₦airaland Forum

mehn! the tempo is fvcking high

go gunners, go!!

isn't that a slow sluggish and almost harmless python?

Elnino4ladies:
Sai umeh

who called me?

hello all, my name is UMEH JOHNSON OSISIOMA also popularly called ... JOHNNY .I am using this medium to wish all nairalanders a happy Xmas celebration. As d year gradually gets to a sweet closure, to those I have disagreed with here, im so sorry. It is because we have not found a common ground. I do respect your point of view. I appreciate all my buddies here who has kept me busy when I am Idle, gentle when I'm offensive..to Those I av offended through my nasty end time comments , plz find a place in ur heart to 4give me. for those I av ever plagiarized their write ups and threads (don't be mad, your write up was 2 good 2 ignore). My deep appreciation goes to those that av been stealing my write ups too. I appreciate you all. I pray that we'll all be alive next year in good health, wealth, peace et al, 2 continue doing what we do best . All of you have been wonderful! A big THANKS TO YOU ALL!!! B4 I 4get! I know some of you will still steal and forward dz msg 2 people and in case u do, please remember 2 edit d name UMEH BUCHI JOHNSON OSISIOMA b4 u send it.I luv u all, happy Xmas & New year in advance.

What you need is christ and hopefully a good husband.

Sike:
lol. I understand ur pain bro. Wait for Ur turn

how long bro? even 18 year olds are rocking beard gang

FrankValency:
u must be 2face or bankyW

2face, a bit. banky? no no

saintfizzo:
ur post got me literally rotfl

please help a brother lol

i have non *crying*. i have ogogoroed it, sulphur 8ed it, Indian hemped it but still no show lol

my friend gerrarahia mehn! it's a borrowed language, if he likes make he brutalize it, jam it, flip it upside down and gbagalize it. e no concern you. I no see wetin correct grammar don profit you

From St. Bottles Cathedral;

RULES 4 THOSE WHO WILL BE DRINKING BUT NOT BUYING DURING THIS FESTIVE PERIOD:

1. Respect the buyer; Greet the buyer before you sit.

2. Don't be boring, tell more stories but don't talk more than the buyer.

3. Always help the buyer with carrying beers from the counter.

4. Dance to any music that the buyer likes.

5. Buyer's jokes are always funny so laugh out loud.

6. When the buyer fights, fight.

7. Wait for the buyer to finish his drink before you open another one, no matter how fast you drink. When the buyer stops drinking, stop too.

8. Always drink cheaper drinks than what the buyer drinks (No Heineken for you when he is drinking life)

9. You drink what the buyer wants you to drink.

10. The buyers gal has 2b more beautiful than ur gal if vise visa, the buyer will automatically have ur gal.

11. If the buyer says he had a funeral last year. the mother died u shud cry uncontrollably while u are crying u will hear the buyer say give this man 5 more bottles, he's lost too much water! Lmao!

12. If u ar watching football, support the buyers team even if its arsenal.

Signed: Chief Priest

i have seen this same thread from someone else like 2 months ago. bro go get your own original story. stop plagiarism. stop it!

Adaeze003:
I believe you... all the oloshos and sluts "bond" with their numerous partners.
Preach!

hmm...you think? that's a whole new perspective. didn't see that one coming

Adaeze003:
I believe you... all the oloshos and sluts "bond" with their numerous partners.
Preach!

hmm...you think?

are you soliciting our advice? cos you don't sound like you are. i confuse

WorldStage Newsonline-- The Consumer Price Index (CPI) which measures inflation rose in Nigeria by 0.1 per cent to 9.4 per cent in November from a brief respite at 9.3 per cent in October, according to a report by the National Bureau of Statictics on Monday. According to the report, the index was driven in part by higher prices within the Food and Non-Alcoholic Beverages division as well as increases in the Transportation division as a result of shortages in Premium Motor Sprit (PMS) coupled with the knock-on effect impacting transportation of people and goods across the country.

