₦airaland Forum

sanky346:
I am about changing my 2003 Toyota Corolla for a Rav 4 or Matrix 2006. Which is better in terms of fuel efficiency, ruggedness and coolness. Thanks

Joshuabase:
1. Decide to arrange for something other than
yourself to exist

2. Create a being by the name of Lucifer with full
knowledge that this being will betray you and
ultimately cause an infinite amount of suffering
unnecessarily.

3. Allow an unfathomably horrific dimension of
existence known as ‘hell’ to emerge created by
yourself or perhaps Lucifer and allow that dimension to continue existing. Do not override or prevent such a thing. It will come into play later.

4. Create objective unchanging moral prescriptions
and base them upon whatever your nature happens
to be and then label any action or thought contrary to these standards ‘sin’.

5. Be sure to include in these moral prescriptions
edits for social and psychological health such as
encouragement to beat ones children with a rod,
permission to buy and sell slaves and will them as
property to ones children for life, requirement that
women not be allowed to teach or have authority
over men and of course the instruction to kill anyone who expresses interest in worshiping other gods.

6. Design a physical universe, planets, animals and
vegetation all with the appearance of age be sure to
include in your creation biological flaws redundancies and over-complications that appear as if they were the product of blind cumulative processes, perhaps a urinary tract that runs straight through the prostate gland or a unnecessary appendix prone to inflation and rupturing, or maybe a respiratory and digestive system forced to share the same plumbing, (these are just a few working ideas).

7. Create a garden with a tree in it bearing fruit that
when eaten provides knowledge of your objective
moral standards, and create two sentient cognitive
beings without knowledge or awareness of these
standards and instruct them not to eat from the tree
which would enlighten them (in other words, arrange it so that only AFTER they eat from the tree are they capable of understanding that doing so was a violation of objective moral standards).

8. Warn these cognitive beings that they will
undoubtedly die if they eat from this tree, but don’t
follow through if they do, then endow a reptile with
vocal cords, lips or some other means of speaking
audibly to your cognitive beings enabling it to make
a convincing case to one of them for eating from the
tree. Do not prevent this or intervene.

9. Now by this point make sure your cognitive beings
have been equipped for reproducing themselves and
multiplying, and because one of them has sinned,
arrange that every single one of their descendants
until the end of time will be born with an inherited
sinful nature, defaulting in a future of everlasting
torment. Do not by any means allow each of them to
be born with a clean slate and the capacity for living
a sin-free life if they desire as you did with your first
two prototypes.

10. Endow these cognitive beings with a ‘soul’ which
keeps their thoughts and feelings and other cognitive
faculties in existence forever one way or another. And
then allow the sinfulness of these beings to be
incompatible with your presence and let hell be the
only other place that they can go once they exit the
the physical world, do not make any attempt to spare
these souls the eternal torment of hell such as
allowing souls to stop existing all together or
creating additional realm for them to reside besides
with you or in hell.

11. Over time allow these beings to populate the
earth you’ve creating, knowing with infallible
certainty of course that after so many generations
they will disappointed you enough that you find it
necessary to kill all of them in a global flood and start
all over from scratch.

12. Now when this happens (again right on schedule)
make an exception for one small family of cognitive
beings who you deem righteous of course it goes
without saying that powers of omnipotence allow you
to know, again, with infallible certainty that this
family to will ultimately disappointing in the same
way that those who you drowned, rendering the
entire endeavor futile, but for now it’s best that you
pretend not to know that.

13. Instruct this small disappointment of a family to
populate the entire world all over again by way of
incest.

14. Declare that until further notice the only way for
these cognitive beings to rectify their sinful nature
while on earth is to preform ritual animal sacrifice’s
and other acts of senseless violence, additionally
when certain sins are committed by any one of your
cognitive beings demand that the surrounding
community kill that being themselves.

15. In the meantime perform many epic miracles for
all to see and intervene often with your physical
creations, stop the sun in the sky, part the red sea,
turn rivers into blood, and women into pillars of salt,
give men superhuman strength, speak to the
thousands with a booming voice from heaven etc,
but before these cognitive beings become advanced
enough in the area’s of science and communication
that they could actually document, share, playback
and verify these epic miracles, make sure you stop
performing them all together .

