₦airaland Forum

I don't know the organizational structure of your coy. But this is what you should do

1) get evidence:
Buy one of those spy cameras usually concealed in a pendant, wristwatch or hand band. Record him (video plus audio).

2) put it in writing:
Write/type a sexual harassment complaint letter/memo and COPY NOT LESS THAN 3 of his superiors (eg, regional manager, and 2 others). In the letter, in a very polite language, state how the harassment is affecting your productivity.

3) on his next harassment, give him a copy of the memo. If it's a bank, he would nearly collapse when you serve him the memo. And he would ask you if you've copied his superiors. Respond that you would send them their copies if he repeats the assault again.

4) relax and enjoy your peace. If he bothers you again, come and arrest me.

NB: NEVER and I repeat never you raise your hand to slap your boss! Those people advising you to hit him have probably never worked in a large structured organization.

And finally, NEVER you disclose the harassment to your colleagues. Bosses always have one or two "ears" amongst your peers, and so they can "gauge" your next move even before you attempt it.

Trust me.

Is it dual sim?
Location?

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mizzochocinco:
your father is also lucky to carry a fat woman in his house, so why should you be appalled, when your own father is happily doing it?

After all you did come out of a fat woman, and i highly doubt she disgusts you now does she?

The issue I raised in my post for a mature discussion was EXCESS WEIGHT GAIN IN YOUNG MARRIED COUPLES and I see no correlation between that and my parents.

Read all my posts on this thread, I've maintained that being slim or average or a little above average ain't the issue, but BLOWING OUT OF PROPORTION (or tending towards obesity type 1) is the real health concern, besides others.

Since you can't stick to the topic, DO NOT mention me in your subsequent barrage of insults and disrespect for the elderly. I've not insulted anyone on this forum and I won't take any.

swituju:
it takes a married woman to talk effectively about marriage related terms.im size 14 n hubby ain't complaining.we r happy together

If you are not consciously checking your weight gain (ie if you possess a BMI of between 24-30) and tending towards Obesity 1 (BMI of 30), and your hubby is happy with it, then you have succeeded in solving half of the problems (2 problems actually).

What about the health risks of carrying excess fat? Is he ok with that too? If yes, oh! what a lucky woman you are!

womanlyke:
generalize your assertion she is also a married woman,how slim is she?

Madam do you realize that you are seriously derailing the subject of this thread?

We are discussing the issue of WOMEN WHO GAIN EXCESS WEIGHT, WITHOUT MAKING CONSCIOUS EFFORT TO CONTROL IT.

Look up the word EXCESS. Nobody is suggesting that all women must be slim or that it's abnormal for an adult to gain some pounds over the years. The issue is EXCESS weight as it affects YOUNG MARRIED COUPLES pls and stop mentioning peoples mothers. Respect the elderly!

Blessograo:
If only you know how to respect women it will bevthe last nonsense you will post, Child bearing alone has already made then put on more weight, they go to work, come back tobtake care of the husband and kids yet the husband will insult and complain that she's too lazy is the reason she's preparing food late, meanwhile through out the whole day she hasn't eaten because she's busy and due to the hunger the next food she eats gety converted and stored as sugar to help her with the next day's job and only little is digested and excreted, before you know it the kids are fighting and crying over one thing and she always has to be there to know the latest information in her home, she's always multi tasking, even the thought of her husband and kids makes her restless, yet het parents and siblings are still there to take care of, she has to please her husband's family too and she has no time to take care of herself nor notice when she begins to add more weight, she goes to church to pray for her family cos she knows her husband might decide not to go that day and there's little she can do to force him. She doesn't have time to take a walk it go to gym because she has to be everywhere like, kitchen, market, PTA meeting, family events and the littlevtime age needs to rest you open your mouth to say she's been lazy to take one stupid walk your talk from saying she's lazy will graduate to be that she's gossiping with other housewives or she's seeing married neighbor the very day you see her taking a walk just to say hi to someone. All these things they do is what men cannot do which is why most widowers die or re-marry immediately their wife does because the burden is too much for them which is why women get suprised that after all they have done to keep the family and the husband happy he sees someone else good for ONLY HIS SEXUAL PLEASURE NOT SOMEONE BETTER THAN THEM. Appreciate every good woman in your life, their size doesn't reduce the good in them.

