₦airaland Forum

@ osarieme abi ki l'oruko e,
Why are you so bothered about me? Why do you care so much about my relationship with this guy? How does it affect your sleeping and waking up? How will it affect your concerntration at work. Or in school? So why force me to take your advice? Pls can you list at least one thing you will gain from it considering the fact that I don't know you from Adam? Just one!
If you can produce one good reason, you can keep staying and say what you like. If not then pls I beg you in the name of God to go! GO!
Ahn ahn! See me see serious wahala o!

2sexy: UNA SEE AM? hahahaha...

Olodo rabata oju eja l'o mo je!
Nothing else penetrates your head. If your are not jealous or bitter why don't you just GO! GO!
You ve given your advice abi? Then go! Why force it down my throat? Why? What will you have to gain? You know me before?
People come see me see wahala o!

AlterEgo™:
Nobody is advising her, all the pud-whackers just want a piece of her. Unfortunately, she cares too much and that's fueling the appetite of the angry wolves!
Posse of zombies!

Now this is a REAL man!
Don't worry, I have gotten some VERY useful tips here so it wasn't wasted.
Thanks!

2sexy: sister, koyo. you are but what shs has gained here can hardly be compared to what she would have gotten offline.

The only problem is how she has been describing the guy, which no one forced her to, and also another problem that tells you how she reasons.

I got two powerful tips from the last thread I opened and I think they helped me come this far with him.
I have gotten more tips on this thread to add to what I got off line. So it's not in vain.
And I think YOUR problem with the way I describe the guy is jealousy. You are so angry that he's all what you have been praying to be! It's pretty obvious.
Did I tell you his name or the kind of business he does? Did I tell you where he lives? Do I tell you whether he gives me things or what he gave me? Did I tell you what we talk about? We quarrel as well. Did I ever come here to tell you about the quarrels and disagreements? So pls check yourself abeg

lola.luv:
@Sweetlemon
Smh that you think it depicts fakeness when a poster chooses to remain anonymous by using other user names. So I guess those that donate anonymously to charities are fake too and not trying to remain private.
Toh, wish u all the best.

That's a different case madam and I know that you that we all know that!
Thanks for making me laugh earlier sha

jay bee: People really need to start giving advises and leaving at that instead of trying to shove it at others throat. It's a free world and as long as each and everyone of us are comfortable with the decision we make then that's what matters.
Being comfortable discussing her love life on NL with other members doesn't define who she is or what she is about. Yes she may be a lil naive but who isn't?
At the end of the day she gotta make her own mistakes and learn from them.
It's her life and y'all should stop trying to bully her to see from your own point of view.


Posts from here onward viewed/termed as an attack on the OP's person will be hidden and the user is going to be liable for a ban.
Give your advice and just leave it at that

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah I admit I'm a bit naïve at times. But that's just one of my flaws and one of the things that make up who I am. I'm not afriad of letting people see both my strengths and weaknesses.

Don't you guys realize that the more time you spend wandering around and throwing tantrums around my threads, the more traffic you cause for the thread? So why don't you guys just go? Go away. Avoid me since I'm an attention seeker. Or did I pm you guys and beg you to come and cause traffic for me? Pls just go away and leave me alone!
I'm begging you guys in the name of God. Pls go!
I have also realized that many people here just don't like it when you are doing well and happy.
For example, a man comes here to lament on how he lost his job and how his landlord has given him quit notice. You will see people encouraging him, and petting him. But let the same man come back later to say that he got a managerial job at Chevron. You will see the same people accusing him of showing off and "giving too much info"
Yes! That's NL for you!
Smh

lola.luv:
But anyone could recognise you anywhere, Sweetlemon.
The way that things have degenerated here doesn't portray you in good light and like they've told you here, his family and friends could be reading this.
I have an alter ego that I use in pasting sensitive topics. So I can remain truly anonymous. You are not anonymous!!

I was just talking to a friend who told me that he broke up with his girl because of how he saw her screaming at people at a wedding while distributing sovenirs.

People really want to help you and want the best for you and this guy (hence all the advice) but you are digging a deeper hole for yourself.

