₦airaland Forum

cristweeezy:
no mind dose babes. Na deir slogan b dat. Girls wey dem papa no fit afford bicycle go dey yab young boys say dem broke. Na why some celebs prefer make dem marry foreign girls,cos dose ones sti get sense. Na why dem dey use deir destiny for rituals. I av one babe, despite d fact her BF beats her,she no gree leave d guy,, cos of money.

Leave ke?

A typical naija babe prefers to cry in an hummer rather than laugh in a 'heap car'

cristweeezy:
she like tall person and no b person wey fat,,, and don jazzy be her crush. So don jazzy na tall man.

I say the girl is brainless.

Which lady will pull down her pants to prove poo? but a brainless lady.

Infact any lady who says she cant date a poor man is definitely poor mentally and even intellectually because poverty iis relative.

A man who makes 1million a month could be seen as poor to another lady while a man who makes 100k a month is rich to another lady so ii get freaking pissed when ii hear any lady utters such trash.

qualityovenbake:
Maybe its for commercial purpose, because she has already pulled down her jeans and showed them her Unclad bum.

Please help me ask her why one of the rich men have not married her?

Brainless mofos making a fool of themselves.

She should go about with the incripton FOR SALE hanging on her neck.

You will hardly see a western lady utter this trash but can only come from some hopeless parasitic and brainless naija babes.

Even linda ikeji who makes good money wont utter this trash but can only come from brainless mofos...tarrr

Oahray:
Only your number 1 and 3 points make any sense.

Why should a guy who doesn't have any source of income be looking to add the weight of an extra mouth to his burdens? Why should any reasonable girl say yes? Just so she can be called mrs?

You should realise that there are deal-breakers for any sort of relationship. Traits the absence of which cannot be overlooked. Women also have deal-breakers. You should respect that.

Age... The age thing is personal. Some guys can marry ladies older than them, but some guys would rather die first before that happens. No one has come out to rebuke the latter class of guys for their stance. Why is the female stance on age an issue?

Anyway I think you people place too much emphasis on getting married. What's the use saying yes to these just to get into a marriage that would leave you feeling caged and desperate to escape?

Take some time to read some of the many ridiculous divorce cases springing up everyday. Some of the ladies involved said yes to these things. Years later they are screaming no. Maybe they are still better than those who get married late, no matter how good the marriage turn out.

So in your world,only guys with jobs have source of income and men who are hustlers or strugglers dont have a source of iincome.

Sometimes i wonder why people read but fail to comprehend.

So a guy who makes an average of 1k a day struggliing for a better life should waiit until he starts making 5k or 10k a day before he considers settling down with a lady shey...

Wahala dey.

Please go and google the life story of the world top 10 richest and you will be amazed at their humble beginings.

This artcle is not about few fortunate ladies who got married to one wealthy dude but for countless number of those on the other side of the divide.

missyadorable:
Lol...Am not the cause of your frustration,ok? There is something called social class! Get that into your head.As a student,i lived in a self contain apartment n drove a car,what biz do I have wt a man who lives in face me I face you n has no steady source of income,no matter how small? how and where we go even take meet sef?A man who has no source of livelihood has no business chasing women,not to talk of marriage.

You really need to learrn how to communicate intellectually.

Who is frustrated? apparently you must possess that attribute that turns me off the most in women which is low IQ. Cant you discuss like a mentally sound person without baseless attacks?

Please go learn how to communicatee iintellectually on a social platform and stop making a mess of yourself.

You must be an arrogant and proud lady to believee you can not meet an upwardly struggling guy because of your social class.smh

Even as a comfortable man i dont pray to meet your type in my dreams howbeit real life.

Sabrwahaqqo:
The thing is you fail to understand you can't just generalize on most af these things.


