₦airaland Forum

cococandy:
I do 5mins.

That's what letting other people have the same right to be married as I do means.

Coco! Coco!! Coco!!!

I'd like to be a fly on the wall in your philosophy class Na liberal arts college? Although I guess in the US they all are now !

Let's take it as read to start, that a right to marry exists - homosexuals have never been denied the right to marry. We first have to ask what marriage is - it's "the lifelong union of a man and a woman"

It's a sexually differentiated union, not one based on "orientation" (if we actually agree that orientation is a thing - and homosexuality is not an identity, more a lifestyle, no matter how strongly one is inclined towards it).

So the requisites for marriage have always been male and female and not contravening any of the particulars, consent, mental competence,not too closely related, majority age etc.

In order for two people of the same sex to marry, we have to re-define marriage or create a new right based on different criteria. Nobody has a right to demand that their relationship be termed marriage - just because they desire it - or redefine marriage.

So homosexuals have all the rights you have - what they are after is a new one or too re-define an existing one into meaninglessness so they can participate.

Afterall, if two "straight" men applied for a marriage license, why would they be denied? It was never about orientation, it was about sexual differentiation, not about anumus towards gays, about the outcome of the conjugal relationship between "straights" - said thing gays reject and cannot accomplish.

Feel free to raise this philosophically in class before you reply !


TV

naijababe:
I never thought I'd see the day, this kinda faux is okay for people like with obvious little attention to detail

...wasn't me - NL spell shecka !


TV

pickabeau1:
What is wrong with women these days

I thought they can easily move on if things don't work with the man they with

See this beautiful woman with a good job

cc: TV01 Timbuktou crackhaus naijababe Ewuro4 Kimoni cougar



https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/07/09/20/2A613F5900000578-3155231-image-m-23_1436468865551.jpg

Was she sentenced? I interested to hear. I'm hearing about lots of instances where women are going scot-free or barely given wrist smacks for crimes men would do serious time for.

World is inreasingly driven by desire, emotion, feelings and other such intangible concepts - wait a minute, it's being "feminised" . Only as humans we need to reign in our impulses for flourishing society.

TV

salsera:
Coach TV01
Whatever it takes is good for me.
Yeah I think I need more protein(that has always been my challenge) and fat( what food will give me more of that)

What equipment do you have available/can you procure?
Do you have a gym membership or a space where you can workout?
Anyone you can buddy up with?

What are your ideas/plans for upping your protein intake - itf you are going to embark on a programme, you need to have this figured out.

I'm going mostly with my original call; compound movements which work the large muscle groups. We can incorporate, squat thrusts, burpees, star jumps etc. which will help tone and make sure you don't miss out on cardio - I'd avoid running and spin/bike type exercises for now - they are better for people trying to shed weight.

As for fat, think diary products - though not to excess. Things like offal (shaki, liver, kidneys, bokoto etc.) are all good in addition to the normal red meat, chicken and fish. But you don't have to worry overly about skinlessness or ensuring the cuts are extra lean - lucky you .

Let me know re the questions and I can consider and advise - please take all your readings - height, weight, stats etc., before starting.


TV

5minsmadness:
Cc dinachi, TV01, pickabeau1...

I already responded on the other thread https://www.nairaland.com/2437994/nigerian-taxi-driver-suspended-insulting#35669536

You should be calling out our resident gay apologists, fagtivists and "consent is all" advocates - anything less and one is technically "homophobic". If it's true they were going for full on anal invasion, wouldn't that have meant a fecal deposit on hos back seat

I think I'd have left the cab and run


TV

Cutehector:
Does it make any difference?

...if you are a creature driven by emotions, captive to your own desires and live to be esteemed, along with possessing a colossal sense of entitlement and an unshakeable victim mentality - it most certainly does!


TV

salsera:
Didn't notice you had answered.

I'll wait for the exercises

Yeah I can make time. I work from home now.

I have a few more questions;

1. What exercises do you/would you like to do - it's important you are motivated and engaged in all this
2. Or is it whatever it takes?

What I'm seeing is slightly more size and tone. You probably won't just whittle away waist inches, but get the overall, look and tone you're after. How does that sound?

I don't think your diet is at all bad, but I'm thinking you need to eat more protein and fat - even at breakfast - and especially if you are going to undertake a regime that will build you up a bit, without being drained.