Are you for real? Did you say these venomous people like me
Thank God the guy is mature. So if ever by accident he gets to see this, he will know that people started attacking me here before I responded.
He will also be able to see through the venomous and deliberate attempts to make me look bad here.

Na real wa for NLers.

It seems like there is some kind of supremacy battle here. Some people want to be the most popular or make Seun notice them or be the most liked so they feel threatened whenever they see people with potentials of being popular. That's why you see them sound bitter whenever someone else's post makes front page and their's do not (as if there is some kind of price for making front page! Lol!)
Then you see them pick on such people at the slightest opportunity.
Well, will it make you guys feel better if I said I don't give a damn about getting Seun's attention? I don't care about being popular here (NL politics). I come here to learn from inspiring posters or people who have one or two personal experience to share, add my voice to national issues and also laugh at funny posts.
I don't care who notices me in the process. So you guys should chill ok?
As for hiding behind fake usernames to post things about myself, let's just say I'm a real person. We are all humans, we are not immune to the dramas of life. So why should I be surprised if an NLer comes and shares one or two stories with us? This is me. I like people knowing who I am. I just don't know how to pretend.
I don't give details. Did I tell you the guy's name or family name? Apart from saying that he's loving and caring do I say EXACTLY what he does for me? Did I tell you he gives me things and did I mention what he gives me? When I mentioned that we were chatting last night did I say what we were chatting about Did I mention what he told me about his family?
So please, if you go through my posts I don't give details, I only say normal things. Only things that will help you in giving the appropriate advice.

Osareime: I might not be mature enough to give advice on a post as unnecessary as this but you should read what I wrote first instead of being so defensive.

You lost the privilege of anonymity when you showed us your pictures! Don't you understand that? Now we know you anywhere we see you we would recognize you.

How do you know the family members you are tryn to impress have not already seen this thread? These details are not many when you are anonymous. But you are not and these details are toooooo many.

You are not faceless anymore don't you understand that?

Don't you understand that I can be anybody? I might be someone you see everyday.

I mite be his sister or his cousin it his friend.
You seem like the type to tell your biz to
the world and it's not a good trait.

We all make the mistake. Instead of you to take correction you are hastily typing replies.

When he finally gets the D feel free to give us details. If you guys dont get married. We all here now know the whole story of your dumping after he got the D.

Get this! We know your face! Ahn ahn.
You are not anonymous anymore. The anonymity here should be a two way thing. You are not anonymous. The advice you are getting are from ppl who know you.

*rolls eyes
I wasn't talking about myself but the people who will advise me. And even though you ve seen my pictures you don't know me in person and probably never will.
That's what I mean by anonymous.

Hadeyemy: Hope ur parents knows abt this?

My mum knows of course. Will not tell my dad much until he wants to come and buy the bed.

Osareime: I have one question. How would this guy feel if he knows his business is on nairaland like this? Except he knows already.

Too much of your relationship is on here. Made the mistake once and when I told him he wasn't too pleased. If he is a private person I doubt he would appreciate you taking advice from the public on your relationship.

This thread us unnecessary. Your mum or sisters it close friends could have given u advice. This is unnecessary and seems attention seeking wi you going on and on about his status and family and conversations wi you.

Learn to keep ure life private.

We know what you look like and you still come here to give us so many details about ure relationship with this guy.


Seems very attention seeking to me. Hope it's not the case.

I don't go into details (why should I) Just what I feel I should say. I have told my mum and sisters. But there is something about seeking advice from anonymous people (the mature ones of course) that's why I brought it here.

rhemaplus: You don't put the cart before the horse. Everything in life has order that must be followed. The question I need to ask is that, who are u to him? Is he your boyfriend, fiance, or simply an admirer. If u were asked that salient question in his house, what will be your response? To me, you are acting too fast. A whole one week with someone you are not even sure of his intention except that he is so much into you? A whole one week for someone that has not promised you marriage? Where is your pride, sis? If I were you, I won't even sleep a day in his house, just go the same day and go back. If he wants you to stay that long in his house, let him do the proper thing, which is proposing to you! I simply feel he wants his family to assess you before he makes his choice and that to me is demeaning. He may have shown you that he really means well, loves you, wants you but he is simply taking you for granted albeit unknowingly. A little strength to say no and not act too desperate as you are acting now is all you need. There is a saying that what you hold tenaciously to, you eventually lose, what you let go, you have may be best appropriate in this situation. Don't stay that long in his house, it is too cheap and demeaning maybe not to him but to an average 'onlooker' and 'these onlooker' may be the ones to determine your fate.

