₦airaland Forum

frijos:
Girls rarely date nice guys because they don't know how to create attraction. Ladies need someone who can bring out the naughtiness in them. Someone who is unpredictible. Someone challenging, full of suspense and intrigue. They want to feel protected. Someone who can stand for them anyday. Somone who isn't afraid to handle their f ups! someone who can act like a man. someone with personal authority with a good sense of humor.

I have to disagree. I don't think niceness has anything to do with "acting like a man." I don't see why nice guys can't be protective or stand up for his girl. I'm not one of those girls who want guys that are "a challenge" or "naughty" or "bad." It's a relationship. It's not a training. I don't have a daddy complex, I'm not looking for an authority figure to "handle my eff ups." My guy should be my partner not my parent.

I'm attracted to nice guys who are understanding and intelligent and funny and just basically kind and good and not ashamed to be any of these things. They know how to "create attraction," it's just that like I said, they usually like girls that aren't nice or good for them. All this bad boy whatnot, i don't find it hot at all. It doesn't appeal to me.

@ Topic

I love nice boys!!! I really do. But I'm a nice girl and for some reason the nice boys always want the bad girls and then THEY want to be "just friends" with you. And then they're bitter because they get trampled on by the bad girls and it's like "what did you expect?" And then we nice girls get the bad boys who like us because they want to "corrupt" us. And to be fair, lots of nice girls like bad boys, but I like nice guys. I think its the niceness, it's absolutely adorable. I love that!

Why would you propose to her if you only think you like her and "maybe love her?" I didn't really understand why you wanted to propose. Proposals should not just be frivolous things like just anyhow. Are you ready to get married.

nana:
Chai! What does pows mean?

I've been procrastinating wasting my time thinking hard about this one.
Could pows = pals ? maybe maybe?

W-O-W!!!! This is extra special!!! From the topic subject to the question, it's just extra extra special! even for NL.

j-girl:
Making love or loving you? Which one?
Whichever way, with this english, if i was her dad . . . I'll stop her from even talking to you for fear of CHD (contagious horrible diction).

Thank you o. I was wondering! Is it that she shouldn't make love to you or that she shouldn't love you anymore

MrCrackles:
TONDO RONDO

English has never been the same again since the day you were born!

English is dead!! _{And it was Tondo who murdered it}

RIP English. It was nice knowing you!!!

If you don't love her, don't say it back. Whatever happens after that, happens. At least you were honest. I wish pple wouldn't overuse that phrase.

It has happened to me (as in being the recepient of ILY and saying nothing) and I didn't love the guy and so I didn't say it back and it was an issue. And we broke up over the fact that I wasn't in love with him which was just as well really. I liked him but not loved.

@ H202 based on your quote: You're just mad you weren't chosen, and that a black man would choose 10 white girls over you.  If you are upset about being called out just tell your sisters to upgrade their morals.

Sometimes I feel bad for white women sef. They're like refuge of bitter black men, document-seekers, and just generic black men users. Why can't you just be more selective in the kind of woman (of whatever race) you choose in order to avoid drama. I tell my guy friends that girl is not ok and they never listen and then later they come complaining. That's your business. Make intelligent choices not "effing"-potential based ones.

@ Sauron on why most girls  hang in the NL Romance section:

um. Because this is where the boys come to cry and be emo or on the other end of the spectrum come to act like they are giant players when we all know the truth. It's cute though.

(the quote thing is messing up for me)
@ eldee when you said : You're contradicting yourself here
Do people choose to love the unlovable??

What I meant was like on the days when they are unloveable as in through the bad times. I think to really be in love with someone as in actually in love, there must be something beyond the physical that you find loveable like something about them. But like even on the days they're being a "beach," you still find something to love in them. Because in order to last, love needs reciprocation so they can't always be unloveable for it to be real.

If someone is not at all loveable ever as in on any day and they always treat you badly, and you convince yourself that you're in love with them, then of course you're a fool.

~Sauron~:
The guys that love genuinely and get treated like douche-bags. . . . . .Are they fools??

The thing is I've not met any guys who were really in love (and not lust and not infatuation) that got treated like douchebags. The guys who get treated like shite are the ones who are very quick to be like 'love-love" such that the girl loses respect because obviously its not real or reciprocated and so she feels like she can treat him anyhow. And I agree it's sad.

As for guys who love genuinely:
If you love someone as in really really, as in not just you like her effing abilities, or she looks good on your arm, or you just like to look at her, or its just so you're not alone, then if you don't read the situation before revealing your love, you're a bit of a fool but it's not too bad because at least you're a fool for love.
If you love someone and allow them to treat you like "sheet" and you stay in the relationship, then you're a fool because you need to love and respect yourself first in order to be able to love anyone properly.