TV

salsera:
With the diagrams you put then I'm an ectomorph. I have broad shoulders and my waist line is genetic even when I weighed 50kg in my teens my waistline was 28in. It just juts out in clothes like I'm bloated.

Pretty much what I envisioned, which is why I'm wondering why you are specific about your waist? Could it be that there's a little "marbling", i.e. a little excess around there, and evidence elsewhere as well?

salsera:
About the dance, I used to dance with a group then I did social dancing around salsa clubs. But now its the distance and work gives me no time. Dancing on my own is no fun.

Given how easy dance is interms of convenience - I see solo dancers in my gym studios all the time, and do you even need a studio - I was mostly concerned about where you would fit in any kind of exercise. Do you have the time - or should I say wil you be able to make the time?

salsera:
I cant afford to lose weight, it took discipline to add what I did. My metabolism is pretty high so when I don't eat enough I lack energy, get headaches etc. Anything less than 60kg I'll be underweight.

Which is why I'd actually limit the cardio, it tends to drain if you are not an endo or meso. It's mainly going to be big compound movements, weights etc. for you

salsera:
My current diet
Bread twice a month
Okele's mainly semovita. Eba pounded yam - very rare and amala Never.
I don't take sugar or fizzy drinks. Usually one or bottles 25cl a month. Cakes n icecream are treats usually twice a month or even less.
I eat protein everyday more skinless chicken and fish occasionally beef.
Take veggies and fruits, make smoothies. Take unsweetened yoghurt.

Take water over any other drink. Though I take Milo with milk about 5days a week. No added sugar.
No chocolates,sweets,pastries,croissants etc.
Rice about twice a week.

Did I miss anything out.

Not too fussed about your diet at the mo' - not that it looks that bad - but pile on the protein and fats (yes I said fats). You don't even have to avoid chicken skin if you don't want , shaki, bokoto, the works.

But the real key for you wil be exercises. More later.


TV

ogogoro:
Anyway, we agreed to accommodate him for free

Which is good, but presumably you put a time span on this? Six to 12 months max - however good or bad he is. He's a young man, he needs to be out fending for himself and making his own way - it will "grow him" and serve him well.

In the interim, package this one well and hand it to oga. No third parties 0!


TV

...imitation they say "is the sincerest form of flattery".


TV

It's actually not an easy one. The forceful mainstreaming of homosexuality is going to cause all kinds of conflict.

Presumably he drives a vehicle owned/operated by a cab firm. He can't deny them a fare due to their "orientation", but I can appreciate how he would have taken offence when their homosexuality "was in view" and he was now somehow party to it - that's where I personally draw the line.

But he can't ask them to get out, moreso if they haven't violated the cab firms policy. Would he have acted likewise with a normal couple who were perhaps unmarried? Or even married sef??

He may have to decide if it's something his conscience can bear, or simply find other employment. I donlt see how htey'll be able ot make any accomodation for his objection at work. Canada is really heavy-handed on non-compliance with the prevailing homorthodoxy, so he may yet suffer further for his actions. I'm surprised there hasn't been a lawsuit.


TV

5minsmadness:
(Sigh)
It appears I may have to be a little more explicit.

Ok a colleague is having issues at his office. His boss is a woman ,just 3months or so transferred to her department. She took a liking to him instantly. She always wants to have private conferences with him and has insisted on more than one occasion that he visit her place so they can finish up on some important documents there . Also on more than one occasion she has granted him undue unmerited favours like estacodes and other monetery stuff he ideally shouldn't be entitled to.

so its obvious she likes him.

The problem is he doesn't like her one bit. She isn't his type at alll. Older than him by at least a decade, not easy on the eyes in any way. Also strikes as someone looking for a man desperately. Bros doesn't want to swallow fish that will hook him.

He tried backing out of a recent private conference and the end result wasn't pretty. He was made to do a job meant for three people in half the time needed to do it. He had to do some begging and ego massaging to get off the hook.

Now it looks like she is consolidating her efforts and he doesn't know how to go about rebuffing her without hurting her feelings.

Any ideas what he should do?

Yes I have - some girl in church, hearing all sorts of "words", prophesying and telling me about the generational issues in my family ! She even followed me to Naija !

Anyway! Coogars prognosis although grim could be close to home. Dusting off his CV sounds like an obvious thing to do, but who knows if he'll secure a position as good or run into "personnel" issues there.

