₦airaland Forum

Joy1706:
Please I will want to know the opinion of people.
My husband insists I dish his food. For instance, if I set the food on the table with plates and cutlery, he prefers I dish onto his plate, that it shows complete service.i think otherwise because I might be busy attending to other chores. This morning he almost left for work without taking breakfast and when i asked why he was leaving, he said the service was not complete. So I had to leave what I was doing to dish food for him.

What are your views on this?

My views?

The wife is in serious dereliction of her duty. The expectation is;

1. She prepares all meals fresh in direct accord with his taste and preferences
2. She sets-up and serves him accordingly
3. She waits on him while he eats - being proactive in ensuring he has all he needs
4. She clears up at his prompting - although she should learn to take non-verbal cues here.
5. She presents warm soapy water for washing hands, followed by a scented towel for drying - he may prefer you to dry, verify this.
6. She should thank him for allowing her to be of service
7. She should make enquiry as to how she could have improved the service

I also think he's a bit slack for permitting this slovenly approach - give 'em an inch and they'll take a mile. As for "having other chores to attend to", what could take priority over serving your husband .

Arrant nonsense. A woman that loves and is committed to you will love to serve you. All these side-chicks masquerading as wives. Next she'll be asking for you to consider her needs during intimacy .


TV

Timbuktou:
As usual, the paranoid ediots have to make it a he versus she argument.

It's the "Equalisers" .
Anything a man does, a woman must be able to do. And in the same way, with the same outcomes. No thought given to the moral value, and totally ignoring any biological or physical drivers. And if the women can't do it, men must stop doing it or change it so that they can. Although they pass where it is risky, dangerous or otherwise unglamorous.

Everything must be equalised. If it means changing the language, so be it, denying reality, so be it, re-writing the bible, so be it, getting mad at God - He must be challenged about His sexism and heteronormative bigotry - so be it.

They are fun to watch na, and there's no end of laughs yanking their "angry" chains. Allow o jare !


TV

Kimoni:


I just had this feeling I don't hear half of it and nobody would tell, so I had to install a CCTV in the house so I can see every damn thing that goes on in the house. And the app is right there on my phone so I get to see it all from anywhere on this planet

It's just that I rarely have the chance to playback everything I miss Of course, my husband thinks I am paranoid but I remind him of my 9 month journey

Ah, ah. CCTV ke!...na penitentiary? .

What do you expect? Men and their children - especially boys - na rough play and proper "manhandling" !


TV

5minsmadness:
The only thing is thier mom got upset when she found out i was giving her kids beer to help them sleep at night...She refused to leave them with me after that

...abi 0, 5 mins.

You too have the type that thinks nobody can look after the child like she can? Always raising an eyebrow at my unique "manparenting" methodology

She went on a 5 day residential course once. Always calling, constant face-timing. We'd be playing our special "gbosa" wrestling game, F/T, just sitting down to eat F/T, we'd be in the middle of having water games in the bath, F/T. And I rarely keep my phone to hand. Kilode gan sef

Even small things like calling the baby carrier a holster? Slightly late nappy changes or not feeding to the second. Proper helicopter mum. I can't even tell her half the escapades we have when she's not around - she'd like faint .


TV

vivienobidike:
The lies society keeps telling us..no wonder we have some women that the only thing they have to themselves is bearing another mans name
..remove it and they are nothing.

I believe this post. is very straight forward. A woman can be anything she wants to be without the societal requirement of having a man by her or she amounts to nothing.

So is she expected to halt her dreams, feel less of a human because she has no man?

For those saying.. the dream of every lady is to get married.. I beg to disagree

Marriage is seriously overrated.
Everyone won't get married...
Some will get old and die single ...not because they couldn't get a man but because they decide not to.

Like I said...if marriage comes in the process. of self actualization, embrace it. Don't live your every minute feeling less of yourself because the society tells u so..

Total hogwash

Live your life
Affect those around you
You weren't created ONLY to get married and bear another mans name
There is a bigger purpose
Marriage should be an addition
A topping on the cake
Not the entirety of your existence on earth.

Mutter, please, you are needed here 0 !


TV

ApexTitan has answered you accordingly.

