₦airaland Forum

seen it more dan 1million times on da net, thou stil a good read anyday.

their corporate is on ozurumba mbadiwe street, victoria lagos. maybe u passed and ur age is above their limit or some other issues disqualifies you thru n thru

but how come u wrote the test in niaja n u r based in d UK
Abi u be wizard

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS: Maria.

__________________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication
on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

_________________________ ______ ___________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how
I spell it.

_______________________________________________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for
water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

__________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have
today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground
than you are.

_______________________________________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with
"I."

MILLIE: I is,

TEACHER: No, Millie, Always say, "I am." < BR>
MILLIE: All right, "I am the ninth letter of
the alphabet."

_________________________________

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his
father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know
why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his
hand.

______________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say
prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a
good cook.

______________________________

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is
exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE
: No, teacher, it's the same dog.

___________________________________

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher.

Remembering A Loving Husband


Mark was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE!

The next morning Mark got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough, there was a small box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Funeral services for Mark have been scheduled for Friday.

Who's in Charge?



All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.


"I should be in charge," said the brain , "because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen".


"I should be in charge," said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."


"I should be in charge," said the stomach," because I process food and give all of you energy."


"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."


"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "because I allow the body to see where it goes."
"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."


All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.

The Moral of the story?
The a * shole is usually in charge !! -  example OBJ

its only productive if marriage will be the end result of it all, else wahala is just u r abt starting,

Was in one n wen it packed up i had to seek transfer to a branch far away from the gal cos of the bad blood it created within the office. it even divided us
(staffers) in to 2 camps n all that.

more over its against that golden but silent Rule, never mix business with pleasure

DONT LOOSE HOPE GAL.
THE LORD IS SURELY UR STRENGHT.
IN HIS OWN APPOINTED TIME, UR CUSTOM MADE MIRACLE WILL FALL IN TO UR ARMS WITHOUT U STRESSIN FOR IT.
THE BATTLE IS NOT FOR THE STRONG, SWIFT, BUT FOR WHOM HE SHOWTH MERCIES.
DONT GIVE UP, KEEP PERSISTIN FOR THERE'S POWER IN PERSISTENCE.

klint the drunk is definately the most versatile comedian in naija. sings n dances well in addition to his jokes.

AN EMBLEM OF STUPIDITY/FOOLISNESS - MR IBRU.

A COMEDIAIN TRUE N TRUE - OSUOFIA.

Real fake i would rather say. if it aint fake y would there be a makin
used to be an ardent follower of WWF fights way back then, THe MONDAY NITE RAWS, CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLINGS, ROYAL RUMBLE, SUMMER SLAM, WRESTLMANIA, SURVIVOUR SERIES N ALL DAT. I GOT TO KNOW OF THE FAKENESS N I WAS HEART BROKEN.
WAY BACK THEN I USED TO PRACTISE SLEEPER HOLD/GRIP, BODY SLAM N POWER SLAM AND ALL.
ALL MATCHES ARE PRE PLANNED, HOW THE FIGHTS WILL PROGRESSED ARE ALSO PLANNED, WHO WILL WIN, ALL THE THEATRICS ETC. BUT AT TIMES THING DO GO OUT OF HAND/PLAN SHA.
BUT IN ALL ITS THOROUGHLY FAKE

CHECK OUT BOKIN FOR REAL FIGHTS

mai e ke farua a liyin nan ne

manan maganna ci ne

even silence is a response

cikena magana ya kare ko

I WROTE EXTENSIVELY ON THIS SUMTIM LAST YEAR CLICK ON LINK BELOW:


https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=20273.msg690100#msg690100

ONE SENTENCE SUMS IT UP: "IN D LAST DAYS,,,,,,,,,,,,,"
NEED I SAY MORE

hahahahahahahahahaa
the guy should set them up by walking in on them in thier randezvous, it will definately exposed the gal as a slot she really is, maybe they can have a party it will be kinky kind of. .

checkout this link
http://www.punchng.com/Articl.aspx?theartic=Art20070112240621

i believe he deserves wat he gets.

TeskyMan:
I support you jaree, Why would they have delayed it for so long, Although na God they take vengeance but King own too much but i wonder why people still refer to him as Reverend, Reverend is such a high position and i think people should stop refering to him as referend King, rather call him King or lucifer King.

I can imagin referend setting ablaze church members ,committing incessant fonication and stuffs, Well God is above and he'll judge Best.I am happy that he got the right answer to his akward behaviour, Rev ko, Rev niii,

Them suppose sentence am by setting him ablaze too instead of hanging so that he go know say "cow they mange to die,knief no go for neck"

Good day everyone,

there are reverends every where even in the kingdom of the devil.

when u see black n he/she tells u its white n u believe,,,,,,,, u r in luv :d

as an addition to the rules for men,check this:

FRESH-B, men marry women n women wed men. i still stand by that, try and see all marriage IVs u will see that the ladies name comes first then "weds" then the man. eq

Rita weds fresh-b or fresh-b marries Rita not the other way round

the guy wanna take the friendship to the next level n needs to know if the coast is clear or if he will need to fight for a shirt. catch the drift

men marry women not the other way round. women only GET MARRIED to men.
that should tell who to propose

y do u wanna punish a playa?
u will end up punishing urself

guys or gals, its hard to say, except u carry out a survey or poll to determine dat.
one thing i know for sure is that for every bad gal out there must ve been made bad by a bad guy who took away her innocence and treated her bad.
Celine dion once sang. , u make a good gal crazy if u dont treat her like a lady,

my opinion, , we guys are the worst cheat

i avoid both extremes. if u dont fall around the extremes n u r good looking then u r good ennuf

hmmmmmmm, , if i read right, ur best friend too hasnt dated guys.
are u sure of ur sexual preferences?
if u r then take ur time, i like people with strong resolve who dont do things cos others are doing so. keep it up!!

lol, lol, lol. cant stop laughing.
Lets get down to basics.
We guys dont just jump outta d blues claiming to be fine. No ugly guy will proclaim himslf fine. We only naturally reiterate wat ladies (friends, lovers and even womenn old enough to be your mother) told us over time again and again. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but theres a generally accepted standard for measuring finnese. if 8 out of every 10 ladies say u r fine, definately u are.
Same goes for the female folks. A stunningly beautiful gal to me might just look like a plain gal to sum 1 else, but in all sincerity she will never be considered ugly if the truth is to be told in its entirety.

as per confidence level,
u dont need any one to boost ur confidence level or else u will totally depend on others to carry out a whole lotta other important things in life. Cos a popular maxim says no one can shave ur head in ur absence, in essence, no one can make u feel inferior without ur consent.

All in all, i believe beauty transends physical looks, to me when the chips are down i restrict beauty to other inherent qualities u possess + wat stuff u ve up there!!!

_{This i believe will generate some dust}.
ciao

this music is tight, real tight, luv it,

lol, r u sooooooo bored then get urself a pet. a dog would suffice

hey brensbee22, dont go there.
there are virgin males around as well. aint one tho but i have a friend, a good muslim broda, running his masters in vet medicine. takes care of ma dogs, told me that in his entire 32 yrs on earth he has no carnal knowledge of a woman. Lots like him abound

be good from now hence forth, no more hating and bad mouthing(typing should be more of it)
thy sin had been forgiven , go n sin no more

so this thread is restricted to females? huh
which day aperthied start on top NL?
if i were a female i will prefare the causacian/white european descent. they are more caring and loving.
as a guy, naija babe anyday/time is it
cos i cant do without my pounded yam n edikainkong/egusi with diff kinda meats(assorted u know ) which can only be prepared by a homely naija cutie