₦airaland Forum

emusmith:
Their NOT thier !

WHATEVA PLOF LOLZ

ireneony:
go and twerk for a strip club..b1tch!

WHATS UR BIZ WH0RE!!!!!!!

mikporch:
Anty can u at least for once mind ur business
No hard fillings
Just saying

""FILLING?"" MY DEAR MIND UR LANGUAGE FOR ONCE NO HARD <WATEVA U WANNA TYPE> BTW DIS IS NL, EVERYONE IS EVERONES BIZNESS!!!!

LOLZ

DEATHMACHINE:
BUY UNIFORMS ! lies from the pit of hell

FOOL!!!! IF THEY WERW UR BRTHERS NKO?

patrickdarlins:
story for the gods really....


its hard to see a nigeria girl...willing to start from the bottom to the top with a guy!!

i nor know were i won find wife go ooo...

CHAI!!!!!!

TRY UR VILLAGE...... #POVERTYSTRICKENNLGUYS

joseph1832:
How come they don't take selfie's when they're in a keke napep?. How come you only see them take selfie's in beautiful places?.

Reasons defer why girls act they way they act but what I do know is many of them are as fake as my N2.50K wrist watch!.

Any responsible girl will never wear those things you spoke of, especially when they're 'christians or moslems' no wonder pastors are complaining about the way many of them dress nowadays.

GET A LIFE PREACHER

Tinubu:
Ok

Since the Op has started the aluta, let's go there .... ALUTA CONTINUA, VICTORIA ASCERTA!!!


4 features of Nairaland Aristos...110% accurate like bullet from actor's Gun!!

1- They form relationship experts in this section... They are always online, advising and counselling, even at odd hours of the night... In some cases they may even present themselves to be married ... Hmm... All the character laundery and marital skelewu, is just to increase their online commercial worth, and attract the best of 'chairmen'... After all, men have always been known to madly desire that which seems to be so perfect, yet beyond their grasp. This kind of 'scope' is the hardest not to fall for.. But na God go save man pikin

2- Always viewing but never commenting in the Property and Car sections.... Those sections na dia own online hotel, where they go to seek out potential chairmen... Once they see you make a business comment on a G-wagon or some exotic property, they will track you down in other sections, and corner you into exchanging contacts with them.

3- Always having only face and bust pishures as their dp. This is most likely because the other parts have been sexually battered beyond redemption. But, business must continue.. So Marykay, concealers, and iron bras are brought in to mitigate the commercial disaster, and present a misleading signboard to potential 'Chairmen'


4- Any moniker with an '(f)' that quotes me negatively...




DISCLAIMER- I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHATEVER I POST IN THIS SEXTION...


#pleasedontban

LOLZ MADMAN

yemicoal:
This days we have so many runs girls on d loose, some claiming to be from rich families to disguise while some are proud of it. Well here are easy ways to spot them....

1)Appearance- Most runs girls love putting on revealing clothes obviously to attract customers, some even fix eye lashes long enough to sweep third mainland bridge

2) Bleaching- Choi, this is so common among runs girls, they all believe you have to be light-skinned, they all bleach and when they get older you see stretch marks like USB cords and green veins all over their body. *pukes*

3) Tattoos- hmm.... looks like the new trend, most of them love drawing tattoos most especially rose flowers on their boobs or hand.

4) Accessories- They use the latest phones and gadgets. Obviously ' maga dey pay'

5) Most of them use waist beads and anklets. choi that bead can turn a man on ehn.

6) They are always chilling. You find them lounging in expensive hotels and joints, Dubai chilling n all,

7) You see different cars parked in front of their houses everyday and different men coming out of the cars, when you turn car dealer??

Sad but true, they can easily tell how big a guys 'kpekus' is by only seeing him walk. They r automatic manhood size detector.

9) They seize every opportunity to snap pictures in expensive places to oppress their fellow runs girl rivals and to show they have arrived.

10) They date older men, obviously for money.

I drop my golden pen at this point.

I DO NO: 1,4,6,9, ND 10 AND YET AM NOT A RUNS GIRL DUHHHH

ireneony:
Never heard of apc

DEN STOP ADVERTISING UR IGNORANCE...... DUMMY

MuguliciousMUGU:
Elections result have been announced. This is jega.
Out of 68 million registered voters

Jonathan got 58 million votes

buhari got 1 million votes

prof sonaya got 10 votes (only her family members voted for her)

the other 9 million voters were fake i.d and pvc created by APC.

Therefore jonathan has been declared the winner.

Dated february 14th


gej till 2019

UR A CRAZY JOBLESS INDIVIDUAL. IF U LOVE PDP DAT MUCH GO AND DIE FOR DEM LIKE THE REST OF UR MATES IN AKWA IBOM

emusmith:
As I type this, I dedicate it to all those who are literally "enduring" their spouse. *tears in my eyes for them*

DISCLAIMER: I do not mean that men aren't also a pain in the neck, but for now I'm specializing on this angle! Don't start to misquote me, abeg!

