₦airaland Forum

@ poster, can we have the guy's head examined first and foremost.  freaky.

Poor lawyer. She was ur dream girl but u weren't her dream guy. she manages u for 4 years of uni and dumps u afterwards, so now u r a serial dater for that singular reason. u remain her slave and u need to free urself from that bondage. please go for some counselling.

@ uspry, Lord ha' mercy! 

hollandis:
lol.I just have a couple of female friends,they nag a lot .I bail whenever i see them especially the naggers(permit me)When i was staying at home.My mum nagged because I was keeping late hours .My sisters nag a lot too .Especially my friends.Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Hopefully u might get a few new lessons.

Nagging is not my thing. But I do the silent treatment, it's my specialty. _{oops, i see no one said anything about the silent treatment.}

hollandis:
Which one of the statements apply to you?_{or should I say how many of the statements apply to you}?

U seem to be a master at the things that irritate men about women. is it research or experience? 
Let's just say the ones in bold, even though any woman can be any of the things that have been listed here without really knowing they are that irritating. So really, I'm liking this topic and taking lessons.

hollandis:
Not coming out with straight answers

Always saying the opposite of what they actually mean ,and assuming that you know it

Expecting me to have a clue always(am i God? )

You ask what the problem is, and she says nothing(when it is apparent that she is annoyed)

Always going over the same topic(that has obviously been trashed)

Calling you at odd hours (when u are at work/a meeting) and expecting you to reply " i love you too"

Trying to switch blame

Argumentative- There wont be peace ,if she doesnt win an arguement(Even when she is at fault)

Ewoo. I no fit laugh. This one takes the biscuit. Guys, please keep them coming. _{hmm adjusting self.}

almondjoy just has a very wicked sense of humour, her posts always make me shake my head in bemusement.

seriously though, dating married men is a common phenomenon in our society. not that that makes it right but it is the reality and if someone can go to bed having shagged another womans's husband, i think i would leave them to their consciences. i have been there done that but being recently single and with the number of married men who saw me as fair game, i simply made a vow not to do it because of my faith. and it had abosolutely nothing to do with money. u meet these people, they become ur friends and u really don't know when the emotions develop and if u r not in control of urself, u start doing something foolish. adultery/fornication, all forms of sexual vice are happening in the church. nothing will change until we all face the truth.

i gasped when i saw the news on cnn this morning. i fell in love with him in the patriot. i've seen a knight's tale. but never saw brokeback mountain because of the whole gay love scene. i'm really saddened by it. what a tragedy.

humanise or womanise? thank God for those who can decode nairaland english. whichever one it is, i wonder how u've endured it for the past 14 years. i hope u don't think he's going to change. u either get out now or just learn to live with it and if u've done so for so long u should already be used to it. humanise/womanise, can u substitute one for the other? e don tay when i go school.

when u r emotionally attached to someone as u r to this married man, u will not be able to consider any other person. so u have to ask urself what u really want. and don't think this relationship is a bit of harmless fun, moreso it's ur first time, so u r enjoying the novelty of it. u do need to sit urself down and ask some hard questions. at the end of the day, the decision lies with u.
all in all, i commend ur honesty in coming out with this.

what happened to all the girls in ur church that u had to resort to nairaland to find that coveted virgin girl? there ain't no virgins here, i doubt if u'll find any even in the religion section. i stand to be corrrected.

mssiah:
If you remain single for a long time,then it becomes unhealthy.

Eve was created for a reason.To be a companion to Adam.

speak for urself.

being single has taken a whole lot of weight off my shoulders. sometimes, u r better off single  than being in some meaningless relationships just because society expects u to.

Have I told u lately that I love U by Rod Stewart.

methinks that gbenga is a complete nutcase. he's only trying to justify himself and make the girl look bad. i saw the picture of the girl when they got married and a recent one in the guardian and the difference is just too much. gbenga has beaten the daylight out of that poor girl. imagine accusing even the girl's father of sleeping with her. that gbenga is not a man at all. always looking confused. and spewing nonsense. he's a disgrace.

so, what's ur point? that u can never make a woman happy? only very selfish men believe all these lies because they only think of themselves. try putting ur woman first and she can give u the world. if u continue like this my dear, u will grow old without anyone to share ur life with. stop being a cynic. i don warn u o, my brother.

cute9jaguy:
@ figurehead
that was funny,the poor guy's a victim of our bad elementaries,but at the same time,most of the people in UK don't even speak good English,so its not synonymous with him ok.
@ dokpesi
try to do something about your grammar,its killing!

