₦airaland Forum

ronald4lif:
The difference between a married couple and a cohabitating couple is the marriage cert, a piece of paper which doesn't determine the success or failure of the union.

As NL' M-A-C , I simply couldn't pass without addressing this;

1. If you think marriage is merely a "piece of paper", you - to put it as politely as one can - simply have no idea what marriage is
2. That same faulty thinking is what leads you to tie marital success to a marital certificate, and believe that the difference between both arrangements is "a piece of paper" - really?

You would then need to define "success &/or failure; If it's the staying - happily - together and raising well-adjusted children, marriage is anything from x4 times more likely to produce positive outcomes than co-habiting.

"Co-habees", are more likely to split up, and split up earlier - most especially where children are involved.

ronald4lif:
One can build a family and live happily too without nuptials. That you can't cohabitate doesn't make your decision the better one to those who does.

Absolutely "one" can - indeed, any individual co-hab arrangement may be better than any number of individual marriages - but in most cases they are'nt. Marriage is in fact a better decision and a superior domestic arrangement - especially for women and children.

ronald4lif:
The keyword is happiness. Not what society and organized doctrines believes to be right or wrong.

This bit is not even worthy of a response.


TV

Kimoni:
TV, it's the same thing jor, don't use big grammar to confuse me

Not in this context na? Abi we are no talking good girl vs. bad boy


TV

Kimoni:
And I agree wholeheartedly with the bolded. Sorry I missed it earlier.
As for the last part, I already admitted that Shymexx examples were very extreme. I am on the quiet side but my hubby is very outgoing, I like to be analytical, he is quite spontaneous. We are opposites in several ways but not necessarily bad. I have never been attracted to a quiet man, yet I am quiet . We choose people who complement us. That's what I meant and same logic applies to Shymmmex examples.

That is complemetarity in behaviour/traits/attributes, as opposed to opposite in character. Afterall, there is another aphorism that states "we attract what we are" no? Elevation frees us from all the lower level situational/contextual laws/boundaries.

Kimoni:
Again I have to agree with the bolded **banging my head against the wall**

Note - I corrected the first sentence

Thanks, but it didn't require correcting - I used "men" in the genric human sense - Its implied in the second paragraph and I used people in my earlier response - I could have been clearer I suppose . I'll try harder next time. lest I fall foul of the law of unintended consequences !


TV

Kimoni:
Tim and TV - I just dey laugh both of you ni o. Instruct your sons from today till eternity, what they will do is what they will do. You won't be the only one to teach and influence them in this life baa

What will be will surely be

Kim, men do as instructed, as schooled. It's called nurture. But men who lack instruction, or are unschooled, also "do". They just don't fully grasp the how and why. What they will do is what they are grounded in.

It's not chance and mindless destiny. What will be is what - with faith and grace - they are instructed in. Or do you think the boys that sag, and the girls who like boys that sag, don't learn that? !


TV

Timbuktou:
You should be awarded honorary doctorates from HYP-OB for the part in bold. At the end of the day, it's about feeling entitled and over-valuing one's self . It was a hilarious thread and I saw people with experience trying to wade in, but we all know some people would not let facts stand in the way of fantasy.

My son already knows what is acceptable looks wise, he's just almost five. hehehehe. There is yet hope for the future.

Cheers bro', but me, I gave it up for Crackhaus, Ramdeuter and I believe Mindless on that thread. Way more patient than I am given to be lately. My jaw hit the ground when the dating situation was disconnected from the marriage state. I guess deep some some women peg themselves as girlfriends - whatever that is . Why won't you quantify your relationship - and whole being - in terms of emotional units !

Abi, my boy is barely 3. Knows all about kinship ties and properly structured realtiosnhips. Bloodlines and generational understanding to follow shortly. Once they grow with it, and understand it, it will always inform their choices. He will be raised knowing all about


TV

Kimoni:
That law has been in existence before you and I were born. And it will not change when you and I leave.

In as much as it is tue, it has limits and is contextual.

Kimoni:
TV, how do you make two batteries work? Placing two negative sides together, two positive sides together or placing the positive after the negative side?

