₦airaland Forum

benedictnsi:
Lol...... @Op it is indeed "Two good heads", not just two heads.



Op just like hundreds of your heads are equal to mine when I'm drunk

Guy u must show workings o!

I fia u o!

Meanwhile lalasticlala come arrange meeting for us make we meet for evening make I see wetin this chairman dey talk. Anyway I dey busy now. make I quickly cut this my chairman hair finish

So you see! Two heads are not always better than one.

Pepe come see all these small pikins o...

Ishilove:
Must be a young marriage

not that young babe, we have passed the fight fight stage (first 3 years), we used to fight over everything, I guess we just got tired of everyday fight and we settled for 'understanding'. And it worked! We are well over 5 years now

Abegi make I park here first as I just pass this jobless girl (introvert).

I don't really know how we do it, sometimes we can go from 200MPH to 0, last time we were in a heated arguement, I called her 'egyptian coconut', we both looked at ourselves and busted into laughter. Another time, she was on my neck, things got heated up and she came up to me, I told her not to smack her lips again as it was turning me on, she smiled and I grabbed her, we were giggling and you know the rest...

Bottom line is, know how to end a conflict by understanding your partner, not hitting below the belt, respecting one another, as well as making loads of love, its one of the best marriage gifts!

And this one go get husband so!

texazzpete:
Why blame the FG and RCC for a driver overspeeding?

Nigerians never like to take any responsibility. Sad

you don't understand bro!

The road was billed to be completed during jonathan's tenure, lack of complete payment made RCC stall the completion of the road. The road now has the full recipe for disaster (as you have seen) many new road users are not even aware of the diversions, they think it is 'one way' hence, wanting to overtake anyhow, the other side of the road is blocked due to construction. Please ply that road and give me feedback so you would comprehend what I typed.

I just passed there, it is truly horrific! The truck skidded to one side of the road, I guess he was trying to avoid the oncoming bus. FG and RCC has the whole blame, for so long now they are still constructing the road, road diversions here and there. How many lives are we going to sacrifice for road construction?

GOATandYAMtheory:
and who is joking with this f00l? I am only urging you to start to use ur brain. Its decaying.

bros am SMH for you...

You cannot differentiate between decaying and decayed?

Severus snape can equally be described as a fly who prefers to be buried with the corpse.

Leave them, they have decided not to know no peace. I out rightly ignore them if I was u, they are still dwelling in the past (jona). We are leaving them behind!

This is pure wickedness!
@ OP throughout 6 years, Jonathan yab no reach this one.

Na only you waka come?
Prinspa! Prinspa!

Hmmm... Ok, kontinu.

bismick:
That is a flimsy excuse frm Buhari gov..the family of the affected ppl was given immidiate jobs and #71m by the past administration and even embacked on a smooth recruitment prior to the election...there is more to it!

you lack exposure!

Gud

Iamsynord:
While Some Wack lyrics are Totally Meaningless, psquare in Shekini ( Oya burukutu Sabaraba oh ...) or Skales in Shake body ( Sarotome So mu to to to Talobere) and many more other conjured lines and Phrases, This List basically deals with Actual lines or Lyrics but are when interpreted,so meaningless and non compatible .

1) Iyanya - From the Bed to the Bedroom ( Gift ft Donjazzy).His bed might be in his Bathroom tho

2) Kcee - I be Monkey,You be Banana, i will give u ( meaning the banana) ,anything that u wanna. i need not further explain this

3) PSquare - Like the Statue of Liberty,Nobody knows Tomorrow.( Testimony)..I still dont get ??

4) Dbanj- From lagos to london ,she shake her bombom( Kukere Remix)
Money is important.Stew is Pepper ( Blame it on the money)

5) Dprince- Now you don Shit for Church, u dey look for person wey go come clean your yansh ( OYO). why .oh Why God ??

6) Davido - Check my phone E be Bb 10 he be bb ( Omo mummy)
Con chop moringa,dance like a baller in na( Tchelete).. Davido has many more this two are sad

7) Tekno - Your Beauty make me Realise,Shey Nepa no bring light ( Duro).. Tekno ??

ice Prince- If you no soji av no fear,i spend money on d things i wear ( I swear ft French Montana)
We don day squeese breasts, na we dey carry pass ( I swear)

9)Skales - Am hot,My head has Burn ( Wonder ft Reekado banks)

10) Olamide- She wan run from me,i will bite your ass,i will bite u ( Da yan mo)

You no try at all jare!

As I no see edris abdulkareem (wey be dia papa) dia, your list is incomplete

Donariok:
That's wot happened if u make an old illiterate a President in this modern world

u no even read the thing sef, u just rush come wail mr wailer... Naira rises against dollars. It means naira is getting better and appreciating. Ode

1) What happens to your headlight when you are driving faster than the speed of light and your headlights are on?
2) Can you be 'whelmed' if you can be 'underwhelmed' and 'overwhelmed?
3)Why do your alarm 'go off' when it actually comes on?
4) Why is 'burn up' and 'burn down' the same? 'wise guy' and 'wise man' opposite?
5) Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
6)Why is the 'black box' actually a red box?
7)Why do we ship by car, and cargo by ship?
When a husband dies,his wife is called a widow,if wife dies, the husband becomes a widower,if the parents die, the children are called orphans, what do you call parents who lost their child / children?parenter?
9) If you remove a fly's wing, do you call it a 'walk'?
10) What is the difference btw fat chance and slim chance? Slow up and slow down?
11) Why is bra singular and panties plural?