Anyway, how far you see is how far you think thus your conception and conclusion . So, I think I understand you too

I have come to a conclusion that many people have always seen the word "many or most" to mean all and this indeed is funny.

ronald4lif:
How can you be so much convinced that a rich fella can't rise again after a setback. Remember he started from scratch to attain the feet he once achieved and can still recover, even at a faster pace than someone who has never been rich before due to his vast experience in the hustling field. So we can't be too certain.

A vision driven guy doesn't guarantee he'd succeed. There are countless people out there who may have had vision and people thought they'd attain success but have been stagnant for years. By the way, who's a vision driven guy? Who'd admit they aren't vision driven or won't succeed in life? Everyone is vision-driven in their own capacity and it's not always the case that those who comes off as vision driven ends up rich.

Sometimes the one you think lacks direction and purpose in life ends up successful than the guy with prospect. Everyone in life confesses and belief in themselves that they'd make it in life but how many people actually do make it? Do you know how many intelligent and sharp-witted young graduates who many believed they'd certainly hit top heights but have been frustrated and unemployed for years? So what exactly does vision driven means?

Generally, most time when people see a rich fellow they'd say things like I knew that guy would make it, he was smart and focus but that's because he became rich. There are other people they also thought were smart and would succeed who are living in squalor.

Finally, let's assume there is a group of 20friends, 10 rich and 10 struggling. Let's give them 10years and evaluate their success individually. Do you think more of those rich 10guys would have been come poor while the 10 struggling ones have become affluent? What's the odds of this occurring?.

You are drifting the topic though but the embolden is well articulated and i agree with you.

What im just trying to explain is that no woman should date a man because she hopes that the guy will make it in future..infact that is a criminal act

Many Naija babes have this criminal and potentially dumb and parasitic mindset that they are with a struggling guy in order to be a good beneficiary of his speculated future wealthy status.

What if he never makes it? what happened to loving a man for who he is and not who he may become?
I think there is something fundamentally wrong with the mindset of many Nigerian ladies and until they change this appalling mindset,they will never have value in the eyes of any man whether they struggled with him or met him as a wealthy man.

Rich guys go broke and broke guys hit it big and that is just life for you so every reasonable and focused lady should never ever stay with a struggling guy because she hopes he makes it one day.Its one thing to expect progress for your man and another to patch up with a man with a dominant hope that he makes it and then spends on you. huuh!

raayah:
I am responding to this post as a career orientated and Independent woman.

1.Can you start a life with a man in one room a.k.a FACE ME I FACE YOU?
Yes, I dated a young man living in face me I face you with his parents while my family was middle class.I even sent him money when he was broke. We broke up because I moved.For some women, its not possible for them to marry such guys because its difficult for me to run into such people. Their social circle does not extend that far. Just like female Celebrities that marry rich guys, its not because they are picky. Its simply because these are the men they meet. Most rich educated men either marry their high school sweethearts or rich women.. check the statistics.

2.Can you marry a struggling man who has no regular job? A man without a job or struggling. It depends really! Are you sitting at home watching TV 24/7 or are you out there trying to get a Job or business. Also, If I bring in the income, are you willing to keep up with the housework and perform duties as a stay at home dad. A marriage is a life commitment and I will reconsider if a man will be a financial drain.
Your point about maybe his business blows or not, It does not matter. If a relationship is not working out for you, it isn't.

3.Can you have a very low budget marriage?: Yes I can! This is because I don't like being the center of attention. If you and your fiancee want a flamboyant wedding.. go for it . If you don't want it, then don't do it. People in the real world communicate!

4.Can you marry a man who loves you but is not your preferred spec?:Marriage is a life-long commitment. You cannot go into it with a person whose flaws you cannot accept. Its like going to the market to buy a shoe, you keep trying it and walking with it to see if the shoe fits! Why would I marry a man who does not fit me? The only thing i will say is that you should not be unrealistic. But if a man/woman has a major flaw that you cannot accept better to move on.