That is "polarity", same principle as male/female - there is an outcome for both, vis energy or life.

Kimoni:
And remember I used "often" for humans; because we are humans, there would be a few rare exceptions but naturally, we all tend to attract qualities we don't have.

Again, limits and context. I don't have a womb ! But I ain't gettin; with no plain jane on acount of the fact that I'm foine !

Kimoni:
Shymmex examples are kind of extreme but the phenomenon cannot be argued, so kindly explain why it happens, if you disagree with the law. Why do humans make such choices over and over again?

I explained in my first response to you. People who are cultured/mature/schooled enough to choose with understanding and act wisely are freed from such laws.

Knowledge tells me fornication is bad, understanding gives me insight as to why, and wisdom enables me to choose/act appropriately. Control of - or better still elimination of - a carnal response to my base desires means I am elevated above such laws.

I do it by faith and grace - which I believe has implications and benefits beyond the here and now, but there are other ways to attain to this state.

I used to appraise women "carnally". Then I renewed my mind. Understanding flooded in. So whilst I can still appreciate the leggy girl in the pencil skirt and even be attracted to her, I act on more refined/loftier motivations.

The law is for the ungodly !


TV

Timbuktou:
Hello Bros,

You are indeed, right. Just wasn't in the mood to expatiate ni. Nairaland is such a disappointing brain-killer these days, I type responses most times and then delete them because arguing with ediots can be tiresome. However, I absolutely agree with your comment. The allure of the alpha is most times too hard to ignore and resist, especially for the sexually liberated generation.

Indeed, again I totally agree with this. Gentle as a dove, wise as a serpent, royal as a lion . Please, permit my paraphrasing.

That thread got me laughing. I realise it too late and just opted to not bother responding to the myriad of unrealistic experiences. This indomie generation is unfortunate I have to admit, they are soooo disconnected from reality. The reach of hollywood and Disney stories is more pervasive than we would like to admit. I have a very strong feeling arranged marriages will make a comeback . I will personally vet the homes my children will be marrying from and will teach them to be as discerning as possible for what they should look out for in both spouse and spouse's lineage. Believe me, I have met families where they have a generational disregard for matrimony and legacy.

However, as much as we might have principles, it should be remembered that the law was made for man and not the other way around.

Unrealistic expectation gba ni - predicated on a gargantuan sense of entitlement, multiple blind spots, a self-serving mentality and usually with the bonus of a "princess complex". Any man that's sets to sea upon that emotional seastorm is guaranteed shipwreck.

Gba be 0! I'm already instructing my son in why lineage matters - and not to bring any plain or generously proportioned girls to my house !


TV

Kimoni:
Like poles repel, unlike poles attract. It's a universal law that applies to humans as well.

It's very natural to attract to yourself one who has those qualities that you do not possess and it's doesn't apply to women alone, same law applies to men. The good guys often end up with bad girls and vice versa. It is what it is.

Law ke? Everyone likes good things - and I''m not attracted to my burriful sesi wife 'cos I'm bugly !

I'm of the mind that it's more of "a choice" - based on knowledge, understanding, wisdom and discernment - than a law. Indeed, when you are deficient in any of those areas and make bad choices - and perhaps repeatedly so - it may seem like a law, but it's poor outcomes predicated on poor choices, rooted in some degree of ignorance and probably disordered desire.


TV

Timbuktou:
Shymme3x, the quote above is the conclusion of the whole matter. Women will fvck bad boys but marry nice guys. Pepa is only regretting her Will Smith experience because he'd have made a great husband not that he's such a great guy that it would be logical to be with him, same with Vivica.

Holá T, the cunning ones maybe - but typically, most don't have the smarts to see and appreciate the difference beween thug lovin' and selfless devotion. Even those that can, find it very hard to forego their desire for a "bit of rough" - tendency to stray is high amongst those as well.

For a man, your mission - if you want a wife - is to find one of those pearls or rare value, the subset who are neither silly nor cunning, who are able to appreciate goodness in a man. You yourself have to wrap that goodness in proper masculine traits/behaviour.

