₦airaland Forum

IamRespected:
The basis of courtship is for both to know you are truly in love with each other, no lady should go into any marriage if she does not have an atom of love for the other

cruzita:
here to learn so that when the time comes I will apply them

IamRespected:
This is the most stupid assumption I have ever read here on nairaland

Toks2008:
I have heard many ladies say stuffs like "John loves me but i can't marry him because i have no feelings for him but I love Jude but he is just acting funny and he even told me he does not love me"

This is the case with many ladies loving a man who does not want or love them while neglecting or friend-zoning the serious minded dudes who sincerely want them.

Please as a lady,you must understand that it is not every man who professes love to you is genuine and not not all the men who ask for your hand in marriage really wants you because many guys marry for different reasons.Some want unhindered sex,some just want to have children,want someone to take care of the home front or just satisfy the demands of family members so be sure to test that man to know if he really loves and wants you as a wife for the right reasons before saying yes i do to him..

I have so many lady friends who have been in and out of affairs and i can boldly make this conclusion with no fear of confrontation that for a lady to have a fulfilling marriage, it is not about how sweet looking or romantic or rich a guy is and infact the feelings of the lady towards the man as important as it may be does not guaranty a happy marriage rather it is what the man feels towards the lady that matters.

If you marry a guy by all means because he is a cutie,rich or for any other reasons asides from his unequivocal desire for you, trust me,by the time he treats you like a poo after marriage,that cute guy you marry will look like a beast and all the money he has will be inconsequential to you.

My unbiased conclusion is that if a lady marries a man that truly loves and cherishes her,SHE IS COMPLETE but if a lady marries a man she loves and feels so crazy about but does not truly loves or desires her,SHE IS FINISHED.

My humble personal take.

AmyBelg:
That guy is a Red Flag, it's not easy to move on but think of him flirting with someone esle the way he did to you and you would find the courage.

dupsil:
Ohk guys, i would try to make this short and simple. Forgive any grammatical blunder i might make though. thanks
So this is my story, am studying a 5yrs course in the Uni and am in my finals,throughout the previous years i wasnt in a relationship, i was so engrossed with school works so i could graduate with with a good G.P, I pratically didnt have time for myself. it got to a stage that my friends started pressuring me to get a boyfriend, not like i didnt have people who wanted to date me, i just wasnt ready nor interested.
After 400l, during the session break, i was on IT and met this guy where i was working,he was working at the company too as a permanent staff though. he was so nice to me and made me feel special and loved, we saw virtually every day, sometimes after work he would drop me at home and even became friends with my siblings. he asked me out and i agreed to date him, things was going smoothly bt then i had to go back to school.
After about a week in school, his attitude changed, he stopped calling, messaging or even chatting me up, i was the one calling, messaging and chatting him up, anytime i complain about his change of attitude he would say he was just busy with work and apologise bt didnt change. when i saw that he didnt change, i decided not to call him, chat him or even message and see how long it was going to last. for a whole week he didnt call and i had to call him wen i cud no longer take it. he wasnt even remorseful, just said he's bin busy and am wondering how could you be so busy and nt check on someone u claim you really care about, i asked him if he wanted a breakup bt he said no dat he cared abt me and wud change but he still hasnt. am going through so much emotional stress and i dont no what else to do. have never asked for money from him and he's never given me anytin so i kip wondering wat i did wrong, we never had sex too. please i need romancelanders help on this issue,should i just go ahead and break up with him? am in love with him and the thoughts of breaking up hurts badly. To think that my first relationship after so long didnt even last 4month

deewhone:
Ehen... He don old reach dis

dollyjoy:
Hehehehehehehehehehe.

If your babe insist,ask her how much she is willing to add to what you have...

OGGS2000:
my wife of fifteen years left me in Lagos to work for her ex boy friend in the east. It all started one evening she got a call that she should come to take a job at the state capital. She asked me if she can go I said if you want. She did not tell me the relationship she has with the caller she said its from someone she gave her CV. She asked me to book flight for her because she will go in the morning and I did. Two days later she called that I should book flight for her to come back and I did. A day later she called that they called that she should come and resume the next day, I made another flight booking for her. When I travelled for Christmas holiday I saw she was very happy but was surprised to hear that she was paid only forty thousand naira as her salary for the month. Last year when I moved to Lagos from where we were she left a job that pays her two hundred thousand naira plus car and driver on the reason that the family should stay tougher. This got me thinking that there must be other reason for the relocation. I got a call yesterday and I was asked why I left my wife to and work for her Politian ex boyfriend if am tired of the marriage. [/b]I called her to know the relationship she has with the man that gave her work she confirmed he is her ex boyfriend. I told her she can not marry two men at a time. [b]she has chosen to be mistress to a politician she should pack out of my house.
She is begging that I should forgive her. my problem now is[b] if she can do this when I can pay my bills comfortably, what will she do if situation changes tomorrow.[/b]

igboboy3:
The way a man treats a woman is not related to her virginity. If he is a cheat, he will continue to cheat. Her virginity will not cause him to change. If he is a violent wife-beater, her virginity will not cause him to change.

