₦airaland Forum

RoyalRoy:
[color=#000033] This is very practical.

Working for me now!!!


#TeamGoYoungStayHappy.

[/color]

Good to hear dude!

coogar:
so which is which?
to marry an old woman or to marry a young one?

Please marry old and report back to us .

I’ve said my own – and just too be clear, I’m not saying that every man at any age should marry a young girl, I am saying – generally – alignment will be better if the woman is relatively younger.

One can factor for outliers and unusual situations – and every relationship is bespoke – but it’s a good rule of thumb. Not far from the “half your age +7 years” rule, which has been around forever.

As for the sex piece in particular, from what I’ve seen and heard, I know the “women reach their peak at 40 is a myth. It makes no sense.

Are women really telling us that their desire increases as they age, after they have children, as their bodies lose their vigour and as menopause kicks in are more active than in their youth?

Yes, I admit that in certain circumstances sex may still be thoroughly enjoyable, but it will not be desired as much or as frenetic as previous.

And for many the worries of work, childcare, bills etc. occupy them so much - with little time for exercise, healthy living etc. – that libido takes a hike.

And yes this affects, men and women, but women have more of the earlier mentioned physical issues to deal with. Testosterone is a thing, the “drive differentials” are real. It’s more an “impulse” with men and more an “emotional connection” with women.

Men, tread carefully and choose wisely. Paint two scenarios in your head; a 35 man marrying a 25 year old, or a 35 man marrying a 34 year old. How do you think that will play out, what pressures will come to bear?


TV

adanmaonu1:
Hello Nairalanders

...as promised. I initially responded as I sensed that despite it all, you wish, if at all possible, to restore your marriage. I continue on that basis.

Lots of questions about the foundations & genesis of your relationship - all you've managed to do is give both love and Christianity bad names. Ironically the two in truth envelop each other. If it was love you truly felt, submission wouldn't be an issue, and if he was truly a Christian, you would have discerned that, assuming you are one yourself? But let's not look to far back for now.

Husband:
Obviously immature to a degree - even if only in response to your actions. He would be well served by some serious counselling. As would you both. Individually and jointly. But first, you need to both commit to restoration; whether you do, don't, or if you use family, church or professionals.

I would suggest you humbly approach him baring your soul and referencing the hope and expectation you entered this marriage with. Acknowledge his headship and ask for his support as you both work to rekindle a loving relationship.

Check your "equal rights" mentality at the door and start to think sacrificially as marriage often demands. To restore you need him back onside, vested in the marriage and committed to you and your child.

Third Parties:
Regardless of proximity, his parents are best left out of this, as is your aunt - unless things are actually that precarious. Families and friends can stoke fires and will nurse grudges long after you have reconciled. Your neighbours will just use you for cheap gist.

As mentioned keep the law far from your home if you desire to retrieve this situation. What he will go through in their hands can engender the kind of indignation that he will find hard to forgive you for - ever. There are fewer worse kinds of emasculation for a man.

The police - by default or design - humiliate the black men they take into custody. Especially for accusations of DV. I have seen men subsequently play nice, relocate the family to Nigeria and then exact a tortuous revenge. Are you trying to restore your home or blow up your marriage? If the latter,many have already provided a road map.

Submission:
I actually feel that, being submissive in the genuine sense would have really avoided a lot of the pain you have experienced. You've pulled the old "I will do as my husband says, as long as it makes sense to me" card. There' a real sense of you "dragging" headship with him.

Not saying that joint a/c's are a must, but why truly did you refuse? What were the reasons you wanted the arrangement you put forth? I note your lamentation about "being used"?

How and why? And you were comfortable enough to afford a car out of your savings no? He couldn't have been taking all of your money and he was taking care of the big ticket financial items. Was this a case of "my money, mine, his money ours" attitude?

For whatever reason, you did not engage in this relationship in a way that engendered trust or recognised his headship - you were actually the very opposite of submission. Whether this was due to foundational issues or character flaws, I can't say. However, restoration is possible.

Was the project in Nigeria one you didnlt agree with or didn't have full transparency on. Were his family involved? Was it part of your joint L/T plans?

I sometimes wonder at the dynamic of relationships and how individuals understand and approach marriage. If indeed your husband is simply wilfully violent without cause, and brutalises you absent rhyme or reason, then you best act to ensure the safety of yourself and your daughter. As noted, contributors here have already outlined how you can leverage the legal system to seriously hurt two individuals and scar a young child.

All the best to you and your family as you work your way through this.


TV

adanmaonu1:
Hello Nairalanders

Hello Ada,

Maybe it’s the punctuation or maybe it’s how I’m reading your OP, but there appear to be inconsistencies in your story. Anyway, for discussions sake, I will take your story as read and respond accordingly.

