₦airaland Forum

Jaqenhghar:
Hahahahaah. Feel demeaned? Oh no it takes more than a facless smartass to make me feel demeaned. I had almost frogotten this exchange.

Are you an Atheist /Freethinker too , your profile picture creates such assumption

Jaqenhghar:
Hahahahaah. Feel demeaned? Oh no it takes more than a facless smartass to make me feel demeaned. I had almost frogotten this exchange.

I guess the weather is great then .

budaatum:
Just heard you did not give the ten dollars last time, that's naughty >:
Send me email so I can paypal you ten dollars so you can pay next time please. Email is on profile.

Haha you again

100k Ko
Doctor ni
Even doctors how much are they paid in naija

PastorAIO:
There are sorcerers and sourcerers but then there's me, I'm Saucier. The sauciest in fact.

I'm impressed

NuissancePolice:
Guys, I can bet my two balls that if you try this, you will never bother yourself with women. I shared this secret with my friend and he thought I was joking until he tried it. This shit is just marginally different from real sex and totally worth it. You will not realise how useless women are until you try it. Once you do, you will realise that you have been wasting 5k or more on oloshos and girlfriends.

The danger with this method is that if not properly controlled, it might easily degenerate to addiction...which if you ask me, is better than sex addiction because the latter will drain you financially.

It is not a new method per se, it is just an augmentation of the already existing intimacy gadgets available.

Most people see me as a very disciplined person, one who does not womanise. Little do they know that I've got my closet secret. It pains alot of girls in my area that I don't even acknowledge their presence whenever I move out. Truth is I might not be the most handsome dude in my street but I am good looking and well to do so it hurts them that I give zero fvcks about them. Alot of confusing rumours and gossips about me have even been created in an attempt to explain what appears to be mysterious about me.

Without further ado, here's the secret to enjoying pleasure that is approximately 99.9% the intensity of real sex. The only thing missing is the mental turn on that comes from the weight of the woman on you or the inelastic collisiion of the bodies.

Steps to simulated sex as prescribed by nuissance police is as follows.

1. Buy fleshlight, nivea lotion, pears baby oil and 1gb or 2gb data.

2. With the fleshlight in vertical postion, pour like 5 to 10 bean-size drops of pears baby oil around the circumference of the fleshlight's anterior. Allow gravity to pull it down or you could open the hole and put the drops. For best results, open the hole and smear like 3 or 4 drops directly to the bottom of the hole then smear another 3 or four drops around the edges of the hole.

3. Smear like 2 or 3 drops of nivea lotion. Similar to 2 above, open the hole and smear 1 or 2 drops direcly at the bottom and another 1 or 2 around the hole.

4. Finish with another 2 or 3 drops of pears baby oil around the fleshlight's aperture.

5. Allow to settle in a vertical position, during which you look for a good network area and log in to any porn site. Xvideos, xnxx etc.

5. Download as much porn as your data can afford and lock the porn vids in a safelock app so that hypocrites will not mock you if they find porn on your fone by accident.

6. My best porn in decreasing order are italian>ghanian>other african countries>ebony ladies. Be creative and use keywords like ass, huge etc.

7. Stroke your deek with your already prepared fleshlight while watching your favorite porn and feel the pleasure of s*x. I can swear that you won't last more than 4 mins before you cum. Make sure there is no one around else you might moan very loudly in ecstasy when you cum...especially if you are a jjc.

I know they will soon come and bash me. They will call me names and try to guilt trip me by saying all sort of religious things. The "one girl must have showed him pepper crew" will also come.

what's flashlight though

iamdrfresh:
for me, crap I say.
might be OK for someone who hasn't done d real thing before. that could be the closest to d real thing besides soapy wanking
but
can it moan?
can u change styles?
can u play with b**bs or s*ck while at it?

boobs are mammalian glands for feeding and not sexual organs , no animals consider breast as sexual organs except man

Zaheertyler:
I'll try my best not to be a hypocrite
But bro with world war 3 in view
You should be thinking of how to protect your self

no you should enjoy yourself to the very end

ngsoundin:
says an idiot wh doesn’t know there is a strip club in ikeja Lagos

super burn

budaatum:
I, buda, predict that stupidity and ignorance will significantly reduce.

People would stop believing silly stuff and actually question in order to know because knowing is superior to just believing and trembling in fear.