Is he married? Then his wife should be a shield. If he is "seriously dating" or engaged, he should have made that very apparent from the offset. It's one of the things I do, pictures of my wife and family all over, screen saver sef - even though we are not allowed - first line of defense.

He should start to document and keep evidence of any untoward action by his boss - although if it's Naija and the norm obtains, he may not be able to prevail against her if it becomes a case - even if he can evidence her unprofessionalism.

He can try not washing, or eating loads of garli,c or showing other unattractive traits -maybe she'll go off him. Perhaps drop how he is struggling to be shot of chronic gono during a lunch convo . And of course theirs always the "gay" card - although she may think she's the cure.

The elders in church, asked me to have it out with her -which I thought was a complete abdication, but hey - he could try that, but no matter how he approaches or words it, she won't take it eay and may not even take it.

5mins, please be there for your padi .


TV

damiso:
I have actually cut them out totally and these days I think I can even live with eating very lil rice sef ( anyone who knows me knows I love my jollof rice and ayamase).

I don't see why they have to be eliminated completely? What is wrong with allowing say one traditional meal a week, or okele only at owambes - assuming you do'nt go Thursday thru' Sunday ? Especially if it's not a massive serving - I think that can be the issue more than the actual food type.

damiso:
You are right for some things though going cold turkey is the drastic solution.. not had fizzy drinks ( coke, sprite, Fanta etc) in almost 10 years.

If of course one needs to achieve quick results for some reason sure - but long-term? Life is for living to some extent, why deny yourself. When you finally make it to my house if you don't eat the rich food I'll serve, I'll be upset 0 !


TV

naijababe:
@ Coach TV01, squats ke? That's mostly going to work her glutes, I would reckon that burpees are much better for what she is desires.

Hiya, I hear you, I just updated to include HIIT/cardio, and we can talk details around that. I'd need to know what Sal does now. I actually think dancing would be great for what she's after? If it's time, not sure that dancing takes any more time, or is any more inconvenient than any other form.


TV

^{110 burpees yesterday - 11x10 - let me go and check my waist.}

salsera:
What would you recommend for diet

In pursuit of health and fitness, I've always found the best results are when exercise and diet are worked on in tandem. Weirdly - or maybe not - enough, I find once I slack on the exercise front, my diet slips and conversly, when I'm exercising close to optimum, I have less cravings for not so good food.

I'm in a purple patch right now and haven't had biscuits, chocolate, etc. for the longest time. Having said that, I also find giving oneself leeway and making a small allowance for not so great foods - treats, rewards - will mean you still make gains, whilst not giving yourself impossible targets - and feeling misrable when you fail to meet them.

It follows that I'm not a big proponent of labelling foods good or bad or eliminating any altogether - with the exception of those that have no obvious benefit or may be damaging - i.e. I don't use sugar, ever.

I need to know where you are now in terms of diet.


TV

salsera:
@tearoses and TV01

Don't open another thread please.

So coach TV01
I have a question, I weigh just over 60kg highest weight is 65kg. Dance used to be my exercise but not any more got no time. But I want to lose 2inches of my waist ALONE without losing weight anywhere else. My height is 5ft 8. I don't mind increasing muscle mass. I think my waist is about 34 or so(though you wouldn't believe it if you saw me)

What would you recommend for diet n exercise.

Holá Sal,

I don't think there are many proponents of "spot weight loss" anymore? Losing weight from a specific spot is notoriously difficult to prescribe for. However your willngness to increase mass offsets this somewhat.

I see the waist as largely a consequence of ones body/type and genetics, the specific types of exercises one does, and particularly how you work the trunk and legs.

Off the bat I'd say squats with variations, and lots of floor work around abs, incorporating twisting/lateral movements - and cardio/HIIT.

Funnily enough, I did my kettlebell sesion yesterday. Theres's a lady that makes her way to the floor after class and goes through a serious squatting/stretching routine. Needless to say it's paying appreciabel dividends.

Given the stats you provided, I have a picture of you in my mind. I wonder why you are particular about your waist? Could you start by telling me which body type in each of the two pics you most closely identify with;

Diet to follow.

TV

cococandy:
Well that's where the if comes in.
If it makes them feel better. Then why not call it a cure?