Note;

The study was only done over 6 years - and almost certainly amongst younger couples. We all know about the "flush" that comes with a new relationship. Especially one that has very few cares - other than simply being together.

And more so when one does not have to give thought to long-term considerations, knowing that you can simply walk, if it doesn't meet your expectations. There is no happiness like that which is care, cost and commitment free.

With marriage comes more than selfish expectation, and for many - especially men, lots of pressure, and a not so easy burden. But you see, individual gratification and selfish measures of "happiness" are not what marriage is primarily about.

The measure of a marital relationship is not simply how "happy", or how much of their desires they satisfy, or if they get the gratification they crave. Marriage is about bringing joy, making others happy and sometimes stifling your own desires to do so.

A good marriage can ask that of you. It doesn't make men responsible per se, but it may well demands heightened levels of responsibility and sacrifice from them.

Marriage is about way more than the individuals in it, or even their happiness as a couple. It gives greater guarantee of good outcomes for children - which the studies you posted conspicuously failed to mention - and these outcomes are greater for life-long marriage, not a derisory 6 year span. I wonder how they studies would have panned out over even 10 years?

Marriage is about bloodlines, kinship ties and strong communities. It's about inheritance, generational prosperity and strong nations. You see the studies you referenced although seemingly researching marriage, had very little to do with it.

It was merely considering “relationship happiness “, which is but one aspect of marriage – not the sum - and not something you have to be married or even co-habbing to experience.

Feel free to predicate your position on individual autonomy and desires, no one denies you that. But your attempts to equalise all relationships, or all individual choices, to justify your stance is simply lame and unthinking. Please try harder.


TV

ronald4lif:
http://www.wsj.com/articles/living-together-may-be-even-better-for-your-health-than-marriage-1424145641

http://www.today.com/health/couples-who-cohabitate-are-happier-marrieds-1C9382221

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/1248423

The above are just three among other links of research that suggest cohabitation is better or same as marriage. For the record, I don't submit to these research even as I don't agree anyone is better and it's subjected to individual's perspective. I'm aware there are also many studies that posits marriage is better as either is derived from the pundits and the community/individuals whose opinions were collated.

I'm not backing cohabition but saying that whichever of the two anyone finds suitable they should grab it and care less about objections and what the greater populace thinks. No one should rub in their opinion on others. Just accept which you think is right for you and let others theirs.

ronald4lif:
I'm sure consensus wouldn't agree that marriage is more likely to produce a more effective outcome than other forms of relationships if the survey is focused on married couples.

. Have you read up on the subject? All empirical studies clearly show that marriage is far superior to co-habing and non-cohabbing domestic realtionships. Especially where children are involved. up to x6 better than the former and x10 better than the latter.

ronald4lif:
People could be married and have kids but still doesn't mean they're contented and might just be stuck in the union to avoid being stereotyped.

Yes this is true, but how does it make co-habbing better? And better for kids? You haven't even scratched the surface. You are just throwing out unthinking postulations to justify your opinion.

ronald4lif:
Marriages collapses on an almost equal scale as cohabs couple nowadays so I don't see the sentiment and certitude than one is better than the other.

Again, you are making false/blind assertons without having studied the research - just to feel secure in your erroneous position.

ronald4lif:
Just like marriage cohabitation doesn't also secure happiness, however, whatever any feels would guarantee them contentment they should go for it.

But true marriage properly entered into gives a better shot than co-habbing and is empiracally better for women and children. No one has said don't go for what you like. Just don't claim what you like, or go for, is as good as marriage when it is not.

ronald4lif:
I still maintain that a marriage cert is the only distinguishing between a married couple and cohabs ones and your discountenance couldn't dispel it.

And you maintain that because; 1. You do not know what true marriage is and 2. You have not given adequate thought to the matter. After all, the only difference between a WAEC holder and a B.Sc holder is a piece of paper, no?


TV

mutter:
Most women in Nigeria are even ready to marry half a man. When they don't find one they talk marriage down.

Half-men maybe, but no half-truths. Very well said !

TV
^{But aunty, please, sofry, sofry, with our NL singles 0. We continue to encourage them .}

ronald4lif:
The difference between a married couple and a cohabitating couple is the marriage cert, a piece of paper which doesn't determine the success or failure of the union.