First of all, you spend a good portion of your post talking about the domestic situation between you, and rather less about “physical altercations”, which would appear more pressing?

So I’ll start there. I like the fact that you made it clear that the two of you “fought”. In reading some of the responses, it would at first appear that a significant amount of one-sided husband inflicted DV was going on here – that is not the case. Advice #1, ignore such posts.

What is clear from your own words, is that this is a heated relationship which often gets physical. Having said that, my position is that a man should ensure all restraint to prevent physically assaulting his wife.

And as a wife, you must not give in to misguided notions that physically engaging your husband in this way will reap long-term dividends. If you want a long and joyous union, do not succumb to dumb thinking like “ a man must never lay hands on a woman for any reason” and at the same time think that you can relentlessly provoke or even assault him.

I commend you that you did not let the law intervene in your marriage, when it would have been so tempting to do so. You acted more wisely than you may comprehend at this point– if saving and going on to enjoy your marriage is your aim.

I’ll hopefully be back later to complete.


TV

...men don't run from anything. They meet it head on and deal with it, or they demur.


TV

This thread is insightful.

In a fit of pique a wife comes in and dishes out a one-sided rant trashing her husband. Mature, sensible advisors come in and counsel patience, wisdom and long-term strategies to effect the change she desires. Others come in spitting bricks, insisting on being victimised on OP's behalf and taking the liberty of traducing someone elses spouse. What can I say?

KYP - Know Your Posters !

Ewuro4:
Hahaha tell me about it TV?

Men.

I specially asked last night as we were pottering in the kitchen - a big smile came over her face as she sensed the opportunity to dish all my ills - with jara

After much thought she could only find 1 thing. I exhorted her to try harder. Finally she claimed that I leave the liquid iron supplement bottle "sticky" when I use it, and she has to "rinse it sometimes before use. "You old nag" I said, "upstairs, I will show you rinsing".

I've come a long way baby !


TV

Go young, young man, go young.

I often talk about marrying a woman significantly younger in a light hearted manner.  And whilst I advise this in an ATBE/generic manner, believe me, there is sound reasoning behind this.

We have spoken at length about female hypergamy, so no need to revisit this. Needless to say, women typically seek higher status in their partners (marital or otherwise), and this should enable you gain a “head-start” in terms of being mature and establishing yourself.

This will help greatly in your relationship as she will be more likely to “look up to you”, as opposed to try and compete/outmanoeuvre you at every turn – in itself a passion killer.

Older women – as an inevitability of time – tend to not be as shapely or nubile as younger women. They are also likely to have had more partners  - unpicking why this is a bad thing requires separate treatment.

They also tend to have more baggage, and are probably more set in their ways. Not to mention more likely to try and game/pressure you into marriage due to their age.

But one of the big reasons, is sex. The conversational flow around here would make one believe that women are every bit as libidinous as men. This is simply not true. As a general – if not universal -  rule, men are much more libidinous than women.

This disparity becomes more pronounced the older men/women – the couple  - get. One huge myth is how womens sexuality heightens and peaks around 39/40 – please, please, please, don’t fall for that one. It makes no sense in terms of the biological imperative for childbirth and the onset of menopause.

Indeed, if one looked at things historically, perhaps people would be more considered before throwing around senseless tropes like “all men are dogs”, “culture calls men studs and women sluts”  etc., would not be thrown around so casually.

Across cultures and through time, men and women, husbands and wives have accommodated this differential by the introduction of 2nd wives, or winking at the presence of mistresses.

Sex for men is mostly physical, so unlike women the impulse cannot be readily transferred to children or other forms of social interaction.

It often happens, that as women have given birth, are becoming pre-occupied with domestic issues, are becoming pre-occupied more with “social events”, and becoming further removed from their youthful “hotness”, that men are at the peak of the careers, have as much status as they are likely to attain, are still in reasonably good shape, and receiving more attention from women.

Now culturally, monogamy is the norm. All the more reason to avail yourself of a wife you will be in physical consonance with. You are likely to be more indulgent and patient with a younger wife, as well as mature enough to support her through rough patches.

Lastly, please don’t be fooled by pre-marital sex, or even honeymoon romps. Women will work tactically to seal the deal and then revise strategically as things change – in all likelihood, your desire for sex won’t

Presumes;
1.  You are a mature and responsible man – set on creating a family legacy
2.  You are  a man in good shape,  or who is set on being so - and maintaining it.
3.  Mongamy is your model
4.  I said ATBE, if you meet an outlier in any sense, factor accordingly


Disclaimer
1. I did this and it works

 
TV

^{...please cease and desist with the weave talk !}

Stillfire:
Deceiving my girls? Lol. Let me give you some realities as a naija girl in the diaspora, seeing that you are not a girl and are not privy to these secret truths.

