₦airaland Forum

djon78:
Story

And boundaries being set how has it been?
Many more homes and marriages are breaking at an alarming rate.


What I am stating is based on research I conducted.
Family must remain supreme

Modern day women will want to control everything
And division is down
While most of then today don't even have the kind of character our mothers had


When a man marries
Ensure your wife follow family suprimacy
You will save yourself a lot
Because modern women don't have those character foundation to build a lasting legacy
Only just few
The wise ones

Of course family reigns supreme

your wife has become part of the family too, so she is also in the mix when you say family reigns supreme


But as I have said before, clear boundaries must be set, between your nuclear and extended family.

Your nuclear family (wife) does not cross the red line in extended family engagements, and your extended family does not cross the line either


My maternal grand father failed to do so, and he paid dearly for it
May God rest your soul papa *sobs*

Homes have been breaking because the boundaries were not set

wakaawaka:
Bros. I know say u go don old. So make i give you small respect.. So you want tell me say you go leave your wife go listen to Umunna.. Yes oh that be if your wife na Angel.. But my guy, make we check the spiritual settings and top it with the fact say Peter na daft guy(If you know, u know) The WIFE easily manipulated him and made him rebel against his own blood.. F U C K UMUNNA ONE MORE TIME.. THEY CAN GO TO HELL. The wife na part of the mind of the husband. I think u were making your point about a girlfriend.

I don talk finish.

Well it depends


There are usually family squabbles here and there, let me use my own family as a reference point

Squabbles between husband and wife is settled between husband and wife


but squabbles between brothers /cousins are settled by "Umunna"

that's the point I am making

If there's money disagreement, or any of such, the matter will be deliberated and a proper decision taken

but then

every one to his ways

franchasng:
What made Jude to start disliking Lola was this:

Lola came into Peter's life mainly because she saw that he and his twin had talent and she knew one or two contacts to get them shows. She saw it as an opportunity to make money for herself.

So she came in as one trying to help them grow and get more shows of which she tried her best and due to Jude's ability to produce quality songs made by Peter and Paul, Psquare were able to get shows, later endorsements and money.

Peter and Lola started dating.

Lola noticed that Jude was getting a big share of Psquare's earnings, she didn't like it, her reason: why would your elder brother be earning that big for being an ordinary artist manager, it's not cool, I don't like it.

He has to take less while u and your twin bro take the biggest cos u guys are the ones singing and dancing.

With time, Jude noticed Lola didn't like him because he was earning big as his brother's manager. He got angry that a stranger lady is just coming in from nowhere to dictate how things should be run in their family.

His dislike for Lola started and he started to advice his younger brother Peter not to continue with Lola but Peter won't listen cos he loved the Yellow Pawpaw lady being that she was the most beautiful woman he could ever get in his life being a broke guy that just came in from Jos to Lag, Lola was a classy goddess to Peter, he couldn't let go

The enmity between Lola and Jude continued as Jude hoped Peter won't marry Lola after all, Peter went ahead and married Lola against most of their family members' disapproval.

Why did most Okoye family members disapprove Peter marrying Lola The same music business money sharing formula issue Lola started out of her over sabi and over ambition as a wild lady that has gone far and wild.

So it is Lola that started the hatred.

If she had ignored how they shared their revenue happily before she came in and just mind her business, there wouldn't have been issues.

If u are honest, u and I know that majority of black women are fond of trying to persuade their man to stop doing things the way he used to do with his friends and Biz associates as soon as she steps in.

They will always want to dictate how things should he done and how their man should relate with people, and this does not always end well for men that allow it.

This is same thing Aisha Buhari has been trying to do between Buhari and his extended family of the Dauras.

But Buhari and the Dauras aren't giving her chance to do that.

So because Jude is the elder brother, he should rip his younger ones off right?

nna e *facepalm*

ike gwuru m

Omotayo is FAR more well to do than Okoyes

If that was not the case, I'm sure many would have been shouting "gold digger"


So let us assume you have seen Lola planting ideas in Peter head, can't you as senior still apply wisdom and handle things properly?

djon78:
One of the reasons why there are a lot of issues today in many homes, why there are many breaking homes is simply because family is no longer upheld.

Once a man marries, he just think its him his wife children, while neglecting family!!!