@ cute9jaguy, i totally agree.
@dokpesi, i've never seen that london number anywhere. strange. u sure say u dey london school sha?

We had developed our own unique language, and had words that would send us into peals of laughter. So I really missed that in the beginning of our break up. There were times I would read stuff and he would be the first person I would think of sharing it with. But looking back all that has gradually worn away and I can't think of anything that I miss about him now. He sent me a Christmas wish yesterday and I was shocked I felt nothing whatsoever. Time does truly heal.

It's not only starcomms that has problems. My friend uses multilinks or one of these other ones and throughout last week, I had to keep checking some things for her on gumtree.com cos she couldn't open their site.  Even when she went to a cyber cafe, it was the same problem. At home, in the office, at the cybercafe she could not open this particular site. This morning, sunday morning, that is, we could not log on to yahoo mail. I think yahoo in itself sometimes has problems.

Why do people lie about themselves online? Lying to someone you don't even know? How can you build a friendship that way? Even when you tell her the truth, you are still going to try to live up to the preconceived notions that you had built up in her mind and she will always doubt your honesty. Besides, she fell in love with the person you pretended to be, so when you come out to tell her whom you really are, you are actually going to be a total stranger. How can she carry on with such a person who attempted to deceive her in the first place? Next time just be yourself, that way, you won't have to be undoing any lies. If you think there's anything worth salvaging like someone said, then tell her the truth. But if I was in her shoes, that would be the end of the friendship.

palma:
You know what? you are the only one who could make this decision alone. But i want you to read this story first . "A man went to the village to bring in an uneducated woman as his wife, he trued everything within his power to train her but to no avail. Mind you she was very dutiful and reasonable. The man being s chemist has acid at home and the label was fixed on it to identify it. But one day the woman wanted to give water to her husband carried the acid and poured it for him because she couldnt read. The man drank his death." So my guy your case might not be acid but it could be anything so think carefully bro.

I no fit laugh. Nairaland, same ol' same ol'.

Seriously though, I think you don't need to be told that this girl's lack of education will be an issue at some point or the other in your relationship, that is why you have brought it up here, and you need to look long term how it will also affect the literacy of your children if you do settle down with her. The challenges in relationships are difficult enough without some of these extraneous factors coming into it, so really bro, this is not such a hard decision. Move on, without feeling sorry for her, you are not her saviour. She will meet someone who will take her the way she is.

Some of us are very annoying sha.
@zignorr, your teeth are always out. 
But yea, let love rule. Love one another. That's what I believe.

It's not good to hate. Love one another.

angezy2k:
olowoTee is right!

being abusive has nothing to do with only Nigerian, rather, it depend on one's temperament.

although  different State's in Nigeria differ in their attitude and their way of life, for example people from Delta, Edo,etc are use to insulate words because is their way of life in that part of the country, but there are still some that re cool headed.
well that not withstanding, i still believe people out there as in other part of the country, there are more of bad temperament than we Nigerian, but we may decide not to express it in Nairaland.

for those  that re insulting, please insult is not the only way to express your thought, we all should try and control our speech both within this forum and outside. Because two letter words is enough to destroy along relationship. NB: every one is entitle to his or her own opinion, you can alway learn something out of something that looks absurd, if you wish to . Nigerian Economy is not the cause of our attitude, if you like have Billions of Naira but if you don't know that you have a bad character, and make a change towards it, you will remain a disgrace to the world at large.

let us all try to make a change towards our bad behaviour if we have one, so that we  can make the world a better place.

Really? And where did you do your research and get this knowledge of yours? I do not know how a discussion about Nigerians being abusive and insulting can be narrowed down to the former Bendel State. People should desist from making such inflamatory remarks. These are the sort of things that cause the sparks to start flying. All the insults I receive at Yaba market from Ibo traders or abuses in the Yoruba language from bus drivers does not automatically qualify most of  them as being the most abusive Nigerians. Please we should be focused on the issue. There are things that are specific to some ethnic groups but we are talking about the general abusiveness of Nigerians irrespective of their ethnic leaning and educational background. And I believe much has been contributed on this thread to that effect and anyone who wants to learn can pick up what relates to them and make the necessary changes.

A friend just sent this to me.

DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman.  Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check."

"Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog Spike. He won't bother you.  But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen.  But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled,

"Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"

To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"

See, men just don't listen!!