Food prices as measured by the Food sub-index also increased at higher pace in November. The Food subindex increased to 10.3% (year-onyear) during the month, 0.2% points from rates recorded in October. All major food groups which contribute to the Food sub-index increased at a faster pace during the month with the exception of the Fruits group which has been trending lower since June of this year. Increases in the “All Items less Farm Produce” or Core sub-index rose at the same rate for the second consecutive month at 8.7%, as rates have slowed or held steady for a quarter. The Core sub-index was weighted upon by slower increases in multiple divisions such as Clothing and Footwear; Housing Water, Electricity, Gas and Other Fuels; and Furnishings & Household Equipment Maintenance amongst others. On a month-on-month basis, the Headline Index as well as the Food and Core sub-indices all increased at a faster pace in November. The Headline Index in particular increased by 0.7%, 0.3% points higher from 0.4% in October. It should be noted that the Headline Index is made up of the Core Index and Farm Produce items. As Processed Foods are included in both the Core and Food sub-indices, this implies that these sub-indices are not mutually-exclusive.

All indices which contribute to the Headline index increased at a faster pace (month-on-month) in November with the exception being the Education division. In November, the Urban index grew at the same pace as recorded in October; at 9.4% (year-on year). The Rural index also edged higher from 9.2% in October to 9.3% in November. On a month-on-month basis, both the Urban and Rural indices increased at the same pace, both increasing at 0.7% in November, 0.3% points from 0.4% in October. The percentage change in the average composite CPI for the twelvemonth period ending in November over the
average of the CPI for the previous twelve-month period was 8.9%, marginally higher from 8.8% recorded in October. The corresponding twelve-month year-onyear average percentage change for the Urban index moved in the same fashion increasing from 8.8% in October to 8.9% in November, while the corresponding Rural index
also edged higher to 8.8% in November from 8.7% in October.

FOOD INDEX
Food prices as observed by the Food Sub-index increased to the highest rate recorded this year. Prices
increased by 10.3% (year-on-year) in November, 0.2% points higher from rates recorded in October. The index
was pushed higher as a result of faster increases in the Fish, Bread and Cereals; Vegetable and Meat groups.
On a month-on-month basis, the Food sub-index increased by 0.8% from October, after a relative moderation in rates for the previous three months. All groups which contribute to the Food Sub-index increased at a higher pace, with the highest rises recorded in the Bread and Cereals, Oils and Fats, Vegetables; and Milk, Cheese and Eggs groups. The average annual rate of change of the Food sub-index for the twelve-month period ending in November 2015 over the previous twelve month average was 9.8%. This was marginally higher than the average annual rate of change recorded in October at 9.7%.

ALL ITEMS LESS FARM PRODUCE
The pace of increases recorded by the “All items less Farm Produce” or Core sub-index, which excludes the
prices of volatile agricultural produce increased at the same pace for the second consecutive month, increasing by 8.7% in November. While most divisions that contribute to the Sub-index slowed, the index was supported by increases in the Transportation, Alcoholic Beverage, Tobacco and Kola; and Recreation and Culture Divsions. On a month-on-month basis, the Core Sub-index increased at a faster pace, increasing by 0.6%. This was 0.2% points higher from rates recorded in October. In November, the highest price increases were recorded in Liquid Fuel (kerosene), Fuels and Lubricants for Personal Transport (PMS) due to shortages, Spare Parts as a result of replacement costs, and passenger transport groups. The average twelve month annual rate of rise of the index
was recorded at 8.0% for the twelvemonth period ending in November 2015, 0.2% points higher from the twelve month rate of change recorded in October.

The Federal Government, yesterday, put Nigerians on notice, that its economic measures could lead to more austere conditions in 2016. Minister for Budget and National Planning, Udoma Udo Udoma, said this during consideration of the 2016 to 2018 Medium Term Expenditure Framework (MTEF) at the Senate, adding that it was important that substantial reductions were made in government’s spending pattern in order to effect the expected change. “In preparing the MTEF, we seek a dramatic shift from spending on recurrent to spending on capital aspect of the budget. It is going to be tighter for everybody. All non-essential expenditure would be cut off. We will reduce the overheads by seven percent. We are beginning a journey of change and change has to start with the clarity of purpose of where we are going,” he noted.