Again, for many women, thug lovin, trips the same switches as true masculine traits, they just are not cultured/mature enough to spot the difference. I was reading the "emotionally unavailable" thread . I swear, most women - especially the singles - who post here would be much better off letting their elders choose spouses for them.


TV

tearoses:
Bro coach TV01

I need Motivation HELP!!!!!

...sup sis'?


TV

Pertinent & insightful well done 5mins. I wrote something akin to this a while back. If I can find it, I'll link it here. People meed to be aware. The drive to normalise all manner of deviancy and legalise vice has been foretold. As in the days of Noah"....let the wise take heed and those that fear God watch and pray...


TV

^{https://www.nairaland.com/2357852/im-bored-why-not-yet/1#34547096}

njokusboy:
Lol, ladies and gentlemen, do u think dis lady is accommodating of our view considering the bolded?

Who cares? But anyway, she is right, no one should write rubbish about feminists" - besides, you'll get way more likes for writing the truth about them - "nipple-freeing, free-bleeding, God-hating, rights without responsibilities seeking loonies" .


TV

carnegiefan:
Please not to be misquoted or misunderstood. I did not say that married women had sex willy nilly in traditional Igbo marriages. We still hated and frowned at adultery and the punishment was very harsh.
All I'm saying is that western style marriages laid too much emphasis on sex. In fact it is all based on sex ("love". Hence children suffer if they don't come from that "love".
Igbo saw that love was a vain emotion and rose high above it to protect family and children.
Thats all.

Dude, like wow!

I have loved your insights and grasp of marriage in the Igbo tradition. My admiration for both you and the culture has rocketed. From the little you've written, I can glean how rich and evolved a tradition it is in its pure form. I sincerely hope it is revitalised and reclaimed in it's essence.

As a lover of matrimony, I have really appreciated your input here - and I didn't even read the OP. It resonates really strongly with my own study of proper marriage across cultures and through history. I hereby dub you an official NL Marriage Advocate .

Thank you, very much appreciated.


TV

Kimoni:
I had to ask myself if the movement was some form of cult.

Pray tell, what conclusion did you reach


TV

Onegai:
Go to the court and tell them the Mother refuses consent. They will order it. it's that simple. One of your "nna bros" attempted such a stunt in Germany and the Mother immediately applied to the court's for a DNA test and stated he was refusing to give consent yet challenging Paternity. Now the govt deducts the Child support directly from his bank account monthly

Same in France, dude in Marseilles wanted to get his kids to travel to Nigeria to meet family. Mother refused and said she wasn't sure he would bring them back or that he was the Father. He went to court and asked for a DNA test to be administered to clear up paternity. Mother was served with papers. Now his kids hold Nigerian passports as well.

But this is more about you attacking rather than questioning the validity of the statement that "Countries are denying men their rights, we mens is in troubles oh noes"

Nope. The court does not simply order it. The underpinning principle is "in the best interest of the child", hence a number of things can thwart the fathers desire. And the most onerous one being even where the test is carried out and paternity is established as not the mans/husbands, he can still be mandated to pay child support.

The premise that men are unfairly burdened remains. Even if the test establishes paternity is not his and the courts don't enforce child support payments, back payments are not refunded - what if one discovers after 18+ years? A child over 16 does not even have to agree to be tested.

The laws typically winks at the womans indiscretion and passes the cost on to some unlucky fellow. Men be wise

http://www.christianpost.com/news/jailed-for-nonpayment-of-child-support-but-its-not-his-child-92576/
http://truthinmedia.com/state-orders-man-to-pay-30k-in-child-support-or-face-jail-despite-proof-he-is-not-father/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3010327/I-went-without-electricity-days-didn-t-eat-Fury-man-forced-pay-child-support-13-years-girl-s-never-met-despite-DNA-test-proving-s-not-his.html


TV

bukatyne:
@Bold,

Same can said about you . The person whom my post was addressed to has replied.

Have a great weekend

Probably true - just not by you !

bukatyne:
Thankfully you acknowledged that feminism did not start quota system so there is no need listing it as one of the ills of feminism.

Chei! See logic; So because Boko Haram did not invent child abduction, forced marriage, rape or murder, they should not be considered as ills of BH. Like duh! .