As NL' M-A-C , I simply couldn't pass without addressing this;

1. If you think marriage is merely a "piece of paper", you - to put it as politely as one can - simply have no idea what marriage is
2. That same faulty thinking is what leads you to tie marital success to a marital certificate, and believe that the difference between both arrangements is "a piece of paper" - really?

You would then need to define "success &/or failure; If it's the staying - happily - together and raising well-adjusted children, marriage is anything from x4 times more likely to produce positive outcomes than co-habiting.

"Co-habees", are more likely to split up, and split up earlier - most especially where children are involved.

ronald4lif:
One can build a family and live happily too without nuptials. That you can't cohabitate doesn't make your decision the better one to those who does.

Absolutely "one" can - indeed, any individual co-hab arrangement may be better than any number of individual marriages - but in most cases they are'nt. Marriage is in fact a better decision and a superior domestic arrangement - especially for women and children.

ronald4lif:
The keyword is happiness. Not what society and organized doctrines believes to be right or wrong.

This bit is not even worthy of a response.


TV

Kimoni:
TV, it's the same thing jor, don't use big grammar to confuse me

Not in this context na? Abi we are no talking good girl vs. bad boy


TV

Kimoni:
And I agree wholeheartedly with the bolded. Sorry I missed it earlier.
As for the last part, I already admitted that Shymexx examples were very extreme. I am on the quiet side but my hubby is very outgoing, I like to be analytical, he is quite spontaneous. We are opposites in several ways but not necessarily bad. I have never been attracted to a quiet man, yet I am quiet . We choose people who complement us. That's what I meant and same logic applies to Shymmmex examples.

That is complemetarity in behaviour/traits/attributes, as opposed to opposite in character. Afterall, there is another aphorism that states "we attract what we are" no? Elevation frees us from all the lower level situational/contextual laws/boundaries.

Kimoni:
Again I have to agree with the bolded **banging my head against the wall**

Note - I corrected the first sentence

Thanks, but it didn't require correcting - I used "men" in the genric human sense - Its implied in the second paragraph and I used people in my earlier response - I could have been clearer I suppose . I'll try harder next time. lest I fall foul of the law of unintended consequences !


TV

Kimoni:
Tim and TV - I just dey laugh both of you ni o. Instruct your sons from today till eternity, what they will do is what they will do. You won't be the only one to teach and influence them in this life baa

What will be will surely be

Kim, men do as instructed, as schooled. It's called nurture. But men who lack instruction, or are unschooled, also "do". They just don't fully grasp the how and why. What they will do is what they are grounded in.

It's not chance and mindless destiny. What will be is what - with faith and grace - they are instructed in. Or do you think the boys that sag, and the girls who like boys that sag, don't learn that? !


TV

Timbuktou:
You should be awarded honorary doctorates from HYP-OB for the part in bold. At the end of the day, it's about feeling entitled and over-valuing one's self . It was a hilarious thread and I saw people with experience trying to wade in, but we all know some people would not let facts stand in the way of fantasy.

My son already knows what is acceptable looks wise, he's just almost five. hehehehe. There is yet hope for the future.

Cheers bro', but me, I gave it up for Crackhaus, Ramdeuter and I believe Mindless on that thread. Way more patient than I am given to be lately. My jaw hit the ground when the dating situation was disconnected from the marriage state. I guess deep some some women peg themselves as girlfriends - whatever that is . Why won't you quantify your relationship - and whole being - in terms of emotional units !

Abi, my boy is barely 3. Knows all about kinship ties and properly structured realtiosnhips. Bloodlines and generational understanding to follow shortly. Once they grow with it, and understand it, it will always inform their choices. He will be raised knowing all about


TV

Kimoni:
That law has been in existence before you and I were born. And it will not change when you and I leave.

In as much as it is tue, it has limits and is contextual.

Kimoni:
TV, how do you make two batteries work? Placing two negative sides together, two positive sides together or placing the positive after the negative side?

That is "polarity", same principle as male/female - there is an outcome for both, vis energy or life.

Kimoni:
And remember I used "often" for humans; because we are humans, there would be a few rare exceptions but naturally, we all tend to attract qualities we don't have.