Quite a long emotional response I must confess my dear. Melted my heart. Women go through a lot and I'm not here to bash them. I have women in my life too don't forget.

I was looking at the issue of EXCESSIVE, UNCHECKED weight gain (pls note the words in caps) from 2 perspectives:

1) health risks
2) matrimonial security

If you think these 2 perspectives are immaterial to you, then feel free to go obese. It's your fundamental human right.


Life is not always all about working hard but working smart... This is century 21. A digital age. If money is the issue in the home, get it addressed. Be blessed.

2dugged:
op I guess the best person to ask is your mother, ask her why she is fat

My mother died when I was a little boy.

I hope you are happier now with your unprovoked insult?

sinaj:
I work out too nd cnt be fat


Lol

M telling you like we wana get married

The two of you should be a perfect match then, lol. I like your maturity and sense of humor. We learn everyday.

Cc: Fash20

lordyugo:
it all boils dwn to diet,u can be busy as hell bt wit diet it doesnt matter, chk out celebrities dt are busy 24 7 bt r able to remain trim cos it all boils dwn to diet. We eat lots of starchy food

Just lunch at my staff canteen leaves me startled most times. I struggle to finish a wrap of eba while I observe a couple of colleagues (men and women alike) demolish two wraps! There's this fellow who even does three!

Later we blame the excessive weight gain on childbirth...

Person wey go fail exam must always find excuse...

WHO reports that EXCESSIVE WEIGHT is a big health risk for the family. But rather than admit and find a solution, most Nigerians would rather argue and speak big grammar...

Goggle should be your friend on the HEALTH RISKS OF EXCESS FAT, not me. BMI should always keep you folks in check, for your own good.

Closetoheart:
I pity the woman that will marry you...Ha! Igi eleera.

My wife laughed so hard when she read your post. I guess you should pity yourself rather.

DedeNkem:
The other day at a ceremony, I saw one that finished a full huge chicken with a bowl of rice and washed them down with two bottles of big stout!!

...

pippimp:
It is not an excuse but it is the reality. The major reason spouses (i am not going to single out women), don't care about their appearance after a few years of marriage is because they take things for granted. They start to let themselves go because they've gotten what they wanted, whatever that is. It is especially dangerous for women because for some reason, women don't understand the psychology of men but most men understand women. Women don't care how a man looks, as long as he can provide comfort. Which is why someone like oshiomole can marry a woman like Lara. Men care a lot about the appearance of their wives, girlfriend, etc, and when they don't see the person they married anymore they tend to drift away. Anyway, it is important for both partners to recognize this and always have it in the back of their minds not to take things for granted.

This post of yours aptly sums up the key reasons why I created this topic: for a better marriage, nothing more. But a lot of ladies are furious over the issue because they misconstrued it as a bashing thing. Far from it.

We all have women in our families and we know they must gain inevitable weight over the years. This is normal. But my post is saying "REMEMBER THAT YOUR HUSBAND WAS FIRSTLY ATTRACTED TO YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR LOOKS, SO TRY NOT TO ALLOW YOUR WEIGHT GAIN GO OUT OF CONTROL".

If he maintains that he loves you overshooting your BMI right into obesity, then how nice! The essence of this discussion is to save potentially threatened marriages.

vague:
i did not mean to insult you, sorry if you felt that way. So whats your excuse for not being rich?

COULD YOU KINDLY STOP MENTIONING ME? If you can't stick to the topic, DO NOT mention my comments going forward.

vague:
may the spirit that led you to mention Linda Ikeji remind you that Linda Ikeji is not married and you are talking about married women. She has no Nigerian man frustrating her life so why wont she look sexy?

What is your excuse when Davido was driving a GL wagon before he even got his Bachelor's degree? Your way of reasoning is very unproductive and very dangerous for any babe that is serious with her life. A shameless man like you will knock 30yrs and will still be calling oga landlord to extend the due date for rent. Get ordinary common sense and make money, you no go gree!

