₦airaland Forum

easyflex:
This can be particularly painful.

I experienced it recently, after shelling (dashing) out $3k to assist in buying a ride for bolt / Uber.
Just a 1 line whatsapp msg saying, thank you I got the alert.
No feedback about the car until about 4 months later when he needed money again.

Believe you me I have many many more examples but I don't want my blood pressure to go up today lol

eazzzy1:
Are you a Nigerian? do you have friends and family in diaspora or home who are doing well for themselves but will ignore your request to send money all the time? before you call them stingy or wicked, here are some of the reasons why rich friends do not give out money;

1. They don't have enough: Enough is subjective, someone can earn as much as $100,000/annum but feel he's not earning enough, some people have these dreams of being wealthy and that salary isn't sufficient to get them there. So you have a friend/relative who works in a big firm abroad, you think he's rich, he thinks he isn't earning enough. Even millionaires have needs too.

2. You are not the only one making financial demands: You think you are his best friend because you went to secondary school together and were seat mate or bunk mates in the hostel so automatically he should be predisposed to meeting your needs, well there are primary school best friends, university best friends, first love, NYSC best friends, Neighbours, uncles, aunties, brothers etc who think their request should be met too. It is impossible to meet all these needs.

3. Making financial demand is never a one time thing: I had this habit of giving money to people who ask for financial favors the first time. I thought since they never asked for such before, they must really be in need. I soon found out that after that first time they run to me whenever they need money again, sometimes they space out the request like two months, some every month etc. I then realize that the $100, $200 i send them is never going to be sufficient, they will always come back for more. So i joined the God will provide gang.

4. Yahoo boys : Not every fraudster hacks into companies accounts, or forge the accountants signature, or even find lonely older women/men to scam. Some yahoo boys have resorted to begging, they send you message of how their dad is dying in the hospital, how their sister got arrested for a crime she didn't commit and they need a lawyer bla bla, they call these lies format and once you send them money they pop champagne and call you client.

5. General realization : One day i was going through my bank statement and i noticed i gave out about $500 monthly to family and friends. The same me who will walk into H & M, see a shirt of $40 and think it's too costly. I either buy it grudgingly or wait till it's on sale to buy. I realized i wasn't taking care of myself enough. Most people will come to this realization at a point in their lives.

This thread isn't limited to just people abroad, it include people who work and earn who are home based too. How do you cope with demands?Diasporans what made you rethink your generousity?

Feel free to add yours.

Yes I gave my cousin $2500 to buy a car with would you believe after he received the money and bought the car he never even said thanks cousin this is the car I bought! I never heard from him again until the next time they're in need. And it's not a pay me back when you get it loan this is money you will never get back again

So Asamoah Gyan also lost his money? Wow.... I remember the rumours going round about him after Castros death

Add to the list Charlton Cole and Emmanuel Eboue

Humanoid01:
I have no idea what this is, but the part where you said he doesn't know the difference between 17 and 71 got me thinking about dyslexia or dyscalculia. From your narrative, the greater part of his problem points towards arithmetics, so it's more likely to be dyscalculia. It's also possible to have more than one learning disability, so chances are he's suffering from both.

People with learning disabilities are not necessarily dull (or unintelligent), it's just that the parts of their brains that are responsible for the performance of generally easy tasks which are difficult to them, are in a state of disorder. I'm a slow learner, but I don't consider myself dull, and that's because I believe every individual needs specific conditions to enable them learn effectively.

That boy may be even more intelligent than all of you. He needs to visit a psychologist or learning specialist who understands what it means to have an LD. Stop wasting money on lesson teachers.

I got the following from a website and it fits with some of the descriptions you made:
Dyscalculia

A specific learning disability that affects a person’s ability to
understand numbers and learn math facts. Individuals with
this type of LD may also have poor comprehension of math
symbols, may struggle with memorizing and organizing
numbers, have difficulty telling time, or have trouble with
counting. https://ldaamerica.org/types-of-learning-disabilities/

Well said!

Can you imagine getting stuck in that clostephobic lift during a power outtage

2mercy:
https://punchng.com/fg-to-pay-jobless-youths-n20000-monthly-to-sweep-markets-clear-gutters/

Better!