Toks2008:
Every woman is excellently beautiful no matter how she looks.

I believe that every man on earth will have his specification as regards how he wants his lady to look and if you are a lady reading this,im very positive that you will fit into one of these body structures and if you look closely, you will see that each of these ladies are beautiful in their own different ways so the good news is that no matter how you look,there is a man out there who will love you just the way you are.

Don't allow any man manage you, talk down on you or make you feel second best because of your body structure and the first duty you owe yourself is loving yourself the way you are and when you try to keep fit,don't do it for any man but only do it to maintain good health.

So If you are guy viewing this,just state the best type of body type you want and make sure you get a woman with that body type as your wife to reduce the chance of lusting after another chic.

And if you are a lady viewing this, we will not mind knowing the body type you have from these lovely varieties *winks*

igboboy3:
[size=16pt]Fa . . fa . .fa . . foul!!!![/size]

Egbon Toks, this statement is incorrect

Vikky014:
NOT AGAIN!!!!!...CAN U GUYS JST LET DEM VIRGIN GIRLS RESTVIRGIN DIS VIRGIN THAT. I HV NEVER SEEN A THREAD BY A VIRGIN ADVISING MEN NOT TO MARRY A NON.VIRGIN.....SO IN OTHER WORDS A VIRGIN GIRL CANT BE KIND HEARTED AND CARINGWERE THE NON VIRGINS LIKE DT FROM BIRTHI MEAN WERE THEY NT DISVIRGINED NAWAOH

Toks2008 come oo i need ur opinion

Carnations:
Be careful that your quest for virginity doesn’t make you miss a very wonderful and loving woman. Perhaps the first thing you ought to consider is what you want in a wife, what should you want in a wife. If this woman meets your criteria of a good wife to you I’d say go for her. You don’t want to regret not marrying her. If you marry an alternate, note that the virginity qualification will end on your wedding night. Then the marriage begins. You don’t want a wife who qualifies for only the wedding night do you? What happens in the days and years ahead? The faith you avow is very much anchored on Paul’s immortal words: If any man (or woman) be in Christ, he or she is a new creature. Old things have passed away. All things have become new. It’s either you’re going to accept God’s word concerning this lady or not. The decision is yours.

http://manly.ng/nigerian-man-marry-a-virgin/
Follow Leke Alder on Twitter: @lekealde

mib:
many ladies know about this depreciating thing of women's beauty.. it just that they want to enjoy the pleasure that comes with this beauty while its lasted.[b].hot babes as you called them ain't ready to suffer in one man house in the name of marriage..so every man to its own way of life.but its isn't advisable for a Lady to marry in an thirties apart from depreciating factor of her beauty there is difficulty in child bearing compare to when in her twenties.[/b]my opinion though

octopusfreaky:
true but single parents face a lot of physchological and emotional trauma,discrimination,rejection and even some feel suicidal .. Remember there was a case of a teen that committed suicide just coz she was rejected by both parents and "bf" for getting pregnant.Many of these teens engage in such act without knowing there are other safe s**** practices. .Oga Toks2008 is not left out,,always bashing the single mums

Vikky014:
Seriously any girl dt will marry my brother will hv to tell me her moniker if she happens to b a Nairalander cos ur online personality is always the real you. kpele anyway

cc. Toks2008 cme and see oooo

Godwin10123:
How some Ladies are destroying their Marriage without knowing

If you are one of those ladies who no longer respect people who are older than you because of the things you see in social media then you can't be my friend; I will keep you at bay. Respect for ones elders is one of the cardinal principles I learn from my parents and I live by that. Many marriages are failing today because women want to be equal with men blindly, hence there is no peace on many homes.

Read this interesting eye-opener from a married woman...

When I got married, I was amazed at the instant, overwhelming sense of responsibility I felt to love and care for my husband. Suddenly, a huge part of someone else’s well-being and happiness was largely affected by my choices and actions.

Women, we need to be careful about how we are caring for our husbands and marriages. Don’t let the small stuff ruin the things that will bring you the greatest happiness in life.

Here are just a few ways you might be unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage.

1. Living outside of what you can afford
A wise old woman from my church congregation once advised: “The best thing you can do as a wife is to live within your husband’s means.”

Wives, show sincere appreciation and respect to your husband by carefully following a budget and making the most of what you have. Be wise about your finances.