I think at this juncture you have to watch it cause your tongue is getting really loose and insulting. I earlier thought we were having some mature discussion here. What are you quarreling and cursing me about?

When has a mere online debate become an avenue for personal attacks and insult?

pcguru1:
I took my time to read your question and proceeded to check your previous contents, then sat down for a long time deciding on what to say, but i realized you are not probably not married or matured enough, and it's not a bad thing.

First you failed to realize that even the men too, add weight not just women, but i guess your purpose is to attack women so that part would be insignificant, then you say women are to lazy to do exercise, you do realize in this economy, your average married woman is working a 9-5 job taking care of the children and also the husband and you are saying she should add an additional exercise, also you do realize that when a woman gives birth her body changes and it will never be the same, but oh no you are comparing a married woman taking care of children and the husband with a young girl who knows nothing about family responsibility.

By the time you read this out loud, you will understand how you sound now ? Take care be nice to women they go through alot fvcking b.ullshit, the last thing they need is another bashing thread on NL especially from single peeps who know nothing about marriage

If I tell you how long I've been married, and how trim my wife is even after child bearing, and her schedule in her workplace and also her exercise regimen, you would swear that I'm not a Nigerian. Maybe I got some of my values from having lived overseas and seen how extremely busy working class couples, work so hard to stay sweet and sexy. They jog on the streets at any given opportunity. They obtain gym memberships.

The problem with people like you is that you live a life of burden. "Oh the kids!" " "oh the cooking!" "Oh the stress of being a family man or woman" And I ask you, are you the first married man in Nigeria?

ahamonyeka:
working out what?if am on her doing the press up is it not work out?

Omg you are so funny!

abike12:
Nope it's not a crime. Since your response is calm, I'll add that as people get older their metabolism slows down, mid-age weight gain is real. Specific hormones make it worse in women than men, that's why if you know any older women that never got married or had kids they also get bigger. Of course exercise can combat it, but the predisposition to gain weight as you age has little to do with marital status.

Pleas go back to my post you mentioned and take note of the words in caps. Once again, we are discussing EXCESS WEIGHT here ok?

vague:
yes the very same i do not care attitude you have towards your bank account. While a small boy like wizkid is driving ferrari and aston martin, you find a lazy 30yr old man, taking bus to work making noise about marriage! Its really irritating.

When the wife starts taking off her ring and hanging around Alhaji in hotel rooms they will scream "hoes ain't loyal" when its their laziness that pushed their wives into another man's arms.

This your way of reasoning is very unhealthy and dangerous for your life. I'm just advising you. The spirit which led you to mention Wizkid should have reminded you of Linda Ikeji... Abi she no get vagina like you?

MissRike:
Nah, not a new moniker. I just joined today although I've been following the gists on nairaland for over a year as a guest.

Oh that's nice dear. Good to have you here. Have fun.

owagbeba:
Don't other women in other countries go through pregnancy and childbirth too?

The truth is our women overindulge in eating the wrong kind of food; and they rarely exercise.

Don't mind Sinaj lol, a Nigerian would eat one full bowl of pap with fried dodo and 3 fried eggs in the morning, 3 wraps of eba or semo with egusi soup at lunch and two plates of white rice and pepper soup for dinner, each meal washed down with tall glasses of chi exotic juice, but still blame their excess fat on "childbearing"...

Always looking for excuses to be lazy...

Wake her up for a Saturday early morning jog (30 minutes) and she will complain.


Our food is just too delicious we can't stop cooking and eating at every given opportunity.

abike12:
Question for the poster, how are your female family members both young and old after marriage? To hate your kind is to hate yourself. Also, you don't see us complaining about your skinny banks accounts so please shift. If you have enough money, give your wife for lipo let me hear word.

My two married-with-kids sisters are still in shape. Very active ladies.

And please no one is hating nobody. We are just having a healthy discussion here, everyone has a right to be obese or as slim as a rope. It's not my life. As for me and my household, we know that with EXCESS body fat comes more health issues over time...


Don't twist the discussion: I'm not talking about the little weight women gain from childbearing, which of course can be eliminated over a few months of SPECIFIC exercise, I'm talking about EXCESS WEIGHT or BLOWING OUT OF PROPORTION.

