₦airaland Forum

i think i understand where you're coming from. Not to be the relationship spoiler, but have you considered that maybe you guys aren't compatible. I can see that you don't mean to be creepy and controlling and that you have good intentions, but have you considered that maybe her flirtatious/outgoing personality might not be a good match for your more reserved personality. Like you have to let people be themselves. If you want to be in a relationship with her, then you have to learn trust and to just let her be. If on the other hand, you're not comfortable with her behaviour, then maybe re-evaluate your relationship, and look for someone else who's more like you in personality and who won't make you so stressed out.

I think in your situation, it's hard not to come across as selfish or a snob but I understand what you mean. I think many guys would be happy to be in your situation because it seems that guys still like girls even after they know that the girls are only with them for their money. I think you need to build your self-esteem up and be proud of where you come from. If you're not getting the kind of guy you want, persevere. Eventually, the right guy will come along. Don't be so desparate to be in a relationship just because people are chatting you up and don't let the users get you down. Not all guys are like that.

I think it depends on how you want your relationship to be. Some guys really like the oga status of things like they really want to feel like the knowledgable one in the relationship.

For me sha, I think education is important, because it's been such a big part of my life and it's very important to me so I want a guy who can relate to me on that level, like when I say something, he knows what i'm talking about and vice-versa. I don't think I would marry someone who was completely uneducated but I mean never say never, I guess.

Neither. I'd go with personality any day. I can't be with a guy just for money or just because he's fine.

I don't dislike money, but I can't make my decision based solely on that. I like a guy that is intelligent, educated and ambitious and who can turn that into a good job equating to wealth, which we can build on together.

I don't dislike good looks, but I don't like guys that are too fine or worse think they are too fine because they tend to feel this entitlement like they're the shite or something and that's not attractive to me. I like guys that are attractive more than good-looking. Y'kno what I mean? Like whether or not they're fine, they have that something about them, that draws you to them.

chika98:
Why is this bit relevant?

ROFL! I think he was setting the ("romantic" scene. There's just something soooooooo sexy about Obama and McCain sparring over who said what about whom, no?

The hymen isn't really an accurate way to tell whether someone is a virgin or not. Some girls have more fragile hymens than others and many girls may already have broken it through horseback riding, riding bicycles, playing sports, pelvic exams at the doctors check ups, masturbation or tampon use or any combination of those activities.

Other girls still have their hymen intact even if they have had penetrative sex like if the sex wasn't that vigorous and some women don;t completely lose it till after they've had a baby.

So really, yes it is possible that she's a virgin with no hymen. You have to decide whether or not you can take her word for it.

this relationship is really dysfunctional. Both parties need to sort themselves out. Like i don't think it's bad that she was trying to test him, i think what's horrible is the way she did it. There are 2 things that it's never appropriate to lie about in relationships as a girl: 1.) being pregnant 2.) having an STD. This girl broke #1 and that's just not ok.

I think he has a reason to be upset. She took it too far.

Not that I'm for or against the picture-taking with celebs, but i am wondering what self-esteem has to do with it.

i thinki can be a jealous person, but I'm not psycho about it. I'm not one of those girls who check the mobile and follow the guy around. Like i will explain to my guy that i really don't like this or that but i'm not going to turn it into a fight. If discussion doesn't work and i'm being made to feel insecure, I walk away because at that point, it's evident that we're not compatible.

A-40:
No guy expects more than the actual number that i can tell you thats why i don't bother asking i like to be abstract with those kind of things it could be one it could be 100 the less you think about it the better because the truth is you are not the the first guy she met neither would you be the last so why get worked up about how many guys she has done the do with

I definitely think that as a girl you can't win with this question: 0 is too few or too unbelievable whether or not it's true i.e. you're always a liar apparently, and 1 apparently means you're understating things to look good and more than 1 will cause problems and awkwardness and will one day be referred to no matter how much the guy he doesn't care.