And so you can measure and judge the fulfilling of this prophecy right, the evidence for this would be seen by the end of the first year of the decade and increase significantly thereafter as we all use our brains and minds!

hmm

budaatum:
I do read my Bible and my Quran, but they say one must believe instead of gain understanding, so I do not qualify for either, according to some.

good morning crazy weather right . I'll like to email you.

yommen:
How much be the Bleep na?

lol brother

Jaqenhghar:
Tanchu Sah.

didn't mean to demean you
You shouldn't demean others also , How's the weather over there

firstjoe:
huncle never even see colour oh her paainnt

ah ! This uncle Na die ,

Khaleell001:
go get your drugs

that's not nice

omlueh:
Indeed you are a Sourcerer.

indeed I am

AwkaetitiBabe:
You should have asked ur dad what actually changed him from an atheist to a fanatic Christian. What encounter changed his belief

love for my mom , she' was obviously born In a christain home
Forced him to go to church he resisted and resisted till he fell again . Now he's dogmatic I doubt anyone can remove him from that bondage

omlueh:
Indeed you are a Sourcerer.

lol yeah I've got magical powers ....!

So my school results came out after dropping out 3 universities (I screwed up and I've moved on) I am an Atheist , so the stereotype of of been an Atheist is real , because I wrote in school acceptance forms
Religion : None
I was rejected twice , this is within the period of 6 years though , My parents know my stand , my mom though (dad was an atheist turned fanatic Christain' well because he eloped with my mom who mom is a church goer but now a freethinking one(thanks to me) , heres a chat between us .Religion is Crap by the way .
What will be will be ,you will die someday you don't need a god/diety to tell you that .

CAPSLOCKED

Dss has better looking guns than police
Are they not part of the police?

budaatum:
I do read my Bible and my Quran, but they say one must believe instead of gain understanding, so I do not qualify for either, according to some.

which of course should be the way it should be in any sane Community , you should not just believe

jamiudinho:
I tot I was the only one that saw that

hypicracy would not allow them notice it

Jaqenhghar:
I already did. If you dont understand what I say its probably due to your lack of comprehension skills sadly.


[img]https://media1./images/7d19789a12f6b41cb7416343e85f1727/tenor.gif?itemid=5053844[/img]

It is not what I say
It's 'what I said'
Try as much as possible to increase your communication skill as well

Seankhalifa:
Make dem con try am for kaduna

pardon my ignorance I thought these things only happens up North , in others words Northern big cities like Kaduna would be affected too

deskhal:
I was 18 when I left. I want to go back for a masters programe. I’m choosing Canada because it’s a place i’ve been to and the experience was great besides my academic predicament.

I know and I understand you fully but move on. It's the only thing we can do
Explore new places outside your comfort zone, then visiting Canada would be done when it would be done with almost no stress at all,

Here we go again

PeacenLove2:
I believe these are part of old things have passed away. The truth is the Christian Religion is about if not the most refined religion of this century. Other religion might benefit from an updated testament as well.

Buddhism is a bit more refined in truth
And yeah I guess they do need updating like the christain book but what's the essence ?

Um so.?

budaatum:
Zen Buddhism. "Adopt the religion of those around you in order to understand".

Hmm I see , but looking at it from a lay man's perspective isn't that Chrostainity/Islam ?

deskhal:
The last thing I need is for people to start insulting me for making a mistake in the past like i didn’t know that already. I asked for advice and i’ve been getting none. I’d apply for the visa and I believe i’d get it.

tbh Nairaland is literally one of the worst places to ask for Advice except relationship and religious advice of course
And I know how it feels , you were probably a teen then or a young adult , I'm sure you're moving on if not you should , worring never solves anything really
, And does it have to be Canada ?