I'm all ears !

Stillfire:
We don't have inhibitions to date outside the race like black american women, thereby increasing our pool of eligible candidates.

It's a lie! The black female is the most tightly bound to her male counterpart. If only because therein lies the true testosterone match . White men rarely meet up, and typically shy away, knowing they can't.

As for Middle-Eastern, Asian and Chinese men, how many of them do you see with black women? I'm sure such pairings exist, but they are rarer than hens teeth and as ubiquitous as crocodile tears !

Stillfire:
Most of us are educated and more likely to meet like minds, who are mostly white in professional places.

As above it's about physical attraction before it's a meeting of minds,this counts for very little.

Stillfire:
We don't boast that other races are interested, that is the forte of Nigerian men...that is- to be excited over whiteness as evident on this thread.

Boast ke? The facts speak for themselves. Black men are coveted. And as other races of men become increasingly "feminised", even more so.
No need to boast, but the bragging rights our ours !

Stillfire:
This is akin to foreigners in Nigeria dating and marrying Nigerian girls. Nobody makes noise. It's no big deal. If a Nigerian man is in Europe, who is he more likely to date? A Nigerian? lol. Geography definitely is not naija men's strongest subject.

Not really - it's just the cold hard facts; in the global dating market the black women is losing out and must make do with whatever she can get.

Stillfire:
Nigerian girls are usually slender, no overblown curves, very apt for the white demographic. We are not stereotypical loud either because we were fortunate not to have grown up here . We are foreign, exotic and men like our accents as well. It's sexy.

"Nigerian girls" and "slender" in the same sentence? And they are not fighting?? Girl you need your own show "Stilly' Stand-Up ! Exotic?? Girl stop. Where would I even start?

Stillfire:
So you see me, my sisters and friends tick all these boxes, so we don't try 'hard' to find suitors. They are two a penny in me world.

For a small percentage of your demographic there will be some heart-warming success, encouraging stories and moments of hope. But all round, the picture is dismal. Face facts; black women are bottom of the desirability scale - even in black countries sef.

Stillfire:
Instead it's naija men always trying too hard to get my number, lol. White men always get the best of black women!

Naija men doing what Naija men do. Flexing . Because when all is said and done, you still prefer us, and we still handle you best. I have so many testimonies of black women with white men thinking they're "missing something". But other races with black men always got the "cat that got the cream look". No gainsaying !

Stillfire:
Naija men always trying to feel needed...lmao.
I grew up in Nigeria, I don see Naija man nyansh finishhhhhhhhhh. There is no thrill there. What can a naija man do or say to excite me? ehn TV?

Again, a few will feel this way, but the vast majority would always have a "brother" if they had their way. Your case is at best the exception that proves the rule.

African love is still viable, black romance is a thing ! Quit the self-delusion, work hard, respect complimentarity, and lay hold of what is yours by right. Stop settling for reduced melanin content ! We'll work with you for the common good. Don't fool the majority with testimonies of a few odd cases.

Hailing all SBW & BQ's


TV

pickabeau1:
Yes that was my intent with the word 'look'
The outlook from where I look does not look good

And that's why marriage in it's essence has to be rediscovered, taught and modelled. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it, it's just been abused and now perverted.

pickabeau1:
How can a pre teen be saying he does not want to marry so that one woman will not come and deprive him of his money?

I once had the most jaundiced view of marriage, but God be thanked, part of my journey was rediscovering it in spirit and truth. The bible opens and closes with weddings. To pervert marriage is to mock Gods unfolding plan.

pickabeau1:
Good to have you post
I wonder how any one can believe such research but that research is the basis for the adoption option for SSM
The Family is truly in flux...

Social science is in some ways barely deseving of the name science. It is not as rigid as real science and is very subjective - hence easily amenable to ideological manipulation - from either side.

SSM is not a thing - we shall see how it unfolds and how "global" it truly gets.


TV

Stillfire:
You better date outside your race, tribe, and the whole nonsense. Expand your horizons. Many Naija girls are in interracial relationships. They don't just make noise because it's not a big deal

Stilly! Stilly!! Stilly!!! How now?

Please, stop decieving your gals now, quit misleading the sisters. The "many" you used up there is in a relative sense. Unfortunately for black women, they are at the bottom of the hierarchy when it comes to "global mate choice".

In absolute terms, and where there is choice, very few non-black men want black women. Black men on the other hand are pretty much at the top - and our stock continues to rise. Please make peace with these facts and encourage the sisters to "try harder".

One love
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WI-xQ7IksUc


TV

@OP - is that it? If only you could share notes with my wife, you will drop to your knees in thanksgiving

Now, let me give you a tip; you've made it very clear that it displeases you. Don't ever mention it again and give strong focus to doing the things he likes and pleasing him in other ways.