Again, limits and context. I don't have a womb ! But I ain't gettin; with no plain jane on acount of the fact that I'm foine !

Kimoni:
Shymmex examples are kind of extreme but the phenomenon cannot be argued, so kindly explain why it happens, if you disagree with the law. Why do humans make such choices over and over again?

I explained in my first response to you. People who are cultured/mature/schooled enough to choose with understanding and act wisely are freed from such laws.

Knowledge tells me fornication is bad, understanding gives me insight as to why, and wisdom enables me to choose/act appropriately. Control of - or better still elimination of - a carnal response to my base desires means I am elevated above such laws.

I do it by faith and grace - which I believe has implications and benefits beyond the here and now, but there are other ways to attain to this state.

I used to appraise women "carnally". Then I renewed my mind. Understanding flooded in. So whilst I can still appreciate the leggy girl in the pencil skirt and even be attracted to her, I act on more refined/loftier motivations.

The law is for the ungodly !


TV

Timbuktou:
Hello Bros,

You are indeed, right. Just wasn't in the mood to expatiate ni. Nairaland is such a disappointing brain-killer these days, I type responses most times and then delete them because arguing with ediots can be tiresome. However, I absolutely agree with your comment. The allure of the alpha is most times too hard to ignore and resist, especially for the sexually liberated generation.

Indeed, again I totally agree with this. Gentle as a dove, wise as a serpent, royal as a lion . Please, permit my paraphrasing.

That thread got me laughing. I realise it too late and just opted to not bother responding to the myriad of unrealistic experiences. This indomie generation is unfortunate I have to admit, they are soooo disconnected from reality. The reach of hollywood and Disney stories is more pervasive than we would like to admit. I have a very strong feeling arranged marriages will make a comeback . I will personally vet the homes my children will be marrying from and will teach them to be as discerning as possible for what they should look out for in both spouse and spouse's lineage. Believe me, I have met families where they have a generational disregard for matrimony and legacy.

However, as much as we might have principles, it should be remembered that the law was made for man and not the other way around.

Unrealistic expectation gba ni - predicated on a gargantuan sense of entitlement, multiple blind spots, a self-serving mentality and usually with the bonus of a "princess complex". Any man that's sets to sea upon that emotional seastorm is guaranteed shipwreck.

Gba be 0! I'm already instructing my son in why lineage matters - and not to bring any plain or generously proportioned girls to my house !


TV

Kimoni:
Like poles repel, unlike poles attract. It's a universal law that applies to humans as well.

It's very natural to attract to yourself one who has those qualities that you do not possess and it's doesn't apply to women alone, same law applies to men. The good guys often end up with bad girls and vice versa. It is what it is.

Law ke? Everyone likes good things - and I''m not attracted to my burriful sesi wife 'cos I'm bugly !

I'm of the mind that it's more of "a choice" - based on knowledge, understanding, wisdom and discernment - than a law. Indeed, when you are deficient in any of those areas and make bad choices - and perhaps repeatedly so - it may seem like a law, but it's poor outcomes predicated on poor choices, rooted in some degree of ignorance and probably disordered desire.


TV

Timbuktou:
Shymme3x, the quote above is the conclusion of the whole matter. Women will fvck bad boys but marry nice guys. Pepa is only regretting her Will Smith experience because he'd have made a great husband not that he's such a great guy that it would be logical to be with him, same with Vivica.

Holá T, the cunning ones maybe - but typically, most don't have the smarts to see and appreciate the difference beween thug lovin' and selfless devotion. Even those that can, find it very hard to forego their desire for a "bit of rough" - tendency to stray is high amongst those as well.

For a man, your mission - if you want a wife - is to find one of those pearls or rare value, the subset who are neither silly nor cunning, who are able to appreciate goodness in a man. You yourself have to wrap that goodness in proper masculine traits/behaviour.

Again, for many women, thug lovin, trips the same switches as true masculine traits, they just are not cultured/mature enough to spot the difference. I was reading the "emotionally unavailable" thread . I swear, most women - especially the singles - who post here would be much better off letting their elders choose spouses for them.


TV

tearoses:
Bro coach TV01

I need Motivation HELP!!!!!

...sup sis'?