5.Can you marry a man with a wide age gap to you: Marrying someone that is Significantly older than you is not really convenient. Especially when its much younger and much older. A 20 year old woman and a 40 year old man have nothing in Common. There are usually regrets. Barring unforeseen circumstances, It's likely you will become his nurse, sexual libido will be very different. Both of you cannot retire together, his friends are way older than yours and same with their wives too, It will be harder to make couple friends, power inbalance etc.. This one is your choice

Excellent argument and ironically you just rephrased the write up because i agree with you entirely.

Sabrwahaqqo:
Till I see a report from a widespread survey, am sorry your claim remains one smelly poo abeg

You are either a teenager or in your 20s so i understand your stand-view. I am certain in years time you will remember this and say oh so its true.

Whatever rocks your boat.

missyadorable:
1 and 2: NO

3,4,5: YES

Issokay as long as you cant date a man in a face me i face you else na you dey deceive yourself.
As fore number 2 i wish you well in your hunt for a made or gainfully employed man and when you see one please walk up to him and propose marriage to him.

Sabrwahaqqo:
No.5 is lubbish of course .

Apparently you are not catching the drift at all especially when you can't back up your opinion with intelligent discussion.

I have seen many 25year old ladies turn down advances from a single 40year old guy saying he is too old for them and hoping that the 27year old boyfriend will marry them just for the guy to still be running around at 30 and at 28 she starts to cry that they are after her from the village.

I also stated emphatically that this does not hold true in all cases but i have lost count of situations that confirms my assertion.

makizee:
give her a long cold stare, put paper into the printer and leave her office...all without saying a word.



Hopefully she'll feel stupid for the rest of the day

For the rest of her life i guess.

misspicy:
Like seriously? If i didnt love him will i stay and struggle with him in d first place....
So it is okay for the guy to move on to another woman after he has finally made it because the one who struggled with him wants a pay check? Why did she struggle with him in d first place wen she had oda better off suitors,so it is okay she lose both ways

i keep saying,this is a risk i for one will not undertake,imagine if d guy i struggle with af dis kind of mindset

Honestly you are confusing yourself.

I dont the mindset you are talking about.

My point is clear...staY with a guy because you love him periiod and if u hve better suitors then take a walk.

Dont stay with a guy because u expect him to make it one day...wat if he does not make it?

jonaifame22:
Truly many naija gals are fvcking up, they don't read good books they only read novel, I was dating a nursing chic one time in benin, she took a drug which was over acting in her she didn't even know wat to do to stop it cos she was in pains, I was the one who had to tell her wat to buy! Before it stopped, thank God I read abt dat some where, truly dem dey fvck up gan, they watch movies almost all their life, then sleep, most especially the university graduates among them, instead of them to learn a skill pendn when a big job comes, they'll be like ah me no oo how can I do dat kind of job hence allowing their certificate be a source of frustration to them, they don't invest in their self brainwise they only focus on their face, ass,breasts,jus outward parts, hence leaving the brain to perish for lack of use,then when a guy tells them one small lie they'll jus believe because of their fish brain, guys are not dunce they know an asset when they see one, if u're worth more than the sugar that goes in2 ur tea, guys will know infact I can go on and on

Absolutely

Trishpat:
which means dat you don't understand what you wrote then. you implied that all sweet, sexy and curvy ladies are brainless.
you only said "most" in the second paragraph.

Uncle Toks2008 abeg read again.....and absorb.

Lobatan

When does many mean all?

Omotayor123:
So it shouldn't be reciprocated .. They say marriage is come rain come shine, And so should be relationship. You think it's a bad idea or greedy for a mouth that eat bone to eat meat when it's readily available
What is the essence of staying in the rain with some one who wouldn't allow you stay with him when the Sun shines

Very simple

Its about choice based on feelings without affiliations to his potential future fortune.

Thats the point.

When a lady stays with a struggling guy with hope that he makes it someday FOR HER TO START ENJOYING HIS WEALTH then that is parasitic,foolish and totally unreasonable.