Explaining the position further, Minister of Finance, Kemi Adeosun, informed the National Assembly joint committee that the budget would take necessary steps to ensure that whatever money was being taken from the account of any ministry, department and agency (MDA) was done electronically. She added that the new measure would minimise waste and ensure transparency in government spending. The Finance minister equally disclosed that measures had been put in place to compel revenue-generating MDAs to remit all funds they generate to the treasury. “The era when an agency generates money and spends 99 per cent
of it is over,” she added. Udoma, however, told the lawmakers in very clear terms that, “ultimately, we must borrow N1.8 trillion to fund this budget apart from all those adjustments we are trying to make.”

Chairman of the Federal Inland Revenue Service (FIRS), Babatunde Fowler, assured that the service “will increase revenue by over N1 trillion,” adding: “We are targeting N2 trillion from VAT.” Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) Governor Godwin Emefiele, said: “The exchange rate is actually N260 per dollar at the parallel market but the official rate is N197 per dollar. “The CBN rate would revolve around a particular band which is N197. It could swing up to N197 or below. The truth is that, historically exchange rate for budget has never been based on the parallel market rate which as far as we are concerned is
a shallow market because it controls about five per cent of the market. “The market is substantially dominated by speculators and rent seekers. In the last 12 to 15 months, we have seen a massive drop in
commodity prices especially oil that significantly affected the country’s revenue. “That has placed some pressures on the reserves and that also resulted in the speculators and rent seekers in the market. What we did at that time when naira was N155 to a dollar, precisely late 2014, was to adjust the currency and move it from N155 to N197 to a dollar. “We have through that arrangement, depreciated the currency by about 22 per cent. “The objective is to make export cheaper to encourage it but unfortunately we don’t have export. Our export has dropped very drastically in the last 10 years.

akinsal:
Nice. just hope u wont end up offending the person

nah! i do it subtly but firmly. if the person gets offended i do apologize later but that standard has been maintained. so When next it happens such person already knows i really need my time

lemme consult the gods....... tuoyo...tuoyo....opikokporoooo, tuoyo tuoyo tuoyo!!!

hmm....my brother, the gods say make i tell you say Satan don soak your koboko for kerosene for hell dey wait you. the gods has spoken.

i mix well with them owing to the fact im a great listener cos i don't talk much. love listening to them (that is if they are making sense), chipping in few comments or questions at interval, which in-turn makes them talk more.

for those of them not making sense or invading my 'me time', I politely tell them i wanna observe my quiet time.

F lol

the constitution is supreme and supersedes any body's personal or group interest so long such interests don't conform with the statutes of this country, the 'sacred cow' sanusi inclusive. they should let the law reign supreme or are they (APC) gonna use their veto power watching

Ansell:
i did literature.

owkis..

static electricity due to dry air. its obvious you skipped physics class lol

Jesus, bright as the morning star
Jesus, how can I tell You
How beautiful You are to me
Jesus, song that the angels sing
Jesus, dearer to my heart than anything

Sweeter than spring time
Purer than sunshine
Ever my song will be
Jesus, You're beautiful to me

Jesus, bright as the morning star
Jesus, how can I tell You
How beaufitul You are to me
Jesus, song that the angels sing
Jesus, dearer to my heart than anything

dedicated to Jesus who loved me unconditionally. no love greater than that, and that's why i love him.

HrmOlolade:
number 13 is sit on air

yea you right! didn't spot it

This University of Lagos undergraduate, Adekanle Adedoyin has been declared missing. Family sources say he was last seen December 7th when he left home for his school where he was to defend his project. He did not make it to school neither did he come back home. His last phone location indicates Mowe-Ibadan road. Anyone with any useful information about his whereabouts should contact the nearest police station.
GOD be with him. Amen.

please help pass on the message

introduction 2016. white wedding Easter 2017

udysweet:
Hahahaha! Perfect combo. Tnk God for you o,most of dos distubers(any word lik dat,lol) are usually dull o

That's what you get when you grow up in the barracks.

udysweet:
Wow! U really stubborn gan o,lol! I can count d number of times on my hands I've served punishment in school. Infact most of dem,na general punishment,lik odas commit,d whole claSs go suffer am

my dear my own too much. my saviour is im brainy plus likeable.

who climbed the church roof top to bring down a ball......Johnson
who rang the break bell when it's not yet time??..... Johnson
why is the class noisy?...... Johnson

end of term
And the first position goes to.......Johnson
and the winner of 5000m race is.....Johnson