Haywhymido:
Call ur husband to one side n tell him. In his right senses he wld tell u to give it to the old man. Shikena

ur head na sense factory.

funmilade4real:
I graduated in 2014 with a first class degree in business studies. I am 22 and working as a sales assistant in a clothing store. It was meant to be a part-time job for extra income while studying, however, it feels like I am going to be stuck here forever.

I am looking for office roles, in particular admin roles or those to do with HR. I’ve been applying to jobs since I graduated – I either get no response or, once in a blue moon, I get an interview, but it doesn’t end well. Most places I have applied to say I am an introvert and they prefer someone who is more confident in communicating. Or they say I lack work experience.

What I don’t get is how am I able to get work experience when no one gives me a chance? Every job requires some sort of work experience, even internships and entry level jobs. I’ve been to local recruitment agencies, handed them my CV, but it’s been three months and still no reply. I am getting more demotivated and desperate, please can you give me some advice.

come back to nigeria and find job, shikena!
Obviously you are in UK, things can only get tighter, first class for immigrant no do the job again, 4 naija better still dey for first class o!

All these people way wan burn dia candle because of obodo oyinbo sef?

cococandy:
I give up

no giving up!

TheSonOfMark:

Most men wouldn't take that decision 'cause that would be blackmail.
He'd ask you to do what you like which is actually the test.

It's not about the meat. SalC, if you were in space with your dad and hubby and only one oxygen tank is left (after you've strapped one on yourself of course), who would you give?

bros

Your head is sense making, you dey dia joor...
Piece of meat is just an example, bur the major tin is that who would they favor more in the two men!?

Juxtified:
Hahahaha.
Now u get it abi? If you had said something like - "only one car left in d garage", "Only one ticket to a concert abroad", etc we for no disturb u

ok, noted!

Sabrwahaqqo:
'were'; 'is' will do instead...
To your question; Maybe she should get a knife, pick the meat and cut into two. It's that simple.
Any other question?

the english is right, it is an assumption.

At the knife tin, na insult sef o

marshalcarter:
1-must you be dis wucked and harsh
2-must you steal what's in ma mind
3-are you tryin to say the OP's poverty is 1st class

maybe I should use 'only 50 million naira', instead of 'only meat' una go free me bah?

Juxtified:
Poverty question

bros. E Fit happn na! E fit be for party or for some other situation, no be only poverty

Ladies If there were only one meat in the pot, and you were to serve your dad and husband, who would you give? Your dad or your husband? Leave your comments please...

Cc:


Lalasticlala, ishilove

tayotayotayo:
Greetings to all Nairalanders, I feel very sad and angry to write this and also to warn everyone to be careful of who to trust when it comes to Job seeking.

On 28th of July, 2015, I was job hunting on nairaland as usual when I came across an urgent vacancy for an administrative manager for a video production firm. I contacted the OP almost immediately from the contact he posted, after much inquiries and discussion over the phone, he asked if I could meet him at his office that same day to which I obliged and after meeting, he concluded I should start work on 3rd of august 2015.

Prior to the date I was supposed to resume, I had 2 other job offers which I forgo because this particular one was closer to my place of residence than the rest. I went to the office at the supposed resumption date all dressed up at the agreed time to find the place locked up, I waited for about 2hrs while calling my employer but he did not take my calls. After this agonizing 2hrs of waiting, he sent me a text that he was in a meeting and very busy, I waited some more time before finally leaving. After then, I have been calling him and he gave different kind of stories and excuses even stopped responding to my calls and messages but all proved I am not having the Job again after losing my other Options.

Presently, to say I feel hurt is an understatement. I wont publish the name of the company or the guy himself but I have handed him over to the almighty God who is the supreme Judge. May God judge him. Please friends, be very careful who you trust, dont ever forgo any opportunity for another even when its sure you got it.

Village tins is involved, consult ifa

FriedPlantain:
Relax, all she did was squirt on your condom and some poured on skin. Just wash your pen1s well and confirm the condom didn't break, you have no cause to scare yourself this much.

Please do let the poor lady leave she has done no wrong biko.

baba you done dey make sense nowadays o...

*amwatching*

XavierBlue:
admiring your pastors wife ass
am damn guilty of this



XavierBlue

bros you na professor for here o!

starlingslimnet:
"Speak things that edifies the church" Tell me how on earth do this edifies?

it can make people realize some things and make necessary correction, or should we all just pretend it does not happen?

Mancity26:
Op are u learning how to count 1 to 3? You said 7 tinx and leta say 10 and finally u put diwn 4.... Na sapele weed u dey take? #funnyNation

bros I beg no ves for me!


I jus chop!