If u wanna stay with a struggling guy do so because u love him and not because u are expecting a payback like its a service u are rendering.

i just hope u catch the drift.

ronald4lif:
Nicely written. I agree with your post but I have a reservation with the number 2 point. Here's an excerpt from the said point;

"Ok what is even the guaranty that the ones who have good jobs or business can not face hardship? many ladies have lost their chance with a vibrant vision driven man just because they are waiting to say yes to a man who has a job rather than for them to also find something doing that will make them financially independent while the guy has enough space to pursue his dreams.Believe it or not 95% of the rich or successful guys you see today have passed through a struggling face."

Like I said while I agree with what you said I feel indifferent about the embolden. Quite true a rich fellow might face challenges and financial setbacks but the possibility of this happening is way less likely than a struggling fellow having a breakthrough to success. I keep hearing this saying all the time that what's the possibility a rich won't get broke? Yes true, but such occurrence is not as possible like that of a not-to-do well hitting landmines of riches. This saying is as if 'prospect' guarantees 'riches'.

Beside, let's put ourselves in ladies shoes for a moment. Shall we? You have two guys who are showing interest in you and you have some form of attraction towards the both of them. One is rich and the other struggling but he's got prospect all the same. Who would you go for among the two? If your daughter or sister is saddled between these two choices of men who would you recommend for her?

Honest response with reasons please. And while at it be reminded that prospect doesn't always result to success. Not everyone with noticeable prospect becomes rich.

I love your excellent opinionated stands.

If im to advice my daughter i would ask her to follow her heart.

Nevertheless i will also let her understand that she can also be fin independent and must never use a man wealth as a yardstick to choosing a spouse.

A guy that has a job or in business sure have an edge but when a lady loves for the right reasons,wealth becomes inconsequential.

so yes a vision driven man is berrer than a man who is fortunate to have a job or thriving business because take away that job or business and he may nver recover but a man of vision always bounces back.

Nevertheless,the ideology of a bird in hand will always make one settle for a rich guy over an aspiring one but as i wrote,if our ladies can love for the right reason marriages will be more fun and rewarding.

Omotayor123:
True.. But suffering with a guy doesn't guarantee your future or Anything.. Tell me, where are the ladies that suffer with Don jazzy How come Olamide is skeptical about marrying the woman that suffer with him even after she bore his child
That's why I don't blame ladies who had refused to suffer with any guy.

This mindset is even more demeaning for a lady to hinge her perseverance with a struggling man on leveraging on his possible success in life.

Is it that our ladies are so hopeless and parasitic that they believe loving a struggling guy is a favour that must be reciprocated.

Abeg if any girl is not willing to be with a man for the right reason then let her start scouting for a rich guy to purchase her.

prettythicksme:
I wont remind her! some pple r born into wealth from day 1!.not all rich men goes through hard time.

Then she better starts scouting for a rich man and when she sees one she better walks up to hiim and say please marry me.

prettythicksme:
In dj khalid's voice***another one**!! i sat No to ur all what u wrote up there op

Good evening madam, long time.

Abeg if you have a daughter remind her that Dangote once sold sugar and salt in small quantity o.
Remind her that Donjazzy once fried akara and buns at a popular bus-top to survive and remind her that some millionaires today were once squatters and not even a proud owner of a room apartment.

Omotayor123:
Honestly speaking, most ladies tend to say No to those questions. We want it Big at once But life is not a bed of roses!
You have to loose something to gain something!

And that is why most ladies will continue to be used and dumped and when they keep wasting time running from pillar to post to get a husband, they should be reminded that they are there own bane.

Evathyst:
Is this another female bashing thread?


Instead of some guys to simply state their 'turng-off' in a lady, they resorted to needless bashing. Na wa o! We don really suffer for una hand no be small.


#Watching all of them guys from a palm tree#

Maka why nah? You are too pretty for this comment o.