TV

Pertinent & insightful well done 5mins. I wrote something akin to this a while back. If I can find it, I'll link it here. People meed to be aware. The drive to normalise all manner of deviancy and legalise vice has been foretold. As in the days of Noah"....let the wise take heed and those that fear God watch and pray...


TV

^{https://www.nairaland.com/2357852/im-bored-why-not-yet/1#34547096}

njokusboy:
Lol, ladies and gentlemen, do u think dis lady is accommodating of our view considering the bolded?

Who cares? But anyway, she is right, no one should write rubbish about feminists" - besides, you'll get way more likes for writing the truth about them - "nipple-freeing, free-bleeding, God-hating, rights without responsibilities seeking loonies" .


TV

carnegiefan:
Please not to be misquoted or misunderstood. I did not say that married women had sex willy nilly in traditional Igbo marriages. We still hated and frowned at adultery and the punishment was very harsh.
All I'm saying is that western style marriages laid too much emphasis on sex. In fact it is all based on sex ("love". Hence children suffer if they don't come from that "love".
Igbo saw that love was a vain emotion and rose high above it to protect family and children.
Thats all.

Dude, like wow!

I have loved your insights and grasp of marriage in the Igbo tradition. My admiration for both you and the culture has rocketed. From the little you've written, I can glean how rich and evolved a tradition it is in its pure form. I sincerely hope it is revitalised and reclaimed in it's essence.

As a lover of matrimony, I have really appreciated your input here - and I didn't even read the OP. It resonates really strongly with my own study of proper marriage across cultures and through history. I hereby dub you an official NL Marriage Advocate .

Thank you, very much appreciated.


TV

Kimoni:
I had to ask myself if the movement was some form of cult.

Pray tell, what conclusion did you reach


TV

Onegai:
Go to the court and tell them the Mother refuses consent. They will order it. it's that simple. One of your "nna bros" attempted such a stunt in Germany and the Mother immediately applied to the court's for a DNA test and stated he was refusing to give consent yet challenging Paternity. Now the govt deducts the Child support directly from his bank account monthly

Same in France, dude in Marseilles wanted to get his kids to travel to Nigeria to meet family. Mother refused and said she wasn't sure he would bring them back or that he was the Father. He went to court and asked for a DNA test to be administered to clear up paternity. Mother was served with papers. Now his kids hold Nigerian passports as well.

But this is more about you attacking rather than questioning the validity of the statement that "Countries are denying men their rights, we mens is in troubles oh noes"

Nope. The court does not simply order it. The underpinning principle is "in the best interest of the child", hence a number of things can thwart the fathers desire. And the most onerous one being even where the test is carried out and paternity is established as not the mans/husbands, he can still be mandated to pay child support.

The premise that men are unfairly burdened remains. Even if the test establishes paternity is not his and the courts don't enforce child support payments, back payments are not refunded - what if one discovers after 18+ years? A child over 16 does not even have to agree to be tested.

The laws typically winks at the womans indiscretion and passes the cost on to some unlucky fellow. Men be wise

http://www.christianpost.com/news/jailed-for-nonpayment-of-child-support-but-its-not-his-child-92576/
http://truthinmedia.com/state-orders-man-to-pay-30k-in-child-support-or-face-jail-despite-proof-he-is-not-father/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3010327/I-went-without-electricity-days-didn-t-eat-Fury-man-forced-pay-child-support-13-years-girl-s-never-met-despite-DNA-test-proving-s-not-his.html


TV

bukatyne:
@Bold,

Same can said about you . The person whom my post was addressed to has replied.

Have a great weekend

Probably true - just not by you !

bukatyne:
Thankfully you acknowledged that feminism did not start quota system so there is no need listing it as one of the ills of feminism.

Chei! See logic; So because Boko Haram did not invent child abduction, forced marriage, rape or murder, they should not be considered as ills of BH. Like duh! .


TV

Onegai:
Hmm, but the OP is actually wrong.

I mean about the DNA testing in France, Germany and Sweden.

IT IS ILLEGAL TO CONDUCT A SECRET DNA TEST ON A CHILD BECAUSE ACCORDING TO THOSE COUNTRIES' LAWS, IT VIOLATES THEIR RIGHT TO PRIVACY.