visaland:
Controversial Journalist, Kemi Olunloyo has expressed her unbelief for the bible in a latest message on her social media account. Kemi wrote the "bible is riddled with ‘fake’ stories."
Read her views on the bible below titled “Why I Don’t Believe in the Bible”:
“Many of u fans all over social are asking me how I knew about Jesus and God if not the bible. Stupid dumbass question.
The answer is FROM MY UGLY SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER who told us stories. I don’t believe or read the bible. I will never touch it again. It is full of fake stories. God NEVER ENDORSED the bible! He asked us to worship him directly not thru a book or pastor. If more people were spiritual like me rather than being religious, this will be a better world.
I became a born again spiritual being Sunday December 25th 2011 and now this Sunday December 25th 2016 #Kesus is back. Remember Kesus, my spiritual name. I don’t do church, don’t respect pastors or read the bible. So many versions of it too. That King James (Lebron) version is the FAKEST!
The real King in the biblical days was not even A CHRISTIAN and his royal biblicalness had no business writing a BIBLE. Christianity has nothing to do with Christmas! Jesus was not even born December 25th either. Lies everywhere. 400 ppl got blocked off my verified Facebook page’s 77,000 and I’m ready to block another 400 who insult me.
There is an Igbo guy in my inbox now who says he wants to marry me and get rid of my bachelorette reality show, good looking and all and I must “give my life to Jesus” begging me. He says if I do he will give me $100K aka N48M. He’s a company CEO. You can’t even “buy” me with these Jesus freak lines. I already love Jesus and God and that’s why my Christmas name is #KESUS.
Absolutely no bibles, pastors or church. Religion is the biggest lie to mankind. I see people heading to Mecca to stone the devil. The devil is already in your home, office, everywhere and many DIE in stampedes there! I’m not religious, I’m spiritual.Controversial Journalist, Kemi Olunloyo has expressed her unbelief for the bible in a latest message on her social media account. Kemi wrote the "bible is riddled with ‘fake’ stories."
Read her views on the bible below titled “Why I Don’t Believe in the Bible”:
“Many of u fans all over social are asking me how I knew about Jesus and God if not the bible. Stupid dumbass question.
The answer is FROM MY UGLY SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER who told us stories. I don’t believe or read the bible. I will never touch it again. It is full of fake stories. God NEVER ENDORSED the bible! He asked us to worship him directly not thru a book or pastor. If more people were spiritual like me rather than being religious, this will be a better world.
I became a born again spiritual being Sunday December 25th 2011 and now this Sunday December 25th 2016 #Kesus is back. Remember Kesus, my spiritual name. I don’t do church, don’t respect pastors or read the bible. So many versions of it too. That King James (Lebron) version is the FAKEST!
The real King in the biblical days was not even A CHRISTIAN and his royal biblicalness had no business writing a BIBLE. Christianity has nothing to do with Christmas! Jesus was not even born December 25th either. Lies everywhere. 400 ppl got blocked off my verified Facebook page’s 77,000 and I’m ready to block another 400 who insult me.
There is an Igbo guy in my inbox now who says he wants to marry me and get rid of my bachelorette reality show, good looking and all and I must “give my life to Jesus” begging me. He says if I do he will give me $100K aka N48M. He’s a company CEO. You can’t even “buy” me with these Jesus freak lines. I already love Jesus and God and that’s why my Christmas name is #KESUS.
Absolutely no bibles, pastors or church. Religion is the biggest lie to mankind. I see people heading to Mecca to stone the devil. The devil is already in your home, office, everywhere and many DIE in stampedes there! I’m not religious, I’m spiritual.Controversial Journalist, Kemi Olunloyo has expressed her unbelief for the bible in a latest message on her social media account. Kemi wrote the "bible is riddled with ‘fake’ stories."
Read her views on the bible below titled “Why I Don’t Believe in the Bible”:
“Many of u fans all over social are asking me how I knew about Jesus and God if not the bible. Stupid dumbass question.
The answer is FROM MY UGLY SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER who told us stories. I don’t believe or read the bible. I will never touch it again. It is full of fake stories. God NEVER ENDORSED the bible! He asked us to worship him directly not thru a book or pastor. If more people were spiritual like me rather than being religious, this will be a better world.
I became a born again spiritual being Sunday December 25th 2011 and now this Sunday December 25th 2016 #Kesus is back. Remember Kesus, my spiritual name. I don’t do church, don’t respect pastors or read the bible. So many versions of it too. That King James (Lebron) version is the FAKEST!
The real King in the biblical days was not even A CHRISTIAN and his royal biblicalness had no business writing a BIBLE. Christianity has nothing to do with Christmas! Jesus was not even born December 25th either. Lies everywhere. 400 ppl got blocked off my verified Facebook page’s 77,000 and I’m ready to block another 400 who insult me.
There is an Igbo guy in my inbox now who says he wants to marry me and get rid of my bachelorette reality show, good looking and all and I must “give my life to Jesus” begging me. He says if I do he will give me $100K aka N48M. He’s a company CEO. You can’t even “buy me with these Jesus freak lines. I already love Jesus and God and that’s why my Christmas name is #KESUS.
Absolutely no bibles, pastors or church. Religion is the biggest lie to mankind. I see people heading to Mecca to stone the devil. The devil is already in your home, office, everywhere and many DIE in stampedes there! I’m not religious, I’m spiritual.

how can I reach out to her ?

They will not listen , they are intellectually unable to comprehend a life outside god so i don't bother anymore