Constantly complaining about not having enough to fulfill your lavish desires or racking up astronomical amounts of debt for yourself and your husband is a poor way of saying “thank you” to a faithful spouse who works hard every day to provide for the family.

Yes, you may not have enough to buy that deigner shoes or bag you’ve had your eyes on recently, but your husband will love and appreciate the fact that you honor him and are grateful for what he provides.

2. Constant negativity
You hate your hair, the messes around the house, the neighbor across the street, your dumb co-worker, the old dishwasher, and everything in between. As soon as your husband walks through the door, you launch into action and dump every negative and angry thought that’s crossed your mind.

Can you imagine having to carry that burden? Negativity is draining. Men like to fix things, and constantly being hounded with complaints makes it difficult for him to help solve your pains.

If there is one thing I’ve learned from marriage is that a good man wants you to be happy, and if he can’t help you do that, it makes him unhappy.

3. Putting everything else first
When your children, mom, best friends, talents, or career in front of your husband, you send a clear message to him that he is unimportant. Imagine having that message sent to you every day for many years. What would that do to your self esteem?

Put your husband first! Although it sometimes seems counter-intuitive and counterproductive, I think you’d be amazed to find that it’s often the key to the greatest happiness in marriage. So many couples get divorced these days, because of neglect and to a large extent disrespect.

If you choose to put him first, you will find a lot of joy.

4. Withholding physical affection
Men crave and need physical affection with their wives. When you constantly decline intimacy, it wears on them. Sex should not be used as a tool to control your spouse; it should be viewed as a sacred tool to draw you closer to one another and to God.

It is a great blessing to be wanted and needed by a loving, romantic husband who wants to share something so beautiful and important with you — and you only. Even though you might not always be in the mood, it’s worth it to give in (unless you are sick) and spend that time bonding.

5. Not speaking his language
Don’t waste your time giving subtle hints that he won’t understand: Speak plainly to him. Be honest about your feelings, and don’t bottle things up until you burst. If he asks you what’s wrong, don’t respond with “nothing” and then expect him to read your mind. Be open to your man and grow your marriage.

http://www.olufamous.com/2016/01/how-some-ladies-today-are-killing-their.html?m=1

Godwin10123:
1. Living outside of what you can afford
A wise old woman from my church congregation once advised: “The best thing you can do as a wife is to live within your husband’s means.”

Wives, show sincere appreciation and respect to your husband by carefully following a budget and making the most of what you have. Be wise about your finances.

http://www.olufamous.com/2016/01/how-some-ladies-today-are-killing-their.html?m=1

tpiar:
Not being born with a silver spoon does not give you the right to look down on people .

Pride is pride regardless which form it appears in.

Donicobone:
Pls guys I need ur best advice before I loose it all, I have been dating this girl for over 2years now, she is very lovely to be with, she's caring and understanding, I also did my best to let her know that I appreciate all her effort towards our union, we got engage four months ago and we are planing to get married this year, then our problem started when I bought her a better phone than the one she had been using, formerly she use to called me like 3 to 4 times a day, but now she hardly flash me, all she do now is chatting both day n night, even when we are together she's glue to her phone, we don't even talk much again because she's always busy with her phone, even when we have an important discussion her phone will not allow us to talk, initially I thought that maybe is because is a new phone so I gave her some time maybe with time she will change ( for where) now the phone issue is getting worst she hardly have time for me even when I call her to pick my call is a problem for her even when she pick she talks in a hurry just to continue the phone chat some time she use to stay online till 2 to 3am at night, am not jealous o, but am no longer enjoying my relationship because phone has taken her from me. pls guys am losing my mind o. I need ur advice

Richiy:
Most of your "creative writings" always tend to belittle women and point out every flaw as you perceive. Not cool bro. Not cool.

tpiar:
whatever!


save all that for your followers.

my point is, stick with what makes you comfortable without unnecessarily yabbing people all the time because they are not like you.

if it comes to eating at mama put (IE BUKA), women even out-eat men at those places, if your girlfriend says she wants to eat somewhere else occasionally, its not breaking news!


https://www.nairaland.com/1867247/empress-njamah-buys-roadside-delicacy

tpiar:
yes, he should do something about psychos like you who do not know how to converse without insulting people!

but you hate being insulted!

Nubian113:
I would find a date in nandos shameful and most black men in the west prefer to take you somewhere laid back than a posh restaurant where he has to dress up.

Hence why I'm still single. I wait for my knight who saves his pennies even; just to make me feel special. I'm guessing mama pot isn't very special at all. So you ain't getting no asss from me. Instead I'll watch you eat and tell you "I'm fine" and you know what that means