Marriage is a forever agreement to love and enjoy one another and not to barely manage and endure one another.

It's appalling that is the case of some men. Why? They were blind to little
signs that I'll be listing now.

Some guys are in haste to get married this year, which is good, but WATCH OUT FOR THESE EARLY and TODAY SIGNS that if not heeded to may cost you your peace, joy, dream and above all, your destiny. If your destiny really matters to you at all, you need to read this...
It is the little foxes that eats up the vine....


What Are The Today Signs To Watch Out For To Avoid Regrets Of Tomorrow?

( Remember, some married men are wishing they're still single)


1. Her vocabulary is full of abusive statements.

Guys, don't be blindfolded by her grammar. See beyond that! A woman that will "abuse" the husband tomorrow starts today. You're with her and she "playfully" call her friends over the phone "olosho", "stewpid girl", "F- Word"- Relax, she'll use that on you one day when she's off guard. Unless, you're okay with that, No Problem!



2. Her friends are the "bad" type and she forms the "good" girl before you.


She tells you her friends smokes, drinks and are even lezb but she isn't! Iffa hear! She is or about to be! If her friends are that, she is part of them. Marry her today, tomorrow her friends whom she listens to will set her against you- in critical decisions. Be careful! Friends MAKE or MAR you, they don't leave you the same! Your bae isn't excluded!



3. She hasn't bought you anything "sensible" since dating her.

I don't believe all ladies are stingy. Some are cheerful givers! It is in them. If you are dating a girl who hasn't given anything "sensible" to you, it's not that you want the gift! No! It's that she's not the giving type which may affect her relationship with you and your family later. It's not in the size but in the willingness to doing it.
At least, she should not be selfish- thinking about only herself.



4. She is not enthusiastic about seeing your siblings or parents.


If you have a girl who hasn't bothered to see your siblings or parents, Bro, watch out! If a girl loves you, she would want to see your siblings (experience speaking)- It will be normal!
Ask her what she thinks about in-laws living with you guys...- To see her reaction in her eyes...



5. She has to end every argument.

Ladies talk, I know. But nor be every time you go dey end argument na...I have a colleague like that who flashes green light to me but argues like anything... I don't argue with her... I watch her argue with other colleagues. How can she not know how to guard her tongue even in the presence of one she is crushing on? hmmm



6. She doesn't believe that a woman must necessarily submit to the man.


This topic, feminist don't want to hear. But, I must say it. In the pecking order of authority, the man is above her, even though they're friends. ... He is the Man! If your girl doesn't like to hear this, but keeps saying, we are equal! Haba! Even lioness knows it needs a Lion! They walk side by side but he is on top. Even, you, lady, in your heart, wants him to be the Man o! If she believes otherwise, guy, tread softly!



7. Her mum is a pain in her dad's neck. (It varies)

It varies greatly but an Old Wise man once said, "If you live long enough, you would watch history repeat itself; girls grow up to become just like their mothers, vice versa..."

If her mum nags her dad, there is 75% chance that she will nag you when you marry her, while 85% chance she is currently nagging you right now in that relationship.
If her mum is OROBO, , and she is the first or so, the probability of her becoming like her is 90%.



I'm not a "basher" of ladies, as maligned... I speak the truth.

I stand to be corrected, mind you.

Most of my threads are coined from deep research and experiences from others, books, myself etc.

Enjoy your reading

Cheers.

UR NOT CORRECT. UR JUDGING BOOKS BY THIER COVERS.

jaybee3:
How do you even come up with all these ridiclulous gibberish?



A well trained girl don’t go into relationships and starts making demands like it’s her freaking birth right. Most girls that demand as well as have a false sense of entitlement are always in the relationship for personal gains. We aren’t stupid



Why would you invest in something then be comfortable when dividends ain’t coming ya way? makes no damn sense



It’s perfectly reasonably for some rich folks not to embrace the foolishness that comes along with constant relentless pursuit of ever changing phone technology. So long as the phone can provide the basic functions that phones are meant to do then GBAM. At the end of the day wealthy folks don’t indulge in things that wouldn’t necessary ad zeros to their bank account. Invest Invest Invest


Yes money isn’t everything. Loyalty and trust which is very rare is

POOR GUY ALERT!!!!! OPU SHOULD INCLUDE THAT POOR/BROKE GUYS LIKE LOGIC ND TALK A LOT LIKE DIS DUDE

phlamesG:
so f**kin wat look how skinny she is

WATS UR PROBLEM WITH SKINNY GIRLS, ABEG FACE THE GIRL ND LEAVE SKINNY OUTTA IT. #TEAMSKINNYSEXYBABES LQHA

Tinubu:
Please, have you eaten this morning

YEA THIEF

deparagon:
Many Ladies are known to base their marital decisions on things
that will not
endure a life-time. These have led many of them into wrong
marriages and life time bondage. We need to
identify and deal with them:


1) HEIGHT: Every girl’s dream is to marry a tall, dark guy with a
baritone
voice, I wonder where they got the idea that tall guys are better
in marriage. Hey Girls, tall guys can give
you tall problems; it is not the height that matters but the depth
of the guy
in God and in character.


