₦airaland Forum

I was having a gist with some babes yesterday when they started making fun of how make awkward approach and this motivated me and therefore, led to the posting of this article.

I know that many of us will never admit to see a part of ourselves guilty of these things

Warning: The fact that you could admit to see a part of yourself guilty of charge does not mean you should throw punches at me oooo

Lemme keep the ball rolling

10 Hilarious Cliches Nigerian Men Use To Woo A Lady

1. Your face looks Familiar

This is the commonly used punchline that guys use to approach ladies and grab their attention. Take for example, if a lady schooled at Uniben and the guy that wants to approach her schooled at Lagos State university; the guy will be like; please excuse me, your face looks familiar, are you a law student at Ebonyi State university? From there, convo don start be that

2. Has anyone ever told you how Beautiful you look?

Since ladies like to be flattered, therefore, guys employ all sort of exaggerations when approaching a lady just to her attention. When ladies are being flattered, this will however reduce their chances of being bashed

3. Are you an okro Seller? How come you keep Drawing me Closer?

As funny as it sounds, I have used it to approach a lady. The guy will walk up the lady and will be like, do you sell okra at all? cos I don't just know why my heart keeps drawing close to you each time I set my eyes on you

4. Can you spare me a Minute of your Time?

Even if the guy intends to spend two hours of her time, he will always say he only demands one minute of her time. This punchline normally work when the lady is in a hurry. Don't be surprised that the one minute may turn to five hours if care is not taken

5. Please can you direct me to my Destination?

Some guys will pretend as if they don't know their destination and will use that as a leverage to approach a girl. For example, the guy walks up to the lady and he'd be like; hello! Please I'm going to Ekiti and don't know the right route to take. Please, how far is it? is it possible I trek from Ikeja to Ekiti? Oga go sit down jawe

6. Do you Stay in this area ?

I'm guilty of this one since I don't know how to approach a lady. This reminds me when I wanted to woo a new occupant in our house sometime last year. After few months of shyness whether to approach her or not. One day, I took the courage to approach her and I was like, " wooow!! I never knew we had such a pretty lady in this compound" I further inquired if she stays in this area and she was like whatdafcck !!! Haven't you been seeing me?

7. You are too Pretty to be walking under this scorching Sun.

This statement is used when a guy is driving and spots a lady. This is to blow a lady's mind and make her look like a goddess. The guy would be like, hello angel, you are too pretty to be walking under this intense sun. Can I give u a lift?

8. God Said you are my Wife

This method is used by religious zealous. Since they walk in realm of the Holy spirit, they often see revelations of the future happenings and this is not limited to future happenings but also their future wife. When the Holy spirit shows to them the picture of future wives, they will go directly to the lady and will tell her that God showed to me that you are my future wife. Funny enough, some smart guys who don't even know the route to church also adopt this format that the Holy spirit revealed to them to woo a particular lady.

9. Hi ! Can we be Friends?

Guys use this format so that the lady will not think they are up to something. The funniest thing is that, the person who said he only wanted to be a friend will her end up wooing her few days later

10. Feel free to add yours

Thanks for reading

Original writer: Tosyne2much

Toks2008:
Tosy dont you think its time i have a nairaland date?

I guess their attacks are indirect way of wooing me lol.

How you dey my broda?

I surprise as I just dey see bashing from left, right and centre.. Be like say these ladies don already mean u oooo

cherrymum:
Tokunbo, ur generation na ashunu. You are blameless o, it's d mod that transfers ur shit to where important matters should be that I blame. U employer of labour my asshole! Who dash u company? who borrow u. I'm sure my mai guard earns better than u. I will quote u! I have ur time werey oshi! brother ode! agabaya! *waka* for ur life.

You will be insulting and downgrading women all d time. can't u ask urself if your mum was treated like this in all this ur demeaning ways, how will u feel. It is always women women women! Dont u have another thing to use ur life to do?!!!!!!!!!!! agbaya oshi! agbaya oshi!! agbaya oshi!!!

if ur sister tells u that her husband treats her d way u want men to treat women like toilet, Olatokunbo brother ode! how will u feel. oloriburuku mashanfani oponu oniranu... oniranu jatijati!

I have yr time o. bring it on hot hot! I've been ignoring u but today, i will season that ur overgrown bushy bear bear, pubic hair and armpit hair and give u to eat. Oloshi!

esosa993:
eeeewwww op so u mean after catching your wife repeatedly you still continue having sex with her that's disgusting....... even me as a woman if my husband cheats on me repeatedly I don't think I'll ever let him touch me again u know why I'll find it disgusting, imagine that sane mouth he has used in kissing some parts of another woman body ewww

Let's assume I'm your husband and you caught me cheating, so you mean you will forever deprive me of my kitty-cat?

ronald4lif:
Don't get it? Do you mean I need to read this post or any piece for that matter before knowing that once I catch my wife cheating the marriage has reached it end?

I trust you Oga Ronald... No one shares kitty-cat with u

Charles4075:
Na lie ohhh.. It's for you Tosyne and Wristbangle along with IamLegend and Obiorathesubtle.

Egbon, u still dey dis country so?

goldbim:
You did not add *you should be lucky you have a girl like me because I Dnt demand for money like other girls out there*..lolzz. the guy'll pick race ..he'l feel the girl wants to start begging small small..*smh*talking from experience...lol.

Hahaha

meelorlah:
So how much are we talking about here

Eyes are watching oooo.. It won't be made publicly

eleko1:
Tosyne.2much E bi like say u don recruit marketerse for ur products .Dis one Wey everybody dey gist us bout 10 types of orobo dis n dat

Be like say u sef go help us rogger points oooo

meelorlah:
PMB must hear this. Say No to List on NL


Tosyne.2much and Co, let our Naira grow

Only if you can pay me to stop that list of a thing

khassy:
very soon tosyne2much and co go come drop their own list

how naira wan take grow?

I go drop one today sef

siegfried99:
Lol..
Na rhetorical question

I dey tell u baba

dominique:
Let me guess, it ended up in a pot

That shouldn't be a question since we all know where it ended up

eleko1:
Tosyne.2much,wrist.bangle must hear dis

Me sef just dey observe since baba

tutorng:
i dont think its childish bro

Sometimes we have to use the simplest illustrations to explain complex concepts

ceeceeuwa:
This should be on front page. Lalast,iclala food don done o!!!


Modified* Good it made front page! Lesson learnt "All that glitters is not gold"

Roflwkmd @ the bolded