TV

Onegai:
Hmm, but the OP is actually wrong.

I mean about the DNA testing in France, Germany and Sweden.

IT IS ILLEGAL TO CONDUCT A SECRET DNA TEST ON A CHILD BECAUSE ACCORDING TO THOSE COUNTRIES' LAWS, IT VIOLATES THEIR RIGHT TO PRIVACY.

The "Disturbing the Peace" falls under that. If you want to get a DNA test, simply apply for a court order which shows the consent of both parents have been given and it will be issued to you immediately. No questions asked. However, some of the men involved in it DO NOT wish their spouse to know they are testing their child (if the child is theirs, they have introduced friction into their relationship by looking for trouble "Disturbing the Peace" so they secretly send the samples abroad for testing.

Even in the US, you cannot get a passport for a child without consent from both parents or a document stating that one parent is dead or unable to give consent (even in jail doesn't count). They won't even let you put anyone's name as the Father on the birth certificate unless you are married (the Father has to go down to the County Clerk's office and declare his name to be put on the bc). This is avoid people naming anyone as the Father and hitting him with child support payments.

All these moves are to protect the child and the Father, no?

I mean, you could have simply asked any of your brothers in those European countries who have gotten babes pregnant and tried to abscond and claim it's not theirs.

And as to why DNA tests are expensive in Nigeria, I thought every reasonable logical person knew everything is inflated in Nigeria for profit.

Right? You knew that right?

oh, wait...

You need to think on the bold some more.

If a woman/mother does not give consent, the test cannot be carried out. Maternity will rarely be in question, ergo the requirement for the consent of both unfairly burdens men, and allows women to demand child support from someone who may not be the father - your post has not overturned the OP.

But you knew that right? .


TV

bukatyne:
@Timbuktou:

Quota system has absolutely nothing to do with feminism.

From admission into Federal Government Colleges to determination of cut off marks, quota system has been used to ensure equal representation in a multi party system.

Feminism sorry.

Really?
From a feminist leaning paper;
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/jan/21/feminists-obsessed-elite-metropolitan-lives-low-paid-females

Some of your pronouncements are totally "like huh?". One really has too question how much you really know - about Christianity and feminism.

After all the time you've spent on NL discussing this - and with the hordes of "intelligent" women and fellow feminists - surely you can do better?

Eku weekend


TV

Kimoni:
And I agree with you. But I'll say those "desires" emanate largely from orientation. If I grew up with a father constantly telling me that I cannot achieve what a man can achieve in this life simply because I am a woman, my aspiration is automatically tailored away from those vocations that are male-dominated. And that would not be because I couldn't do it but I had been made to believe that I couldn't do it, hence I didn't bother trying.

Hate to have to spell it out - I don't really - but it's not about orientation or societal constructs. it's about women's informed choices. Based to a large extent on biological - childbearing - imperatives. And not very many men get to achieve in a comparative or superlative sense either.

All over the West female students are been begged and bribed to take up STEM courses. They ardently and unashamedly refuse to do so. It's female choice - based on preferences. It is what it is.


TV

HenryDion:
If you are trying to lay your views, do that without throwing the perception of others in the dustbin as if you are the "all knowing". That's one of the problem facing this god damn country.

The problem wasn't in the laying down of my views or my perception of yours. The problem was in the gross inanity and thoughtlessness of your post.

And yes, that is the problem with "this country" - gross inanity and thoughtlessness.

HenryDion:
If the so called gays needs a life time commitment in marriage, why stop them? Is it your life?

And who wishes to stop them making a lifetime commitment? The fact is such commitment can never be a marriage - by definition. Same with a "lifetime commitment" to a goat, cat or mosquito. That is why your post is utter nonsense.

A marriage is a lifetime exclusive union betwixt a man and a woman. With certain particulars/restrictions; blood relatedness, age, etc. Only such relationships qualify as marriage. Other relationships - lifetime or not, committed or not - do not qualify.

Further, there is a reason that society endorses marriage and government affords it privileges. Gay relationships do not merit the endorsement of privilege.

HenryDion:
There are gays out there who doesn't even dream of making a life time commitment to a fellow gay because of reason best known to them. What am trying to say is, they should be left alone to do whatever they wanna do as long as nobody is hurt. Is that hard for you to assimilate?