The "Disturbing the Peace" falls under that. If you want to get a DNA test, simply apply for a court order which shows the consent of both parents have been given and it will be issued to you immediately. No questions asked. However, some of the men involved in it DO NOT wish their spouse to know they are testing their child (if the child is theirs, they have introduced friction into their relationship by looking for trouble "Disturbing the Peace" so they secretly send the samples abroad for testing.

Even in the US, you cannot get a passport for a child without consent from both parents or a document stating that one parent is dead or unable to give consent (even in jail doesn't count). They won't even let you put anyone's name as the Father on the birth certificate unless you are married (the Father has to go down to the County Clerk's office and declare his name to be put on the bc). This is avoid people naming anyone as the Father and hitting him with child support payments.

All these moves are to protect the child and the Father, no?

I mean, you could have simply asked any of your brothers in those European countries who have gotten babes pregnant and tried to abscond and claim it's not theirs.

And as to why DNA tests are expensive in Nigeria, I thought every reasonable logical person knew everything is inflated in Nigeria for profit.

Right? You knew that right?

oh, wait...

You need to think on the bold some more.

If a woman/mother does not give consent, the test cannot be carried out. Maternity will rarely be in question, ergo the requirement for the consent of both unfairly burdens men, and allows women to demand child support from someone who may not be the father - your post has not overturned the OP.

But you knew that right? .


TV

bukatyne:
@Timbuktou:

Quota system has absolutely nothing to do with feminism.

From admission into Federal Government Colleges to determination of cut off marks, quota system has been used to ensure equal representation in a multi party system.

Feminism sorry.

Really?
From a feminist leaning paper;
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/jan/21/feminists-obsessed-elite-metropolitan-lives-low-paid-females

Some of your pronouncements are totally "like huh?". One really has too question how much you really know - about Christianity and feminism.

After all the time you've spent on NL discussing this - and with the hordes of "intelligent" women and fellow feminists - surely you can do better?

Eku weekend


TV

Kimoni:
And I agree with you. But I'll say those "desires" emanate largely from orientation. If I grew up with a father constantly telling me that I cannot achieve what a man can achieve in this life simply because I am a woman, my aspiration is automatically tailored away from those vocations that are male-dominated. And that would not be because I couldn't do it but I had been made to believe that I couldn't do it, hence I didn't bother trying.

Hate to have to spell it out - I don't really - but it's not about orientation or societal constructs. it's about women's informed choices. Based to a large extent on biological - childbearing - imperatives. And not very many men get to achieve in a comparative or superlative sense either.

All over the West female students are been begged and bribed to take up STEM courses. They ardently and unashamedly refuse to do so. It's female choice - based on preferences. It is what it is.


TV

HenryDion:
If you are trying to lay your views, do that without throwing the perception of others in the dustbin as if you are the "all knowing". That's one of the problem facing this god damn country.

The problem wasn't in the laying down of my views or my perception of yours. The problem was in the gross inanity and thoughtlessness of your post.

And yes, that is the problem with "this country" - gross inanity and thoughtlessness.

HenryDion:
If the so called gays needs a life time commitment in marriage, why stop them? Is it your life?

And who wishes to stop them making a lifetime commitment? The fact is such commitment can never be a marriage - by definition. Same with a "lifetime commitment" to a goat, cat or mosquito. That is why your post is utter nonsense.

A marriage is a lifetime exclusive union betwixt a man and a woman. With certain particulars/restrictions; blood relatedness, age, etc. Only such relationships qualify as marriage. Other relationships - lifetime or not, committed or not - do not qualify.

Further, there is a reason that society endorses marriage and government affords it privileges. Gay relationships do not merit the endorsement of privilege.

HenryDion:
There are gays out there who doesn't even dream of making a life time commitment to a fellow gay because of reason best known to them. What am trying to say is, they should be left alone to do whatever they wanna do as long as nobody is hurt. Is that hard for you to assimilate?

Yes, leave them alone, they should in turn leave marriage alone. Stop demanding we endorse their relationships or privilege their unions. And stop demanding we redefine marriage. Is that too much to ask?

HenryDion:
It aches my heart when i see the so called graduates partaking in jungle justice especially when gays are caught in the act, it shows how lame they really are and am sure you are one of them. Why would you drag 2wo grown up dudes out unclad because you caught them in gay act? Will same sex marriage stop you from getting married? Will it stop you from getting a job?