A person has gender dysphoria - a disconnect between their biological sex and the sex they believe themselves to be - why wouldn't they think that being "changed" into a woman is the cure? But nothing we can do can make a male into a female and vice versa. Did you ead any of the links?

cococandy:
As with humans some will feel better, some will not. So for some, it is a cure by definition: Do you think it possible to deny those who want to go ahead and do the surgery the chance to do so because they may regret it?

"Feeling better" is not necessarily a cure. Becoming "comfortable" in their confusion, is not a cure. Even if that course of action is preferable to some and we allow it as a matter of choice, do we sell it as the only or preferred way?

Especially for vulnerable and easily confused children? Escpecially in light of reparative therapies that seek to cure the ailment at the root and restore them by removing the disconnect?

Especially by re-writing laws, re-defining institutions, re-engineering shared morés and re-negotiating social agreements, to discomfort and even persecute the vast majority of the population to ensure "equality" for a handful?

cococandy:
I'm being realistic about what may or not be legally achievable.

Anything is legally possible. And whlst we would hope that laws are aligned with morality and truth, it not always is. Did you not hear about the SCOTUS ruling on June 26th?

cococandy:
@bold, I totally agree with you.

Totally in part

cococandy:
Which in turn raises other questions. Why not let the teen do it when it's usually best? Do we leave the decision to the parents since they are still minors?

If one sees the gender re-assignment procedure "as best", then it makes sense to start as early as possible, pre-pubescence if possible, before hormones really kick-in. Which brings us back to the point that many will grow out of the dysphoria - and still yet many more will regret the procedure. And this is clearly not a decision for a minor.

cococandy:
What if the parent decides otherwise and the kid can't get the treatment until later on, will he hate the parents for denying him the chance for a full transition?

Again, this is speaking out of an understanding of GR as best? "What is a full transition"? It it actually possible? What of reparative therapy or counselling or dealing with any trauma the child may have suffered?

cococandy:
What if the parents go with it and he changes his mind later on, won't he hate his parents for not being authoritative enough to stop him?
Lots of questions.

It's difficult and there may be pain either way, but in parent/chold relations, I am loathe to blame responsible and mature parents for doing what's in their childs best interest.

But even this is problematic if parents don't have full knowledge or act out of a belief or ideology - even genuinely held - that a certain way is preferable. And that includes those on both sides of the debate.

cococandy:
About cross-dressers maybe. Just like there are mild schizophrenics and Catatonic ones. Their will
always be some in the grey areas.

Or varying degrees of dysfunction/pathology. Somebeing literally "harmless" in a sense - from a legal point of view !


TV

Stillfire:
Considering the rate at which you all are being kicked out of the houses and your children's lives, you still think it's the default for most women to be led?

Yes. It may seem a strange dichotomy, but both positions are absolutely right. Your "garden variety" female - one who is not truly of faith, or deeply socialised, or repressed, has two conflicting impulses;

One is to be led by/submit to a strong man, and the other is to control man (or even other women) around her who do not demonstrate the requisite qualities (or possess the same status).

Not saying men don't have their own - just responding to your question !


TV

cococandy:
@ the rest of the post, noted.

@the bolded.

What's a cure?


If that course of action relieves them of the symptoms of feeling like they are in the wrong body, why isn't it a cure? Because it's not conventional?

Now their minds align with the image of who they believe they are.
The symptoms of feeling in the wrong body is gone. They are no longer distraught.
Is that not the definition of a cure?
Who says all cure has to only be about pills or therapy.

When it's in the mind, it's harder to reach than when it's just in the body.
What's easier to work on? The mind or the body?
The body of course.

The only thing hindering us from accepting it fully is the shock factor. It's shocking to all of us. To me. To you. It doesn't mean that by indept analysis, you can actually point to something wrong (i.e against any laws) about that course of treatment.

Whatever the "cure" is, it cannot be to further the persons confusion by pumping them full of hormones, them undergo mutilating surgery, and entertaining them in their "emperors new clothes charade.

And more seriously, you are assuming that re-assignment actually makes them happy and comfortable in themselves. I ended with the fact that there is a lot of regret over surgery in the trans community, but it's suppressed.

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2004/jul/30/health.mentalhealth - this from a left-wing rag I personally detest.
http://www.sexchangeregret.com/
http://www.sexchangeregret.com/examples
http://help4families.com/?page_id=437
https://gendertrender./tag/sex-change-regret/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2783583/Man-10-000-treatment-woman-wants-REVERSE-sex-change-criticises-NHS-lack-psychiatric-evaluation.html

And what of those that just like to cross-dress and accessorise? Why don't they want to go all the way? Different degrees of the illness - a fetish and not as serious an illness maybe?