TV

pickabeau1:
Maybe we need to look at marriage again
Is it still necessary...

Look in the sense of regaining the meaning and understanding it's function, not look as in tinker with it. Marriage as a concept/institution is perfect - it's (some of) the participants who are struggling.

Necessary? It's crucial - and nothing has been put forward that improves it, or is superior to it. How can? God did it .

pickabeau1:
At your bolded, research has shown there is no difference between kids in a two parent household and those raised by a single mother or even against those raised by 2 same sex parents
Dodgy

You are trolling abi

There is no such research - not in a thorough, unbiased, properly factored sense anyway. Lots of shoddy research and pseudo-science pushed forward to make the case for "gay marriage".

We don't have the longitudinal data to clearly discuss outcomes for children raised in SS households. The outcomes of single parent households have been with us for a while - especially single mothers.

A SP household is a great predictor of poverty and generational pathologies - 60% of single-parent households fall into poperty. I don't dispute that an enduring 2 parent, opposite sex pairing is equivalent to a maried couple ATBE.

However a married couple with children are still more likey to remain intact for a longer period than an unmarried pair.

From the Gayctivist-in-Chief himself; http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/15/us/politics/15text-obama.html?pagewanted=print&_r=0
...excerpt; We know the statistics – that children who grow up without a father are five times more likely to live in poverty and commit crime; nine times more likely to drop out of schools and twenty times more likely to end up in prison. They are more likely to have behavioral problems, or run away from home, or become teenage parents themselves. And the foundations of our community are weaker because of it.

You've baited me this morning sha

TV^MIC

tearoses:
TV01 How is your family? Hope ur all good
I tried the grilled chicken on Sunday. I rubbed with my sabo suya seasoning and turned the heat really low . . . .lovely. Thank you Jare

We are well jare. How far?

Good to hear - you need to share recipe/source for the seasoning 0! Planning BBQ at some point - it sounds like it may wow the guests.


TV

5minsmadness:
TV01 hello,
I have been an avid ghost follower of your dieting and exercise tips and I want to commend you for a job well done.
I recently discovered seafood (octupus and calamari to be exact) and wanted to know if it's a good health chioce. I intend to use it in replacing my savories, meats and pork.

Cheers bro'.

I am not that familiar re cooking with octopus, although I do know its considered quite nutritious. I wonder about pricing and how readily available it is - although I probably shouldn't as I visit a fishmongers every week. I'll certainly ask, and look into this myself.

We don't really buy red meat at home, with the exception of goat meat occasionally when entertaining. I'm also keen to incorporate lamb which I really like but haven't quite mastered.

I'll have a steak sometimes when eating out and I'm on an eternal quest for "the steak". Pork is off-menu for wifey so typically don't, but may if I'm out with others.

Sounds like a good choice all round.

TV

^{...abeg 0, chill for our lil' sister Coco - she's turning all progressive on us, but we need to be there for her when she comes to her senses !}

bukatyne:
Hi, How are you and family?

Very well jare - I trust likewise

bukatyne:
It is a fact that most of Nigerian husbands with earning wives are NOT primary providers.

Please evidence this fact - until you do, it remains an opinion; no matterhow strongly asserted.

Or perhaps be kind enough to explicate on wht you mean by "primary providor". I would equate it to "main", but be it main or sole, men are still "primary"

bukatyne:
There is a difference between primary provider and sole provider so single mothers is outside the scope of this discussion.

We know that, and the inclusion of single mothers was just to show that even if we include them, men still remain the "main providor" in most households.

bukatyne:
IMHO only a single mother who does not get any form of child/spousal support can claim to be a sole breadwinner.

This is irrelevent, but it is what the reports are based on. Earners/breadwinners - whatever the structure of the household.


TV

bukatyne:
So NOT true.

Nothing wrong with joint spending (to me that 's the ideal) BUT the idea that many Nigerian husbands are primary bread winners is a fallacy spinned on Nairaland

Hello Bukatyne, How far? Agreed on "joint spending", noting that does not necessarily denote equal.

But I'm still going to have to challenge you on this one . Can you show any reputable source that confirms "many" husbands are not the primary bread winners in Nigerian families? Let alone in "most" homes husbands are the primary bread winners in Nigeria?

What you've boldly termed a "NL bourne fallacy" is the real life situation of many in Nigeria. I doubt you'll even find anything to the contrary.
https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/67332/Gender-Nigeria2012-summary.pdf

Although things are changing, and the "male as sole/primary breadwinner" model is diminishing, even in the West, men are still overwhelmingly the main breadwinners.