No one is bashing anyone, just stating my turn off.

sisisioge:
Those damsels really killed it for me They couldn't just let go of figments of the memorized speech of saving the world in a pageant. Agbani Kaare!

Well, my point is that before you find out about the intelligence or otherwise of anybody, there has to be something that attracts you towards that person.

Beforee nko?

Was that not why i wrote that i would suppress my desire until i discuss with them.


Some ladies are so dumb that if a man woos them,she becomes insulting kai! some ladies no be am.

Omotayor123:
Chai... My guy is here with Another.! Make I dey observe on top my ugwu tree first..

Just enjoying myself jare.

Tobadein:
Abeg repost am make dem read am well8)

Repost ke?

CUM4WHAT:
NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE

;DLWKMD!

CUM4WHAT you will not kill me on nairaland.

Do you know that i did not even check the ID before i knew it was you lol!

Dem send you come dey follow me abi?

Continue and prepare another comment for the next thread im creating but just let me finish my points first.

Were

Its really amazing how ladies fear the possibility of remaining unmarried for a long time stretching into their late twenties and thirties.

I have seen countless number of naija spinsters visit many prayer houses to seek spiritual guide and advice just to be a mrs and while so many will quickly come out to say they are unperturbed,the truth is that deep inside of them they hope that they just find the "right man" fast enough and start raising a family before reaching their menopause age.

Many ladies do not need prayer and fasting and in most cases,there is no spiritual attack from anywhere but these ladies are their own pitfalls and the simple truth is that 90% of unmarried ladies in their late 20s and 30s have no business still remaining single.

Considering the present global socio economy siituations expecially in a country like ours,here are 5 very vital questions to ask yourself as a lady and the more you give a NO to each of these 5 questions the harder it may be for you to get a man to marry you.

1.Can you start a life with a man in one room ?: Many ladies have boyfriends who live in this type of apartment and infact they have spent some nights with him in that same one room apartment and the guy has lost count of how many times he has scr*wd you in any imaginable ways but when it comes to marriage you will foolishly say you can't marry into one room apartment.

Sorry is your second name and i strongly pity you.Most men who own mansions today started their lives in one room so if you are ok being scr*wd in one room but you can not marry same man living in one room then you are not only clueless but foolish and be ready to be dumped after he has really had you to his fullness.


2.Can you marry a struggling man who has no regular job?:Oh i can imagine some ladies answering LAI! LAI!,MBA NUNU! GOD FORBID and so on to this particular question but please let me ask you"why date a struggling guy or allow him srw you at will yet cant marry him?" strange and foolish i must say.

It is important to know that as long as that man is not lazy,his break through will come and must come.How many ladies have given up an affair because they feel the guy has no job just to realize a year latter that he is gainfully employed or he has started a profitable business and they start feeling bad for not being patient enough.

Ok what is even the guaranty that the ones who have good jobs or business can not experience a crazy turn around? many ladies have lost their chance with a vibrant vision driven man just because they are waiting to say yes to a man who has a job rather than for them to also find something doing that will make them financially independent while the guy has enough space to pursue his dreams.Believe it or not 95% of the rich or successful guys you see today have passed through a struggling phase.


3.Can you have a very low budget wedding?: Now i want every reasonable lady reading this to understand that marital union and marriage ceremony are 2 different things.

Most times when you hear words like "my guy is not ready yet for marriage" what this simply implies is that the guy is NOT READY FOR A BIG MARRIAGE CEREMONY and not that he is not mentally,psychologically and emotionally ready but because our young ladies are overwhelmed with that one day celebration,they will never ever plan any wedding with a man who does not have the money to give them a flamboyant wedding and this is one major reasons why many ladies remain single for a very long time.

Have you looked around to see many graduates still struggling in their 30s with no assurance that a job or business will come up tomorrow? Are you among the myopic ladies who get carried away by a flamboyant wedding ceremony rich parents organize for their children?