Full +75% of teens that identify as homosexual, fully identify as straight by age 24. Why would we start gender re-assignment for children/pre-teens? A fuller transition is made if treatment is started pre-pubescence, hence the reason for starting earlier, but what's the chance they would simply grow out of it if left alone?


TV

tearoses:
Bro TV01 Many thanks for your tips. Been very very helpful
Im on the right track

. . . So I was craving plantain chips today and cleverly thought I will buy a veg that looks like a potato, slice thinly and grill . . . na so I buy celerac or whatever its called. Big Big mistake ive never tasted anything so vile in my life

I just have to laugh

Great, good to hear.
What's wrong with plantain chips? Even if there is, it's not bad if you just have a few occasionally.


TV

ladygogo:
She is actually pretty independent. She is an Architect and I heard her family was responsible for sponsoring his political career.

Some sources are also saying the Governor later found out the front for the business happens to be Yemisi's boyfriend.

How does the law work in the UK in regards to pressing charges?

Na dem sabi. Won ma wa alright.
I only pity Benue people.

Holá

To be honest, I knew nothing of the back story - not the state in question, the names or even the tribes of the couple. I did assume - in error perhaps and my bad - that she was basically the long-suffering wife of a political bigshot with no real capital of her own.

But all told - I pretty much stand by my initial statement - although it seems now that he may actually be the one to move her on.

Per pressing charges, I'm not totally sure and it depends on the situation; did she call the cops or was it a third party? Will she be willing to testify against him if there are no other witnesses? Did he do her real physical harm? In which case they may be able to press charges without her testifying, unless she corroborates his defence or lies to get him off the hook.


TV

cococandy:
Ok so here's what's going on. I'm taking psychology right now and it's actually one of the hot debates in my class at the moment.

I've always been of the same opinion as the bolded in your post. That is that gender of the mind is factually determined by physical gender.
I was sure it's a fact.
But my challenge is to prove it.
And guess what? I couldn't. Nobody can really prove it.

If one speaks from a belief in the Christian God and the bible - given the fall, we understand that man can a vast array of possible dysfunctions (evidence of the sinful nature).

If one subscribes to evolutionary theory - which is dispassionate and drives towards the survival of the fittest - what purpose would that kind of disconnect have? Why would it not be "bred out" by natural selection?

As for no proof, studies show that right from birth, baby boys and girls demonstrate different traits. So for example, if you slam a door in a room full of babies the girls are 40% more likely to cry. Nothing constructed or built at that age. Toddler boys preferring guns and girls dolls is not a construct, even if it's not 100% correlated - the exceptions merely prove the rule.

cococandy:
Short of raising experimental kids in a socially sterile environment, where they will have no social interactions whatsoever, you can't really tell for a fact that being male or female in the mind is not largely dependent on what you've learned by observation as a kid growing in a 'genderized' society.

It's the notion of "gender" that is a construct, biological sex is determinative and cannot be just about the body alone. Hormonal effects and puberty all lead towards distinct physical and psychological traits - even if there is overlap and some exceptions.

After all, the total population of people whose biological sex,"orientation" and "gender" do not align no reach 5% - and that's estimating generously. And evolutionary speaking they do not drive the human species forward or procreate

cococandy:
Even if it were possible to conduct such an experiment, the kids would grow up mentally impaired because humans need social interactions to be fully rounded and balanced mentally.

Because humans are sexually dimorphous for a reason - the compliment perfectly - there is no need. What ever norms we have are based on biological and functional reality, not the other way round.

cococandy:
So now you have a mentally impaired human who you can't tell if their lack of any gender streamline is because of the mental impairment or truly because he hasn't been conditioned from birth to be genderless.

The case in question has clear causality. Even if we accept some may literally be from birth - although children are not born sexual, that development comes later - it has to be seen as dysfunction.

cococandy:
Well as for the rest of the post, it is indeed considered a deviation/dysfunction .
And it has a name. Gender dysphoria. Medically it fits all the criteria to be considered a disorder.

I'm aware

cococandy:
But the treating the people who have it as 'sick' is where the problem lies. Apart from having the mind of a man in a woman's body, they are just like regular people, just as smart and what have you. most importantly, they are not dying and are not a source of harm to other people around them.

