₦airaland Forum

@ poster,

I'm really curious abt ur personality cos i really cant phantom why u would rate an animal (dog) more than a man. It's so ridiculous!!!.

pc guru:
SexyL KINDA suprised at this topic.Oh well everyone's got thier opinion but i know i'm far better than a Dog.Darkpcguru

like he rightly said, u are entitled to ur opinion but i'm sure there are still few guys around who can fulfill ur dreams more than u can eva imagine (more than a dog i'm sure). Maybe they've been eluding u but that doesn't mean they dont exist.

try getting one.

Realestdude:
Hello nlanders,i'm in a relationship right now & my gf makes it seem as if it is my sole responsibility 2 take care of her hair do jst b/c im dating her.Fellow nlanders,what do u think.Is it really my responsibility?

i will say no. It's not a responsibility but a favour we (i mean guys now) give from time to time. It's somtin i do once in a while and my babe appreciates the gesture a lot.

if she's making u feel like it's a responsibilty, then sit her down and make her understand that her is one of her body parts that needs to be taken care of whether she has a b/f or not. You wouldn't have asked her out in the first place if she wasn't looking good or if she had left her hair 'UNKEPT'.

all u need to do is to change her orientation and belief that it's ur duty.

bro, i aint saying u shouldn't do it oooooooo. it's sometin we should do once i a while to profess our love.

take kia.

true seeke:
o boy try stop that thing,ehen i beg try call this babe Rachel i tell her say u go call her and say u wan see her b4 she go back,say make she tell u when she go come may be this sunday,saturday is out of it cos she say she go dey busy this saturday. try and call her now and get back to me

aiight!!!

could u pls send her number?

chiejik:
must you chart publicly hhh?you do not see meebo or anyother site to chat nonsense

woman, what's ur own? who invited u in the first place.

u dont hav to the nasty, u can kindly make ur comments or keep mute. thanks

true seeke:
nothing i go soon comot say by 3.30- 4pm otherwise i go spend all the money for my hand on transportation or what do you think .ur guy the hungry serious for here, try send something come make i chop

I will send something.

a kiss from grace

true seeke:
omo i no comot i just dey here ooo

why?

hope no problem?

does it mean u will be closing late today?

ThoniaSlim:
Based on your gender (Your Male) So I'm presuming your gay?

i guessed as much!!!

true seeke:
how far

i dey

wat's cooking? u no comot?

sorry, i didn't reply on time

iice:
[color=#9900ff]If i'm still good friends with my ex and if i'm good with his fiancee.[/color]

is that possible? i mean with his fiancee?

iice:
[color=#9900ff]Depends on my relationship with him and her [/color]

how do u mean? can u be more elaborate?

really, u can't stop someone (guy/babe) from talking about their ex if the break-up is till fresh but it shouldn't be a regular thing. When it becomes a day-to-day thing, then somtin is wrong and it simply means the person is not "LETTING GO" of the ex and anything could happen if the ex shows his/her face again.

so, i will advise u study the guy seriously and make a decision quick, that is "whether to stay and make him forget his ex" OR " u call it quits and wait fo the right guy to come" (that could be a painful thing to do but it;s worth it)

best of luck

chaircover:
I am assuming that you and your ex are the opposite sex.

So, you are saying that your ex who is a female is asking you to be a groomsman (or have you been asked to be the bestman?) at her wedding.

Now does that sound right to you?

Surely you cant be the only one with groomsman qualities in the whole of her state.

nice reply!!!

i really don't understand wat u will be doing on the train, cheering them up i guess.

bro, it's a ridiculous thing to do. My ex once asked me to do such a thing, not myself particularly, MY PRESENT BABE for that matter. Told me she would love my present hearthrob to be on her train which i vehemently refused. i didn't even mention it to my girl cos i know whe wont buy that idea a bit.

kindly tell her to cut the crap and that u will only do her a favour (that's if u guys parted way amicably) by gracing the occassion.

shikena,

biblically, it's not ideal but we all know that one can't take chances these days.

my answer affects both folks (guys and babes i mean. As guys are trying to check out the fertility of ladies, ladies are also entitled to do thesame thing.

personally, i support pre-marital sex (i mean pre-marital pregnancy) so as to confirm the fertility of the lady in question.