Forced17:
To be honest na run I go run If I be the man
This one pass my power

Run and leave for whom exactly? If you have defective sperm you have to be responsible for the consequences!

Divine89:
I have forgiven him already but I prefer praying at home because the humiliation I receive from people in church was too much , they judge me as if they have never sin in the whole life. Praying in my house as helped me a lot because I watched many Christian pastors and movies on YouTube my pray life has increased so much. I am the church not the building , I am living my life with the fear of God , I don’t hurt people anymore , I avoid people that will make me go back to my old lifestyle, I don’t smoke , drink , I don’t have boyfriends like before. I am grateful that God has given me a second chance and I will never go against him. I have faith that one day my children will be back with me which is possible for my 2 youngest but for my other 4 they are adopted it’s up to them to decide if they want me in their life , I prayed to God to give them a soft heart to forgive me and accept me as their mother especially my first daughter whom I hurts and injure when she was only 2 months old I prayed she will forgive me for everything I did to her

I have so much to say but will refrain.

The only useful advise I can give is make sure you update your details with the adoption agency and also make sure you keep a Facebook account so you are easily traceable. Finally do the dna test that traces family and keeps you on a database so as your children will be able to find you and hopefully each other. Did any of them get adopted together or all separately? Do any of them have Nigerian fathers?

slyfox35:
Best friends or closest friends as some people term it is quite normal in the life of 80% of world population, I had one too.

We grew up as teens together, matured as adults together, he came to our house always and ate all his meals with us. My mom was really nice to him when she was alive. He wore my clothes and never returned them. I did not ask because my parents always provided for me although they were average citizens.

Then the worst thing in my life happened. I lost both my parents within the space of four years.
Things turned downhill for me (orphans do suffer a lot.. Too much suffering for you to believe there is even God in heaven who takes care of the fatherless and motherless).

My friend travelled to an African country. He kept telling me to come over there to work that things are better there. I kept declining but after a year of constant pressure, I decided to man up, packed my bags and travelled to meet him.

Guess what? I did not stay up to 5 days with him!!!

His attitude changed by the second day, he yells at me at every given opportunity, from his best friend, I turned to his boy, the heat he was given me was so bad that when he leaves the house and he comes back, I get scared just by hearing his footsteps. I virtually turned to a nonentity to him. I had no money on me because the little I had left, he collected it when I arrived. I knew no one, I felt so miserable and alone and I started regretting why I left Nigeria.

On the fifth day ,I woke up early in the morning and shook him up. I don’t know what got into me (but I am glad it did), I told him I can’t stay with him anymore and I want to leave. He did not even feel bad about this, he did not think of the fact that I know nothing and nowhere in this country. He let me go.

I packed my bag amid tears and went into the street. Mind you, I had no one to call back in Nigeria... It was tough on me but as a naija guy and as God will have it, I did not spend even a night on the streets. I was shocked that a total stranger took me in, clothed and fed me. He taught me everything he knows. I worked for 6 months and was able to make 2 million Naira. This was like a dream to me (If you get money ehn, to praise God Dey sweet o)

I came back to Nigeria, rented an apartment, furnished it and continued working from here.

This so called best friend of mine saw my posts and pictures on Facebook and video called me to check on me (I guess his eyes did not believe what he was seeing) he asked me if I am in a hotel, I said no, I am in my apartment. He was shocked (me I nor keep any grudge against you) he told me he was coming to Nigeria and that I should please forgive him and forget everything that happened. I told him I can forgive but can’t forget.

What surprised me most are this exact words he said “my guy, if I come, na your house I go relax first abeg”

Now my fellow Nairalanders, I am asking, how should I go about this?

I have forgiven him but should I allow him into my home?

A reason a season or a lifetime. Figure out which one then do what you need to do. I personally would cut him off. I hope when you got back safely to Nigeria you thanked the person who took you in when you had nowhere to go!

Considering all Chinese look the same he did well to spot the difference! Unless the other one was sired by a Nigerian/ African in which case the difference would have been glaring

So you mean to say you couldn't catch a fish? Disgusting and disgraceful

Omojudy:
You see why you were being teased now?

