₦airaland Forum

lofty900:
Jonathan was just a front man, not really the one leading. How else can a commander in chief disburse funds for arms only for it to be diverted and he knew nothing about it

Oliviaarims:
U've just turned the whole argument upside down.



I wasn't relegating the importance of money in a relationship (or any human endeavour, in fact) to the background. I simply said if money, and other material things is the sole basis/condition for an existing feeling, then that feeling isn't love. Simple.

ronald4lif:
I feel indifferent about the bold. For whatever reason we feel one should get attracted and fall in love with a person, money and materialism is one.

We live in a capitalist world where almost everything is connected and has monetary value so for anyone to dismiss and undermine the importance of money in a relationship/marriage then they aren't only being incongruous with the verisimilitude of life but living in self denial.

For whatever reason(s) that could serve as love, be it good looks, personality, intelligence etc that could serve as a precipitation of love and ferment love, money can be one. In fact, should be one of the primary factors.

About time we start living within the realms of common sense and face reality. Money is an essential factor not only in life but ignites a relationship positively so why should we dismiss it as a catalyst for love. A lady can be attracted and love someone based on his financial prowess and the comfort he can guarantee same way another can love for variant reasons.

I refuse to believe that money and materialism isn't a factor to be considered before loving or feeling attraction for someone. And that's me being pragmatic.

refiner:
cool....and to think dat was d same year I was born......u still look young tho....I thought u would av start growing white hairs by nw

kingcurtrex1904:
Who broke your heart. Love exists. Between humans. You just have to base and start ur relationship on God and not sex. That's why u having it wrong

refiner:
1997oboy u don old ooo

AdeniyiA:
...and it's better left for LAWMA.

Seriously whenever I hear or see a marriage crashing, I ask myself, where is their first love demonstrated by these statements "I couldn't sleep, eat, or work without you by my side" , "I miss your presence every time" ,"you're my life" ,"my life is nothing without you"... etc, probably it wasn't actually a real love but lust/infatuation.

Missonas:
Did the op ever remarry?

Love does exists thats why we speaking about it today. That we often fail at getting it right is the human in us. We cant love if we dont love God simple.

UIA04:
He's probably talking from a broken heart people like the op are scared to open up to others easily I pity his wife with this his mentality
I can bet toks2008is a perfectionist what does he mean by only God is capable of love when we are created in the image of God abi has he heard of the love Jacob had for Rachel

aflyingbird:
no one is answering my question. Nlers don park their tents in Toks2008's thread, mcheeew

Vikky014:
LOL. *whispers to his ear, i once uploaded my pics and my uncle called me one day to ask if am a nairalander dt he checked a female's comment and saw a lady dt looked like me. i quickly removed my pics and told him i was not bt asked him his moniker later he refused to tell me. am hiding biko.

Vikky014:
you dont know vikky. am nt bragging bt am dt type of girl evrybody wants as a friend both male and female bc of one reason or the other. so tell me when i isolate myself by hanging out with one guy in the name of relationship which might not lead to marriage wont i be scaring other good male friends away just to b faithfulafter which we might break up and i strt a new one. the cycle continues till i hv like 12 ex bf is it nt better to be just nice to any gender by so doing one builds his or her social strata

anyway i prefer a male friend to a boyfriend and yes i will marry one of my numerous male friends

my parents era kemy mum and dad are quite young so they know whats up

finally i threat anybody as a special person both small kids thanks

ronald4lif:
Too much sense in the write up. Makes a lotta sense. I've always affirmed that there's no such thing as true love in amorous relationship. It's just a temporal feeling which exist for as long as the other person dance to our rhythm. The earlier everyone realises this and flow with the tides like you said the better.

For everyone we claim to love wholeheartedly there's a reason behind it and once that reason evanesces then the love too dissipates like vapour. If true love existed there won't be any particular reason to love or get attracted to someone, it will just burgeon without a reason and maturate in form of a latency. There's no such thing as true love, it's all about vested interest.

Vikky014:
more like tasting child birth before getting married right i shld get pregnant first to see how child birth will look like bfore i finally marry bros i no gree ooo. i love my life like this


wht is even so special about this girlfriend boyfriend thing self if not two people experimenting what married people do or am i missing something

Vikky014:
Thanks


yes u r right about happiness. @physical assault. i pray i dont meet such man cos i will just call police or army for him to give him the beating of his life any day he tries it.bfore thinking of the next action...LOL . God4bid though., i dnt think my future hubby will b a wife beater not when i cant hurt a fly

Wizkoko:
Guy, I think you watch too much film. They don't get the best guys in real life.

