₦airaland Forum

Stop pressuring her. If someone has said no, leave them. Move on with your life. It's not by force. If it's tough to see her with someone else, withdraw from her a bit. Your relationship will never be the same again anyway.

Stop focusing on someone who isn't interested in you. You can't force her. Respect yourself and start looking elsewhere for someone who will return your feelings.

As far as what j-girl said I think it's true that it's rare for either the girl or the guy not to want more. But if the friendship is very good they need to hold themselves back.

As far as sistawoman's original story, at best, the guy is just being very overprotective of you at worst, he wants you romantically. Either way its not healthy to have that kind of person in your life because it may eventually come btwn you and your man.

In general, I think it's really interesting when married people have close friends of the opposite sex as in when a wife has a close guy friend that isn't necessarily close with her husband or vice-versa, like if i were married i would be really pissed if my husband had female friends from before that he hung out with, gisting etc or chatting on the phone, and i'm not even a particularly jealous person, and if like sistawoman's friend they were talking smack about me, it would be on (gele around the waist stylee)!!!

I don't know why guys must always be like that will all this risk-taking,

you'll see a girl that is not interested then get rejected and come and start complaining. Do you think girls ENJOY rejecting guys, no. It's just that sometimes from nowhere we weren't even looking at you like that and then you just start asking out, enh enh,

it's not like that, you wait for a sign or you lay some foundation to find out how she feels about you. You don't just go for it. That's such bad advice. Guys always make that mistake!!!

Especially since you are already really good friends don't spoil it unless you're sure she might be interested because ur friendship is never the same from then. I'm speaking from personal experience. Be strategic about it man don't just lay your cards on the table.

as a 21st century liberated chick I feel in my heart like I should say "yes, why not" but mehn my common sense is like NO!

Don't get with him!

Stay away from him!

He's not a good guy. Look what he's doing to you and his wife. It's not as if you guys met after he married. And even then,

I think you can always kind of tell when a girl is feeling you. Like she'll give you signs/looks/hints and you'll know. The thing is you have to be really smooth about the whole thing. Like don't just out yourself like that because it can make things awkward and ruin your friendship. Guys do that all the time and girls lose good friends that way. The fact that you guys are tight doesn't mean she likes you like that. I think you should start going out w/her without actually asking her out and that way she can get a sense of what its like to date you and may get into it too. So like super casually ask her out in the sense of: "oh we should go watch a movie on friday" or "we should go to lunch/dinner on monday". So make sure its just the two of you but don't make it awkward like "do you want to go out with me." Be very casual about it. Failing this, ask her for advice about another girl, because if you're a good guy and she likes you already as a friend, there's potential, but it might just be that she takes you for granted and doesn't see you "like that", but if you show interest in someone else then its possible she may begin to see you in a more romantic light as she gives you advice and things may go from there. Point being, if none of these approaches work, start looking elsewhere and don't spoil your friendship and regret it later when you find someone that actually likes you ("like that".

You need to keep strong and realize that he's married and thus, the relationship is going NOWHERE. You deserve better. Have enough respect for yourself to know that you deserve more than being the other woman. Move on. Stop talking to him and/or seeing because a clean break is the only way you can let him go if you're already so infatuated. So parting thoughts: HE IS MARRIED! Don't be the other woman. Respect yourself enough to know that you deserve more than being the one on the side. Besides he's a bit of a cheat if he felt the same way, then he shouldn't have gotten married without you even knowing about it. Obviously he was stringing both you and his wife on and if he can do it to her, he can do it to you too. Stay strong sha and let him go. Something better will come.

A Walk to Remember (I haven't been able to have anything to do with anything Nicholas Sparks since),

my mom and i got nabbed at silverbird with chocolat royal loot, but the guy was very nice though, he said if we put it in our handbags, he "wouldn't see it." So we did, and i almost gave him a brownie, almost, but i didn't though, it was a good brownie,

Enigma:
Try Nollywood Forums

Thanks. I'm checking it out now.

@Sisikill
You are hilarious!!! Thanks again. I was totally rotflmao at all your comments.

@Lasiefaire
Thank you for doing it. Much appreciated.

@chiogo
Thank you and your sister too. I need the project to finish my masters and i need the survey to do the project so i suppose in a weird way my master's hangs on nollywood, <scary thought>.

No but really thanks everyone who's done it sooooo far!!!!

Sisikill:
May I suggest something. . . how about starting a thread with some of these topics and get a feel of where people stand? I'm not saying you should abandon the survey all together but you can uses the discussion to supplement it.