Chale I'm not a Nigerian I'm only here for the banter so take time with me plz

Omojudy:
Twins. Triplets was mentioned by way of trying to paint a picture in an analogy. I hope you understand?

Ooops thank you my bad

liveyourlife007:
U kno English true true. Ode

Ode? I think rather kwasia boolou

Bbbwings:
How did you pass jamb?

What is jamb?

Anyway I know English comprehension may not be your strongest point. Twins is 2 (two) babies triplets (means three) the op states twins then triplets which is it. Do you understand now slow coach?

Twins or triplets?

Omojudy:
I think it's time I dropped my childbearing story.

Thirteen years ago, aged 22, I married right out of university without the wisdom to realise the importance of finding my feet first. My husband was 11 years older than me. He wasn't rich but I thought we loved each other. Youth service year I conceived but lost it right out of service.

Hubby was helped to get a good job, stable government job by my family. When I lost my first pregnancy, we were staying a few months with his parents due to our financial situation, my father in law said to me after that loss while my husband travelled "did your ladies in the water say to you that the day you give birth you would die?"

With the new job right after the loss, we moved back home and continued our lives. Three more miscarriages came along with many drama ranging from deliverances to traditional midwives to in law's commanding the home.

Finally one day almost 5 years later, hubby travels and his father calls my aunty to tell her that "they don't want to marry their daughter again". I was at work when aunty broke the news to me. I travelled that night to the inlaws with my aunty and grand mother to beg, we were not given audience. They didn't even open their gate despite we could see my husband's car in the compound.

At 9pm my companions begged me to go home with them, I refused and chose to spend the night in a shed close by. The was no electricity in the neighbourhood, everywhere was dark. At midnight Power was restored, and from the shed I was hiding, I saw my father in law walking round the compound spraying incense, (he attended celestial church) I call out to him "daddy, daddy" obviously he hears me but does like I am a ghost.

At that point, I knew I was wasting my time, I started trekking. I trekked to the motor park which was very far, vigilantes stopped me numerous time and my tearful face made them not question me too much......a lot of drama in between, I traveled back and resume dwork while praying and fasting for his return. Mehn I lost weight without even trying. I met many scam pastors which are another story.........

One day, I suddenly realized I may have the password to hubby's Facebook, I tried it and it worked. What I saw pained me but it gave me strength knowing the break up wasn't because of anything he was accusing me of (like saying a pastor revealed to him that I was sent into his life by Kingdom of darkness to destroy him. To this I asked if Kingdom of darkness gave jobs, he said he has repaid me ie Kingdom of darkness back in connecting me to the job I had then which didn't last. Oh he wanted me to be paying my salary to him by the way).

So I got some courage to begin living again at this point and apply for a divorce. To this he also said "that good wives wait for their husbands no matter how long they go, but me I ran to apply because I want to remarry."

We got to court and he was accompanied by his father and them claiming that hubby didn't abscond but I did. Guess they were afraid I wanted to request compensation. Walking out of court, his father waves at me and I wonder why.
He was barely divorced then remarried and yes has kids now. Things went sour with my place of work and I relocated to a bigger city and that was my fresh start.

Met my husband two years after the divorce, I hid nothing from him especially my challenges with infertility. We got married same year. And got pregnant and miscarried. Second pregnancy for now hubby, I was put on cerclage, yet the pregnancy still ended and I almost ended with it as my body was going into shock due to its inability to dispel the dead foetus since a cerclage held the products in.

I had an history of pregnancy losses at 14 weeks. After 8 miscarriages and no living child, I visited more hospitals, met insensitive money alone conscious doctors, finally a correct diagnosis was made.

I had no demons worrying me, my womb was just too small to carry to term, it wasn't expanding with the pregnancies. An hysteroscopy was the procedure used to diagnose this.

Getting a diagnosis at last was some sort of relief, but what can we do doctor I asked? Doctor said "have you considered adoption?" I was shattered.

I went home and discussed it with my husband. We agreed to adopt and we applied two years ago. We only just got feed back few weeks ago from them self.