So treating them with sympathy might be condescending.

I don't agree, there is something patently wrong, and it is an illness. Are you saying gender re-assignment surgery is the right course of action? That is "physical" mutilation for what you yourself consider a problem of the mind. Does that make sense? Not least because surgery cannot recode DNA or re-assign reproductive function or correct a psychological malfunction.

And it's pertinent to know there'a a whole body of "re-assignment regret" evidence on the net, it's heavily suppressed.


TV

Unless this women is truly independent of this man, it can't go anywhere.

If her status, well-being and upkeep are inextricably tied up with him, how will it benefit her to aid his prosecution? Or how will she see it as beneficial to her? Unless of course her life is in danger - assuming she even considers death worse than divorce.

Assuming he has assets in the UK and they take all of them and award them to her, wil she consider that a better deal? Will their kids even side with her? Will she prefer to be in the UK as a rich nobody?

If she had the wherewithal to be independent - and wanted it - she'd have taken action herself, and sooner.

Lets follow the situation. I don't see him jailed or her divorcing him - unless the authorities are able to act unilaterally.


TV

Ewuro4:
Dinachi , Pickabeau1 & TV01 ... My initial post was only to clarify the contrast between those two orientation to best of my knowledge.

Yes, you may be right about transgenderism having Gayish tendencies so why not kuku be gay instead of going through all that nip tuck? (that seems to be the bone of contention here and on every forums)

I will never understand and honestly, to be frank, I try as much as possible to avoid this discussion coz I'm very confused. I have gay friends and colleagues at work , my kids asked questions about these group of people esp when their friends have two mommies , so what do you have me say/do?

and you know what? I looked out the window yesterday , and this morning (now) and nothing seemed abnormal. Atleast not YET. I'm gonna live my life one day at a time without all the burden this world has to offer.

The reality of it is unnerving, no? You can "say what you like", but there is a government/PC line. It is that any combination is "normal" and "acceptable". Then they teach it in schools - along with early sexualisation of kids.

They undermine centuries of your culture and tradition and you have no real say - indeed, you can be prosecuted if you say otherwise. Soon, they'll tart taking kids from dissenters. One day at a time just means the inevitable draws ever closer.

There is no middle ground - it's not live and let live - you must accept, accede, endorse, celebrate and participate if need be.

The good news - if you don't have the gospel - Timbuktou is selling land in Nigeria


TV

cococandy:
It's hard to understand.
So the human mind is inherently male and female?

How far?

That's how he chooses to understand/explain it. It's not necessarily the reality. And note, the trauma came first. When a human being is born and develops normally, biological sex and gender expression are aligned. Anything else has to be considered dysfunctional, no matter how sympathetic we are.

cococandy:
I could have sworn that the body you're born in determines how your mind gets moulded according to the social norms of what's considered male and female.

The body certainly biologically determined - minute cases of true lack of development or differentiation aside. And even the mind, it's largely hormones. The societal construct largely reflects that, it does not determine it.

cococandy:
I think their choices need to be respected anyways.
Their life their choice.
Or should I say just their life. Since it's not a choice they made.

That's fine in principle, but in practice it often means wholesale changes for us all and accomodations to the lives, behaviours and practices of others, that they are not comfortable with.

Society has to have shared, values, morés, codes of conduct, terms of reference and engagement, and protocols to function harmoniously. An ethos of "free for all choice" however "principled", is hardly practical.

cococandy:
Any ideas of what a possible cure or management procedure would be If it is treated as a pathology?

It's evidently a dysfunction, a pathology and should be treated as such - affording them the best medical care we have. I'm not a medic, so can't speak knowledgeably on specific interventions.

cococandy:
Because telling them something is wrong with them with no plans to manage or 'cure' them is like saying "you're the outcast. Not one of us. And so shall you be"
That's inhumane.

I clearly stated "treated" and with "all sympathy".

Your approach suggests affirming the behaviour - like they do now, commence gender re-assignment procedures on confused 4 year olds? If something is wrong, especially psychologically, it helps no one to affirm that belief.


TV

A child can't "start having sex" at 6 - he was abused, simple. And for at least 8 years . Tragic. The trauma has evidently left him dysfunctional in terms of sex and intimacy. And that is totally understandable - what I don't agree with is "normalising" this. It should be treated with all sympathy, but as a pathology.