16. Decide at some point that the most pressing of
your objective moral prescriptions are not as obvious
to these cognitive beings as you once thought, take
this opportunity to chisel your top ten moral
concerns into two tablets of stone and commission
one of your cognitive beings to deliver these tablets
to the masses, (Note to self: Roughly half of these
moral concerns should center around pleasing you,
praising you and remaining loyal to you)

17. After several thousand years impregnate one of
these cognitive beings so that she gives birth to your
son in physical form, who also happens to be you, at
the same time.

18. Allow this cognitive being who is your son but
also you to grow up and make several revisions to
you/your son’s original standards of morality then
arrange for other cognitive beings to torture and kill
you/your son, authorize this sacrifice of yourself as a
means of granting all other cognitive beings
immunity from the consequences of their sinful
nature, which you allowed them to be born with in
the first place.

19. Do not however make this sacrifice free, establish
that none of these cognitive beings shall be eligible
for benefits of this sacrifice unless they actively
believed that it happened, in other words, despite
the quality of their intentions any cognitive beings
henceforth who finds themselves unconvinced these
events actually took place, is unwittingly designating
themselves for the endless suffering of hell.

20. With that established, be sure to refrain from
making it clear and knowable to the rest of the world
that these events actually took place, ensure that no
cognitive being after the first century has the luxury
of witnessing your son who is also you say or do
anything to indicate he was a living guy. Again, make
sure that all of this occurs before advancements in
science and technology are available to verify for
those who aren’t present.

21. Arrange so that the only surviving record of these
events will be offered anonymously by non-eye
witness’s translated to a language different from the
one you/ your son will speak written no earlier than
thirty years after you/your son preformed these
miracles and makes these clams, however do make
sure that these records feature the precept that
believing in something without evidence is morally
superior to investigation and verification.

22. Be sure that after only a few decades the only
accounts of these events in existence are copies of
copies of copies which will be verifiably altered and
added to in historically and theologically significant
ways from generation to generation, sect to sect. Do
not preserve the original copies of these accounts, do
not protect them from revision, do not set in place
any mechanism of protecting them from being
interpreted in hundreds upon hundreds of ways most
of which being heretical and therefore punishable.

23. Do not bother to employ your omniscience in
such a way as to discern which of these cognitive
beings are truly rebelling, and which simply don’t
know how to distinguish you from other versions of
god which do not in fact exist.

24. Do not make it clear to these beings that you are
are even here. Allow for your very existence to
remain an easily debatable, easily questionable,
easily doubtable proposition, allow billions and
billions of souls to be unthinkably tortured for all of
eternity regardless of their character, integrity,
bravery, responsibility or conduct because they had
not correctly assumed that the right set of
propositions were true by the time their lives on
earth were over.

25. And finally… when all is said and done demand
that you be praised for this plan.

corpROYAL:
l am a Christian and a born again. l do notice some strange things about me. l always stopped by some passerby begging me alms. This thing keep happen to me most of the time, one happen sunday another one yesterday. Although, l have passion for giving. pls people of God what is the meaning of this in spiritual realm because before l do give them but l have stop it now because l recently develop a mind that when they ask me it is somehow because you don't know who is who and they can use the money to bewitch you or using it to do wrong, you know how life is now.

SupremeDimeji:
Hi Nairalanders,

I am a computer science student who is about to finish his National Diploma at a polytechnic and I plan to get a direct entry form to a university. But I want to know which universities are best or rather good in the course according to your experience or opinions.

Thanks in advance.

diligreat:
pls brothers and sisters i want to enroll into a web designing school. pls which school is the best to learn website design in lagos. i stay in lekki.
if anybody knows anyone pls help me out. i mean the best that will teach person everything about web design and that gives the best knowledge
to become a professional.

Thanks

jopretty:
Cat on a cross? Some pple's hell fire will have extra firewood and fuel.

JomaxGlobal:
Without doubt, ecommerce is the best thing to hit the retail industry in Nigeria in the recent past. Without incurring the usual cost of undertaking brick and mortar shops, sellers are now able to offer their goods and services to customers all over Nigeria and beyond.

The main drivers of ecommerce in Nigeria by no particular order are Jumia, Konga, Dealdey and Kaymu. However, due to logistics and other challenges, these platforms are open to only sellers in Lagos and a few other cities, thus depriving sellers elsewhere of the lucrative opportunities of trading on established platforms. Starting January 2016, we will be creating a platform to enable sellers in Benin sell on Jumia, Konga, Kaymu, Dealdey and other ecommerce platforms.

Watch this space for more information.

hineyolu:
I'm not sure you would be asking this question if you had actually opened the Web page

Unionised:
Don't be carnal.