Family is still principal
If a man marries, he must position to overall family agenda.

But modern people no want learn this

And this is the problem in this peoples issue
Family must have remained supreme.

This is what I am trying to inculcate between me and my siblings. Family is supreme.

so what is your point?

clear boundaries must be set, even though we are all family

it is the lack of well defined boundaries that cause trouble in the first place


There are rules of engagement between me and in laws, and extended family
we come together to help each other as family

but once again

Boundaries

diadem10:
wee you keep quiet? Where were you when Paul was insulting Lola on twitter? Or when Jude didn't attend their marriage ceremony?
FYI, Lola is more important than those two to Peter. The scripture says what God has joined together, let no man put asunder. Not to even mention that Lola was their financial support but what did she get from the two Ingrates?

There's no way Peter would choose his extented family over his immediate family. Even God is against it. Let that sink into your head.

no mind them.

sandra50:
So now that you are standing with Peter..what do you know the problem is..I have a very wicked aunty who just succeeded in killing the husband..it was so bad with the man that I'm happy he is dead..atleast he is rest now but the wife will always open her 36 anytime she sees anybody.. trying to make people see her as a good woman.after dealing with us inside and we starting for her to leave us alone she wouldn't say a word so people will think she did nothing and we are just shouting.
I still maintain that it's the duty of the wives to do everything possible to bring peace to that family just the way it was before they came in..
You can only not be bothered when you see the brother is after your husband's life but aside that..preach peace.. continue preaching peace and never stop preaching peace until the peace is restored.

it is NOT the duty of the wives to bring peace to a family, that is where we often get it wrong

We have "umunna" for a reason

And they are there to ensure that all squabbles are settled amicably.

What does the wife want to do?

call a meeting?
or sit them down to talk sense ?


Umunna (or let ne use the world elders) are there to summon aggrieved parties and thrashing out issues

Jethrolite:
Wow, you're among the smart few. With so little money you achieved so much. I've seen winner of N20m who is still in rented apartment and broke.

you don't mean it

you mean the person has no one to advise him?

Grupo:
Made my first million at the age of 26. That was last year.

Right now, I have earned more than $17, 000 through fiverr. Although I only have close to 4m in savings.

I don't even know what to do with the money.

Just dumping it in treasury bills until I have a reasonable business to do.

I'd advice you as my brother to diversify a little bit.

You can start by buying lands from reputable estates or companies (like adron for example) . They have a system in which you can deposit a certain amount every month, and by say one year or two years, the land become yours
you then work out the legal papers and voila, it's your land


You could also open a stock brokerage account and be dumping like say 50k there a month sha, or something small you know you can overlook
buying sound stocks over time will yield you cash flow that you did not lift a finger to earn

You could also look for fund managers as well (equity fund managers)
though this one is more risky


In all, make sure you make some guided investments (diversify a lil bit, land, T-bills, Stocks and equity fund management) And you will be getting torrents of cash flows from different sources well into old age


best of luck

Simbrixton:
A family friend I know went through worse after marrying an igbo man may God heal our land

may God heal our country

nokatakata:
you don't have to accept. Yes there are bigots in evert tribe but ipod bigots are number one and on another level.

this guy tho


Go in peace

you are irredeemable in that respect

.

franchasng:
Peter didn't want Jude their elder brother to be their manager ever again even when Jude finally decided to agree to their terms.

Peter requested to have his own manager that is not Jude your own blood brother, what job do u want your brother who has grown to know about music production and promotion to be doing

So you will be happy as a younger brother to see your brother suffering and jobless to please your wife

Only a foolish man does that because wife can go, wife can be changed but parents and brothers can never be changed.

This is what Aisha Buhari has been trying to do in Buhari and Daura family; she wants to divide them and be the Lord deciding how things are run, but trust Hausa-Fulani people, they don't take nonsense, Dauras and Buharis gave her a limit, that's why u see her running to media houses always to rant about this and that.

That's women for you.

Most women are born selfish. Their only mission is to better their life first before others. They only think about them and them alone. Women are born that way, so as a man, it is your duty to give your wife limit and control her selfishness and greed and resist some of her negative counsels that may ruin your life and even career + good relationship with your business partners and friends because if u leave most women married to successful men, they will want their rich husbands not to talk to any other human except them alone, they are that selfish and greedy.