TV

Timbuktou:
Indeed. Unfortunately, most men don't know how to lead or that they should even do so or need to? Many try to do so too late into the relationship which leads to a lot of avoidable break ups and divorces. I wouldn't say bush/dullard women generally; I'd say uninformed like their non-leading male counterparts.

Word. Men let their desire to "please" women stop them - or make them forget - that they stil have to present as leaders. They also ignore, or are ignorant of womens natural tendency to control or manipulate - ontop a craving for "drama" . So you are rght, unheeded, these currents are a recipe for disaster.

Men need to be able to present as leaders, without being over-bearing, indulge without spoiling and heed what their women have to say without being manipulated. Then they have ot keep it exciting, without falling for the drama - all the while avoiding shit and fitness tests. It's a tough balancing act and hard to get it, and keep it right. Men sha, we are trying

I know someone whose default mode is to treat them harsh. While dating it always worked, as per dread now. With marriage it was slightly different as some element of dread is lost. (not least due to the laws & familiarity). As you relax into the marriage, it's easy to lose the edge and take your place for granted. Only women rearely stop testing and "dramatising"

Timbuktou:
I agree. The vast population sees the desolation the current climate fosters and are slowly waking up to finding a solution or bailing; speaking of bailing, that would be the action of choice of the passive population, wouldn't it?

There are too many to bail and too few actually have any options - the problem must be fixed at source. Although men at the top-end (rainmakers, entrepreneurs, etc, bailing woul dgive pause for thought)

Timbuktou:
"Gang wars"? Really? Wasn't aware such a phenomenon existed. Still, it seems the east is either trying to dominate or resisting cultural domination, and to do so in a distant foreign land is telling. TV, prepare to run back home . I have one half plot somewhere I could lend you

It wasn't gang wars per se, but Hindu vigilantes squaring off against Pakistani/muslim gangs who were trying to run their women. Th eoress made it sound like regular drug gang turf wars, it wasn't. The Hindus were cultural vigilantes, protecting their women. The Pakistani/Muslim "gangs" were using the women for prostitution and as part of their drug operations.

My wife can't stand the idea of living in Nigeria - the 2 or 3 years she spent there were horrendous for her. I'm hoping it won; tcome to that, but sensitising her to the idea gradually. If I were rich, we'd already be rocking both countries in style and it wouldn't be an issue See wtin money cause . Where is this land sef - the more villagey the better .


TV

Timbuktou:
This does sound good, on paper, but I tell you, my worst relationship experience was one in which I practised collaboration or maybe I was just beta at the time. Still, a system should account for all extremes, should it not? It would be perfect to incorporate a system beneficial to both alphas and betas or another imbalance(?) could occur? Not that I would want to revert to my less enlightened days, of course.

Unless one is married to a total dullard or bush-girl (I've nothing against either ), there will always be dialogue between a couple. Note, I did not relinquish leadership or authority, and I don't think it was ever meant to be totalitarian. A woman that can give meaningful input, but not one that tries to control or manipulatively get her way, woul dI consider be what most men want? The truth is, it's the default for most women to be led.

Timbuktou:
Who decides what that something else would be, certainly not government, its involvement in marriage has proven counter-productive and a total failure so far. I recently watched a clip on youtube where a US statistician claimed that if the disparity among black and white prison inmate population would be level/almost level if the black American community had their homes intact.

That's the whole bent of the culture wars - usually whichever ideology holds powere, holds sway. It's not necessarily about numbers. Five people just re-defined marriage for 250 million Americans? The vast majority of the populace are passive. Whatever obtains has to seriously hurt them or their future - and they have to see that - for them to reject whatever those in power force upon them.

Timbuktou:
Per the sexxual abuse claims against these muslim men, how do we know the claims are genuine? How do we know it's not these girls trying to retain what's left of the dignity/integrity by painting these men evil? I've become very sceptical about such claims. But the point stands, they are making inroads into positions of advantage in society. I wonder when the beast would strike.

I believe them. There is a real lack of morality around sex and no real parent power amongst the UKs indigenous population. That allied with a political correctness that is deferential to Islam and brown -skinned minorities made the conditions right - in of course conjunction with what Islam permits.

They first tried it on Hindus. Hindu men rose up - hard. There were running battles in parts of the UK. But it was reported as "gang wars". Hindu men won't stand for their girls to be violated - 'specially not by non-Hindus. It wasn't about race. "White culture" made their women vulnerable.