A-40:
First and Foremost Fellas why do y'all always ask a girl how many guys she has been with? even if she says she's only done two the guy is still going to look at her funny and besides you girls always lie about the number of guys y'all have done anyway

Girls more often than not only count their boyfriends they don't count the Miscellaneous dciks they had e.g the guy they met at the club,when they traveled abroad (thats international manliness that doesn't count)

ITA. However, I think sometimes guys expect more than the actual # is so you feel you have to overstate because they never believe you anyway whether you say zero or 175 (a la j-girl) so it doesn't really matter does it? Guys should just assign us the number they want because we can never get it right even w/the truth.

~Sauron~:
Whats Kutupa Kutupa?? Yamaha Generator??

ROTFL . I've never heard it called by that before!!! Yamaha generator, very interesting. Japanese quality and all.    

I'm not really on the side of proposing just to strengthen a relationship. Like it's really irritating when someone is like "my fiance said this" and I'm like "congrats when is the wedding" and they're like "oh we haven't set a date yet we're just getting used to the idea." It's like oh so basically it's not her fiance it's her boyfriend who has expressed an interest in marrying her.

Like I personally wouldn't accept anyone's proposal unless I was ready at that moment to marry them within the next 6-12mths and they were ready to do the same. I don't really believe in these long and vague engagements because they IMHO don't usually end in marriage. And to me, an engagement is a contract and my word is my bond so I don't just give it anyhow. I'd rather the direct route of the guy saying something like "I want us to start thinking about marriage" or "I'm really serious about you" or I dunno something. It doesn't have to be a proposal especially if he's not ready to get married.

~Sauron~:
Tatase's meter is scary.
Can a woman have 500 sexual partners in one lifetime??
Thatz classic nymphomania.

enhenh scary Ok what values/#s would you think appropriate for the categories "not-a-virgin," "experienced," "popular," "expert" and "(begging for) AIDS"

j-girl:
What? Weren't you the 100th one? :PI said 168. . . . I wasn't lying. I have slept with 7 boys in the last 3 weeks.  :-XThank you o, Tatase. That's what I've been telling them guys. I'm a mental virgin

Don't worry. You're still far from losing your virginity. Everyone knows the scale is like this:

500partners= disvirgined
1000  = experienced
2000 = popular
5000 = expert
10000 = AIDS

So you can def. carry on. You're still an innocent in my book!!!  

j-girl:
175 men and still counting

Really!!!! Only that I would have thought much more. Why you're practically a virgin!!!

well it was early depending on your definition of early as well as your of interpretation of his given age, not that I'm insinuating anything o.

@ poster

I think guys are getting randier. But I don't think it's the clothes, after all there were ultra miniskirts in the 60s and 70s too. It's the porn it's everywhere and it's so easy to get and fewer things are taboo and so everyone wants to give stuff a go and be like an amateur porn star.

yo tengo muchos dvds de las telenovelas en espanol (de mexico y venezuela) y toldo mi "espanol" (si puedes "call it that" es de las telenovelas. Bueno puedo parlar muy malo por que yo no tengo el vocabulario o el conjugacion por que yo no parlo nunca el espanol y yo "have only heard it". Parlo "french" (yo no se el "word" muy bien y un poquito del italiano y penso "the grammar" es un poquito "similar" bueno yo "want to learn" espanol ahora.

Thanks this was really helpful. When I do my eyebrows it tends to be a matter of chance whether they turn out well or not but then i found that the suggestion of brushing the eyebrows up was extremely helpful because for the first time i really saw what i needed to take off. ANd then also i marked where my arch should begin and that really gave me a template on where to shape. Thanks this was super.

Of course is this surprising? Is it a glory match? How will he want to come. The dude needs to get his international career together also because the time will come to go to world cup and he will now be interested or when it's time to renew that work permit, he'll now know us. Is it the one saturday match that is affecting his club career like that when 2 key players in his midfield are injured and he's pretty much guaranteed a spot in the team? Why are other midfielders not saving themselves for their clubs? Where are his mates? He always pulls this ish anyway so whatever; that's his business.