So now you are guilty of what you accuse me. All knowing? Shut your face. I will not attack or condemn gays for whatever reason. I even believe they should be allowed every access, accommodation and opportunity - human rights. But homosexual behaviour is a vice and should be treated as such

HenryDion:
The only reason why we Nigerians opt into marriage is just to get children, grand children and great, great grand children. Marriage is more than that. Marriage is spending your life with that special person you love so much. That person that makes your world complete.

And children is the only reason marriage came into being. Nobody needs societies endorsement or government support to be with the one "they love". It's the outcome of the male/female union that merits society' acknowledgement and state support

HenryDion:
I would love it if you highlight the reasons why same sex marriage should be frowned upon here in Nigeria.

Highlighted

Kimoni:
You lie

Anybody can be whatever he or she wants to be. If she believes it strongly enough and wants it bad enough, she will do whatever a man can do.

Absolutely true.

But you see the desires of most "she'" is what precludes them from greatness, not discrimination. They don't desire the sacrifice, loneliness, risk, solitude or other extremes that are required for greatness. They prefer comfort, companionship, communing, nurturing and the like.

That is why men lead - in both an authoritative and pioneering sense. It is what it is.


TV

And they came to the BNOD thread to claim that hypergamy was only something that young girls did or Nigerians were concerned about. I responded that in the West it was legally institutionalised - this is just one more example of how.

And consciously or unconsciously, by default - due to our aping the West - or design, it has a foothold here. Any man that has reason to doubt the paternity of his children should take steps to determine the truth.

DNA tests can be carried out with swabs, hair or even toe nail clippings - this can be done reasonably stealthily - whatever the law says. In places where the price of the test may seem prohibitive, I'd ask what cost raising someone elses child for close to 24 years? Men be wise.


TV

salsera:
Phew

Coach TV01

So I started on the diet adjustments asides other proteins I'm doing 5/6eggs a week. The same carbs, fruits vegs and healthy eating

The exercises: I just started (covers face) and so far its the side lunges I dont like, I cant bend low enough
Then for now I'm doing just 1 circuit, I'll build up as I get stamina. I made a few slight adjustments though cos I've a scoliotic back but no danger of injuries.
Choi - dancing was so much easier hehe but even then if I didnt do exercise before dancing na terrible session be dat

I'm working with weights 2kg/no weights for now. I'll build up later.

So for now its Sat&Sun mornings and a few days in the week and I take about 45mins right now.

I'll update in about a months time.

Hi Sal,

Good to hear - especially that you are paying close attention and making adjustments as required. Feel free to swap or modify - not sure if I made it compulsory - the side lunge.

Try not to fall below 3 times a week, and try and reduce the time it takes. You can also make it harder by increasing the "in-between exercises, adding an extra one as appropriate.

Well done. I'll wait to hear.


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HenryDion:
Frankly speaking, i think we should leave these gays alone and face some pressing issues facing this country. I believe in human right, i believe in freewill. Whatever one does with his or her life is solely their business as long as nobody is hurt. If they wanna marry a goat, a cat or even mosquito. Why not let them go ahead? Democracy recognizes the opinion of the majority doesn't mean that the minority views should be discarded totally especially when it comes to issues pertaining to sexuality. Is like forcing a heterosexual guy to be a gay which is emotionally traumatic. For those claiming that gayism is a western culture, i think you should have a rethink cause gayism has been around even before the beginning of the world.

Mind you, am not a gay. Just someone who believes in human right.

I find this post such an unthinking, ill-considered piece of cobblers, I'm almost speechless

Even if gays should simply be "left alone", does that mean that marriage is now what anyone determines it to be? Do you understand what marriage is, what it does, or why it came to be?

No one hinders your relationship with goat, cat or mosquito, but why must you insist, or what gives you the right, to deem it marriage? And what does sexuality have to do with marriage? why are you conflating the two?

You believe in human rights"? Therefore, anyone has the right to term any relationship marriage? A really lazy and muddled piece - presumably predicated on a desire to sound trendy and progressive. Total fail.

Can the slopey fore-heads who liked his post please out themselves


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