₦airaland Forum

I know a woman who married an average man and then he got rich. She said she wished they could go back to those days when they didnt have much girls are now chasing him all over the place.

@Tosinville, hmm, so your not wanting to get married is because you think women change after child birth, why do you suppose women change after having children? (that is assuming they do change)

@tosinville , is marriage about children?, I think marriage can be what ever you want it to be, you could decide to get married and not have kids

Growing up I noticed that married people around me simply didn't look happy and promised myself i wasn't gonna be getting married. As i grew up i realised happines was not a function of being married or not, but didn't see any reason to go back on my decision of not getting married.

I wonder where people get the idea that marital status is a determinant of happiness

I'm in my 40'S and unmarried. I don't think marriage is something to go into so as to fullfill society's expectations of me so I didn't bother. i get all sorts of comments but truth is when i think of the alternative which is most likely being in a marriage just to fullfill society's expectations, i know i made the right choice.

@ poster yes it is possible to be single and happy same as it is possible to be married and happy

Where in the Bible is it written that one must get married?

With bombs going off all over the place, played it safe and stayed in bed  

blast was at the Abacha barracks, 11 dead many wounded.

@alisigwe, there is nothing wrong with raising a family if that's what you want, but why do u assume every woman wants to raise a family?

Its intresting the way most people think a lady must want to get married or something is wrong.

is it just me or are some guys equating wife or girlfriend with servant?

I think you should find a way of telling her.

I know someone that walked in on her husband and another man. It almost killed her.

She walked out of the marriage but if some one had told her about him, she wouldn't have married him in the first place.

I think you should talk to your Friends wife .

I think the question should be what does the Bible say about it?

My take on this is, one usually goes into a relationship for love and companionship. I think distance to a large extent negates the companionship aspect. that might create difficulties.

@ Safariman,
I agree with you that it will be hard to make reasonable projections in an economy like ours, but 40%  ? that's quite high. but then with the state of our economy that's justified .

for sure the police are not debt collectors and i don't understand why they are being asked to do this.

@safariman,

I agree as to why banks don't want to lend long term, but you can make projections for inflation and currency fluctuations cant you?. what i cant figure out is how the same supposedly risk averse banks speculate in the money market. it is crazy. The losses that can, and have sometimes resulted from that are huge.
The margin stock loans are certainly not prudent as they unfortunately found out.

@4play I agree with you totally. Nigerian banks will hardly give the kind of facility that will help develop the real sector, rather they were busy funding speculators in the capital market.

When all this consolidation business came up, some colleagues and I were looking at what the terrain will be like with such huge capital. we honestly expected to see more facilities going to the manufacturing sector and the like,we were sadly disappointed to see that short term lending and playing in the money market remained the order of the day.

@Oge4real, most of those loans were used to finance the purchase of shares, and in such cases the shares are used as collateral.

with the state of the capital market now, the value of those shares have been eroded and cannot come anywhere near offsetting the loans.

what does it take? does it mean different things to different people or is it universal?

As someone says there are laws to take care of such eventualities but most people are ignorant of that.
I know of some women that went to court and were not only given custody but the husband's were made to pay child support.

but such cases are rare as Nigerian women either don't like the idea of going to court, or don't know they can.

@ poster

It is possible this lady meets a need in the husbands life that your Friend is not meeting. maybe he can talk to her without being judged or they share the same interests and your friend is just not interested in the same things. She might need to do some self searching and also find out what they talk about, it might be things she do sent care about. I also agree with what has been  said by other posters she should make her a Friend.

@ Fhemmmy it was quite a wicked thing to do to them. they must have felt they were the ones with a problem since he had children. One actually had a baby while married to him. he of course new it couldn't be his, but since he was hiding the fact that he had had a vasectomy, he went along with her. the family however knew and someone told her. She eventually left him.

It was a very cruel thing he did to those women.

@ Sissy, it is grossly unfair and it caused the women a lot of pain. He did it for his own selfish reasons. which I'm afraid is why a lot of people do things.

My fathers Friend did that a long time ago. he had 7 sons and 1 daughter and decided it was enough. Funny enough he then went on a marrying spree, and the women could not understand why they could not have children, apparently he hadn't told them about the vasectomy.

My pastor said he loved dedicating Nigerian babies. He said that even though the names go on forever and he sometimes find difficulty with the pronunciation he still tries because the names have meaning and he believes that when he is dedicating them and pronouncing those names, he's pronouncing all the things the name represent into the baby's life.

its actually the tradition in some parts of the country to give the bride gold coins as dowry. this usually serves as an asset the bride keeps in the event of a rainy day. women in that part of the country don't usually work, and so the coins are a kind of nest egg they can fall back on in case of dire need. If they are able, they add to it through the years and eventually pass it on to their children.
The number of coins demanded however depends on what the groom can afford.

@poster the thing here is i don't think your frond needs the coins for the usual traditional reason's since she works and being so rich probably has a trust fund or something. she should talk with her fiance and agree on an amount that they can both be happy with. after all she's going to be his wife and will be in a position to get much more out of him then.

@Borat OMG that's intense man.