₦airaland Forum

If he doesn't know how to cook when I meet him he must be ready to learn from me. Cooking is a basic skill all human beings should have so for an adult to say they can't cook at all is nothing to be proud of.mi can't marry any man that can't cook because I need someone to take the load off every now and them . Even if he's not great at cooking at least be able to make a few basic dishes .

Onegai:
Almost everyone who told you that you brought this upon your head is married. So yeah, we know what sucking up to relatives looks like. Or do you eat from the same plate as your mother and siblings? You think your tale is new? You saw a lastborn son, surrounded by sisters and played a role you couldn't sustain. Evidence of this is in what you say. If you had been friendly but maintained your boundaries before marriage, wouldn't your husband have known that you don't like interference from his family? Now you're coming here to throw yourself a pity party.
You sound exactly like some girl I know, who was sucking up to the husband's family in order to secure her ring. When she couldn't maintain it, she started acting up and most ignored her but her foolishness made her start fighting his mum (of course everyone turned against her). She packed out of the house her MiL pays the bills for, claiming the same things you are, painting a terrible picture and informing anyone who cared to listen of greviances that never happened (not one sibling insulted her to get face or even shouted at her, they told her to please respect the fact that they are all older than her and stop insulting their mum on fb).

Hmm, are you her?

Go and speak to your husband that you two should keep your lives private and be polite to your SiLs. Shikena.

And for all you singletons out there, biko stop pretending. You're just setting yourself up for future wahala. Show them your madness so there are no surprises. My MiL likes to yab me that I'm doing certain things for eye-service and she's usually right. But at least I didn't pretend before marriage

You are far too judgmental yes many women do that but if she says that's not the case who are you to say no. Can you know better than her what transpired Not all cases are the same , she's right that it may be the child issues. There are cases of even mother in laws who liked their daughter in law until childbirth challenge and then suddenly they'll start saying she must have committed abortions or she's a witch and blah blah. Truth is in this society people love to blame women for delays in childbirth and they start to see the woman as the one who's stopping their brother or son from having a child.

MsJackson:
For those of you Who still insisted that I knowingly went into this marriage with the sisters attitude, well I can't try to convince you further. if u aren't married, then you'll know that circumstances could change people. in my case, the issue of childbirth changed them(I think ), because they were so welcoming. we even ate from the same bowl(literally and otherwise ) we were that close. God dey.

I believe you because knowing how many Nigerians think they probably believe you had abortions and that's why you haven has a baby hence the attitude towards you.

Michellla:
maternity shoot stupidity gradually becoming a norm

Why is it stupidity to do maternity shoot? Why do we take pictures of children's birthdays and such? It's a way to remember wonderful moments. Now this woman climbing on a chair you can say it's not necessary but to say all maternity shoo is stupidity is wrong. Many of these women only shared these pictures with their friends and family and it's the invasion of privacy this days that causes people to post someone's picture without their permission on such forums.

2good:
Men have been taking care of their family from time immemorial and dying in the process without complaining because they are programmed from birth that it is their responsibility. Men still take care of most responsibility in over 80% of Nigerian homes without complaining. So if you see someone who is struggling to do that, he is an outlier.

The difference is when Men do that the women take care of the home but when women pay the bills the men still don't want want to take care of the home. Of course the women will complain, why will she be the breadwinner and still be treated as if she's beneath him and he's too big to take on chores like cooking and washing . If you pay all the bills and your wife doesn't do housework won't you be pissed How can one person be the one doing everything and expected to be smiling , when she's not a Mumu

As for the topic it depends on the definition of head , if it's like the Nigerian men definition where they think they get to make all the rules then yes he has lost that right although no one party should ever even have that right no matter who's making the money. But in homes where that is the case the woman may take it while you are the one bringing the money but of course it will change when she's the one bringing it. She can't be the one Earning the money and you'll expect her not to have a say on how that money Is spent .

PMBisaterrorist:
dude wwhats up na he's denying you let's talk private ni??

What's your business with his identity ? You seem obsessed with him This is an anonymous forum for a reason.

AreaFada2:
Meme j, I like your mature response. Of course many families live peacelly, even Iya Suleman, Nne Nkechi hawking fish to feed and pay rent for her kids and her jobless hubby. Chasing sway your wife wasn't really that easy in traditional societies without very good reason until about 25 years ago. The inlaws often waded in to settle the matter. I still witnessed lot of that growing up.
At the end of the day, we should all be concerned by the increasing level of marital discord among Africans both at home and in diaspora. Especially some killing their spouse. It seems our freedom to chose own partner isn't necessarily doing the trick. I hope my friends eventually gets justice. Another friend of mine got no justice until he suddenly died. Despite his being Vought redhanded commuting adultery while pregnant for my late friend.