The pastor preached today about the difference between reading the word and mentally assenting to it and actually knowing the word through revelation which comes from a diligent search. He emphasised that mental assent is one of the major problems in christendom today as more christians are mentally assenting to scriptures and when they do not get results, they give heed to seducing spirits and begin to question their faith. He said if you are in christianity because you want to get results and achieve personal gratification, and not because of the ideals of the faith, you will be frustrated; and all of us come to the faith for one personal reason or the other, but after a while, we need to appreciate the the very core of our beliefs and hold on to them in the face of contradicting circumstances. Preaching the word is one thing but walking the walk and talking the talk is a different matter.

The reading was from Luke 24: 13-32. This was when Jesus expounded the scriptures to the two disciples on the road to Emmaus and they did not know they were speaking to Jesus until he broke bread with them. And this is how it is with the scriptures; until the eyes of our understanding is enlightened, we cannot see the light of the gospel. And our eyes can only be opened when we take time to meditate on scriptures and make a diligent search for ourselves. We need to pray the prayer in Ephesians 1:17,18, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ the father of glory may give us the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him the eyes of our understanding being enlightened.

Kobojunkie:
What about those who continue to do the opposite?? as in those who live in Nigeria that continue to try to compare America to Nigeria ?? How do you think of those @Ufoma

I think we may all well need to check our attitudes in that regard. Living in Nigeria or in the diaspora should not make anyone's argument superior to the other and we need to be objective.
@davidylan. I am bemused. All that from a few lines? Emotional, I say.

almondjoy:
Interesting!   

Same ol same ol sentiments you get from a NIN vs NID volume2 thread.  Nothing new so far!

_{Off to da club house!}

I am so out of here.

I went out with a guy who used to open and close the car door for me. Every single time. I found it embarrassing at first but I found that was what he wanted to do and I just had to let him. He was born, bred and 'buttered' in Nigeria.
Dated another guy who made the most amazing cards. I kept those cards for a long time even after we broke up.

@debosky. 3 gbosa for you.
Your points have been well taken. And, Awo does not have to wake up from the dead to shout it at the top of his voice. You have done very well so far in that department. Will yet have something to say on the matter if I still feel strongly enough about it but I concede the point to you for now.

The usual America/Nigeria debate.

@daviddylan, there are people who do not have to fast and pray to get a visa in any embassy in Nigeria and have opportunities to live abroad, but have chosen to be in Nigeria, to embrace their homeland, warts and all, to know and truly feel the frustrations of the majority of the 140 million Nigerians. And I do not begrudge anyone who aspires to go abroad or feels that going abroad to better their lot is their only saving grace or will improve their lot in life and many Nigerians abroad are simply doing that. And nothing wrong at all with fasting and praying for that purpose if one feels strongly enough about their desire. But having living abroad as the sole purpose of their existence and using that as the sole premise of their every argument and showcasing that at every opportunity is what I find pitiable.

davidylan:
another opportunity to bash the US never goes unnoticed on Nairaland mostly by those who would give an arm and a leg to come here.
When is 2Face due another round of gun shots from "bad people"?

And another opportunity does not pass some by without throwing their "american-ness" in our faces. I wonder, did you give your arm and leg to be in America?

NINETOFIVE:
Seun I do understand that I was a little over the top, but I thought is a free world, those words I used were exactly how I felt, I can't really see any point in changing the title of a well thought out thread. Though the words may sound offensive, but I was trying to make my view palpable, no time for bantering talk,
now you 've taken the fire in the thread, thank you.

Babes, you weren't a little over the top. You were way over the top. Nevertheless, I agree that the title change has taken the fire out of the thread and has made some of our comments obsolete. It was the title that drew me to the page. And you were well and truly expressing your frustrations even though some of us took it personally. So it would have been nice to see the debate rage on with the old title. I was waiting for the first person to turn into an ethnic brouhaha as every political issue in Nigeria is turning out to be.

There is nothing wrong if a man or a woman for that matter has a child out of wedlock but it comes with it's attendant challenges and being that marriage in itself is challenging enough I can understand some people's point of view on the matter. But I would not say the action you took by cutting off from the guy was very good, you need only put yourself in his shoes and understand why he's behaving the way he's doing now. He must be thinking your love for him was not genuine and he could read many other meanings like, what if he has no job, would you stand by him in tough times etc etc.
You can still remedy the situation like someone has already said. You need to go to the guy and have a heart to heart with him, find out the circumstances that brought the child into his existence, his relationship with the mother. If he still has a relationship with the child's mother, it would be a problem for you and under such a situation, you cannot put your head there so to say. We all have made mistakes in the past and some of us could easily have had kids out of wedlock but for the wonders of modern medicine. So be objective on this matter. No need to throw away a good relationship.