Most homes are broken today due to the inability of the couples to produce babies. So, some people takes this pre-marital thing as a "CHECK". and i dont blame them.

Frankly, i will advise everyone to stick to their beliefs but, if we are to follow the word of the bible to the letter, then pre-marital sex is forbidden.

there's a saying anyway: "different strokes for different folks"

Guys in the house,

i understand ur exasperation and frustration abt demanding and money conscious ladies but this poster aint sounding like the type.

i want u to understand that giving in relationships (no matter how small it is) is a way of professing love, affection and care to ur partner. The poster is right to expect gifts from her b/f. (it's not out of this world). Dont forget that she mentioned they've been together for 2yrs and no 'sinlge gift' to show for it. Men, that's ridiculous!!!

I think we should give credit to the lady for waiting this long b4 complaining (that simply shows she's not the demanding type) and dont forget ladies love to show off wateva their b/f's buys for them but this poster aint got nothing to show for a 2 year old relationship. That's odd, really odd hence, the poster's belief that the b/f is probably spending on anoda lady or he doesn't love her for real.

@ poster, i understand u perfectly. I know how happy and excited my lady gets anytime i buy her somtin (no matter how small). I blv the best person to answer your question is YOU. U guys hav been together for two years and i blv u should know quite a lot abt him. U can as well trash things out wit him. make him understand that it hurts you that he doesn't shower u with gifts and u will love him to change. See, there's nothing wrong in buying ur guy gifts and also expecting such in return. It's a way of professing love.

Like i said earlier, talk to him abt it and hear wat his reply will be

Best of luck.

walestar:
Babes:What will you do if you find your boyfriend having sex with your bestfriend live and they are still naked /what will you guys do if you find your girl having sex with your bestfriend live too. this is what led to my ex girlfriend break-up with ex lover.when she told me this, I almost laugh but I tried to pretend not to laugh

God forbid but let's be realistic, things like this happens hence, my answer below (fron a guy's perspective)

it depends. (i mean the level of the relationship)

if its' a bf/gf level, then i will call the relationship off cos it simply shows the kind of wife such a lady will make. I really wont make trouble with my friend cos i expect my g/f, someone i trust so much, share with and planning to settle down with to know better.

Come to think of it, it also says a lot about how healthy the (sexual life) relationship is cos there is a possibility somtin pushed her into it. i mean maybe the b/f aint satisfying her as he should and she's trying to get it from someone else (though that does not explain why she would do it wit the b/f's bestfriend).

On the other hand, if it's marriage related, then a lot of things must be considered (most especially if the couple have kids). Most guys will opt for divorce almost immediately but going thru the divorce process and breaking the family could take a toll on the kids.

Conslusively, like i said earlier, it's not somtin anyone will wish for irrespective of the level, so we should not rely on our human cabability while searching or choosing a partner. (we need divine help)

the poster is not saying anything to clarify issues.

why is he just keeping quiet?

@poster, u r getting people confused here and we cant help if u aint replying these mails.

kindly reply and elaborate more on this problem of urs or this thread should be considered closed.

darqly:
I've told her i want to marry her,but she insists i have to convince her mother.Isn't she supposed to do that wit me?at least give me a headstart in de process?

that response sounds childish to me.

maybe we should inquire from the poster wat the girl/lady's age is before drawing conclusions.

@poster, hav u guys been seeing each other for some time (i mean dating) or u just came up with a spontenous decision to marry her. if it's the latter, then the response is not out of place but if it's the former, then u hav to answer my earlier question (agewise i mean).