God is Omnipresent.

lil2:
Now this is funny.
Sometime I ask myself that which church does God attend? I don't mean in terms of denomination now! Sometimes when I listen/hear the kind of songs some churches sing during their praise and worship section I can't help but wonder!

For example you go to a place like House on the rock, the music is on point and the service is not unnecessarily long, and then you hear some churches sings some old school songs (praise the Lord, o sing, o sing o, praise the lord). I ask myself does God really attend all these services or does he just send delegates to worship with some of these people while He attends some of those churches where everything is on point

Please what's your take

hineyolu:
The bitcoin is a digital currency or a cryptocurrency that has market value. Bitcoin is not a physical coin or a paper and it is held electronically i.e bitcoins can be stored only in computers, servers etc. Though bitcoins are not physical they have very high value, let say 1 Bitcoin = +/- $450 and can be converted into local currencies. The value of bitcoins is keep on increasing day by day. So, it is the right time to start accumulating in your wallet.


Why Bitcoins? | Advantages of bitcoins:

Bitcoin has its own advantages and one of the significance of bitcoin is they are not controlled by any government or organization or anything else i.e. bitcoins are decentralized. Bitcoins are the open source and they are not subjected to taxes. An individual can have how much ever bitcoin he wants and he doesn't have to pay any taxes for the bitcoin he owns.

Zero transaction fees - this is the second most valuable advantage of bitcoins. For instance if you want to transfer your friend or if you wish to buy something online you must pay a part of the amount as transaction fees to the bank or financial company. In case of bitcoins transaction fee is zero even if you want to transfer millions of dollars.

No middle man - as said above you don't have to depend on banks to transfer amount to your friends or purchasing products and services online. To transfer bitcoin to some just enter their bitcoin address and click send.

Transaction speed - the bitcoin transaction speed is very fast that the receiver will receive the bitcoin in next second without any middle man.
When bitcoin was introduced to the market the value of one bitcoin was $8, but now the rate of 1 bitcoin has increased like anything to several hundred dollars make it the costliest currency in the world(might change). So, think you accumulated the bitcoins when the value of the bitcoin was $20 and sell it while the value is $300.

For more information on bitcoins and how to earn bitcoins, visit. https://mobile.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=956595067758026&id=956578327759700#!/Earn-Free-Bitcoins-956578327759700/?refid=52&_ft_=top_level_post_id.956595067758026%3Atl_objid.956595067758026&__tn__=C

Adonai7:
what is the difference between Jesus and Muhammad? and how is the best. I need proof to your answers.

prahcetomi:
Pls who knows any site where I can stream videos easily,apart from youtube and Vuclip?

viki84:
Nairalanders please i need your sincere opinion in this issue.
There's this girl i met on a social platform which is popular in ireland (www.ask.fm). Since i met this girl online, our closeness has grown much bond although we've not met. She's from bulgaria and a muslim. We usually video chat on skype. I adore her. We felt mutual feelings for each other. I want to take a next move. Should i go ahead and ask her out considering the fact that i'm a christian?

INTERMAN:
So sad This happen to a christian man in Libya. He was crucified on the cross on a broad day light as children play around him

hfinest1:
been quite a while i felt this way bout anyone... i know I've never met her and it seems kinda silly to think you're in love with someone you've not met but i don't mind being called "silly" for her love. i just get this awesome feeling whenever i view her comments or come across a thread created by her... I follow up her diaries like kilode... i just love her for her maturity in her comments, her enthusiastic spirit, as gathered from her diary.

I really feel something for this girl... i wish we could be together, get married, make the most beautiful kids and have the most adorable family ever...i love you so much .............. i won't tell you who she is :-p

Sanyiicrown:
CBN policy got all Nigerian Bank Cards blocked....
How can we start making payments for service online in 2016?

Anybody with a reasonable answer?
Thanks.

tivta:
Any one else with issues like this? What are the pros and cons? The lady in question has a 7 year old daughter.

Eddyitaly77:
See me see trouble, this evening I enter train they go my house.. at the next train stop one girl came in and sit close to me, the moment this girl sat down that was when she started looking at me,she dey view me like say I b TV for my mind this girl like me.. Base on the sharp guy I be, I began to follow up with the babe and the babe they follow up also everything dey go well.. We continue gisting and laughing together... Then i asked her were she's from and what tribe is she,. Nigeria typical Benin she said... Ok o am from nigeria typical Benin also, I said... Suddenly this babe mood just change immediately Then I asked her why the sudden change when I told her am a Benin boy...my people if you see gbege...(I DON'T LIKE BENIN BOYS, I DON'T WANT BENIN BOYS, I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH BENIN BOYS, BENIN BOYS ARE EVIL,THUNDER FIRE BENIN BOYS,BENIN BOYS ARE TOO WICKED)......... Before she land na I feel free carry my property go back back sit were she can't see me again before she go swear for me... And this girl is a Benin girl, I don't understand why she behaved like that....