Who says you can't have a marriage ceremony with N50,000 budget where a man pays the bride price and proceed to the registry with you and when the money starts coming in you two can do another big time wedding ceremony so why put yourself in bondage of having a compulsory big time wedding before you can be a mrs? Why are you giving that guy a good reason to continue using you,saying he is not ready for marriage ceremony but doing all the imaginable things a man will do to a wife on you.

For my igbo sisters i will advice you to appeal to the elders at home to understand that the fact that few of you are lucky to have a guy pay so much or spend so much on a marriage ceremony against all odds does not erase the fact that countless number of Igbo girls are been courted but not married in a timely manner due to the high expenses involved.


4.Can you marry a man who loves you but is not your preferred spec?:Yes there is nothing absolutely wrong in having a picture of who you want and while some ladies are very fortunate to find such,many have lived in a fantasy world hoping to meet that man who has those qualities they dream of just to wait and wait until they become old waiting for an "ideal man"

In marriage there is nothing like a bad or good choice neither do we have an ideal or non ideal man but its about your choice.Many ladies want a tall,cute,rich.GOD fearing,romantic guy and its so amazing how some ladies will never shift ground and when that short caring and loving guy comes their way they hush him and start running after a prince charming that feels nada for them,what a shame.

Stop having this myopic belief that there is an ideal man out there,no man has it all and all you need to look out for is a man who truly desires and deserves you. If you like keep waiting and screening until you become the object of screening yourself. Be wise.


5.Can you marry a man with a wide age gap to you:This is one of the most dangerous mistakes many ladies make. For crying out loud, except a lady just wants to play around,i do not see why a teenage girl will be dating a fellow teenager or a lady in her early twenties will be dating a guy of just a year or two older than her because when she eventually becomes ripe for marriage, in most cases this guy is still jumping around and fulfilling his sexual fantasies.

Yes age is nothing but a number but in most cases, ladies who date or court guys with wide age gaps like 8years or more tend to end up as a wife to the guy while most ladies who at their young ages started an affair with guys of close age proximity are usually left heart broken latter in life because most guys in the 20s are probably still playing around and not even psychologically ready for marital union.

So when i hear a 23 year old lady telling a guy in his 30s that he is too old for her i just laugh at her ignorance. If you are a teenager reading this or a lady in your early twenties,i will advice that except you just want to play around,you should date or court guys with wide age gap to avoid had i known.YES THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS to this but most times my assertion holds true.

I hope these write up makes sense to those who want to see sense in it.

wristbangle:
The thing is there are cute ladies with high intelligence just that most if not all are taken.

Going for a pepper seller with good intellect is fine but that illiterate behaviour will be there as to bring her up to your taste will be quite challenging.

Just that it's a pity some Behind ladies are busy building their physical appearance while deeming away their intellect.

I once ask a pretty lady the capital of England, she told me "UK"

I asked do u know bangi moon? She said.. Yes he is an actor. #SMH#

The bold lettering sums it up.

Always talking about creams cloths,waist trainers,cosmetics and stuffs like that just to look outwardly beautiful but will seldom develop themselves mentally.

Swissheart:
Different stroke for different folks.....but then na BB sure pass

Apparently you have the first B but the second one i no know.

firstEVA:
I guess every guy has his taste and preference. Some others will chose beauty over intelligence, they need a wife they can show off to friends and family.

Yeah i agree as long as she keeps her mouth shut when intelligent discussions are going on.

sisisioge:
Na today! Everyone wants a good gene...the best the pack has to offer. Yes, intelligence rock but you need something to attract you to find out if that lady has it...attraction. Do not forget that intelligence is intangible, men are attracted by what they see first then the others can follow.


Of course, intelligent men light my bulb like killed! I totally get you.

And what is good about a gene that forms a lady who has nothing in her head to offer?

Trishpat:
dah ur first paragraph get as e be. how dyu know that the sexy girls flaunting their curves are brainless. abi it's wen yu don't have curves that ur brainy?

Aunty Trishpat abeg read again.I did not generalize