Yes, leave them alone, they should in turn leave marriage alone. Stop demanding we endorse their relationships or privilege their unions. And stop demanding we redefine marriage. Is that too much to ask?

HenryDion:
It aches my heart when i see the so called graduates partaking in jungle justice especially when gays are caught in the act, it shows how lame they really are and am sure you are one of them. Why would you drag 2wo grown up dudes out unclad because you caught them in gay act? Will same sex marriage stop you from getting married? Will it stop you from getting a job?

So now you are guilty of what you accuse me. All knowing? Shut your face. I will not attack or condemn gays for whatever reason. I even believe they should be allowed every access, accommodation and opportunity - human rights. But homosexual behaviour is a vice and should be treated as such

HenryDion:
The only reason why we Nigerians opt into marriage is just to get children, grand children and great, great grand children. Marriage is more than that. Marriage is spending your life with that special person you love so much. That person that makes your world complete.

And children is the only reason marriage came into being. Nobody needs societies endorsement or government support to be with the one "they love". It's the outcome of the male/female union that merits society' acknowledgement and state support

HenryDion:
I would love it if you highlight the reasons why same sex marriage should be frowned upon here in Nigeria.

Highlighted

Kimoni:
You lie

Anybody can be whatever he or she wants to be. If she believes it strongly enough and wants it bad enough, she will do whatever a man can do.

Absolutely true.

But you see the desires of most "she'" is what precludes them from greatness, not discrimination. They don't desire the sacrifice, loneliness, risk, solitude or other extremes that are required for greatness. They prefer comfort, companionship, communing, nurturing and the like.

That is why men lead - in both an authoritative and pioneering sense. It is what it is.


TV

And they came to the BNOD thread to claim that hypergamy was only something that young girls did or Nigerians were concerned about. I responded that in the West it was legally institutionalised - this is just one more example of how.

And consciously or unconsciously, by default - due to our aping the West - or design, it has a foothold here. Any man that has reason to doubt the paternity of his children should take steps to determine the truth.

DNA tests can be carried out with swabs, hair or even toe nail clippings - this can be done reasonably stealthily - whatever the law says. In places where the price of the test may seem prohibitive, I'd ask what cost raising someone elses child for close to 24 years? Men be wise.


TV

salsera:
Phew

Coach TV01

So I started on the diet adjustments asides other proteins I'm doing 5/6eggs a week. The same carbs, fruits vegs and healthy eating

The exercises: I just started (covers face) and so far its the side lunges I dont like, I cant bend low enough
Then for now I'm doing just 1 circuit, I'll build up as I get stamina. I made a few slight adjustments though cos I've a scoliotic back but no danger of injuries.
Choi - dancing was so much easier hehe but even then if I didnt do exercise before dancing na terrible session be dat

I'm working with weights 2kg/no weights for now. I'll build up later.

So for now its Sat&Sun mornings and a few days in the week and I take about 45mins right now.

I'll update in about a months time.

Hi Sal,

Good to hear - especially that you are paying close attention and making adjustments as required. Feel free to swap or modify - not sure if I made it compulsory - the side lunge.

Try not to fall below 3 times a week, and try and reduce the time it takes. You can also make it harder by increasing the "in-between exercises, adding an extra one as appropriate.

Well done. I'll wait to hear.


Best
TV

HenryDion:
Frankly speaking, i think we should leave these gays alone and face some pressing issues facing this country. I believe in human right, i believe in freewill. Whatever one does with his or her life is solely their business as long as nobody is hurt. If they wanna marry a goat, a cat or even mosquito. Why not let them go ahead? Democracy recognizes the opinion of the majority doesn't mean that the minority views should be discarded totally especially when it comes to issues pertaining to sexuality. Is like forcing a heterosexual guy to be a gay which is emotionally traumatic. For those claiming that gayism is a western culture, i think you should have a rethink cause gayism has been around even before the beginning of the world.

Mind you, am not a gay. Just someone who believes in human right.