Even if you count households where women are the only provider i.e. single-parent homes, there are still more homes where men are the main provider - http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/30/business/economy/women-as-family-breadwinner-on-the-rise-study-says.html?_r=0

You can do better than these lazy assertions


TV

Logicalmind1:
okay. seen!

Don't just see, hear!!!
http://www.charismanews.com/opinion/44831-ex-lesbian-shares-how-she-discovered-freedom-in-christ

TV

Logicalmind1:
My point is that if everyone start condemning and saying there is no gay christian

There "is no gay christian". Christians do not identify themselves by their sin, wear it like a badge of honour, insisting it must be normalised and the bible revised to depict it as moral.

Logicalmind1:
when we are not perfect, then there is no Christian at all because we have all sinned.

Your position is a mistaken interpretation of scripture, or simply a failure to grasp the difference between acknowledging and repenting of sin and demanding that one' sin is not actually sin - contrary to how the scriptures clearly label it.

Logicalmind1:
Mere lust is a sin and when we admire opposite sex, 99.9% of it was borne out of lust even if we surpress it and didn't act on it, it's still a SIN.

And acknowledging ones sinfulness, repenting and praying for deliverance from it is part of being a Christian. Perfection is end-game, not required at outset - sinlessness is to be strived for and readily obtainable in Christ. As opposed to righteousness which is imputed.

A person who is a christian can struggle with same-sex attraction, delivery is like that from any other sin. A person with SSA who insists that it is right, normal, moral and qualifies himself and his christianity with it, is not a christian. Righteouss judgement right there !

Logicalmind1:
Lastly, I don't believe in what I wrote.
See how bible contradicted itself, and I became an atheist.

Feel free to believe whatsoever you choose. The confusion here is yours, not the bibles.


TV

tearoses:
Never cooked duck
When you say grill the chicken do you mean boil/roast and grill or do you put it straight under the grill?
Fed up of chicken now anyway - unbeleivable
Ive eaten so much of the stuff

I was reading about carb cycling and it sounds really interesting
But cant find any decent menus for each cycle
I will probably end up writing my own book in the end

Straight under the grill, or in the oven.

TV01:
Presumably you swap chicken with duck, fish, other at times?

salsera:
Do you only eat chicken? There's fish of all sorts to grill as well as the wide range of seafood options
I dont boil chicken before I grill it, i clean, then make cuts in the flesh so when i cover it with spices they all go in. then I pop it in the grill. It takes about 30-45 minutes ( i leave the skin) and i keep the heat low so it doesnt dry up.

Mix it up CC. Fish can be an acquired taste. Experiment and try different types & methods of cooking.


TV

I could talk on this for days, but let me be brief.

Anyone who is looking to "a man (or woman) of God" in order to direct his or her life is not actually a mature enough person/christian to be married. Such a one is best avoided, not least because they are also probably subject to "cult-like" influences/behaviour.

A particular note for men, be wary of "christian sisters" who use the rerm "my pastor says" a lot. "Mypas" girls as I term them rarely know the faith for themselves.

They will prioritise, "mypastor", "mychurch", "myministry" over you in courtship, and likely usurp your authority by apealing to church elders/pastors when you are married.

Marriage is first and foremost a family affair. And it can be undertaken without any recourse to "church". Your family shoul dalways be your first port of call for advice - indeed, they are responsible for inculcating a marriage culture within you in the first place.

Having said that, ther is nothing wrong in seeking wise counsel from elders or mature brethren. Many churches have worthy singles/marrieds programs. and one should always marry a fellow christian, with agreement on the Christian essentials i.e. submission .


TV

tearoses:
Coach TV

What can I do with chicken please
Low Carb please
Apart from slinging it on the BBQ and with salad, and chicken breasts with sliced peppers what else can I do with it to make a decent meal?

Stuff it !

I'm afraid options are limited. I tend to grill using different spice combos. You can swap salad for veg or grilled veg (which is bbq'ish in a way). You can also casserole, but the temptation wil be to add, rice, roast potatoes etc., which is what I do on occassion - albeit in small measure - but you are trying to avoid totally right? Zero tolerance !

Chicken breast? I only ever have drumsticks or thighs, they are more nutritious and I like a little tendon to chew on sometimes ! Presumably you swap chicken with duck, fish, other at times?


TV

salsera:
Hey Coach TV01

Seen the videos though I first fear hehe but I'll try them out and let you know which I find difficult to do
SO i need to get the weights and buy skipping rope
I intend to sort out next week and start.

Thanks

Holá,

Me sef, typing it was one thing - only URL's - when it appeared on screen - with videos embedded - I was like, ye!

The videos are for instruction regards each exercise - which is only to be done once - I put a number so you could perfect form and experiment with variations.