[quote author=Tudór link=topic=291288.msg4122037#msg4122037 date=1246522192]She's definately being traditional, thats the way marriage was done in the old days, Then you had to approach the parents and ask for her hand in marriage. Girls were never allowed to initiate marriage talks.
Obviously that's the way she's been brought up, try and do as she requests then move on from there. . . [/quote]that's the old way of doing things but not in the twenty somtin century we are in and we are mandated to move along wit it.

a lady is expected to show interest after she's wooed. meeting her parents shows u guys are moving to the next level and u r establishing ur commitment. Wat i'm saying in essence is that one is not expected to meet the partner's parents if u aint sure of wat the future holds (for the relationship.)

so, this is kinda complicated

[quote author=Tudór link=topic=290613.msg4123627#msg4123627 date=1246540087]@walakolobo
Absolutely. I love photography,its my fav hobby. I prefer analogue cameras though, digital photography just makes people look air-brushed and fake. Thats why i chose the name ''Tudor" after the famous old cameras [/quote]at last, u sound more of a humorous and fun-loving fellow though ur previous mails didn't potray that. (u sounded as if u were all out for a fight.)

TheSeeker:
@Tudor

Women have feeble minds and often lose control of what they say, men are regarded as classical and know how to maturely control a situation so it doesn't result into a moral mess. I get your point though, sorry for what she may have called you, I believe she was just upset and expected a better advice from you. No offense intended.

like he said, u dont have to take wat the poster has said serious. i'm sure she didn't mean half of them. she's only reacting based on wat she's going thru. Will love it if u could finish wat u started (i mean declaring a truce).

u only declared a truce with the seeker, why not declare a truce wiv the poster as well so that u can prove to her u meant well but u were misinterpreted.

it will be a nice thing to do.

luxoire:
show him love ke? he bullies her and hold on to her stuff and some ppl are telling her to show him love?

which kind love? holding on toher bank cards and passport? even if he got them for her - are they not in her name?

Look @poster - if you are ready to get rid of him - call him and tell him politely that he should return those belongings with your personal info on it. Give him 7days. If he doesnt you have 2options.

1. Go to the police and report them stolen - taken and kept by someone other than the owner without your consent

2. Cancel the cards and the passport and - report them stolen to bank and gov't and ask for new ones to be issued - let him eat those ones in his possession.

Na by force? - if a girl no want do again, leave her - dontpersecute her for expressing her mind!

If you enjoy being punished - continue going back to him and begging him - then he would know you really have his time and he has 'control' over you. I am sorry but for some men, it is all about knowing tehy have their woman under control no matter the circumstances, they blow the whislte and she jumps

break free - it is not a healthy r/ship and if he wont try to change his habits or reduce them for you, and you are not prepared to put up with it any longer - then it is only fair that you can leave the r/ship without feeling like he is out to agonise you

u sound like the violent type.

wont u feel ashamed reporting ur b/f (i mean ur dirty relationship) to the police or govt.
They are not even legally married for christ sake. No law enforcement agency will want to go into such things. Moreover, the poster never mentioned any case of being bullied, beaten or harrassed. (so nothing to pin him with). Just that he ignore her complaints, keeps doing wat she does't like and recently seized her items.

sounds like the poster still hav feelings for the guy and will take him back if he;s ready to turn a new leaf. No matter how sour a relationship goes, no one can bear it to see his/her ex wallow in pain or suffering (exclusive of exceptional cases). The poster might not want the guy again, but she wouldnt want to see in police custdy due to the fact that she once loved him.

@poster, u said he knows how to qoute the bible. Knowing the bible and living it are two different things. i want u to know that though u hav tried ur best to change him and he's not yielding, but there's still somone that can change him which is God. Just trust him to take control and like i said, try trashing things out wit him and inquire for reasons why he seized ur items.

that should help.

izeek:
i suggest u call him and tell him u want ur things back cos u wanna move on.
if he refuses, then go to the family.
if they too are no help, go to hi work place, thats if he works.
embarrass him, whatever will make him give u those stuff back.
and if finally he acts like the prick he sounds like, go to the police.

and moreso i wonder why u stick with some1 whose's habits u find annoying.
where u hoping to change him?
ppl dnt change in r/s, they get worse.

that wont be a nice thing to do cos some work place dont allow such.
Wateva domestic problems u hav should be resolved at home and not in the office. So, advising the lady to go his work place might blow up in her face oooo cos she might be embarassed and escorted out by security (my work-palce for example)

and i wouldn't want us to be quick in our judgement , we dont really know wat the lady did and we all know (i mean guys now) how frustrating, pushy and annoying ladies can get.

ammamat:
did he get thm for you?
if he did then let them be, but i dont understand his actions though.
moreso what did u do for him to take those steps?

i suggest u get his family involved, let them talk to him, and if he refuses, get the law involved.

