku ojiji loruko Jesu amin. IYA mii IYA rere. Love you mumcy.
Oga diri nnem mu nmma naha jisos Amen. Nnem mu OMA, i gaighi awuchu owu, aya ndi iro agaighi ahu gii. I ga ka ka, ka to akatoo naha jisos. God bless my mother, God bless me too and strengthen me. Being a mother is beautiful. Happy mothers day to all beautiful mothers in the house.

I can not come and be answering query all the time, abegi, open your own make I open my own, if we need to contribute on anything, I will bring mine while you bring yours, then peace will reign. Money can destroy the undestroyable. May God help our marriages to outgrow the trials and temptations that money brings Amen.

The one beating your her mother in law should be forgiven, probably the mother in law pushed her to the wall even thou it isn't right to lay a finger on an elderly person, let alone ones mother- in- law, but all the same, her own sin can be forgiven in the tenet of marriage.

papaput2:
Nigeria men and slavery in the name of marriage look at what you got yourself into

At first you married a student , greedy self center girl lady or woman because I don't really know her age

I wonder how much you pay your folks who fought so hard to make sure you became who you are today ? I guess nothing

Instead of paying that 17% to her open up acount for your kid with it

I know the truth is always bitter this your so call marriage is base on mutual benefit not love

You will thank me later when she graduate, how many of your siblings are you actually sponsorin in school non I guess

Lol

Abegi close your mouth with that your advice, home breakers, I don't blame you, I blame the husband that brought his family out here for public discussion.

alawi5k:
It's money in the bank. I envy your 120k. You will be paid soon. Quote me anywhere but make sure your physical verification was successful.

My brother I pray oooo make e be as you talk but on the other hand, it seems the NOA in Delta state are yet to submit our verification list because, a lady I chatted with via the npvn portal said my profile is showing "false" meaning I am yet to be physically verified but the truth remains that I have been verified in Asaba, Delta state capital. So my friend, if you have the contact of our Delta state Npower focal person, please, don't hesitate to help me with it oooo, make i ask her y she wan witchurt us. I was told that my name falls under the fourth batch and most of my friends in this batch with me are yet to be paid too since December. We really need Gods assistance for Npower matter in Delta state.

alawi5k:
I received text that my record didn't tally. I sent mail to them for regularization. I got two alerts last week.

Excellent!, but what happens to those of us whose records are absolutely correct, at least I can speak for my self, went to the bank several times just to confirm my Bvn and bank details tallies with what I summitted to Npower, found out no error, yet no reply from Npower after several mails to them and yet I have not been paid a dime. Ohh! Lest I forget, age wise I am below 35. It is well shaaa!!!!

alawi5k:
I concur. But Npower volunteers should also share the blame. Imagine someone using his brother bvn to register and he is expecting alert. Some their bank name is different from their NPVN name. The married women are the worst. Example, Bank name: Bola kate Tunde, NPVN name: Bola Fashola. Most of them failed NIBSS validation...

Ok, let Npower inform the volunteers their errors if truly they really wants to empower them. How would I know the problem when it hasn't been made known to me? Example, if you tell a volunteer that due to the error in your this and that you have been disqualified, that will be much better and a huge relieve to the person instead of keeping mute, thereby stressing the volunteers who will be busy trying so hard to figure out what the problem could be. Their silence isn't helping matter at all.

Bsc:
Your focal person could do alot to help you guys... For example in Abia state.. The focal person for N npower @Hon Chinenye have worked relentlessly to ensure all beneficiaries of Abia get their stipend...
He took all data of unpaid beneficiaries to the relevant authorities in Abuja... Not very long 85percent got double alert and the verification logo appeared..
Note: physical verification is very important

Unfortunately Delta state focal person have refuse to show her face. Most of us have been verified physically in Delta state but we haven't receive a dime. On chatting with Npower lady on a lucky day, she said I have not been verified, that my profile is showing false, and I have been to Asaba on several occasion only to be showned "YES", meaning i have been verified, so what do I call all that. The focal person in Delta State isn't helping the volunteers at all.