By the way, I am not more pessimistic than the average person out there. Have a nice day.

And your friends are saints abi? I am sure if the women tell their side you'll be shocked. Both parties are at fault it's just always easy to pick the side of one's friend or family

Orlarmie:
Ego and Men dey follow from bible so na normal thing

In any human being Ego is a flaw. Rich people have egos no matter the sex. It's okay for you to kick your wife out and say thinks like don't bring that woman into my house for maybe her friends you don't like abi yet you think it's strange when a woman does the same? Many , many women have better brains than you and that's a fact of life

Fanirandele:
You are are joke, higher in brain but she's richer than you? He he he what did you use your mumu brain for? You are also higher in brain than your female superior or boss abi? The girls that beat you hands down in school nko? Be deceiving yourself. Higher brain ko

Many thanks throw their wives but of the house so why would a women not be able to do the same? The sam way you have rude rich men is the way you have rude rich women. You guys need to grow up

God bless you jare. Too many deluded weak men in Nigeria . Better brain ko, better brain ni

The truth is most Nigerian men cannot handle a woman who's more educated or richer, he will start envying you. No matter what you do or say he'll attribute it to the fact that you think you are better. You'll end up getting turned into a doormat just so you are not accused of arrogance .

Men like that will eventually start spending the wife's money for one orange seller that he feels superior to so he can massage his ego.

crackhaus:
You know?

Have we met before?
But I don't remember dating anyone named Joy in my long list of women...


Seriously though, I never said women should put up with it...I just asked you what would happen to relationships if everyone walked out on their partners when they cheat.

When there's less tolerance for something people will start to think twice before doing it. The only reason many people will think twice before murdering someone or stealing is because of the consequences. When married men and women know what they stand to lose when caught cheating ( their families) they will think twice. Even the ones that decide to take the risk will hide it rather than the way they flaunt it here.

Men cheat with such boldness in Nigeria because they know majority of the women will take any crap and society will support the man.Things will only change when society starts to shame cheating men like they do to women and the wives develop the balls to leave a serial cheat. At the end of the day no man wants to be married 4-5 times, if he knows the wives will leave everytime he will learn to control himself.

TPAND:
Sister let me carefully give you a counsel from a guys standpoint.

Marriage without dedication and attention is as good as friends with benefits. A man would make his woman cheat on him, if he doesn't give her the necessary love and attention. If all he does his to party, club and hang out with friends. It's VICE-VERSA
Never say there's no reason for recklessness in marriage. It makes sense in context but in reality nobody can beat the groans of being in a marriage where the other partner doesn't care and show much attention to your feelings and needs.
Marriage is an institution that needs to be fueled and carefully nurtured with love and attention. I am so sure you are not married that's why your comment is like lines of the romantic novels.

Men with housewives who do nothing but cook and cater to their husbands still cheat. Abeg free the woman, she's better off without that dog

Tobium1:
Even with a nice body, fresh pucci dey man still dumps her for a ho.
Lesson: Good character, respect, love, appreciation, keeps a man

Abeg all our mothers and grandmas with good character nko that their husbands had babies left, right and centre The only difference is women are less prepared to take the crap they took . Do those men cheat with women with good character? character ko character ni, a cheat is a cheat

Since there are minors involved you should report the abuse to an appropriate NGO . The only thing is they need to starting getting in touch with their grandparents on their mothers side. That way if the father and step mother try to kick them out after they are reported or abuse them more , the NGO will be able to take them to the grandparents place. They need to have a place they can move to because that woman will be even more wicked once she's reported . So let your friend start talking to the grandparents and see if they'll be able to take them in with the help of the NGO.

Please keep us updated. Pray they get help soon

Okorieikechukwu:
Nicely? are there boyfriends? so he must beg anytime he wants his WIFE to turn him on? The more reason, gender equality couldn't pass second reading. You guys are already equal with men. We should start campaign the right of men again.

imagine what you just said.

Saying please when asking for a favor is part of having manners that is something even kids are taught. No one likes to be ordered around or taken for granted. If a man comes her to say his wife just orders him to clean her nail polish or whatever we know your response will be different.
You won't say the wife is being romantic instead you'll be telling us how Nigerian women are rude and ungrateful but here you are ignoring the same traits in the man. This typeof one sided judgment is one of the many things the equality bill will address.

bughead:
and this woman will be the one shouting for gender equality!


AL JAZEERA SAID IT ALL!


NIGERIAN WOMEN ARE PROSTITUTE

Too many gullible people here So you truly belive such will happen at a burial ground in Nigeria and people will just be standing and looking at them This is a country where people are mobbed for less o and people just stood filming we know if it was true some gbeboruns would have started rushing them with slaps and such and pulled them apart since.