Peter allowed Lola's negative advise and eye opening to bring discord between him and his brothers and that was the issue

There is NO sentiment in business nwanne

Jude was ripping them off and it was clear

let's even forget abt business


how can you show open disdain for your brothers wife (to be as at that time) and expect all to be well eventually?

on the wedďinh day, you were in the same city, but decided to hang out with Wizkid

ON YOUR BROTHER'S WEDDING DAY

And you expect Peter not to show him red card.

As senior; even if you were not happy with the decision, such brazen acts should not be committed

instead you maintain peace

I hope this coming generation will learn from the mistake of the past. I have traveled around (Thanks to God for His blessings) I have come to understand that in the West parents work hard to guarantee their future and that of their kids. Unlike in our country where people stop short of guaranteeing their future by starting a family hoping and believing that their kids will be under obligation to handle their (parents) financial situations in the future.

Do not see your children as an investment, rather parents should treat their children as human that should leave and freely work to take care of themselves in the future without the parents placing unnecessary expectations on them.

I have seen people whose career are barely off the ground, rushing into starting family, because they want to please society and at the same time they believe they will channel all their energy ( income which is barely enough) into their kids as an investment. There are a lot of issues that comes with seeing your kids as an investment- with the hope that the elder one will raise the younger ones and eventual take care of the parents.

To the young generation and to -be parents please stop putting your children through such psychological torture, moreover you did not consult any of the kids before embarking on such 'ventures' neither did any of those kids signed an agreement with you.

Please parents shoulder your responsibilities and stop mortgaging your children future, just because you don't want to be left out of the 'I am married' crew or the ' I got married early' crew.


As a side note, I used to laugh when I see people ranting on how much they love their parents because of the sacrifice their parents made to raise them. Yes it is true that your parents could choose not to raise you but at the same time it is their responsibility- a responsibility they willing took upon, most times even when it is obvious that they are not up for it financially or emotionally, to raise you. So I see nothing special in it, just parents taking care of their 'mess'.

you have said it all

nokatakata:
do not pretend not to know how hateful your ipod people can be. they always see the need to compete with afonjas at any little opportunity and they must blame afonjas for all their problems. same way they blamed afonjas for Jonathan's loss in 2015. now they are all putting their hateful airheads in the same direction chanting atikulate(the same fulani people they hate so much). if atiku should lose in 2019, the hateful MFs will still blame afonjas.

While I was a kid growing up in Lagos, though there were good Yoruba folks, a good number of them were not good to me because I am an "omo Igbo"
Some even used to say that the time will come when we will be "chased out of Lagos"
Igbo boys who grewup in Lagos when I did will confirm this useless talk

I don't hold that against them, because they are victims

the same is applicable to the Ipobs

they are victims


But for you to pretend that "Yoruba folks are saint while the Igbo guys are hateful" is what is devious.


There are bigots aplenty on BOTH SIDES

franchasng:
Young woman say what you know!!

Jude made Psquare!

Jude was a professional music art who studied music and helped to put his brothers together to form a formidable sing/dance crew.

Paul is good with singing while Peter is best at dancing. Jude brought their talent together and harnessed it to become profitable.

Most of you ladies of our time are just annoying, jumping in and scattering families without thinking of how they started and suffered as a family before u came in.

So Lola grew up with them in Jos Ms I-too-know

You better learn to stop saying what u know nothing about.

I have met Lola, she is not a good woman, not just about her tribe but its about her.

Another mistake they made was twins marrying from opposite direction.

For twins to stay close, they need to marry closely.

Looking at Lola, u will know she is the type of lady that brings in division if u look into her eyes with deeper wisdom.

Our eyes tell so much of our personality in life.

Lola hardly smiles.

She wrote all that crap to fool the public and to appear saintly and if u put yourself in Paul's shoe, it hurts when your hater goes outside to preach love and claim your bestie but back home he or she is your greatest enemy.

Peter is the issue in Psquare!

Why will the whole family side for Paul, leaving only Peter

Why would Peter be the first to quit and always forming solo even while his brother Paul was doing all he could back then to fix their issues

Peter's wife sowed a lot of hatred in the heart of Peter and told him how their elder brother Jude was using them.