Op is absolutely correct. The worst is that they won't even tell you your errors yet they will continue to make bouguos claims that they are empowering youth. Why making things difficult for graduates because of 30000 naira job that is not even permanent yet they still billions without working for it. They should tell people their errors and allow them correct it. Habaaaa! A temporary job they are stressing someone this much, if it is permanent then,all hell will be let loose. Let them stop giving us false hope. They should come out and tell us the reality.

skypeme:
30,100 / 175,000 x 100% = 17.2%
I add 2.5% increment to my wifes salary every Dec

But paying her salary no make sense to me at all oooo. You guys are partners in this business and should jointly plan the financial stability of the family. Why paying her salary when you guys are one, your money is her money and so also is her money your money. Well, whatever works for you guys and make your marriage a happy one, is welcome.

skypeme:
But the money she added is just too much 22,700 - 11,500 = 11,200 naira

Oga no worry, na so we dey add. Forget about the money aspect, just talk talk and talk real words into her and everything will be fine. I dey Like this kain of quarrel sha for marriage because the reconciliation no be here. Sometimes sef, the reconciliation go come produce one beautiful baby like that. My hubby always say, a quarrel between lovers is a renewal of their love. Na wetin I dey see for this una quarrel be this.

skypeme:
Dear reasonable people on Nairaland, please I need your advise

My wife whom I love so much and also loves me too is entitled to 17.2% of my monthly income, my salary is 175kpm and she take 17.2% of this amount, yet she feels very uncomfortable with it

I pay the bills, buy food stuff every month and take care of our little baby girl

My baby girl does not take any local food, she takes only fresogold, tea and pap, the cost of fresogold is very high and she can consume 4tins in a month

My wife isn't not working yet she is still schooling and I pay all her fees,

I've never complaint of my duty as the head of the family yet she still feels unsatisfied with the 17.2% I give to her

Her primary duty in the house is to take care of our baby and prepare my dinner every week days and both break fast and dinner during the weekend

Recently I told her to take our baby to the hospital for treatment, our total bill was 11,500 naira but my wife suprisinly told me that the hospital bill is 22,700 naira which I immediately wired to her account

So I called the hospital to make inquiries about the exorbitant bill then I got to know that my wife inflated the hospital bill to 22,700 naira

I confronted her and she spoke to me very rudly I was not happy about this, I kept quite and didn't say anything about it again

I am thinking I should penalize her for her rude behaviour and the dishonesty she has melted on me

Will it be advisable not to pay her her monthly salary for two months ?

Will this correct her brain to default and what would possibly be the implication of doing this ?

She has not apologised and she has not seen anything wrong so far in what she has done

Oga! Oga! Abeg leave that aspect of inflation, na recession cause am, and me self I dey guilty of that inflation thing especially when am broke and hubby wouldn't understand that we have siblings, parents to assists too, it isn't all the time we will run to oga for money to assist our relatives, even though, I am not saying it is right or neither am I encouraging women to do same but I tell you, most women ate guilty of this sin andcwe can only but ask God for his forgiveness and mercy; so, unbehalf of inflation wives, I say forgive madam but, being rude is a no no no for me. Marriage is really a compound project. Oga just let her know how you feel about her attitude and every other things will fall into place. Just tease her and love go start again.

Help you do wetin? When you were doing it who helped you? You better leave that pikin born am.

eyiye:
Hello House,

Yesterday, my husband told me that during his NYSC days, he had a girlfriend in the state he was serving while we were dating. This was really surprising to me because he told me about all his escapades before we marry but he has never mentioned this NYSC girlfriend to me.

I was serving in Abia state and he was serving in Ekiti state and he never gave me peace of mind, he wanted to know all I was doing in Abia state and never let me get too close to any guy meanwhile he had a girlfriend in Ekiti state and the girl was even visiting him in his house in Lagos.

After telling me this, I was really surprised because during that period I really trusted him. Now am scared that now that we are married, he might have a girlfriend somewhere and when I look at him all I see is distrust.

Please how do I handle this?

My friend, then you weren't married to him. Then he can decides to quit the relationship with you. Then he was single with no legal or religious commitment. Then he was a free man with no strong commitment and responsibility like a family or children. Then he was a boy and now he is a man. That was his past and I don't know why he is bringing it up now. As for me, I am only interested in the present and not the past, except the past will have a direct effect on my present, then I could be interested in it but if your past will only make me bitter and restless, abeg keep am for where e dey since.
That was his past my friend and everybody have got a past. Don't let that bother you, only hold onto the present with prayers to God and faith. Hand over your marriage to God and do endeavour to watch this lovely movie titled "THE WAR ROOM". Relax my friend and tell him that, that was his past and he shouldn't allow his past be repeated in his present life.

Dyt:
I have heard so much about this movie
I will definitely take time out to watch it

And thanks for the briefing
Ststyreal

You are welcome my sister. Please do endeavour to watch it and I bet you, your life will never remain the same. May the Peace of the lord be upon your home amen.