I find this post such an unthinking, ill-considered piece of cobblers, I'm almost speechless

Even if gays should simply be "left alone", does that mean that marriage is now what anyone determines it to be? Do you understand what marriage is, what it does, or why it came to be?

No one hinders your relationship with goat, cat or mosquito, but why must you insist, or what gives you the right, to deem it marriage? And what does sexuality have to do with marriage? why are you conflating the two?

You believe in human rights"? Therefore, anyone has the right to term any relationship marriage? A really lazy and muddled piece - presumably predicated on a desire to sound trendy and progressive. Total fail.

Can the slopey fore-heads who liked his post please out themselves


TV

freecocoa:
TV01 I first have to ask, do you have anything against me? Cos you sure sound like you do.

That would require a narrative response !

freecocoa:
Firstly, you do have to understand that whatever I write about me on here is strictly my business and well within my rights, so I shouldn't care whatever sight it makes to you or anyone for that matter.

Exactly right. Your business, your rights, yours to care or not. But when you put things into the public domain, it becomes subject to public scrutiny and comment.

freecocoa:
No where in that post of mine did you read that I make a better case for gay rights than he, or even If I did, I never said that was the proof of me being more intelligent, I said I wanted him to agree with me when we argue on that, if otherwise, please feel to show me, btw don't I have the right to think myself more intelligent than anyone?

So you didn't actually make a better case - based on your vaunted intelligence - but still expect him to agree? . It's even worse than I thought - sounds borderline pathological.

And you can think what you like - as you are finding when you discuss gay rights - nobody has to agree with you

freecocoa:
You fail to realise that, the topic wasn't about religion, as basic as it might be, I am at liberty to seek opinions on it as it is an area where experience is key, plus I didn't even say I am more intelligent than christians, seriously am trying so hard to understand why you would make such statement? Na wa o.

No it wasn't about religion, but you took views from those whom religion informs their positions.
Not explicitly perhaps, but it's writ large in your comments and the inane threads you start. And others pointed it out to you.

freecocoa:
You haven't made any points with the friend statements at all, it is very glaring that the issue with the ex is about me given the way it was presented in the OP, so I don't see how that is supposed to change anything but if you are implying that other issue where I asked about a friend, is also about me, then over mistaken is your middle name.

Did you even read what I wrote? I plainly stated that your problem is manifestly worse than hers and your lamentation sounded decidedly fake! As you quickly moved on to your real passion - you! Emotional intelligence is patently your biggest failing .

freecocoa:
See me see trouble o, it is very obvious that your problem is with me thinking myself intelligent, I think myself intelligent in the absolute sense ni o my dear, now what others think about that is relative, as can clearly be seen here, you think I'm the dumbest one on here as you so tacitly have shown but someone else will think otherwise.

No, not that you think yourself intelligent, but that you present as extremely hubristic and hypocritical.

freecocoa:
I have nothing to prove to you as you are not a judge of intelligence, anyone can claim to be intelligent, till you beat me at a standard test for measure of intelligence, will I take you as more intelligent than I am.

I have zero desire for you to prove anything to anyone, you are the only one prating about her intelligence, and standardized IQ tests are not necessarily the perfect or only measure of intelligence.

freecocoa:
All you've done so far, is tell your opinion of me and because I am intelligent, I understand that it's something you are entitled to but doesn't define me.

I have no desire to define you, but neither does your vain claim to intelligence - especially when you are seriously considering marriage with a man you consider lacking intelligence, too short, not witty (enough), sartorially inept, rough around the edges (to be polite), suffering from anger issues and diametrically opposed in terms of faith.

See how you trashed the brother . Indeed, it says as much about your own sense of self-worth as his qualities and how seething with issues you must be, to talk as if you can pick him up or dump him at will and seriously be considering marriage. With all your carping about how equal and independent you are, you can't figure this small issue or get with someone "equally intelligent or matching in terms of qualities" .

I was actually interested to hear the case you would make for gays - now it's not even there . Shift jor. And not only would it take a modicum of smarts to see that is he not right for you, you are far from being ready for marriage - to anybody.


TV

edwife:
I wouldn't have said a word if i were you,i am someone who always mind my business and try not to get on someone's way.Beside,that Lagos scares me to death,in fact anywhere in Nigeria except Abuja.