Thank you very much but no "onlooker" is determining my fate.
I reject it in Jesus name. Amen!

jay bee: How about you just being yourself? He met you, liked what he saw in you and obviously encouraged hence the taking it up a notch move. Most guys just don't take gf's that they have no intention of marrying to their family so IMO that's encouraging if you had be interested in marrying the guy sha even though he probably haven't mentioned anything along that line.

I'm a bit worried that meeting the parents is a weekend affair except the parents live outta town and the journey just can't be done in a day or so.

Also slightly worried that the dude is insisting on a buying a bed or whatever when it's not like he is still a virgin. Are you sure he can get it up? You know there are far too many stories of being conned into marriage only to realise the man is of no use in these highly coveted bed of his.

Lol! Don't worry. It get's up almost everytime we are together. Only thing is he hasn't made use of it on me.

ferhyntorlah: Babe, I enjoy reading your bed guy story and I look forward to hearing more but please be mindful of the kind of things you post here so that it would be misunderstood.

You own no one an explanation as to how you live your life; just don't give way TMPI(*P-Personal) and please leave your personal moments with momsy out of it.

Enjoy your weekend with the family and just be yourself.

People deliberately misunderstand posts so they can have the liberty to insult.
I see nothing wrong in repeating the advice my mum gives me here cos I think other women could use some!
Don't worry about me.

Idowuogbo: Yeah rite! But u felt d need to rub in "he has enough house staff" countless times ba? Smh! Very intelligent lady! Infact u world class. Msteww!

Let me answer you for the LAST time ever. I mentioned the house staff because some people were talking about doing chores and I was like will it be necessary cos they have enough house staff? Will it make me look like I'm trying too hard?
If I am going to ask for appropriate advice, then I should let people have enough knowledge of what's on ground so as to give the best advice. This is a faceless forum so why should anybody care if it is Dangote's family or beggers on the street?
I just pray you and your co. Finally get to understand me.
P.S: if I irritate you that much why do you guys bother spending the whole day and night on my threads? Why don't you just avoid me? Afterall, it's obvious I'm not going to take your "advice" isn't it? Very strange......

ferhyntorlah: Sweetlemon, must you reply comments you feel aren't favourable to you?

I was enjoying your initial posts till you changed gear. As far as I'm concerned, some of the things you've posted weren't necessary; too much of unnecessary information.

Pick the ones who like and ignore the rest. Even if you were insulted, must you reply with insults? Just ignore and move on to the next.

One thing I've learnt from Nairaland is not to take things seriously no matter the venom released; I simply ignore/ reply nicely. I don't have the time and patience to be exchanging nasty comments and insults.

IMO, you're sounding childish, immature, petty and too naïve hence the "unnice" comments you're getting.

When a thread is still in its home section, it's usually interesting but once it gets to frontpage, it gets derailed with nasty and unnecessary comments.(My Personal Observation)

The insults started coming before I started sounding "naïve, petty and childish"
Check well. But something tell me you are already aware of that.
I'm not replying all of them. Just the ones I feel I should reply. But you are right. I won't reply anymore so I don't look naïve and childish anymore.

lola.luv:
Please peeps should free Sweetlemon. So that she will be encouraged to post more about bed guy.

I for one will be interested to hear the gist of what happens during the weekend visit to bedsville.
And also how Papa and Mama Bed received her with rambunctious alacrity.
With water bed and the lastborn of the family (bunk bed) getting all excited to meet the latest addition to the Bed family!

Lol! I wish!
Pray for moi!

Flytefalls: You elevate this man far beyond the stars that light the heavens. I fear your own fall. Take care of your expectations, but still love deeply as you do.