@ Ujujoan

I may not agree with you on abortion but that's not the point here. I believe regarding that, it's a really sensitive issue and people feel so strongly about their point of view that its not really useful to go over whether its right or wrong. Everyone is entitled to their opinion in that sense. My point is I am concerned about the message you're giving about contraceptives. Millions and millions of women who use them find them quite effective. Actually apart from the pill and condoms, methods recommended for married people like implants, injections and especially the IUD are usually VERY effective because they eliminate consumer error. Maybe it's not what you mean, but it really comes across like you're saying contraceptives are not that effective and are risky and soooo many women who should really be using them are not because they have these misconceptions that are usually more fiction than fact. And just by the way, complications are more likely to occur from an abortion in naij (because of legal and social stigma issues with obtaining an abortion (if not for life-saving purposes) which means you have to be willing to PAY well in naij to get it done right meaning most women don't get it done right or if they do get it done right, they don't go for required follow up) than they are from contraceptive use (IUD has a failure rate of less than 1%) and the complications if they occur are obviously more serious in the case of abortion than they are with contraceptives.

zheroes:
i will buy her a drum of perfume

Armpit odour with a drum of perfume on top. That's the magic right there 

I absolutely loved it. I thought it was great!!! I can't wait for the next installment.

ripper:
Tatase just wanted to know how the hills is like

In what sense? I mean it's like a reality show except there's no "prize". It's like about the "real" life of Lauren Conrad (LC) who was in this other show called Laguna Beach. It's on MTV? It's not like the best show in the world and it can be a little melodramatic but I've been following it since it started and it's one of my favourite things on tv and I'm obsessed with the drama of it all. It's definitely a can't miss for me.

The body odour thing can be a problem o. Let's keep it real. Some people's body odour is very sharp and grabs you by the throat. You know what I mean, like you want to gag? And it's not necessarily an issue of hygiene or deodorant because you know they use, that's just their scent. To me sha I think when you can't bear a potential partner's scent, it's nature's way of telling you that you guys aren't compatible.

Actually my mother is Okrika from Okrika town proper. I think I know where Ogan-Ama is, its on the road right before you get to Okrika town abi?

As for my Ijaw writing I didn't mind at all thank you for the correction, its exactly the way it sounds. I've never read Ijaw before so this was a revelation. Obviously I don't know my sentence structure properly. I just know relevant phrases but I'm glad to learn.

I grew up all my life in Lagos (but I'm not Yoruba o in spite of the name, I'm Urhobo) but have not spent much time at all in the Niger-D. I'm in the States doing my Masters right now but I'm sha still naij-based.

LOL! I think the edible g-string thing is because g-strings are allegedly sexy and so maybe edible granny pants would be like a turn-off. Like before your guy was going to eat, but when he saw the big dross he changed his mind. Hopefully before putting the vanilla on, especially knowing the activities coming, you've sanitized the er, nyash area and environs.

Ujujoan:
These so called contraceptives and family planning methods are not 100% effective. There could be mistakes and as far as I can tell, the side effects of abortion is not as bad as that of some of these contraceptives.

I think this is a very irresponsible message for an enlightened person to be putting out in 2008 about FP. I'm sorry but that is absolutely ridiculous. Like how can you be ok with abortion but not with contraceptives? How many abortions should a woman have before she does the necessary. I'm not saying that everyone should believe in using contraceptives but if you're not then be prepared to be pregnant and that's fine. What's not fine is like saying "Oh i can always have an abortion if I get pregnant because it's even less harsh on the body than contraceptives." That's bogus!

Many modern contraceptives are nearly 100% effective.  They're as effective as you can get. If you want to be responsible or if you've not discussed having another kid with your partner, you use them. Please. The ones that people tend to cite as not being effective are condoms (which are usually are ineffective as a result of inadequate or improper use) and the contraceptive pill (which is usually ineffective because the person missed days or was ill). Most methods recommended for married people who don't want to have any more children used in Nigeria are actually quite effective e.g. the Injectables, the IUD and Implants. I did my work experience for undergraduate at a primary health center in a periurban area in naij and the women there definitely knew to come for their injection or to come for their IUD to prevent pregnancy and space their children. Yes in there can be complications but it is rare that they are so serious or that they last a long time and they are not that common and certainly not as bad as abortion. You can't compare abortion to contraceptives. Depending on the age of the pregnancy, it can be a serious procedure and can have way worse complications than contraceptives even when they are legal and done in a hospital so thank you, but it's a bigger deal than contraceptives. An abortion is NOT better than the prevention of using contraceptives which is why you're supposed to get contraceptive counseling at your post-abortion care session.

switosman:
onething I will like to understand from the babes in the house, what will make a girl hold on to a relationship when she had been categorically told its not for marriage. she concurred at the beginning and all of a sudden she want to dictate the route the relationship will take. answer me if you can, is it wrong to cheerish your girl, to encourage her to go for her dreams, to allow all the freedom and help her change her live?