Most women are good in opening the eyes of their man to things that their man had been ignoring for peace and unity.

None of them was lacking, none of them was broke or underpaid, why bring in negative advice at the first instance

You better learn as a lady not to scatter your mans family, don't let Nairaland likes and shares confuse u that u are saying the right thing

i have met lola twice, and she seems to be a good person


Jude is a BIG FOOL

He does not know his role as "Okpara"
That is if he is one self


Its your job as senior to manage crisis between younger ones in the best way possible, even if it means taking a bullet yourself
I am one myself, and I know what I have done, and insults I have taken, anf squabbles i have settled to keep my sibling together, at least being in peace, even though we have different personalities

All Jude wouldhave done to save P Square is to give way as their manager or at least, renegotiate the 50/50 deal.

now look at


Label you don't have, artiste you don't have



But what is my concern?
now the centre has caved in, and it's "to your tent o Israel"

nokatakata:
no its not a problem marrying from different social class. it's a problem marrying from a bunch of hateful and cursed people who are so foolish.ly full of themselves yet envious of everyother person.

see what I'm talking about?

Hate filled fellow like you


I have Yoruba in laws aplenty, and we all live as a big happy family assisting each other when need be

In the real world, "Afonja" and "Ipob" are family.....

the riff raffs on both sides on the other hand, are spreading hate

nokatakata:
dont mind these daft cursed envious ipods. the bast.ards don't make it until they run down to afonja land and get help from the same afonja people to help their career and the moment they make small money, they start yapping trash. How many of their uselss musicians would have made without the assistance of the afonjas they hate so much? just look at the useless paul now, no reasonable endorsement. he just singing his nursery school rhymes and getting bitter by the day. heck the MF cant even express himself in simple english language.

From this comment, what now separates you from the "ipob people"
you are just as hard filled as they are


So all those rich men from nnewi got "Afonja help"
or the ones in Kamo?
Or in Aba?

IamD18:
Rudeboy is arrogant and disrespectful.

I'm beginning to think the hatred he has for Lola who has stood by them is the major factor that engineered their splitting.

I don't know Lola personally to know if she's a good or bad person to judge, but publicly shading her indirectly shows you have no respect for your brother, his wife, your wife and your kids.

Peter not being able to shade your wife all this while doesn't make your wife a BETTER woman, it only shows how matured he is and respect he has for you and your family. Kindly grow up and stop being a disgrace to sensible twin brothers, husbands, fathers and uncles out there.

One needs to quit hatred and tribalism to be successful in entertainment industry.

I stand with PETER!
His family over P-sqaure.

you have said it all

Bolustical:
[s][/s]

As if GTB and other Yoruba-owned organisations don't have Igbo employees in their thousands.

BTW, I hope you know that your Ofala festival is solely sponsored by Glo; owned by an Ijebu man

what does your second statement have to do with anything?

eyeview:
It's sad when bigotry made our young people to lie against their conscience. You and I know why he was in anambra a night before an election; to rig another state's election and you and I know he was not arrested but ordered to stay in his hotel room.
You and I know the truth but the difference is that while I deal with the truth, you live a life of lies like your father the devil

don't mind them

ericsmith:
why wonnt he ?? the really question is how many igbo man is above el rufai that he could av worked with.
and if obi knows any igbo @ one period or time that tried to work with el rufia n he declined let him let him tell the word with proof.
igbos full north ,igbos full sWest, even middle belt but can we say hausas full east or yorubas full east ... i stand to be corrected

northerners are SO SO MANY in the South East

That's your correction

Yorubas are more in places like Aba and Onitsha tho, then a bit in Enugu side, but they are not as populated as the Hausa folks in the east
they run the suya joints, and other business everywhere

El rufai issa known bigot, and to think some people due to foolishness or ethno centric reasoning are still "siding" him is baffling

Kingtim:
is either you are mad or grossly foolish. What culture shock are you talking bout? The nigerian leaders that go there for medical treatment and holidays what did they see there. If we did have quality hospitals and so on and so forth like they have over there nobody will go over there often. Thats quality. In nigeria, even the rich cry.

your last statement sums it up


"the rich also cry )" in Naija

krattoss:
To all those lazy mofos castigating their country.
It's no one's fault u re lazy and ur parents couldn't make way for y'all.