Like seriously I have met up to 10 nigerians here in Europe that said the same thing as this girl... I don loose many girls because of say I be Benin.... Benin people are d best in Nigeria you know, we are good in everything but I don't understand some of this girls even our own Benin girls are still saying Benin boys are not good but why?

Please guys have you met any of them before or is it just me?? Girls what do you say about this??

What is it about Benin boys?

DemCrush:
Hello my fellow Romancelander's, i'm not a story teller oh:p but what happened on xmas eve landed me in my present condition.


it all started on the 24 on xmas eve, i was home alone coz i wasn't feeling too well, i called my girlfriends if any of them can come spend the night with me, Loveth said she travelled to benin to see her aunty, Favour said her mum won't allow her go out, Taire said she's on her mestral period so i decided to call my guy and tell him my condition.
*fastforward* it was around 11:13pm when i heard a knock on my door, i opened the door and what i see really caught my attention, it was my guy standing next to him is a voluptious female creature, my guy told me he brought her from a brothel.., i was like what the fvck!

**To Be Continued**

mykel25:
mykel25:
I have a question lingering in my mind....its believed that God knows everything before time....is it to say when it come to when we are to choose he already know the choice we ll make? if yes then why did he give us CHOICE?

To my own opinion he only knows the end point when we make a choice....he does not interfere with that cuz he gave that power to us..I call it "THE PLACE OF MAN" I see choice as a decision we have to make so that we can take responsibilities for it.......buh there is a place where God tampered with human choice in the bible....in the case of moses and pharoah....he was the one that sent moses yet he's still the one that hardened pharoahs heart so that he can destroy him (book of exodus) so the question is does God know EVERYTHING to d extent of knowing the choice we ll make? Plus those that rob and kill is it God's plan for their life? Remember everything he created is good....... OAM4J kindly move to frontage cuz I need people's opinion on this

jose556:
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Sudheerx3:
top 10 most scariest movie in world wide. include japan hang kong. japan is the best and perefect in making scariest movies. and this collection include dubbed in all other languages. you can search for it and enjoy the scary with thrill.
1 'The Exorcist'
2 'The Shining'
3 'Psycho'
4 'Halloween'
5 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre'
6 'Alien'
7 'The Haunting'
8 'Night of the Living Dead'
9 'The Thing'
10 'Poltergeist'



you can watch the top 10 scariest clips from movies here http://filmysearch.in/ and give your vote

Jamestb:
I don't know how to go about this
My boyfriend has been addicted to pornography since 1999, about 14 years before he met me. We have dated for about 2 years now and unfortunately he is still hooked to pornography.
Yes, he tells me the frequency has drastically reduced from a daily basis to a once a month affair. I do not keep count or care about frequency, but all I know is that I feel inadequate any time I hear the word ‘porn.’
He is upfront with me and actually lets me know whenever he has viewed porn and masturbated to it. He is not letting me know to spite me but letting me know in agony, so I could help him. I was OK with being his accountability partner but recently it got too much for me to handle.
Trust me hearing about your spouse, who you want to spend the rest of your life with, ogling other women is painful. I don’t understand how I can trust him. He uses porn to fill a void in his life. For example when he is depressed, the next thing is porn.
He is a charming guy and super intelligent. He is the most intelligent man I’ve ever met which baffles me as to why he can’t see the devastating effect porn will have on our family if he continues. He can’t see it. It’s almost like he is blind to it. He is also spiritual but I think his spirituality is hypocrisy, because I don’t get how you can be spiritual and still be checking porn
continue reading here http://itzsongster..com.ng/2015/12/advice-girl-cry-out-because-boyfriend.html?m=1

narenshiva:
This machine uses the humidity present in the air - Your input is just free air and output is pure mineralised drinking water. We have 4 different models which can make UPTO 1000 liters / 500 / 250 / 100 liters per day, near coastal regions. Power consumption will be high, 8.5 KW for a 1000 liter machine. We are looking for re-sellers / exclusive dealers for Nigeria. Please write to narenshiva@iconafrica.com. WA on +919951385139. Thanks