Then one day I was on social media and I saw someone advertise needing a surrogate and like a light bulb the idea stuck, I wrote to the woman and we started chatting. One day her Status said she needed someone to donate blood for a relative of hers and I say where to an online stranger I had never met. That was the first day I met my good friend Mrs R. I also put up an advert for a surrogate as I couldn't afford to the price agencies were charging. After two bad experiences, I finally got one good person that we could afford. And God just sent money mysteriously.

Then when God wants to turn your story around, you know it's just your time. I paid for one cycle at the hospital we used, already looking for money in case the first cycle did not work, guess what?

IT WORKED! MY TWIN DAUGHTERS[/color][/b] ARE 3 MONTHS OLD NOW.

This is not your everyday testimony, I no get time to dey give testimony like some people wey go go church dey say "after waiting for 20 years, God blessed us with triplets[color=#990000][b], tell the journey when telling your testimony sisters, don't let the holy sister at the back waiting for a similar miracle be thinking God doesn't answer her prayers. Be real, stop pretending.

Edited:
Please someone take me to front page for the first time in my life na. ����

Twins or triplets?

davillian:
I understand women don't like each other
The only thing they do is compete and envy each other....
She had a child in 400lvl meaning she got pregnant and decided to keep it though her friend felt its not the right time for her to be a single mother....
This life, never laugh at anyone present conditions or predicaments
Who knows table might turn sooner or later.

I have a friend who was unable to have a child 10yrs after marriage I know what she went through the abuse, the insults, the stigma etc
It got so bad she can't play with other peoples children because they call her mami water because she is so beautiful with clean skin.
I can't count how many times she cried on phone, how many times she felt like running away how many times she felt like killing her self....
Its not like she was one loose girl she married her husband as a virgin...
God did it for her last year she named her son after me...

Reason I don't look down on anyone is that no one knows 2moro.

Maybe the problem is not from her but the husband, maybe your friends husband has a low spe rm count

tunmiluabi:
My story is quite long, please run through with patience.

I married my wife about 11 years ago. By the way I am 46 years old. Before I married my wife, I was not doing well neither was my wife. She was working with a multinational company, earning an equivalent of N40,000. I had a small graphic design business after trying many times to find a good job. I looked for jobs and contracts without any respite. But At this this time, my wife's support was good and I did appreciate every bit of it. At lest we survived on the low...

As time went on, I got a job in one international corporate training company as a Statistics and Business Analysis Instructor, was earning about 90,000 naira. During the times before I got my job, we had accumulated debt and my new job provided us an opportunity to pay them up.

We decided we were going to save part of her salary every month for servicing the debt and save the rest for a rainy day. I was supposed to pay the rent and all other domestic bills, light, kids school fees etc.. Some time she helped with food/groceries. After sometime, she advised we move to a bigger apartment. We still had a daughter by then. I obliged and we did.

To cut the story short, after four years of working, the company folded up because of government policies and we were all laid off. This meant we had to prepare for the hard life ahead. It was hectic and devastating. Me being me, I took it with all sense of grace and hope things will be fine. But the more I thought about this the worse things got. One day out of curiosity I asked my wife if it would be nice to have another child and she advised it was not the best time. I understood and agreed. I then advised my wife if we could start a business and with some savings we had, maybe I could use it to enhance my former business, maybe things might be better this time. She did not show any interest. This time I discovered changes in my wife.

One day she asked me if she could use part of them money to do a course, honestly I was shocked but asked why she did not oblige to my own request. She said "its my money I can use it for whatever I want". My wife however did the course.

To cut the story short, 3 years down the line, my wife stopped having sex with me and this continued for a long time. I became like "shit in her eyes". I lost a bit of confidence though. she would wake me with insults and barrage of dirty words. Because of our child, I agreed to stay a home and try to work online and seek clients and jobs from old client. It was not bad but not promising.

Fortunately for us, my wife got a promotion and her salary was increased to about 170,000. This actually brought out the worst in my wife. Her calmness disappeared and all decorum was buried. We would quarrel everyday and not talk for weeks. She became really mean and controlled everything at home. Please note, she is not a bad woman but can't explain the reasons up till date. I was with no option but to query her sincerity as a wife and that continued for a long time. Our sex life became zero, she would tell me having sex would make her pregnant and was not ready for a second child. Her stories kept on changing and became even worse, rather than coming home she would pass by her mom and be there till late in the night before coming home.