TV

pickabeau1:
Note this is not what I want but an extrapolation based on trends I am seeing

The price of Surrogacy is reducing.. also don't forget that you can use Asians/Africans thus making the birth mother gerographically impossible to track you down





It does really




This costs are reducing gradually
They will become assessable to non high networth people .. mark my words

Trusts were a big deal years ago but now it can be done online

Surrogacy is stil not optimal - no matter how cheap - even if they provide it for free. Not to say it can't become "normalised" sha.

It's not the accessibility of trusts - it's how many actually have the net worth to warrant one or truly benefit - we are mostly broke-azzez . And there is nothing stopping them from legislating for all assets, income or items of beneficial ownership being considered "marital goods"


TV

davimiles:
I commented on a friends picture,(i just said "your getting fat, don't overlook that"then I got the insult of my life

You lied. If the guy is your friend, he's already fat. If it's the girl, she is at best borderline "morbidly obese". You deserve the cuss'ing because
1. why are you not actively discriminating against such being your friends in the first place? , and 2. you do dress a bit "gay-azz "

Now elevate yourself some, and stop lowering the tone of our precious NL.


TV

pickabeau1:
I see no reversion

The horse has left the stable

The Marriage of the Future

- Protect your assets in shell corporations so you cant lose it
- Marry a decent woman you hope will not become a harridan and get a prenup while you are it
If you cant get one, make enough money to hire governesses and cohabit
- Break relationships before they become common law spouses
- Use surrogates so no woman can claim child support
- Since women want to fleece men dry, men have to change the game

Such a cold world

Good points, but the prevailing ideology is already moving to dismantle some of those protections;

1. The ethos literally "infects" women who are not seriously grounded with strong religious or cultural values around marriage. Even those that stay are often "disgruntled" and make for unhappy unions. Everything form of media works towards this.

2. I said, cohabitation still soon be based on anything determined a "substantive" relationship

3. Unless you are gay, judges will still tend to favour the surrogate - there can change there minds after inception you know?

4. It still fails the children, not being optimal for them - and in any event, once a child is involved, you are on the hook.

In some countries men are not allowed to demand paternity tests, so you can be forced to to take financial responsibility for a child that is not yours, and to whom you have no access. So at best it works for men who only care abou themselves. Men build civilisations, it's up to men to take them back.

Point 1 may have some merit sha. A good lawyer/tax expert may be able to wrap ones asets up in the kind of wrapper no one can touch. But that only applies to a minority of hign net worth men.

TV

Timbuktou:
@ 2Good, Pickabeau1 et TV01, do you think there could/would be a reversion to the old ways, which came bout as a means of holding society together,

In some ways, I don't believe there will be - or it's even possible/desirable to - fully revert to the "old ways". Hopefully it will be a "modified" reversion, with the worst excesses removed and an acceptance of some new realities. However, I still think the patently obvious biological and social imperatives should underpin whatever emerges.

So far example, while men will lead/head homes, it wil be more collaborative, more like a "cabinet affair". Which in truth is always like it was meant to be, not as some would understand or practice it as being totalitarian. Like a "benign" as opposed to an "abusive" patriarchy - but still patriarchy.

Timbuktou:
or do you think it's going to be an evolution into something else, glimpses of which we already see?

It can only evolve into something else, and be sustained, if the something else actually works - as opposed to being maintained by force. If it doesn't work it will be abandoned and if it's by force- against a majority - it wil be rebelled against.

We are seeing that now with gay rights, it is seeking to crush all dissent, heavily penalise and ostracise those who do not bow. There will inevitably be a backlash - with the result it could be even worse for gays than before.

Same with feminsim - men are turning heel. Womens gains will prove short-term at best (mere quick emotional gratification), and long-term, society will suffer. Women won't get what they truly want, neither will men and children will suffer.

Timbuktou:
If things never go back to the 'traditional' how does it affect our future and evolution as a species?

As above -but if it does not work and is not rebelled against, it will seriously raze - hurt their poulations, and founding structures - affected communities, and/or make them vulnerable to being taken over by others. ISIS are coming...nay they are already here.

A good example of this was/is the nationwide sexual abuse of young white women by muslim men of middle-eastern extraction in thr UK. Whatever one has to say about Islam as a religion - and there is a lot to be said - the "host" population was preyed upon because of it's weak, almost non-existent sexual morality.


TV