Lastly, since you mentioned "skinny accounts", is it a crime if you as a woman have an "obese" bank account to take care of your body?

liljboy:
It maybe the way you dress or make up, but If you know what attracted that person to you, don't stop doing it when you get married.
- @iremainslim

W O R D.



Only the wise shall heed to this.

iykedare:
Another lazy girl. So you need a fat account to be in shape ?

People like you deserve to be cheated on.

Lol.

JustHere2Observ:
This is a typical thread for a man looking for an excuse to cheat on his wife. If only you know that growing fat is not the worst thing that could happen then you will understand marriage is more than just having a pretty wife with tight body.

Listen, it's given that as people grow older it becomes increasingly difficult to shed off weight. This is why this topic isn't focused on the inevitable weights that men and women gain over time. The key focus is on women WHO BLOW OUT OF PROPORTION. Take note.

You know the people am referring to. Not all married women. Talking about those lazy women who enjoy having house helps who do EVERYTHING for them in the house, while they sit around and watch African Magic while issuing out commands like an empress.

If you are of the view that a woman has the right to eat 8 times a day, and get shapeless because she has achieved her dreams of marriage I think you are simply playing with fire.

martineverest:
*laziness:they all want househelps even when they are full-time housewives.

*Dey dont want to excercise: they all want okada drivers to drop dem inside their bedroom...


*Too much food

Serious matter.

sinaj:
lemme tell u something,

Ur stature contributes to it.

There are some persons that has this hidden fat in them(i cnt remember what it's called) they have the tendency to get fat.

And that tendency can be triggered by their environment, which could be food and some persons childbirth.

Now some women are naturally slim, evn after childbirth, their slim is still intact.

Why some get fat after childbirth.

I also learnt that girls that put to birth very early, btwn 16-24 easily go back to shape after child birth.

It happens naturally (av also noticed it too)

Don't be decieved by celebrities. Most of them do liposuction after child birth to keep in shape.



Exercise also helps in keeping back to shape, but it's not magic. It works over a lng period of time.

Beside everybdy's body is nt d same.

While it works for some persons, it doesn't for others.

You've made a lot of sense.

liljboy:
MY BROTHER, THE THING IS THAT 95% OF NIGERIAN WOMEN SEE 'getting married' AS THE BEST ACHIEVEMENT, AND WHEN THEY GET MARRIED THEY FEEL THEY HAVE FINALLY WON THE WAR, FORGETTING THAT YOU HAVE TO DO THINGS THAT WILL STILL HAVE YOUR HUSBAND'S EYES GLUED TO YOU..... SOME WILL LEAVE THEY WAY THEY MAKE UP, DRESS, THINGS THEY SAY OR DO THAT WILL HAVE THE MAN RUNNING TO HER ARMS.... TRY AND BE FREAKY AT TIMES, it doesn't make you a slut for Christ's sake... WEAR SOMETHING SEXY IF YOU KNOW IT'S ABOUT TIME HE'LL BE HOME, OR SNAP AND SEND A somewhat NAUGHTY PIC TO HIM WHILE STILL AT THE OFFICE, he's your husband, WHEN YOU DON'T SPICE THINGS UP LIKE THIS, ALL THESE HOES WILL DO IT FOR YOU.

All these things you've advised here would appear like trash to some ladies and by the time they realize themselves it's too late.

When a man begins to see his wife as a mother or older sister, be rest assured that he's found some shapely, vibrant seductress out there who's making his fantasies come true.

Cherlene:
Oyin, you no AGREE with OP
Cherlene

I tire o, e be like say she dey on the "large" side of the divide.

Oyind17 abeg o no pun intended o. And I'm not generalizing.

Cc oyind17

MissRike:
Sure........ I'm seriously waiting!

Sounds good. But you know it won't be an interesting topic because it's not really widespread as the case of our blessed womenfolk?

Btw you joined NL today ni? Or just a new moniker?

MissRike:
Hahahahahahaha.......not really but in some cases, you see some men blow out of shape after marriage too and that's because of their wives' delicacies.

Ok "delicacies" hmmm. But shey you know that the male aspect of the matter is a topic for another day?