My dear, I'm just trying to let these people see that it's not his money I love but HIM.
Like I have mentioned severally, I'm very aware that I may not eventually marry him. But one thing I know is that I will cherish the experience I had with him. If I slept with him, it would hurt me, but as long as we don't have s.ex, I will always respect him for respecting my body.

ponyonm: Babe,I aint got probs with you o. If I got isht with you,I wont comment on ur thread. If you see me here,just know I'm about d fun. Take a chill pill lil sis.

Fun?
Wait until people turn you into an object or means of catching their "fun" so you will understand that people have feelings even on a faceless forum. But don't worry. Una madness no dey enter my body again.
I'm not ur lil sis. I saw your pix @ Mr NL pageant and I'm very sure I'm older than you.
Cheers

2sexy: [size=20pt] Thank God my ban is over[/size]... PYGURU, NA SANGO GO CASTRATE YOU SILLY BOT


Okay to the issue on ground.

Bro, it is obvious that you didnt read her previous thread and that is why you are wasting your energy.

The same thing you just said is what we have told her times with out number. But she ended up calling people names and that they are jealous of her because they cant have what she has. Can you imagine that. Spot on at the bolded


Every thing you need to know is here ===>https://www.nairaland.com/1136623/mature-minds-here-please

Excuse me, but I didn't call anybody names until THEY started the name calling. If you want to avice someone, why don't you do it without name calling
And the last time I checked, I still have a right to decide the kind of advice to take or throw into the trash can.
Thank you

ponyonm: Can you just imagine? U sure say this girl nor dey primary school like this so?

I kukuma thank Jehavah God say I dey stupid. Afterall na my empty skull this my guy dey admire about me so tey him dey love and care for me and he wan carry me go meet him mama and papa and maybe grandma sef for one full weekend.
Wallahi! Stupidity good o!

Guitarlife: do you have any idea how many women feel like this towards me ? 5 or 6 ladies feel m the answer 2 their qtn's. This guy is playing a clasic move on you.
You wil end up toasting him, he'l prolly lay you a few times and move on .
what is disturbing is that you will allow a man demean u as to parade u in front of his folks b4 he decides if u are gud enuf or not.

Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!

Chinwem: OP,I wish you well ok.I can sense the excitement in you. Just curious, are your peeps ok with you spending the weekend?

Other matters-

https://www.nairaland.com/452301/lets-put-end-cyber-bullying

Yes of course! My mum knows about him and she's happy. She tells me that in her time. If a man who is ready to settle down wants to marry you, he does not really bother with dating you. What he does is just to get to know you well. If he's happy with what he's seen. He pays your bride price immediately.
She adviced me to just relax and enjoy it. If it ends in marriage glory be to God, if it doesn't, I would have had a good experience.
God knows best.

Guitarlife: your stupidity is just too outstanding but i'l go a lil easy on you. I'l say you are simply naive.
A respectable lady is worth a lil something. Her fiance of many years would have to cajole, beg or even plead severally before she finally concedes.
I miss the 70's and 80's. Men are just getting married these days cos they just got to keep the family tree.

Shoo! And who gave you visions of how things transpire between us? How do you know that I jumped at the idea immediately? And if I did nko? The important thing is that he's the one making the moves here. Would have been fast asleep in bed now but he no gree leave me to sleep (we are chatting on BB now) I often sleep off while chatting with him only to wake up and see him chatting with himself. Lol!
For your info, I talk about him here cos I'm sure he doesn't come here. He's just too busy for that.
And you didn't answer my question about taking just any girl to visit your family for a full weekend.

lalaosky: greetings my love doctor... If i was the bed guy's mom, and she starts washing my clothes, i'll suspect her seeming "over niceness" as being desperate for my son to buy the BED.lwkmd

I'm not even thinking of doing it. Esp not with them having enough house staff so don't worry.

Guitarlife: So the bible was right when it said a time will come when 7 women will battle themselves just so they can marry 1 guy.
a guy who has not even wooed you asked you to come spend the weekend and you are over the moon.
You even sound like you are planning to rape him sef. Are we men expected to choose a wife from this generation of low self esteem women?
No wonder we have more men turning gay. 0p you are a disgrace to the pride & honour of womanhood & with this shameful behaviour just how much are u expecting 2 command in dowry?