2) MUSCLE: Muscular and heavy looking guys are also
fortunate, they are
seen to be good suitors, and girls do say “they look manly” “they
look like
real men”. Sorry Girls, muscles do not make a real man,
character and ability
to shoulder responsibility do. A guy with muscle without
character will use
his muscles to deal with you and batter your beautiful face.


3) A WELL SET HOUSE:
A guy with a well set house is the dream of any girl any day.
Many girls will throw caution into the wind to grab a man who
have
a house with King size; beautiful Italian
Setter, micro wave oven, home theater, refrigerator, gas cooker,
Plasma TV,6 by 6 bed, well stuff Kitchen, Dining table, washing
machine, dish washers, split unit air conditioner etc is a dream
catch for
girls any day. Sorry girl, a well set house is good but it may be a
well set
trouble if the guy is not a man of character, manners or
discretion, he will make the house look like a prison yard for you.


4) FAT BANK ACCOUNT: Girls are fond
of trying to know how rich a guy is by checking the guy’s phones
for bank
alerts. They joyfully decide to marry a guy when they discover
the guy is
very rich with fat Bank balance. What a
mistake? They don’t want to know where the money is coming
from; they
don’t even want to know what the guy does for a living. What
concerns them
is the money that is available to be spent. Many girls ended up
finding
themselves entangled for life in this kind of situation, don’t base
your marriage on GREED, it won’t turn to
GREEN.


5) PLACE OF WORK:
Some of our girls are in the habit of making marital decision
base on the place a guy
works. You dare not talk of marriage to them if you are a
Teacher or civil
servant. You dare not propose them if you are working with a
small firm, or one man business. What an error?
Girls note that, that a guy works in ACCESS BANK does not
mean he will
give you ACCESS to his heart or peace
of mind. A guy that works in SHELL may put your life in a SHELL
forever,
you may not be the FIRST in the life of a guy that works in FIRST
BANK, a guy
that work in GUARANTEE TRUST BANK may not GUARANTEE
your future. He
may be working in NESTLE but not SETTLE you at home, So it is
not about
where he is working but about who is
working in Him, God or devil.


6) ROMANCE: A young lady said, “The guy is romantic, hot and
sexy, i will
marry him” Stop girl!!!!, Romance is not enough for marriage.
The truth is,
most so called romantic guys don’t remain like that after
wedding. Marry a
guy base on qualities that will endure, romance don’t last
forever, go and ask
married women.


7) TYPE OF CAR:
A whole lots of girls will be enticed by a guy driving a big
and expensive car. Some will not even go out with a guy that
does not have a
car. If you want to mess yourself as a guy, ride on a bike to go
and propose
to a lady, you will hear the story of your life. Ladies, a guy that
has a CAR
may not CARE for you, life is not about CAR, it is about marrying
somebody
that will CARE for your future.
AND: Most girls will readily marry anybody with US or UK
passports, Lots
of girls have destroyed their lives in the process of looking for
somebody
with a foreign passport to marry.


RICH PARENT: Children of Rich parents are easy target for
many young girls not because they are in
love with them, but they know they will have access to money
and connection. Many of these guys come
from rich are pompous, cocky, proud and will be terrible and
irresponsible
husbands and fathers tomorrow but girls will not care about
that, Most of
these girls do live to regret their wrong decision.
Don’t marry anybody just because the parents are rich, marry
the person for
who he is and the love you share together.

http://totalfamilylife.com/2014/10/12-wrong-things-girls-check-before-marrying-a-guy/

MY EXACT CHOICE OF A MAN HEHEHEHE

Tinubu:
Ok

#bakfromban

In addition


1- Only in Nigeria... Where Jesus Christ will send you a whatsapp message threatening to kill you and your mother, if you don't forward it to a hundred other people


2- Only in Nigeria... Where every skinny girl thinks her talent is modeling


3- Only in Nigeria... When a landlord can see his tenant who is owing two years rent, installing ac

4- Only in Nigeria... Where the Pastor gives you a world-class tackle, if you fail to go down under his anointing

IM SKINNY OOOO, N UR RIGHT MY TALENT IS MODELLIND LOLZ. BTW U MIGHT WANNA IMPROVE ON TOPICS, COS ALL UR TOPICS SUCK!!!!