Sisikill thanks so much for doing my survey and for your suggestion. It's a really good idea. Also JeSoul thanks for doing it, without incentive, I really appreciate.

it's a bit of bad bele in the sense that it's human nature to be competitive and when you see one "small boy" or "small girl" getting ahead of you of course you want to bring them down a bit now, it's mean but it's true.

JeSoul:
honestly I'm sure more people would help you out if they knew your ID and had conversed with you all around Nairaland.

I'm sure you're a regular NLer so what's your real ID? I think that would put people at ease.

Thank you for at least responding. I'm a regular NLer in the sense that I'm always here lurking and when I'm in school and homesick, I visit often and read what people have to say. However, this really is my first Nairaland account. I've been meaning to do one but never got round to it. And I'm sorry it took needing fellow Nigerian's help to actually get me to sign up. But please still don't hold it against me. Help me out by doing my survey and I promise to reciprocate/talk to whomever wants to get to know me now, ok?

Seun:
The survey is too complicated and you're not offering us any incentives to fill it out. Moreso some of your questions are best answered by bying a sample of 100 random Nollywood movies, watching them, and making notes.

I had a simpler survey before with 5 yes or no questions and then I was going to watch a large sample of Nollywood movies, but my advisor (damn her) vetoed that and said that my formative research (survey) should be more in depth so I should have a meatier survey. I'm sorry you're finding it a little complicated. I am still going to watch about 50 Nollywood movies in addition, but since my project is about what people think in addition to my own findings, it has to be this way. As far as incentives go, I don't have a big budget but I'm open to providing an incentive. What would you suggest? And how would I go about giving the winner his/her prize? If you have suggestions, I'm definitely open to them.

Ok i hate to be one of those annoying people who posts on their own message to bring it up in the message listings and I won't do it again, I promise. Only PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME WITH MY PROJECT AND DO MY NOLLYWOOD SURVEY. The link is:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=B4j283KbsrG538JmafoejQ_3d_3d

Ok I know I only posted yesterday but the response is a little underwhelming. So maybe I posted at an awkward time or something. Please I know you're all kind and decent and wonderful people so find it in your heart not to let your Nigerian sister fail out of her master's program, Please DO MY SURVEY!!! Thank you all.

Hello people,

I'm a Public Health student and I'm doing my thesis project on Nollywood and it's impact on health and society. I have a survey that I'd really LOVE you guys to help me with. It won't take too long to complete. The link to the survey is:
http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=B4j283KbsrG538JmafoejQ_3d_3d

Please please please, help me out and you'll get, um, ok I'm a struggling student so you'll to manage with my eternal gratitude and prayers!!!

Also, for those who consider themselves to be Nollywood buffs, I'm also looking for key informants who I'd like to ask more in depth questions. This is going to be a major paper for me because it's for my Master's thesis and I promise I'll put your name in my acknowledgements. Basically, if you want to be a key informant email me at nollywoodtatase@yahoo.com and I'll e-mail you back some more in-depth open-ended type questions about Nollywood and you can reply to me by e-mail. I'd really love to get in touch with you "home video" experts out there. Even if you don't consider yourself an expert but have just watched a lot of home videos and are interested in helping out a little more extensively, please get back to me.

In summary, PLEASE EVERYONE DO MY SURVEY FOUND AT THE WEB ADDRESS ABOVE AND THEN IF YOU WANT TO HELP FURTHER AND BE INCLUDED IN MY PAPER, ALSO E-MAIL ME on nollywoodtatase@yahoo.com .

If you feel like commenting on Nollywood and health/ Nollywood and women's health/Nollywood's role in society in general, you can also just post a reply here. But please please please do my survey too!!!

Thank you all so much in advance for all your help!!!

PS None of the comment boxes in the survey are compulsory but they will be helpful to me if you feel like adding comments.

I don't think Oyedepo is a bad guy but that's not to say it is right to curse your enemies as Christians. Sometimes when you're working hard to achieve something and then through wickedness someone takes it away from you, it's a really hard pill to swallow and it can make you bitter. Because even though the things on earth are just things, and we're not really supposed to get attached to them, it takes hard work to get them, so of course we become attached. It's hard to bless someone who has stolen from you, or who has killed someone you love, or who has basically sinned against you. But we do those things to God all the time and he gives us grace. I'm not saying that me I don't curse my enemies o,  I'm just saying that to be a better christian, it's something to work towards,  this blessing your enemies business,