jaylister:
explain pls

Tunchi101:
1. Yahoo Boys

These ones deserve a standing ovation for
womanizing cos they are naturally stereotyped
“womanizers”. (though I take exception to
those that will come in contact with me and will
prove otherwise). Since they hold ladies
attention like nobody else, all out of an
conscious/unconscious desire to prove
constantly that they are financially buoyant by
extravagantly and wastefully spending their
earnings from scam, all in a bid to take off the
panties of the greedy, narcissistic and nefarious
ladies who worship money to buy perishable
parameters and boost their self serving ego,
just in a few minutes of knowing these guys.
Yahoo guys !, I throway salute oooo
Womanizer


2. Lecturers

It takes the grace of God to find a lecturer in
our tertiary institutions who doesn’t at least
womanize. The larger percent of lecturers who
are unnecessarily strict to students are nothing
but womanizers. They however use unlawful
pressure upon a lady to coerce her to perform
an act that she ordinarily would not perform
without the treat of carry over/extra year. Even
though some of them pretend to be S.U, they
are green snakes under a green grass that
would parley and strike a deal with the Class
Rep asking him to link them up with babes to
they would bleep. They would solemnly promise
to upgrade her CGP to 4.50 just to have her
attention but once their true nature as
sodomizing bastards is uncovered, they would
be the one to award her a carry over in their
own course. They are common in GNS/GENS
department



3. JAMB/GCE Tutorial Teachers


This list is incomplete without these categories
of people. I know that some of us might at a
point attended JAMB coaching classes and we
must have however noticed the gimmicks
played by these proclaimed JAMB/GCE
teachers. They are always very accommodating
to the female students pretending to be helpful
in making their admission dream come to
reality. Don’t underestimate them, cos they
have the phone numbers of many female
students ringing them up odd hour at night.
(Xtracool things ). Womanizing is in their gene


4. Politicians



This is common with those pot bellied
politicians. When they spot a pretty lady from
their cars, they will wind down the car window
and start saying the sleaziest pick up lines you
can never think of, such as sweetie, baby, angel,
honey, darling; you shouldn’t be walking in this
hot sun. Hop in lemme give you a ride. These
romantic pet names are the perfect way to
make a girl feel special without mixing up real
names. *Hailing to our politicians*


5. Male Corp Members

Some of us will be praying
that they should be posted to Secondary
Schools so that they will be having secret
affairs with those young female students whose
bosoms are still undergoing the infant stage of
development

6. Bank Managers/HRM

While I would not say that this assertion is 100
percent valid, but it is valid more often than not.
Don’t be surpirsed that these ones are also not
exempted from the act of womanizing. Since
they are respected for the position they occupy
and are responsible for the intake of employees,
they use this position to coerce female job
seekers into getting under their skirt, provided
they dance to their tune. Ever wondered why
ladies find jobs easily in Nigeria, unlike the male
folks?


7. Fake Pastors in Sheep Clothing

The Bible already predicted that many fake
pastors will use Jesus’ name to cast out
demons and peform signs and wonders. A fake
pastor will always womanize no matter what.
Today, you will hear the story of a pastor
bleeping the memeber of the choir and ushering
unit, etc. I’m glad God has been exposing them
in recent time


8. Alhajis

They share similar characteristics with the fake
pastors. Don’t be deceived by the “Alhaji” they
are being called. Many of them are hypocrites
in “Alhaji” clothing, they are always twising the
Holy Quran giving 1,000 reasons as to why it’s
right for a man to marry 100 wives provided he
can take their responsibilites and love them
equally(even the poor ones who can’t cater for
a wife dwell in this same notion and adopt a
second wife ). As a matter of fact, a man who
marries more than one wife can never be a
faithful man, cos his sexual sincerity is next to
nill. As a result of this, they go about chasing
young ladies despite having five wives at home.

9. Policemen


Sincerity and honesty are not the watchwords
of most policemen, and this affect their marital
life. A larger proportion of policemen keep extra
marital affairs outside. After a strenuous day at
work, you will spot them at beer palour such as
mama Ngozi cool spot, Mama Ijeoma beer
palour squandering money on another another


10. Students

Some students who can’t boast of two square
meal a day, will cohabit with a lady for a whole
session. They can even give their school fee to
a lady they are cohabiting. This reminds me of
how a cohabiting friend who was chased out of
the exam hall for not paying his school/
department fees.