Guys who are really in love with girls who are really in love with them, aren't fools at all. They're the smartest of the bunch. They made good decisions.

@ j-girl

If you had a sister, would you honestly let her date an NL boy No like seriously, would you

The thing is what a lot of people call love isn't that at all. It's sex and attraction. Naija guys are always very quick to start saying "love-love" things.  To me sha, it really cheapens the value of love when people just drop it so so easily. People need to start keeping it real.

Like 80% of pple who are like love-love on NL, we know it's not love because like 2 seconds after the heartbreak they're with someone else. Love is a choice, lust isn't, attraction isn't, possessiveness isn't.  There's a difference. Love is the ability to care for someone no matter what even when they are not loveable. It's not just words.

In my opinion guys who are really in love are not fools. Guys who say they are when they aren't and guys who are actually infatuated and say it's love, are fools.

This topic is quite overbeaten yet it never seems to get tired. As far as virginity being a lost value, it is ooo. People don't want to believe that not everyone is having sex. Everytime the topic is on Nairaland, people always tend to think the person claiming virgin is lying (and maybe they are).

The point is virginity is not the same as innocence or naivety. It's a perfectly valid choice to make and I personally think a lot of people on NL are lying their asses off about their sexual experiences and that's fine and within their rights. After all this is an anonymous forum where anyone can be whomever they want.

iyeayo:
she is 34 years, not getting any younger

That's not really a reason to marry someone. It's been done many times b4 and it hardly works out (by it, I mean the marriage-out-of-desperation-because-of-age thing). This guy cheated on her sister and yet she wants to get together with him. Well good luck to her. I couldn't even go out with a good friend's ex talk less of a sister's. I'm a girl but sometimes my "sisters" just make me shake my head.

I think it's definitely not a good idea. They're sisters and that would be disrespectful. I would say don't go there at all. But at the very least, talk to the sister/ex-girlfriend about it first to make sure she's ok with it before moving on.

I've always heard it's the bride's family. Everyone knows that. In reality though, the family who's organizing the majority of the wedding pays for the wedding.

Eba and any garri variation which sucked because some variation of garri or eba was served everyday except Friday and Sunday. I still can't stand eba or garri.

Yam Pottage. Ugh. No no no. I never liked it.

Onions in food. I can't bear them. Even now. I still pick them out till today.

Dry fish. I wasn't allowed to leave the table till I had eaten my dry fish because it was "a privilege" to have it apparently because it came all the way from "home" (the village hometown) and it offended my mom that I didn't like/appreciate it. Nasty nasty business.

Spaghetti. I eat other forms of pasta but there's something about spaghettin I just don't like. I manage it sometimes these days sha.

Tomatoes in salad. Pawpaw or any melon, watermelon. I hate them all. But unfailingly most nights they appeared as dessert for my "enjoyment and good health."

Sweet potato. Plantain pottage (with ubiquitous dry fish bits in it <shudder> labelled "brain food" by my mother).

I always want to go through pple's cell phones because these days they're like diaries and you find the most interesting things but I would never actually do that. It's just wrong. I think it's private and should remain so even in a relationship unless the person explicitly shows you. It's really shady to sneak around on pple's fones.

When I was younger they used to lie and say beans makes you grow. It's such a lie. I ate beans and I didn't grow that much and I hated beans; I only ate it for the dodo and garri and then I started hating garri (long story) and so I stopped eating beans. I grew really quickly after that (like 6 inches in 2yrs). I can't say for certain it was the beans, but let's just say it would be a really big coincidence if it wasn't

I've done it before in the name of familial and platonic love.

1.) I was visiting my uncle and aunt and my uncle woke up early the day I was leaving and made omelettes with like sardine, onions, peppers and tomatoes. My aunt was like "he never does that, he made it especially for you because you're leaving and he wants to do something nice for you. The thing is i HATE onions. Like that is a no go area. It's not possible. I don't play that. But I felt bad and so out of love, I swallowed that ish like it was my medicine. It was truely the worst thing I've ever eaten but I kept that smile on my face and was very gracious about it. NEVER AGAIN!!!!

2.) My best friend and my roommate from undergrad who is the sweetest, nicest american girl decided to make jollof rice for me on my birthday as in for a surprise party and she was soooooooo proud of her efforts and it was really a cute thing to do and she was like how is it how is it like really earnest and excited and i felt so bad, I was like lying of my butt saying it was really close to the real thing and really tasty etc and really it was honestly the nastiest thing ever. But I ate not 1 but 2 helpings out of love.