FUCKING PDP PPL. BRIBERY AND CORRUPTN HAS BEEN THIER MIDDLE NAME EVER SINCE. POWER HUNGRY BEASTS, U ALL THINK U CAN POCKET POWER BY ALL MEANS, THE GOD THAT SEES WILL MAKE A LONG AWAITED CHANGE THIS YR AND FINALY MOVE THIS COUNTRY FORWARD. JUST WATCH!!!!!!!!!

otiigba1:
honestly you look $1000 better than the that girl, and you know it

U DON DEY FIND WIRE FROM THIS POOR GURL ABI? CHYKING ON NL IS A SIN OOOO

[quote author=sexyseun post=29527665]Chaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii This geh just made me look like a skinny and non endowed human being I can just imagine how men will be flocking around her [/quotE]) UR RIGHT, COMPARED TO HER UR ABSOLUTELY STRAIGHT AND CURVELESS.....HEHEHEHEHEHE. DAT MIGHT MAKE U RUN AND HIDE WHENEVER SHES AROUND

eminentme:
yes nice one there. and pls don't fail to stick to ur love whatever when u're still a spinster at 43, u hear?

WHATEVER! GO TO HELL! DUH!!!!

eminentme:
what's d diff btw maize n corn? .......lemme reply in pidgin. I dey say see oyinbo, u dey tell me see Rev father.

OW MEHN SO HIS GONNA HATE ME NOW? WELL TO HELL WITH GUYS, ONE WOULD GO THROUGH SO MUCH TROUBLE, DENYING ONESELF OF THE THINGS ONE WANTS JUST TO PLZ A CONFUSED OPP SEX. SOME GUYS FEEL WITHOUT SEX, UR WAISTIN UR TIME, ND WHEN THEY HV IT, THEY SAY UR CHEAP EEEEEW, DISGUSTIN SET OF CREATURES (MEN ARE). GUESS ILL JUST STICK TO MY Love Machine THEN RUBBISH!!!

hemartins:
"and that's not ur real face" what u saying now is that u get a real face after making up right. let me tell u, beauty without makeup is the real beauty. happy Sunday.

NO UR REAL FACE ISNT WITH MAKEUP I AGREE BUH ITS NOT WHEN U WOKE UP IN THE MORNIN EITHER SO THE THEORY IS NONSENSE.

adekennis:
That number 7 tho.. Yout mean we should be generous if i read u well

POOR GUY ALERT!!!!!!!!!

eminentme:
*clears throat*

ERM PLEASE O I DNT DO ANY OF EM BUH PLZ IS IT OK IF WE KISS AND ROMANCE ON THE FIRST DATE BUH NO PENETRATION. JUST NAKED CUDDLING, KISSING, SUCKING.....

ronald4lif:
I agree having sex on the first day doesn't make a girl a hooker but we fail to understand that just like we do have urges for sex so does the ladies, so it doesn't seem appropriate for us to tag someone a hooker for going for something they enjoy as well, it's like one going to a posh restaurant to eat and then get called longer throat. If a girl who had sex on the first date or whenever is labelled a hooker I think it will be fair to call the guy too a hooker, it takes two to have sex

GOSH I LOVE U ALREADY. SO THERE ARE SENSIBLE PPL IN NL AFTERALL.

hemartins:
you only know a true beautiful lady immediately she wakes up in the morning.

THIS THEORY IS NONSENSE. EVERYBODY MALE OR FEMALE TEND TO HV SWOLLEN FACE IN THE MORNING OR WHEN ONE JUST WOKE UP, ND DATS NOT UR REAL FACE.

neoapocalypse:
For number 3 , she mostly will get dry if you in a room with the ac on ( and chilling ) , it has happened numerous times while at it. I noticed it a couple of years back

YEA IVE OBSERVED DAT TOO

iamrealdeji:
Lie,Of all the beautiful Russian supermodels and celebs,how is it possible for a Russian billionaire to come pick up some Nigerian celeb I don't even know,is she an actress or musician or what?

DNT BE A FOOL. TALK SENSIBLY SWEETHEART!!!!

PHAYOL81:
Itz either in SA or kenya.its rather tradition nt carnival.

ILL BET MA LEFT BOSOM ITS S.A #DAMNANIMALS

Chienyego:
u shouldn't encourage this type of nonsense.
what mikel did here is called "capital flight".
nigerian men r made for nigerian women.

eyaaaa take it easy. Sorry ur turn will come

pretydiva:
D last tym I checked, virgins don't go abt announcing dat dey r virgins. Luv d 1st pix tho

NO WONDER SHES STILL A VIRGIN, EVEN WITH ALL THE MAKE UP SHES STILL SOOOOO UGLY. SEE HER NOSE ANE STRONG FACE MTCHEEWW