You do not need to buy weights or a skipping rope. Start with the weights you have - or with no weights were possible. Then if it's too easy/as you progress, you can add/increase the weights.

I actually thought you said you had a skipping rope. If you don't, you can do fast knee raises with your hands held high and/or jogging on the spot to warm up instead. It's good to learn how to improvise and vary things. It can prevent boredom, or making excuses for not exercising.

Schedule your slots beforehand so you are mentally prepared and also plan your meals so you don't just eat whatever comes to hand !

I'll await your feedback. All the best.


TV

edwife:
Lol,i take as many advices and tips as possible.I only need to see the result,that's all that matter.

So it's a warm-up?lol i use 18 kg dumb-shells with both hands and do 30 sets X 3 with 3 min rest in between.I won't deny that it is not working,i see results,i just wanted to make sure.

But you are obviously using it for a full workout, which is fine as it works the whole body. Should work and trim everything with that many sets and repititions - do you use a dumbell or kettlebell?

Must say, I'm impressed - 18 KG even if it's double handed. I've used 24kg before, but I prefer to stick to 16kg, although I do it single handed, as opposed to double. For the most part I use 12kg - I was using 7kg for years till my gym buddies dissed me !


TV

edwife:
@ TV01



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6Q_Xrxp6o8


Where does this exercise work at? the butt or core?

The trainer at my gym is confusing me...

It's typically a warm-up starter exercise - if you hold proper form it shoul dwork both to a degre, but not as much as other more specific exercises.


TV

^{***Disclaimer - I am not a qualified trainer, always listen to your instructors ***}

Hi Salsera,

programme attached - let me know results for initial effort.

1. Swing - m


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1k00EjuJGw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6Q_Xrxp6o8

2. Halo


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KucjKdPOik

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cpV6ddAscY

3. Twists - m


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1MeZPov8eM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkD8rjkodUI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tm_qfQTbDHw

4. Figure 8 - m

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DXgVlgV52g

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynf-o9aDUow

5. Squat/Lunge - m
http://www./video/xg4idk_leg-exercise-squat-lunges_school - no weights

6. Goblet squat - m

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIrcxSkwui8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwAh0sBFpec

7. Side Lunge/Press - m

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcAAJvC2tuo

8. Row

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LktGPg-AkvY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFq5jdwWwX4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gOYkpfT9Hc single-arm with bench

9. Squat press - m

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzH1e1U36DA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1r9toPQNkM #5 @ 4.48

10. Snatch
http://www.muscleandfitness.com/workouts/shoulder-exercises/videos/single-arm-dumbbell-snatch

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Mgg5EbPFQw

Properly hydrate before - and sips of water during sets
Skip 5 - 10 mins prior to warm up

7 reps each hand or 14 reps if double-handed
"m" are mandatory - you can omit the others the first time as we calibrate
In between each set, 1 of the following;

x5 Press ups - full or on knees as able
x5 Burpees
x5 Tuck jumps
x5 Squat jumps (touch the ceiling)
x10 Star jumps
x10 single leg squat thrusts

Complete 2 circuits
Note time taken

Warm down, by stretching and incorporate this;

Russian twists

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpKgrkAte3c

Pay lots of attention to your form - good form means you work the core more efficeintly and avoid injuries

I have included 2/3 variations so you can learn prpoer form, find what best suits, or mix them up between sessions - don't do them all. I no wan lawsuit !

Let me know any you have difficulty with or feel uncomfortable doing any of the exercises or numbers

Your goal, your results.


Best
TV

Kimoni:
#yimu
British press are the worst of the lot...no controversy in that.
Before the last World Cup, you would think they already won the cup. Shiooorrrr
#UKlivingonpastglory

Generally I agree. And they are borderline delusional about it. But not in Andy' case.

pickabeau1:
every nation hypes their player
Murray is not even hyped in my opinion so naijababe is right..u should watch the way Marca hypes Real Madrid or the Spainish team
He just has the expectation of the whole country on his shoulders

bellong:
TV and Naijababe,

I am in no way dismissing Murray's quality and ability, he is a good tennis player. However, the British press is known for blowing his ability out of proportion like they always do for their average football player.

I explained why I said he is overhyped. When they begin to compare him with the King and prince of tennis, is that not taking his luck too far?

No one is comparing him to the greats - even the 3 greats still active now.

As Pick rightly notes, it's not the hype, it's the expectation - I honestly felt the contry' literal demand that he win Wimbledon would cause him to meltdown. He not only won it, he won it in straight sets - and against an all time great.




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Kimoni:
I go with Bellong on this one. Murray is overhyped esp in UK, someone whose most loyal fan would dare not place a bet on in a GS final

He is not overhyped in Britain - no one is placing him amongst the greats. He cannot be overhyped in Britain - he's the best we have and the only one to deliver for ages .