Follow this link and see testimonies of folks making it over here.
One of the best threads on nairaland.

https://www.nairaland.com/4852491/how-old-when-made-first/14#73087622

I looked through that thread as well, and made some comments


But if this is the prism by which you measure success and good life, then your wofkf view needs some adjustment


It's not about making money, its about the QUALITY OF LIFE that one lives

That is what many of you are not getting


Nigeria is a $hithole in all ramifications, and those of us who decided to look elsewhere are not always the "broke and dejected ones"


We have made money in Nigeria, but could not live in peace
if it's not sars; or one thing or the other, it's dilapidated infrastructures etc


All your money will not save you when am emergency occurs, and there is no "911" or "999" speed dial to call to save you



Long story short, there is more to life than money making

nduchucks:
May I suggest that you set higher standards for yourselves.

Celebrate your first 100million naira or at the very least 10million naira.

I don't think 1million should not be celebrated given current exchange rates. We are talking about less than $3,000 here.

while your advice is well taken


it's a simple question

At what age did you make your 1st million

in Nigeria, your first million you MADE is a milestone, especially when you come from a disadvantaged background

And yes, considering Nigeria's peculiar circumstance, making your 1st million under 25 is a good one.

Madmoizelle:
If twas a lady that posted this, y'all will advice her to forgive and "all men cheat" blablabla.. Nig, do the same , Besides, y'all ain't married, you can't personalize what ain't legally yours.

a lady dating a married man three months to her "introduction" is not a serious lady


There is time to play, and time to QUIT.


Unfortunately, most Nigerians (male and female) don't seem to get it

HonAdeli:
Brother be careful, no rush yourself you can quit that relationship. I was on a flight last weekend from Abuja to Lagos, you need to see how clean old men and Alhaji's were talking to this cheap hoes in the plane. They gave out their phone numbers to people older than their father.

it's terrible

bianconerriii:
Dear All,

I have been dating this girl for over a year and everything was wonderful until I moved into my own place about 6 months ago from where I was squatting.

I started noticing some things. Most times she is at my place, she turns her phone face down, chats on WhatsApp only when I’m not so close to her and on two occasions I caught her deleting text messages. Confronted her about it and she said it’s was nothing, she was trying to manage space, mind you she uses a 64G ‘iPhone 7’.

On this lovely weekend, she comes over to my place and a call came through, she hesitated to answer until I insisted. I asked who the guy was and she said he was just a friend calling to check up on her and he was married. My suspicion grew.

The following day I went through her text message with this same guy only to find out they have been seeing each other for a while even going to hotel together.

The sad part is we have planed formal introduction in about 3 months. I can honestly swear by my life, I have never cheated on her before. At this point I am in a delimma, what do I do? I have considered breaking up and moving on. What do you advise?

Many thanks.

you are still asking "what do I do?"


Are you sure you are a man at all?

Oluhills007:
so on the minimum.. How much so you think would be enough to start real estate... Can one do Real estate with no deposit down?

you could start as an agent, connecting home owners to potential buyers, or tenants, and then make a premium (or what you guys in Nigeria call commission)

From there you can build up

And you don't have to be a waka about to be an agent

creating an online platform where you connect the demand side to the supply side will do the trick


its just a suggestion

nwanneni:
anyi ma uzo ofuma ofuma.ha enwe ike e jide anyi.
Atlantic ocean is a gold mine if you have the heart

that's the spirit

na -akpata ego gi

ego dikwa mkpa

pocohantas:
You no go just see those Romance section guys on this thread. Them no get work or hustle?

Anyway, I will say 23+...
Got the famous 6digit paying job, had some allowances and intangible benefits, living in a family house, parents who didn't ask me for anything except if I decided to spend. I am not a flexing person, so I didn't have a reason not to save.

I dream about the proposed pay/benefits of my new job and smile to myself. I am my father's daughter.

this place is for men and not children

nwanneni:
oh wow!that business is a gold mine a lot of people don't know about.
But i do it between countries and i smuggle only expensive whiskey.
I am also a major rice smuggler,wood smuggler,fuel diverter and currency analyst!

nwanne
smuggling dikwa risky o

Lee anya ofuma o.......