@Izeek
Nope,
I always complain about his action like keeping late, drinking and smoking.
I don't nagg but i talk to him in a polite way, has a matured person, thinking that he will limite the intake of alcohol and cigarette, he knows too well that i don't like it, but he keep on doing them,

His family is not aware of what is happenning, but if he refuse to returnd my stuff that is when i will let the family in.

has he been doing all this b4 u met him? or he just started. If he has been doing it b4 u started dating him, then u dont expect him to change overnight. IT TAKE TIMES.

but if he's just starting, then u need to find out wat pushed him into it and the best way to go about it is not by COMPLAINING but by showing care and making him understand that wateva issues he has can be discussed and sorted out.

SHOW HIM LOVE (at least he's not new to u, so u should know how to handle him).

wat i'm saying in essence is this; somtin must hav pushed him into taking possession of those items. Maybe ur attitude towards him (lately) has changed and he's feeling insecure that u might leave him (because of ur complaints).

B4 inviting his family into this, why not sit him down and trash things out with him.

best of luck.

coffri:
Tosyne, You are the first to make me SMILE today, Thank you

u are welcome.

[quote author=Tudór link=topic=290613.msg4122126#msg4122126 date=1246523394]How'd you know i shag everything in skirt? Did i shag you or your sister??
Face it, you're the crazy and insane girl who made the guy seal his heart like the swine flu is coming.
If you take igbo and sepe thats your problem, Just don't high before coming on NL.[/quote]Man, u hav to take things easy, cut the lady some slack now (considering wat she's going thru). wateva she says, dont take offense cos she's hurting at the moment.

coffri:
@ all pls how can i get a good counselling centre around Lagos.

the best place on earth to get the best counselling is the house of God. If u are a xtian, talk to someone in ur church (not necessarily ur pastor) and if u are a muslim, then go to the mosque where worship. WHY? we are all human and we all hav our shortcomings. so, we all rely on heavenly help to make the right decisions in life.

best of luck.

i agree with u all

u protect and guard wat u value/cherish jealously!!!

if ur partner/spouse aint a bit jealous over u, then it's advisable one take a walk from the relationship.

LOVE moves side by side with a lil' bit of JEALOUSY

TheSeeker:
Yes! She sounds so 30ish to me and a woman in that age range can't be a virgin unless something is unusually, scarily and metaphysically wrong somewhere. Or rather she's good at faking to be in her 30ish when she's less than 20, either way, she makes a good impostor.

that sounds too harsh,

wat could she have done to u? wateva it is, just keep it cool

aiight?

Gabry:
U guys are being ignorant. Have you ever thought that Ibkaye might be a virgin or dont have a bf? Does every bf and gf have to end up having sex? Not everybody is as Hot as you guys abeg!

u could be be right but she doesnt sound like one.

chaircover:
I’m not being funny but he is damaged goods.

He has fallen off his horse and not willing to ride again.

I want to believe that everyone has at some point in their life have had their heart broken; that shouldn’t stop us from loving again.

He has told you that he is unable to love again, so what else are you waiting for? Life is too short to be in a relationship where its costing you too much emotionally to manage talk less enjoy.

If he knew he wasn’t quite ready to love again, then he shouldn’t be in a relationship with any woman. That is selfish & unfair.

chaircover:
@poster, it seems you are prepared to hang in there.

How you want to nurture a healthy relationship that is only one sided beats my imagination

Why you also feel you only deserve and are worth to be with a man you love but he doesn’t love you in return also beats my imagination

But all the same I wish you good luck.

sounds like u've neva been jilted/heart-broken or perhaps u hav a heart of stone. If not, u will understand the meaning of HEART-BREAK and u will know it's not somtin u laugh over.

coffri:
@ Chaircover, I like u so much. Do u know that i always luk forward to ur reply each tym i post.