Kimoni:
You and I know he cannot improve his game better than he has done, he has since passed that curve.

Now that he has sidelined Mauresmo, things can only get better.

Kimoni:
Speaking as someone who likes his personality a lot, I am also being very objective

Not him, his pushy mum or his potty-mouthed wife.


TV

^{In the past 5 years, only 6 players have won GS tourneys. Bro' Andy is among !}

Morning Coco,

So, first you said it was a "denial of rights", and I asked which right eactly? From where? And are there other rights where that came from?
Then it was an "Inequality", I queried how it was "unequal" and what we were supposed to be making equal and for whom?
Then you said it was "injustice", to which I responded, which injustice exactly ?

No replies to any of the questions, a deft skirting of the obvious issues, and a limited focus on what are no more than platitudes. Now you introduce the notion of "unfair"


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUfU1arc0Es

cococandy:
@bold, When you see people subjected to it holding placards to protest it, then You know it's unfair to them.

Coco c'mon. So anyone protesting - with placards - has a de facto case of discrimination against them? Or are obviously being treated unfairly? Like the women who protested plans to outlaw traveling to Europe for prostitution?

cococandy:
Or if I put myself in those shoes and wouldn't like it when such conditions are imposed on me, then I don't need a scientist to tell me that it would be unfair if allowed by law.

There are brother and sister couples who consider their inability to marry "unfair", likewise some "animal lovers". So anyone who feels "unfairly treated" or "hard done by" has an inherent case for a legal remedy?

Which conditions are imposed on gay people or anyone whose relationship does not qualify as marriage? Asking for marriage is asking for conditions to be imposed upon you

cococandy:
It's that simple.

No. And a simplistic and reductionist approach in order to ride roughshod over the obvious arguments does not make it so.

cococandy:
No law can force me to marry a fellow woman so giving homosexuals a right to marry each other.

cococandy:
But a law that allows polygamy can can directly affect me and force me to tolerate that in my own life even when it is unfair and affects me negatively.

So allowing people to choose polygamy and call it marriage can force you to be part of a polygamous relationship? Really? Because you are forced to stay married, or forced to take more husbands, or your husband forced to take more wives?

And denying polygamist the right to their choices, due to erroneous and unfair supposition that allowing them that right to their choices, may affect you, is not unfair? When you married in Nigeria, did you for one moment think polygamy being legal would affect your union?

cococandy:
See where my distinguishing of fair and unfair lies?

You haven't distinguished, just drawn an odd comparision.

All good. I thought this philosophy may bring some new and deep insight. Enough. And I won't even bother to discuss this from a scriptural perspective, not least because of what the notions you've introduced imply - I simply cannot see how they can be reconciled with the bible.


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bellong:
Murray... Overhyped player.... He was taught a lesson in tennis by the king of the game on Friday...

naijababe:
@ bellong, how is Murray an overhyped player? I smell typical bad belle for the Brits

Ha, ha - the Scots stoutly defending their own

I have to go with NaijaBabe here. Murray is not overhyped. Nobody is placing him up with Fed, Novak or Rafa - indeed, few male players of any era could compete with those 3 in their pomp. And Fed is arguably the best ever.

Having said that, Murray is at worst par with Wawrinka in the immediate chasing pack - and Wawrinka joined him there, not the other way around. Murray has won 2 of the 4 GS' and been a fnalist in at least 6. Absent the aforementioned 3 legends of the game - or in most other eras - he would almost certainly have had more success to date.

He is still consistently ranked in the top 5, and has been so for the last 5 years. And, he still has the scope to improve his game. It's hard not to see him racking up more big wins, but even if he doesn't he has done very well and whilst he may not be amongst the greats, he is not overhyped.

Speaking as someone who doesn't like him myself, but objectively? he good. Abi make we go bring the toothless Tiger Tim out of retirement ! Fine English boi - no huzzle !


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salsera:
Gulp! What size weights were you ermmm thinking of abeg make e no pass 5kg.

My diet
So I'm increasing eggs and fish/seafood intake. Beef though I find minced meat easier to chew.
For the fats, can adding more icecream (with more cream than sugar ) suffice. Then cheese and I suppose more milk. Any other ideas.
So I googled burpees,squat thrusts and star jumps. What do you mean by HIIT?
So if you're thinking 3 sessions per week then how long would the sessions.

Morning,

No fear - 5k should do it, no less than 4 sha 0!

Good work on the diet. More ice-cream? That wasn't what I had in mind - ice creams should be an occassional treat. Think milk, eggs and cheese - as you've mentioned - but even better, more good fats from things like salmon, avocadoes etc. - check out you ur omega 3's & 6's

High Intensity Interval Training. The Idea is to work at a high intensity for longer - burns more, more quicjkly and for a while after. Three sessions p/w should take about 30 mins (with extra for warming up & stretching).