@TV that was brutal.....

...wait for it !


TV

freecocoa:
Lol, you can still try. You know, you can only guess, you can never be sure my dear.

Guess? Try?? Theres no need of a gift of discernemnt or prophetic insight here. I've had the benefit - and I use the term loosely - of a lot of your posts on this forum. You've all but laid yourself bare - and it's not a pretty sight

Your romantic befuddlement apart - which I may yet touch on, I wonder why you consider the fact that you can make a better case for "gay rights" than your ex any indication that you are intelligent, or that you are right on that score? If you are sure of your position, intelligence and your ability to present it, please outline the case here.

Still on your intelligence; You consider yourself intelligent, and with a smug assurance that you are more intelligent than Christians? Yet here you are asking women who mostly identify as Christians, God-fearing or at least theistic/deistic, about a situation that is so basic, that you can’t even see or admit the obvious?

Intelligent, when you first trotted out a friends issue, and feigned lamentation about despairing for her – when you own issue is manifestly worse. Intelligent, when you went to great lengths to disguise your issue. First by layering it with your friends, then by identifying it as “someone else”.

You think yourself intelligent? Really? In an absolute or relative sense? I have seen absolutely no evidence of either in all the years I’ve known of you on this forum. It’s not demonstrated in your writing - no searing insight, no acute analysis, nothing – or even the topics you weigh in on, or the threads that you open – yes I double-checked.

I'll actually be surprised if you respond to my challenge and not just high tail it back to the girls thread where you'll be cosseted and comforted in your neurosis. But lets see if you can at least prove yourself more intelligent than lil' ole Joe Average here !


TV

freecocoa:
TV01, you mentioned me but it's like you changed your mind, why is that?

I did mention you, but only in reference to Salseras post. What I changed my mind about was responding to "your plight" myself. I would have told you about yourself in 3-D and served those who had earlier advised you sour wine . But as Salsera hit it in short measure and was extremely tactful, I thought I'd leave it .

TV

7. Makes babies
8. Bonds spouses


TV

bodashee:
Two options were open to me. I could have kept quiet and watched the guy jump the queue like everyone else, or spoke up like I did. I'm which you think would have been best? basically.

I think you were absolutely right - and courageous - to speak up.

Obviously you took stock of any potential danger in your speaking beforehand - you know the terrian better than I do. I would have suggested you made the point by saying how he had made a mockery of the law/societal protocol, and all those who adhered to it, as opposed to making it about "your place" in the queue or "your right" to enter before him.

And I wouldn't necessarily have made a fuss about entering before him - not least because there was no danger of your not getting a seat. That way you don't come across as aggressive/attitudinal and merely pained on your own behalf. You are also more likely to have others support you - not that their support was your aim. The naysayers may have seen it as you just wanting to prove a point, as opposed to decrying lawlessness.


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^{[size=2pt]...Salsera. What's up? I'm expecting feedback. Great last post. Stopped me having to weigh in unrestrained and unleash some whup ass on Freecocoa[/size]}

Sa, Sa, Sa, Sagamite, omo Sagamu fun ara re! How far now? Not to derail, but its been a while. Good to see you hale and hearty and regulating without a care.

Pliss sa, now that your role model George Clooney has tied the knot, will you be reviewing your position vis-a-viz marriage?


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ApexTitan:
While you may find it hard to believe so there are many men who are totally sold on the idea of the Disney-styled approach to relationships and marriage. In just going with their hearts they fall under the impression, or delusion even, that they have found/will find their own special snowflake.

I'm not married but I used to think like that at one point myself. Thank the heavens that I have come to a better understanding. On my occasional excursions on social media when I come across photos of old flames from my university days I'm filled with feelings of gratitude walahi, e for rough for my side.

The way men are "socialised" these days, it's an awakening they'll pretty much all go through. Unfortunately for some, it wil be a "rude awakening".

Men are increasingly taught that their worth comes from pleasing - and even being like - women. The singular aim of pleasing women is like stoking a fire until it's out of control. What they should do is establish their worth - with reference to and amongst men - and get the women they please.


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