OMG you guys! I'm glad I'm not the only one. People are always telling me to stop being anally retentive about these things. Like clorox anywhere bleach spray and paper towels are like kitchen must-haves. I spray it everywhere even on my sponge because it's food safe. I hate the thought of germs. (When in naij, when no1 is there to see (because of teasing) I boil the sponges, change the kitchen cloths 2ce a day and I use really diluted bleach concoction in a spray bottle to sanitize the kitchen countertops).

1.) The spoon licking thing is disturbing!!! I hate hate hate that.
2.) Talking over and open pot. Stir what you're stirring first then step away from the pot and then continue the gist.
3.) The sponge. I hate when people use it to clean the worktops and the like meat blood and Godknowswhat germs and the cooker and then use it to wash glasses, it's the nastiest thing. I don't think any kind of dish soap is killing all the germs in those sponges.
4.) I hate when people want you to share cutlery with them. Like they're like taste this and then they use their fork or spoon that has been in their mouth to give you to taste and then you don't want them to feel like you think they are dirty and so you are forced to taste.
5.) Touching food with bare hands after its cooked. Like when you watch all those food shows and the chef is arranging the plate with his naked bare hands which he hasn't washed at all and has merely been wiping on his apron since he started cooking. Like when I go to a restaurant and the food is really well-arranged in the plate, I always say an extra prayer for health and safety.

ilurveit:
I think virginity overall is losing its value. I'm a virgin but that doesn't mean I don't know anything about sex or that I'm naive. I don't mind if a guy is a virgin. In fact, fewer sexual partners is a plus. Virgin doesn't mean bad in bed. We could learn together.

I agree completely with you!!! I think you're exactly right.

In theory I would do it because never let it be said that I was marrying for money.

Principle-wise though I don't really like the idea of that "in case our marriage fails" clause. I don't think before you marry someone you should be contemplating failure. In any case if my husband was breaking up with me, I wouldn't want his stinking cheating anything including his money.

When u're always the one:

calling
e-mailing
apologizing
caring
listening
giving
etc

then your relationship is probably one-sided!

I don't think one can generalize. You sound like you're ready to marry this girl. It seems in your post that you realize that marriage is not only love, it's also work, and that your girl realizes this too. So for you if you can see urself being with her no matter what, I don't think it's too young at all. I know I'm not ready to be anyone's wife right now, but if you're ready to be a husband, don't be dissuaded by others. Everyone is different. Find out what exactly the parental concerns are and  deal with them as per age. Like why they think you're too young. If you guys are already cohabiting, I would think both parents would be happy to make things official. Try and be respectful in dealing with their concerns sha.

JazzyJ:
i am a malaysian n i knw chinese girls too well

as it is said before chinese r the malaysian igbo

I feel bad saying this but this the funniest thing I've read/heard this month. I'm completely ROTFL. I'm a minority so foreigners never comment about my people. I love my Igbo peeps but its sha funny.

temiloju:
Maybe the guy no get money you sabi? come on give him a slack here ladies

temiloju:
Have you Mami, ever thought that this guy could feel embarassed telling the lady that he does hace 20 naira to call? And hey don't say it is not possible because as i dey so i never chop since afternoon,

1.) deyms, is temiloju the guy? because the way he's providing excuses like this?
2.) no money to call but money to be online and to text. he should call after midnight. just once! if it's important to him, he'll call. if he's in love, he'll call. but like i said about all this rapid love-love ish, it's really shady.

Okanran:
@ topic: Her name! All those lovey dovey names does nasty thangs 2 ma insides!

I agree. I usually just use the person's name. Like the only time i put descriptions when storing names are when I don't know the person well or when I think I might forget who they are e.g. with multiple names e.g. Temi Plumber, Temi School, Temi Fineboy etc etc

I'll also say be patient and see how things go. Like don't commit yourself like that. A lot of people are different in person from how they are on the internet. I think there's something about the internet that just changes people's real personalities. Like a guy that is shy becomes very mouthy on NL or a girl that has never been in a relationship becomes like an experienced sexpert on NL.

I don't really believe when "I love you" falls so easily from someone's mouth. I always think it's really shady. Because love is major and unfortunately pple use it really lightly these days like when they really mean I like you or I'm infatuated with you or I want to get to know you better or even just let's "eff."  So take with a pinch of salt when someone you've never met in real life is all about the love-love stuff but never calls you (warning bells). Meet him if you want, but don't commit yourself online and be broken hearted.