I just want to put it in prayer, its not easy for me. I ope u understand.

cant even understand Y he keeps buyin gift for me of late and he has always said this word" u will always be my PRINCESS" cos thats wot he calls me.

dont know if i sud return his gift.

@ Chaircover, this is xactly his words" If u can, I cnt go thru a day without hearing 4rm u" and also i dont want to loose you,I CANT LET GO!".
This is wen i refuse to take his calls and reply his SMS.

u cant understand wot i m really going thru. cos m not the type that keeps many guys. dont know w to do that.

this is really HURTING and KILLING u know.

i understand the hurt and pain u r feeling but 'not picking his call" aint the best way to go about this. This simply means u r pushing him away.

Pick his calls, reply his messages and buy him gifts if necessary, these are simple ways of giving him hope that true love still exists. Dont be too pushy and dont look too desperate cos blv me, guys dont like ladies that are desperate. (I for one) Just be urself and be hopeful.

best of luck.

dvirgin:
Thanks, But pls i need to free myself of this guilt what do i do

The first thing u need to do is to STOP crucifying urself and free ur mind of SELF-GUILT.

There is nothing bad in wat u've done and dont 4get u can only date someone who is ur friend.

Since she said she doesnt have feelings 4 u, keep on being her friend and giv her some time, maybe she will come around.

and if she doesnt, look for someone else to love cos U CANT FORCE PEOPLE TO LOVE YOU.

best of luck.

ezinne1212:
Answer that question, and you'll know what you should do.

As for a lady not knowing if she's a virgin, not all ladies bleed, and because it's common for people to assume you must bleed during your first time, it makes a woman uncomfortable if it doesn't happen simply because most guys don't understand why. However, it doesn't make her unsure if she's a virgin because she'll know if she slept with someone, i doubt fingering counts.

That's very correct!!!

Bro, the pain she felt was because she had never experienced such b4. Speaking from experience, virgins feel and react to pain with the slightest touch (i mean down there).

Can a lady be a virgin and not sure??[/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000][color=#990000][/color]

due to inexperience, it's possible. Right from childhood, some parents instill it in their daughters dat once a man touches u, u become pregnant, used and dumped. Such kids grow up with such beliefs.

Wat i will advise u to do is this; keep ur faith alive, both of u hav come a long way, dont allow doubt and disbelief to destroy wat u hav and DONT try to do it until u r legally married (since that's wat u both want). Tell her u love her irrespective of wat has happened.

best of luck

ibkaye:
Yes, in terms of religion is bathing with someone you are not married to good?

i aint saying that sister.

sir t:
If u are legally married, then u are free to do anything.

i'm only sceptical about the "anything" mentioned above. For couples i mean.

Wat i'm saying in essence is this, "can u give "anything" or demand for "anything" from ur spouse on the basis of marriage"

ibkaye:
In terms of sexual acts I am presuming

u r too presumptious my dear!!!!! dont 4get we are talking about moral and religious beliefs

sir t:
If u are legally married, then u are free to do anything.

awaiting ur response,

obxddon:
Please I need your help oooo

I am Guy of 30 but have boyish looks,I don't have any serious relationship just flings that last for some time.Now I met some one online last month and we chat almost everyday, she likes me a lot even not seeing me face to face and I also like her but not as much as she likes me.
Now she wants us to meet and she is talking about marriage between us.We call and talk always on phone and on line.Now the problem is this she is 4 years older than I am and I don't have any flair for her at all and I want to tell her that we can not get married but its kind of difficult for me to tell her the truth.

Please how can I tell her that I cant marry her and that she is too old for me, because the whole things is up her head, I don't want to hurt her, Can some one tell me a nice and technical way of doing this pleaseeeeeeee

Man, the earlier, the better for you oooooooo

and it aint advisable to wed someone that's older than you are (since ur mind is already made up)

Just make her understand that she's a nice person but not the girl/lady or woman of ur dreams and wish her all the best.

best of luck.