Are you for real?
Where did you see me say I forced him to invite me to his parent's house?
You are a guy right? Will you take just any girl to spend a full weekend with your immediate family?
Mtcheeeeeew!

He's definitely not perfect.
He's always busy. Very busy.
That's something I know I will have to live with if ever I end up in his house. But I'm ok with it because I'm compensated with the knowledge that he will make up for lost time together. And he always does it in such a way that I forget the lost time!
My mum also told me that the quality of time you spend with someone matters much more than the amount of time you spend with him/her.

andyanders: Make sure you are real, clean the house, do the washing and make sure that you be cheerful to the parents and siblings. Ask for his mums cloths to washed. Never be too quick to talk and watch what you say. Be quick to hear ,not nosy, but slow to talk. Too, make sure you do way with your bad habits and be yourself. Avoid skimpy dresses that reveals your front view. Good luck.

Did you just say I should wash his mum's clothes??
Kai! I'm not desperate o! Thank you

mxxpunkxx!:
@sweetlemon
hmmmm, i reserve my comments . . but i must say:
i've noticed your threads, u're a big time "ajepako" in the list of 190-the-clown's description
u no go let us hear word again? i just wonder what would happen if Seun asked you out
see as you dey shake like person wey catch flu . .
is this your first time, or is the guy so cute, that ur sense of reasoning
is starting to go under . . ?
by the time, the bobo enter your zanga, 1-2-3-4-5 times,
all this shakara go end oh . . .dis one u don parade yourself finish for here . .
i just dey wonder if sexkillz go accept you back . .

Did somebody just mention Seun here?
LMAO!
Kai! You guys are something else wallahi!
Yes o! I be aje pako. And I don't pretend to be otherwise. But I'm proud of how far I ve come thus far. I'm an independent woman who can pay her own bills and have extra to buy my own BB, brazillian weaves, etc.
I LOVE THIS GUY THIS MUCH BECAUSE HE RESPECTS MY BODY. BECAUSE HE HAS SHOWN TO BE A MAN OF SELF CONTROL.
I v met many loaded guys. But he treats me like a queen. Like his FRIEND. That's what stands him out from other guys. He's a focused, goal-driven person, highly intelligent and skillful. Always there to give me useful advice, listen to me or just hug me reassuringly. And his charisma? His swagger? That will need me to open another thread for that!
You guys should try get that piece of info into your heads and stop acting so bitter.
*rolls eyes

pendo89: If a guy said that to me,I would take a back seat and evaluate the relationship.It doesn't sound right.Sex with the person you truly love ought to be a big deal.
If he goes ahead to equate our lovemaking with the previous ones he's had then I would view that as a raw deal.Means our sex is not special.
My view of sex is beyond physical.If there is no emotional connection, then I simply classify it as a fusion of sexual organs which wild animals do as well.
Whether he does it with you or not is not the issue. After the double decker,water bed or whatever bed has been bought,and you guys proceed to do it,will the desire vanish? since it's not a big deal?

You have a point there.
But don't forget that guys view things completely differently from the way we view ours esp in the area of sex.
My dear, I v stopped "investigating" him. My mum told me that as long as a man loves you and shows it by making you happy, just relax and enjoy it cos when you start "investigating" you will start imagining things that are not there and that will be the beginning of the end of your relationship.

Idowuogbo: Lmfao! For real? I guess ur brain only lets u register my online persona. As for sounding bitter, I weep for u! ur medullar obviously needs replacement. U opened a thread to seek for opinions, I chose to drive in d hard truth into dat blank box u call brain, and u chose to label me bitter? U have a long way to go Cinderella!

Smh.
I used to think that you were just one crazy girl that just likes looking for trouble (playfully) but I have taken a deeper look and now I can only hope that you are NOTHING like your on-line personality in real life. If so I will understand why you are always on NL 24/7 cos I don't see how people in your real life will want to associate with you.
*adds Idowuogbo to list people to avoid like a plague on NL as from today