You should get a feel from this and build it uo if it's not tasking you enough. We will then increase as your body adapts - by either increasing the weights, reps, adding exercises, creating new routines or varying the routine.

Don't worry if you can't acquire the weights straight away - I'll be really impressed if you can procure kettlebells - as we can start with what you have, or even just body weight. In fact, it may be best to calibrate first - who knows, you may need like 10kgs !

I think it's time to put something together - so I'l post something hopefully later today, but no later than this time tomorrow.

Final questions;

Do you have slots in mind? It would be best to spread them as evenly as possible
Do you have an exercise mat
Do you have a skipping rope

Don't forget to take readings before you start and then at the same time every week thereafter. Do no fuss over weight loss or individual readings - and think about a long-term goal.


TV

...ah! I thought you'd be out and I could sneak off to bed. Owanbe has knackered me today ! You didn't respond to my point about rights, but no problem.

cococandy:
If the polygamous marriage was fair to all parties concerned in it, I wouldn't hate it.

Why is up to us to determine what is fair? Fair may not even form part of the rational of those entering into it, or they may desire it whatever the fairness.

cococandy:
So it's not about morality but about a sense of social justice. If something is unfair to someone I can't possibly justify it because religion permits it.

So in lieu of "rights you have "justice". So again, what injustice is being meted out to homosexuals by them not being able to enter into an institution that is not based on orientation, but sexual differentiation - they are in fact rejecting it by their own choices.

cococandy:
There are practices that one can say yes it's other people belief so it's fine. Eg two people of same sex getting married. While there are some that while they favor one party is unfair to another party so definitely supporting it because it's part of the belief for the people who practice is supporting a social injustice. Eg marriage inequality such as polygamy or child marriage. Where one party in the union is obviously favored at the detriment of the other.

I think I've partially answer this above. But it's clear that this whole discussion has to be framed around notions that don't really bear scrutiny. What exactly does marriage have to be considered in terms of "equality/inequality" as opposed to what constitutes marriage?

Marriage not being permitted for a couple of the same sex is not "inequality" - it's a fail on the part of the couple to qualify. Made more apparent as to re-define iot to admit them changes what it is - "gay marriage" does not make marriage equal,it changes what marriage is.

cococandy:
I don't even mention Christianity or morality when I talk about why I dislike polygamy.
It's Plainly from a social pov.

I can make the Christian argument - and not just the case against sin - and the social one. Good Christian doctrine accords with both truth and morality.

Give sin an inch and it will take a mile. Sin cannot brook dissent or share space. The consciences of those that glory in it will not hear a word against it, or rest until all celebrate it, or opposition is silenced. Wait and see - that's not even prophecy.

cococandy:
It is also funny you find TRUE Christians who can reconcile polygamy and their faith huh? And become true Christians on different threads as the opportunity leads.

I'm not aware of such, and I personally don't make that case.


TV

salsera:
TV01
I do have a lot of floor space to work with. I can register with a gym if necessary we have a few in my estate.

Equipment - hmmm apart from a mat, stretch bands and small weights 1-2kg

You work form home se? Well you can workout from home as well - gym is only really required if 1. You don't have a convenient space at home or 2. you want to do classes.

Having said that, as much as I used to despise conventional gyms and classes - I've since repented. The right class and the right instructors can work wonders. Some classes also have a real good vibe from the attendees, which can motivate and push.

Assuming you have no serious medical problems or injuries, I would suggest 3 sessions a week to begin. If you do use a gym, think about classes like "body pump", which use weights, along with body weight and will also keep you working at a fairly high pace.

Then we should think about a routine you can port between home space and a gym studio. I think the weights you currently have are on the small side for some of the things I have in mind.

I'm not that conversant with stretch bands, so I don't know if there is anyway we can use these to replicate the effect of slightly heavier weights. We could use compound moves using body weight only as a compromise.

What are you thoughts re plans to tweak your diet?


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cococandy:
Seen

And you will also hear !

So, this "right" that we have been denying gays that you conjured up out of nowhere, upon what is it predicated? Is it love? dignity? orientation? consent? harm? Please tell us upon what it rests.

And then please tell us if these predicates cannot rightly be applied to polygamous marriage - which thing you hate amongst a number of other domestic arrangements or relationships, without being hypocritical.

Notice i haven't even touched on the Christian perspective. Suffice to say I am in awe at how you are able to reconcile your faith with your stance here.

1 John 1:1 - seen, heard, handled.


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ihedinobi2:
Bros TV, seen my mail yet? Nothing especially urgent though.

-holá Ihe, apologies for the delay, owanbe cash me !