By the way what does this have to do with gender equality Although you just proved our point, gender equality is bout the fact that the 2 should be chastised instead of people attacking the woman alone and leaving the man as if he wasn't involved


Clearly they are dancers paid to perform at some sort of party. i'am sure one hungry blogger saw the pictures and added salt and pepper to draw people to his/her blog

bernardette:
nawa o...that's why I ll nt go against sharia law...a least it ll still put some decency into ppl

why not move to a Country with sharia so you can enjoy it

thekingisback:
That's someone's potential mother. When I tell you guys that Nigerian girls are useless you guys are quick to come for my head. Have you seen it now?

Since one girl's action can make you come to that conclusion we can also conclude the same for Nigerian men based on the man with her. She's sha not grinding on herself abi

se the man wanted a divorce and he's the one who took the woman to court so why is he crying now she's moved on with her life I'am sure he was listening to the Nairaland type telling him no one will a divorced woman with kids so she'll come beg him lol shock catch him when the woman upgraded sef As long as the Judge and woman were not dating during the Court Case which is very possible then there's no misconduct. That she got pregnant 3months after is not evidence, all it takes to get pregnant is one time. She could have gotten pregnant immediately they started dating . He has a right to appeal concerning custody if he feels the judgement wasn't fair but him just taking the kids away from school without a court order when the court gave the woman primary custody of the kids is him breaking the law. Only thing he can complain about is custody and let him do it the right way, its not his business who she chose to marry after they were already divorced.

RiloKiley:
In the light of recent economic changes I would say your financial figures are wrong. But all in all you have a good idea of the process. One or two things though.

@bolded, not many ladies can afford said amount. And even if they could I think they would be better off using the money for more important endeavors like acquiring land, building houses, setting up businesses, etc. Why go through all the stress of freezing your eggs when you're not even sure what the future holds for u? How hard is it to get a man to love and marry u and give u kids (lol) than having to rely on a technology that in many ways has not been perfected? And where r u freezing the eggs? Our nigeria? For 10yrs? With our Peculiar conditions? Hmmmm.

All in all I still think the natural process is still the best (and cheapest) way to go.


P. S for those trying to compare the deterioration rates of male and female reproductive cells. Female cells deteriorate faster and ovaries are far more fewer than sperm. Laughably so. It's just the way it is.

Many woman buy cars for that amount so what's the big deal about using the money to freeze eggs? why would she need to freeze them in Nigeria when she can travel to anywhere with better facilities. A single career woman or man will generally have money disposal income since she has fewer dependents generally so after buying land and whatever why should't she invest in freezing her eggs. The whole point of freezing eggs is to give the woman more options so she can make the best choice for herself about how and when to have a child versus having one because time is going. After freezing the eggs she can always get a sperm donor and have the baby if in future she doesn't meet a man she wants to marry. That's what former Beauty Queen Nike Oshinowo did and she chose a white sperm donor sef so the kids are mixed race (twins). You'll be surprised by how many wealth career women have taken that option

Women are having babies later and later now. For a woman who chose to purse a career she would have been able to save money and can explore egg freezing, surrogacy e.t.c There are many options available to women these days .

Let's say freezing eggs is 3m, if it takes a career woman 10years to save that amount then i'll have to wonder what career she's pursing in the first place. In actual fact many career women use that amount to buy a few bags. You have to remember that single career people have fewer dependents than their married counterparts giving them the opportunity to save and even splurge towards things that many married people with kids can't afford.

9jatatafo:
Until the faceless petitioner or alarmist and the affected girl come forward to defend their statement this case remain a mere allegation

The only person who needs to have access to the girl is the police and i'am sure they will. The identity of minors are never released to the public in such cases.

The important is that an investigation is finally been carried out, now he will either be found guilty or innocent. This is what the school should have done from the begining rather than trying to cover things up

beautycrush24:
i didnt say barest minimum to every patient. I mean helpless cases

As he has explained the problem is not that those people cannot afford it but they are wicked ungrateful people who would prefer to use the money to throw a party than pay their bills.

Amhappy:
The only thing I have to say is ,if you feel this is right then go that way but had you ever think there may be an alternative to recover your money instead of going this way. More lives will be lost at your gate and you will fight with your conscience until you kill it. This write up is because you are pained by the death of that woman.
In some hospitals they take away the baby to a care room,mother is only allowed to breastfeed at intervals under the watch of security. Father/ family members cannot sight the baby. And everyday the charges increases.This method work in most cases. Some hospitals will ask you to send someone to work in the hospital without pay until the money is complete for the patient to be discharged.