Wonderful movie I must confess for any married woman that desires a happy home. This movie taught me a lot and till date, I respect babe with the utmost respect that Gods desires in a marriage. I quit nagging and and picking of offense with hubby, in fact, this movie create a new me till date. I learnt to surrender all to God and love hubby like never before. I run to God in prayers whenever i am facing any challenges at home instead of getting angry. I have learnt a lot from this movie spiritually and uptill today i forward it to any of my friends facing challenges in her home. I shed tears after watching this movie, especially when the lady got spiritually upset with the devil in her life and family by saying, enough is a enough. She removed all that was in her closet and set up her own war room. Immediately I knelt down, repented of all my sins and also ejected the spirit of nagging, anger towards hubby, a lot I gave red card to in my home. I am a happy and relax person now because the movie has broadened my mind to my duties as a Christian wife towards my husband and my home. The movie taught me that it isn't my responsibility to change my husband but that of God. Your duty has a wife is to pray for your husband and your home, love and respect him and never argue or try to win an argument with your husband.
After watching this movie, my fellow wives, i no dey bother they reason whether hubby they cheat or not because it is not my duty to monitor or try to change him but that of God, mine is to enter the war room and God does the miracle.
Do watch the WAR ROOM and the peace of the lord will rest upon you as a wife. For any gbangan in grammar cited, make una forgive me abeg, I still dey learn English language. God bless our mothers, wives and wife to be and also keep our homes far away from the devils and home breakers amen!

"I know some women hate men who do house chores, I am one of them. A survey reveals that most men who do house chores are lazy men, they would rather do house chores than go out there and fend for their families!"
@op I support this your assertion no be small. You are absolutely correct!

No mind dem, I go tell her happy birthday jareeee!! But where the recharge card money? The economy isn't smiling. God bless her new age!

AutosBay:
N-power Lagos
[: Good news
Our stipends is been process as we speak so get ready to receive alert today and tomorrow.
Source Focal person through Mr. Afolabi from Abuja
.
: Nhealth and nagro list is ready, it will be pasted on Thursday, likely Friday, you will be call to check your posting place of primary assignment.
Source Focal person.
They should be receiving alerts now...already replied your email ma. Blessings! Got this message from Abuja now.
She just sent it now
Pls stay close to you r phone

Please Autosbay, I beg you in the name of God almighty, to help me with Delta state focal persons contact. If you can assist me with it, walahiii, I go pray for you throughout this month. Please help ooooo. I await your response biko Autosbay.

okosodo:
you no know say nigeria dey change pesin destiny

Guy you funny oooo but na true you talk sha

Abeg make them release my own too oooo, since December, I never see anything. O God, bend every hand holding my stipends to release it right now in Jesus name a.m.e.e.e.e.en, abeg make una follow me say amen ooooo. I don do clearance oooo and my state secretariat say I have been cleared, so Npower, oya release my stipend right now insha Allah!

obiorathesubtle:
The truth is... Majority of women are either lesbians or bisexuals..


They lie about it a lot, and it's very rare to see a woman who's only interested in males..

Are you sure you are ok? Huh! The world is really coming to an end.

Chukwudozzie:
You just have to give it to the north, the level of controversy from that region is quite appalling.

U nailed it, yet we think say dem no sooji. Northerners, you guys should take it easy biko, una too like kerewa.

Don't mind those people telling you to have faith and that there is nothing God cannot do, yes I agree that there is nothing God cannot do but will u see a fuming fire and decides to jump into it with the notion that there is nothing God cannot do? Just follow this second guy and ask God to perfect your Union because when the crisis will start, even your child will hate you for putting him/her through the pain. Now that you know your genotype, my friend, run from your first guy and focus on this your new guy, na my truthful advice I give you so.

Jammiiee:
Wow! Amazing . So u support her?

Yes, to teach him a lesson. No woman wants to be second best in terms of marriage. That guy is olojukokoro

Bishop4bella:
Wicked first wife.

Don't even think of calling her wicked abeg!

johnson232:
A good woman should be able to maintain peace in her home...

Sorry to ask @ Johnson232, Are u married? Before you answer me, I can deduce from your statement that you aren't married but if peradventure your answer becomes yes, I would then say that you are a man and not a women, hence, your easy statement that " a good woman should be able to maintain peace in her home". Wetin happen! Una wan kill women? It now seems as if it's only a woman's responsibility to make marriage work. Huh! I feel for married women honestly, because they carry such a huge responsibility in the name of marriage. May God fight for all mistreated married women amen!

jaszplus12:
52. Your wife will misunderstand, misconstrue, misconceive, mistrust , misdirect and mislead you ...don't take her words to be correctly weighed.

Huh! Jealous men spotted!