It's the same thing that makes a girl stay in a relationship where the guy is a cheat or is abusive: She thinks she can get him to change his mind. Your girl probably thinks she can get you to change your mind if you stay together, that eventually you'll decide you want to marry her if she waits/holds on. The only thing that is fair is to make a clean break. Explain everything again and leave her alone as in you've already hurt her and there's nothing you can do about that but stop contacting her and talking with her because you're giving her false hope. It's mean but it's what you have to do if you're serious about breaking up with her. It's better like this in the long run.

First I don't want to make it an argument of which league is best. Everyone has their favourite and it's really a personal choice. However, I do want to address your arguments as to why the English League is a "Load of Rubbish!"

If you have beef with the Premiership that's your own. I enjoy watching the Premiership because I find it interesting, I think of it as a separate entity entirely from the English National Team because it's a different thing completely. What's my own with the English national team? You can watch whatever league you find so amazing, that's your prerogative. I think it's fine and within your rights just to simply not like the Premiership but then your arguments for why the rest of us are sheepishly believing the hype of our colonial masters are a little bogus. E.g.

1.) It's because of English media hype that Premiership is so popular.
I don't agree because I think Super Sport on DSTV heavily hype the PSL and Cosafa castle cup and make it so it's what's on most of the time, and that doesn't make it popular. I still don't think the league is good and I don't know anyone in my circle who excitedly follows the PSL or argues about Sundowns vs. Maroko Swallows y'know.

2.) Remove foreign players and English league would die.
This is true of any league. Remove foreign players from any league and most would probably collapse to an extent. Apart from maybe Arsenal, I can't think of any English league team that does not include English players amongst its top stars. You might say England underperforms as a national team but a.) that has nothing to do with the strength of their league as evinced by regular good performances in the UCL and b.) that's none of my business as a non-English premiership fan who has their own national team they support and c.) think: success in a national team does not make a successful league e.g. look at the african teams who made it to the last world cup, how much do you know about Togolese league or Ghanaian league, I'm not saying these leagues are bad but I'm asking if they are the best in Africa simply because the national teams of these countries made it to the last world cup.

3.) The globalization and football issue.
Most leagues that are any good have foreign players as the backbone. Look at the best teams and please identify the ones that are entirely composed of indigenous players. You won't really find any. Let's not get into semantics, it can be said of most top European teams that they are international clubs located within the country but really their location, history, registration and primary fanbase identifies them as being from that country. If you want to get into it, lets not even talk club teams, look at the french national team, and decide how many indiginous french players (not of caribbean or maghrebin origin) have been in their top team in the period since their success began (i.e. late 90s). It's a football club, not a national club, players have been playing abroad for decades even in the olden days. Let's not prehistoric. Let's recognize times are changing. I think it makes the quality of football better personally because people are beginnig to learn different skills which they can bring home to their national teams.

4.) Players from outside England always do well in the Premiership.
I don't think this is an absolute. It depends on a players adaptability to the style of football played in the premiership. E.g. English football is played on the wings if you're from a Latin American/Spanish tradition where you dribble through the center and hold on to the ball more, you're not going to be able to cope. Same if you're from and English team, where the game is more of a passing game than an on-the-ball game, it may be difficult to adapt to holding on to the ball for a prolonged perion.  It has to do with style of football and many a latin american or african player has not made it in English football because they can't adapt or fit into the style which premiership teams play.

And also just a couple of corrections of some of your generalizations:

The English A lot of players are better known for their drinking, bar fights and womanising.

Many football fans choose to participate in drinking and bar fights.

Additionally, many men are known for their drinking, bar fights and womanizing.