After about 3 years of trying to get something to do, I finally got a place on the island sometime in February 2018, where I would be paid a stipend of 50,000. In addition, I would use my free time to design, print and sell business cards to small companies. The overall income was small but enough for some immediate obligations at home. But to be fair, that was the best I could get since I have not had money in a long time. Unfortunately my wages were not consistent due to challenges the company was facing. But I used the Business card printing to augment wherever possible.

Later in 2018 around September, I discovered that my wife had been having an illicit engagement. She had a male fried and I finally got to know about it and confronted her. She did not deny it, she begged and I forgave her. Anyway, I had made up my mind to forgive because of the kid and I never told anyone till date. Moreover, since we were not making love that was of course enough reason for the drastic measure, I told myself. To be sincere I had lost feeling for my wife and sex was difficult. We finally started having sex but I had little to offer her. I would pretend and even have to watch Indecency to be able to have sex with her. I was dead inside. At least my wife was still with me. That was my solace. I guess trust was broken. She however continued with her escapades. The quarrels increased and got worse. There and then name calling became our breakfast and dinner. She advised that since I would never look at her the same and bringing little or nothing to the table that I was free to go. The quarrels went on for quite some time, my wife will go very violent on me some of the times. I am marshal artist with black belt and I have great restraint - for me, fighting and going violent on her was never on the table. One day I thought there was a need to move out and I did indicated to her that I was not comfortable living with her anymore.. That wherever I am, I will see how I can take care of the kids.

She did not care and things became difficult for me. I felt maybe I could stay for sometime, It might be a difficult condition but still not impossible. This became my Achilles heels. There and then I knew my relationship had broken and irreparable. I accepted there was nothing I could, but to be patient and tried to convince myself about our situations and believed our situation was bad, but God’s willing we would overcome. The fight even got worse and became very violent and physical, I would normally just take the beating or hold her hands to avoid any injuries.

The quarrels was beginning to be in the glare of my Kids and since it was not abating, there was little I could do to change the situation. I finally made up my mind on the 19th of May 2019 to move out, but actually moved out on the 30th of May, 2019. Before then on the 26th of May, 2019, I discovered my wife was again engaging in the illicit affair. She would claim she was going to church only to be found at a different location. Honestly I can’t blame her, I blame myself and the situation that caused the demise of our once cherished marriage. At this point in time I realised I had lost and had no fight in me anymore. My kids are still very young. Everyday quarrels, lack of sincere engagement, denials upon denials and her fear of facing her “DEMON” with little chance of her understanding the consequence of her actions - I was left with no choice but to stop FIGHTING. I had no fight left in me. The ultimate decision was to leave. I did not inform her parent about the issue because I had indicated to her I did not want them to look at her differently.

God so good, I got a 500,000 Naira job through a friend in an oil company with a 3bedroon in Lekki fully paid up for 3years by the company. By the way, I am Data Analyst but never practiced for a long time. I studied Computer engineering but for a long time grace did not smile on me. I take care of my kid and I really don't hate her and I am at peace with everything. She still has her job and doing well.

Please note that she did not tell me to leave, I left on my own volition. I could not share the same bed with my wife anymore she apparently could not muster enough strength to stop all iniquities for a conversation that will help see things through. Rather she is turning to blame it on me. We have however resolved to part on a friendly note for the sake of our child.

My reason for posting this is because most us sit behind the desk and computers and do not understood the demons everyone is battling. On a bad day, the best husbands are MONSTER, while the best wives are DEVILS. When we make judgment as males or female. We should not forget about our female child/children, same goes for the male child. I don't know what my wife tells people about what happened but I really don't care and I have made up my mind never to defend myself.

Thanks for reading.

Tunmi

Quite confusing do you have one child or more than one child, did she have a child with her lover whilst you where with her?

Whilst she claims she never told you to go her actions where all you needed to know she didn't want you.

She literally emasculated you. Thank goodness you're en route to retrieving your balls. Don't fall back into the trap she will finish you off

This one his relatives should just Bury him straight away and say he died of covid. The truth is too much can you imagine all the nosey people who want to know how he died. A person who knows will drop the corners of the mouth and point with their heads before saying ah weh he went to ashawo and........