Then you forget the emergency does not give signal. Someone may not have cash at hand but is willing to pay(everybody is not the same). There are sincere Nigerians with integrity. So if you do this then you have simply succumbed to PMB saying that Nigerians are criminals.
Dr Doc let God guide you in your practice. I pray God to favor your hospital with rich clients who will erase your sorrows of yesterday.

i get what you are saying but look at it from his own point. Is it not supplies he will use to treat the patient How will he buy supplies when people keep absconding People forget that the Doctor's service is not the only cost . If people keep owing very soon he won't even be able to buy syringe or drip so what will he use to treat anyone

Nigerians are ungrateul people. Thos talking about abroad the Doctors are able to do that because they will get back their money from insurance or governemnt. For those without insurance , even in the US they will patch you up and send you home to die. No one will give you extensive health care for free.

For you to know how bad Nigerians are they've carried that same behavior to other countries and started abusing their healthcare system. You will see Nigerians travel to go and give birth, they will have a plan to skip and not pay and would rather go use the money for shopping! Many of them showing off on social media about giving birth abroad did not pay o

There was a case on dailymail.co.uk on a Nigerian woman who skipped out on her bill, here's the heading

African mum of quintuplets let off £145,000 NHS bill: Health tourist who came to UK to give birth says no one's asked her to pay


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3214709/African-mum-quintuplets-let-145-000-NHS-bill-Health-tourist-came-UK-birth-says-no-one-s-asked-pay.html

Come and see people cursing Nigerians and can you blame them. There is no free health care anywhere, someones tax paid for that. Would anyone be happy to be paying tax for some wicked foreigners to come and take advantage And we always think being crooked is smart.

We keep talking about the government whereas the people are just as horrible

ladyF:
hmmmm the thing tire me sha. Few years down the line, when these same hypocrite guys don hammer, not even their family members go see one kobo chop from them. Yet they want to come here and tell people how to spend their money, do they know how much the girl has even given out to help people?

Why don't they save their money for subscription that they are using to post comments on NL and give it out to the poor? When their babe asks them for N100 MTN now, they will come and open thread here.

If you cannot find a way to bless people when you don't have much, you won't change when you become a billionaire. Bloody hypocrites.

Don't mind them, how much do they give to charity now Giving to charity does not mean one wont enjoy one's money. All i see here is envy , as for those talking about vanity upon vanity that's laughable because at the end of the day everything we all buy is vanity. That doesn't stop us from enjoying life

henryhemon:
What's average life? Do you know the benefits of vacations? Compared to wrist watch? Who is against anyone spending money on beneficial things? What benefit is that watch to her ? To you that people speak against it means they 're hungry,grow up.

As long as the watch brings her joy then its beneficiary to her. No matter how much one gives charity one still has a right to spurge on things that one loves. Only issue i have is her announcing the price not the fact that she bought it. No need for people to be discosing on social media how much they bought things. Those in the know , know how much it is and others dont need to know. Although her Dad owns Polo and they sell hose watches so i guess its also PR for their business.

That's why the rich are rich. She's used this to generate more publicity and business for her family buisness while poor people are discussing her and throwing tantrums

The outsider is never the cause of any marriage break up. Danjuma is the cause of his own marriage breaking, he's the one who took a vow and chose to break it. No outsider will enter except one of the couple chooses to allow it.

Angelberry:
How old will the oba be 20 Him bowing to that girl is very wrong. What's the eye service for There are things I hate doing and this is one of them. can't bow to my child. Mbanu!!

you hate bowing to younger people so don't , no one is forcing you. That you hate it doesn't mean everyone else must

meshi1990:
SIOOOR!!!
Is she a traditional ruler ?
Or is there anywhere in d constitution dat say we shud bow to a first lady.



ZOMBIE pls Receive SENSE or buy one...

Is it anywhere in the constitution that he shouldn't He did so because that's what he wanted, you do what you want if/when you meet her and leave the man alone.

Djbaka:
Mr man. Your analogy does not correlate. Fayose prostrating to Ooni of Ife is simply Tradition. Obasanjo did the same thing to.
They are yoruba men, an Ibo man has no business prostrating for the Ooni, because its not his tradition.

But this Baba bowing to Iara is out of place, first lady or not. Is it in the constitution to bow for someone of higher office? All i can see is high service and nothing more.

It's part of his human rights to bow for whoever he wishes. He was not compelled to, so its his choice. If you chose not to do so that's fine, why should anyone have a problem with what a grown man chose to do

too many jobless youths why is this a topic of discussion The man chose to bow of his own free will if you see her tomorrow dont bow if you dont want to. The mumus talking would bow sharply for the Queen of England o. Gender equality is on its way and there's nothing you can do