Vikky014:
i see marriage as a hook as a lady if am married am hooked


so hrt break means suffering and smilingif yes why r u advising me to strt a relationship then since hrt break means suffering and smiling

tommychow:
Babes keep scaring me off with that line...CRINGEWORTHY!

The idea of love is relative. The common conception is someone that makes your heart pound, gives you butterflies blah blah blah. I differ. For me loving someone are the actions you take to be with the person till the end NOT the temporary excitement you feel in the early periods of the relationship. So saying "I love you" is reassuring your partner you'll NEVER LEAVE. If everyone sees love this way, some will realise the really don't love their partner.

Mostly women are a victim of this ignorance and they jump from one guy to the other believing the initial lust or aching desire (aka "falling in love" is the TRUE LOVE. It's usually like this:

- Babe meets guy
- They have serious chemistry
- They spend time together
- Babe "falls in love" and they become serious
- A year later, babe realises there's no more spark like before
- Babe takes the frustration on the poor guy
- Babe is introduced to new guy at a friend's party
- They have serious chemistry
- Babe breaks up with the old guy
- Babe spends time with new guy
- Babe "falls in love" again...

The pattern continues till she has had 10 bf. This is VERY come with extroverted females. That's why I find them appealing for flings than serious relationship. The chill babes are usually the keepers.

Vikky014:
As an emotionally weak girl i just decided on my own with the help of my sweet mum not indulge in this Love thingy in my teens to avoid hrt attack and it really helped me a lot to understand now that love btw a girl and a boy is jst for the moment using my female friends as a case study.
.LOL am always the one to console them whn the hrtbreak thing happens atleast one of them learnt her lessons.....

It is always good to be friends on platonic level with the opposite sex whn u r nt yet ready to tie the knot. if u r nt too emotional like me u can go ahead and be in the romantic relationship bt whn the chips are down just pick ur pieces and move on

in summary i dnt believe in Today's I LOVE YOU FROM MOST GUYS. most of them want something from we ladies...just maintain ur lane let me maintain mine after all we can be friends not LOVERS... but in marriage i think couples grow in LOVE. MY MUM AND DAD Confirms it...

firstking01:
Toks, u go really get too many criterions before u settle wit woman o ...i bet ur still single, judging with ur recent write ups

Oahray:
I do not agree with your opinion that once there's truly love between two persons at any point in time, it cannot ever become something else.

Let me use the example of love between God and man you praised as the perfect example of love.

God loved the nation of Israel so much (since they were descendants of Abraham through Isaac and Jacob) that he delivered them from Egypt even through the Red Sea.

The love was mutual at that point, and Israel vowed to obey God.

Yet God nearly wiped the whole nation out shortly after when they worshipped a Golden Calf. Much later, He promised the adults older than 19 would all die off in the wilderness for their lack of faith.

Sometime later, David stubbornly conducted a census and Israelites with no say in the matter died by divine pestilence. Then Jesus finished them off centuries later by saying their house have been abandoned to them for rejecting him.

If God's pure love can be influenced by the actions of the object of his love, why not humans?

My point is, the fact that love once existed doesn't mean it always would forever. It just never fails to act as long as it still exists, but it does die. It dies when the other person eventually becomes (or maybe we just didn't notice earlier) the opposite of what made the love sprout in the first place.

wrongnumber:
I agree 90%. Especially for naija

Oahray:
Op, don't start arguing against something without a clear definition of what you think it means. Would help avoid strawman arguments.

Love means different things to different persons, and no one is born with love in his heart. If it can grow, it can die.

I think it's the overly romanticized pic of love that has got you confused. The unconditional love farce. You want to see Cinderella's happily ever after in reality, innit?

Well, think of love as a flowering plant. It's existence and survival is very much conditional. After being planted, it needs to be watered constantly or it withers instead of blossoming.

Your argument is that if it withers, it was never a plant. Does that even sound reasonable to you?

Rukkydelta:
Leave the guy alone, he is probably suffering from a heart break

HateU2:
Ki lo tan

QueenValerie:
[b]That's because they don't know what it is,it's difinetion.And that it's a verb,an actionnot just something you say./b]

HateU2:
Love is complicated. Yeah. We don't understand it ourselves. Love don't last. It's just for some months or some years. Some are lucky 2 find it while some will never find it. Some will only experience it just once in a life time. I prefer true friendship which is even scarce. So, just love yourself.

Cutehector:
I asked u a very simple question.. And u answered smth very very vague and myopic.