Benevento:
(1) Virginity

(2) Unconditional love

Bonus : Beauty.


1 and 2 is a must, ain't gonna marry a hoe, give me your virginity and I will love you more than my mom.

Love her more than your mum? Be careful oooo! Any housewife can turn into a hoe

What a blessed boy. Blessed through his God given talent

Investnow2017:
Does he even need to wait, he can even start trekking down to China right away . Just because one has a phone you can just type anything. So annoying.

If you find out now, s/he might just be someone still struggling to pass his jamb. The next thing you will hear now is 'audio'. Just waiting for any WAEC candidate that will misuse that word

They think by doubting everything proves one is intelligent, if anything it is a heightened sign of stupidity!
.

Some people are just too know!

Olarewaju89:
Fake news

When this whole pandemic subsides kindly go and report back the real news if this is fake.

This man is probably playing dress up and practicing hair and make up with the girls, I'm sure nothing else is going on. Now if you said 20 men then.......

Starberg:
Mine was when my girlfriend invited me to her parent's house. She persuaded his brothers to excuse us and took me to her parent's room to have her on their matrimonial bed.

I even asked her to take me to her room, but she insisted I do it right on her parent's bed that her room is untidy. I was tempted to try it, but I had a second thought, and left to the sitting room.

*her* brothers. You're welcome!

Stevecreativex:
Yo!! It simple just do the calculation yourself, bro...The scholarship doesn't deny your job in Greece. I work PT then in a grocery store and at night I work as a security a day man I make £145 / £150...

So do the calculation yourself.. Thou if you a lazy ass black Africa you might think the stress is too much to work on scholarship...

I know black peeps who earn £260 / £300 daily here in Greece...

So ease your mind...
It about how strong you can hustle under cold..
Peace...

300 daily doing what? Unless they are a footballer, selling drugs or selling themselves what type of job?

Oh my goodness I can't imagine doing that to a dog much less a newborn baby. The woman should have gone into hiding with her daughters if he was that terrible. Hopefully he will get what is coming to him may it be painful

wman:
Kindly tell us the diseases that Bill Gates and co have introduced to Africa.

You said 'a lot of diseases'

Kindly mention one disease. Just one that did not exist before anywhere in the world and was introduced to Africa by Bill Gates.

Don't tell me you're one of those people that believe the AIDS originated from Africa. Please don't tell me that. You know what never mind. What do I know I'm just a poor person. Please do me a favour when he comes with his vaccines be the first in line to go and receive am OK good luck bruv!

sbaks:
You are equally intelligent. BTW I'm going around shopping for intelligent people on this thread and I only found 2? *continues intense search for the next intelligent post*

Thank you and good luck in your search it will be an extraordinary feat!

vezycash:
You left China that produced the virus.

You left the stupid American doctor that told people not to wear masks.

You left your government that caused it spread in Nigeria by refusing to close border because Abakyari was abroad.

And you are insulting the person that is spending billions of dollars of his own money to find a cure?

My brother are you smoking marijuana?

I am fully aware China produced the virus! But I'm talking about the gates for now.
You appear to be be one of the people that only uses his head to carry load. Please endeavour to utilise your brain. Go and do proper research about bill Gates and their real intentions for black Africans. Look into the Gates and their practice of eugenics. Please don't let the fact that they are donating a few million here and there fool you! They have ulterior motives and are getting a lot more back from Africa than they are giving. Africa is a huge guinea pig to them for them to do their research. Yes they (Americans /white man/Gates) do some good so as to mislead you but they have also introduced a lot of diseases to Africa and then try and get vaccines to combat them. I'll leave you with another Ghanaian saying ' he who ties the knot knows where to loosen it from' Shine yah eye fam!

Shocking how many people are being fooled by these satanic people in disguise. He wants to reduce the population and he wants to start with Africa! He also wants to experiment after lab rats and monkeys they will experiment on blacks before they use on whites. Wake up people don't be fooled old Ghanaian saying you can't catch a fish without bait so he will come to you as though he cares and implement his agenda