₦airaland Forum

dulux07:
An artistic picture of him

PrecioussB:
Just like the title says.
I have noticed, when guys talk about some exs, they will kinda hint that the girls is an addict or crazy, but then after looking into it, I just realised that these guys can bring a lot of it on themselves, oh do they know how much torment not having closure brings on someone. Not knowing why your once beloved girlfriend or boyfriend refuses your calls, why they won't explain or even see you, why they just disappeared can leave you very confused.

The women aren't crazy because they call you all the time, they are probably really desperate to find out the truth, which guys often don't say (though I've noticed that Nigerian guys, tend to just let it out which can be good at times). This feeling is like being stood in front of a brick wall, the truth is on the other side and the ex is the wall who refuses to budge, to even hint what went wrong, so you're left guessing, you can't see the truth and the ex is barely interacting with you too.

WE NEED CLOSURE, EVERYBODY DOES > now that can drive a woman crazy. All the questions roaming through our heads, of 'why did he leave?', 'why didn't he even tell me what I did?', then you start thinking 'Am I that disgusting that he won't pick up my call?', 'was I that bad a girlfriend that he avoids me?' and worst of all 'I don't want to seem psycho or like a stalker, I'm sure one simple phone call to him will sort everything out.', when these get unbearable, you try and call, and he doesn't pick up because little did you know he's so over you and he doesn't have the time, even just a little time to let you get over him.

MAYBE you guys actually don't want us to get over you. Maybe that is why the mess made is left there. Surely if you want us to move on, you will meet up with us, tell us the deal and move on.

GUYS please understand the power of closure, and so what if you hurt our feelings, at least now we can move on and so can you, and you won't need to explain to your new girlfriend that your ex stalks you and such. Ok, ok, I think the stalking is a bit much, but it is just some women are so desperate to find the answers that they will go to some extents, think of it from your point of view.

Your girlfriend of 7 months, just tells you one day that it's all over. Ok, so in the past 2 months she's been slowly distancing herself from you, less phone calls, visits and barely any enthusiasm, so of course, she's prepared herself for the breakup, but you are completely unaware, you think everything is fabulous, you're even thinking about what to get her for her birthday. The birthday comes, and she's all fantastic, you think you two are a match made in heaven, then a week later, she breaks up with you, and of course you're stunned so you don't ask all the questions you want to ask and the questions just float around in your head, you sulk for ages and then after the initial stage of upset, you now want answers, but guess what, she's moved on, she's now got a new guy, your number's been deleted off her phone, and you're calling to ask her why she left you, because you deserve to know, and she just speaks to you like your wasting her time, she is uneasy to talk to you or acknowledge the good 5 months you spent as a close knit couple, and it hurts, in order to move on, you need to know where you went wrong, so it's not too personal, after all it could easily be her cheating ways or wandering eyes. Just knowing this would save so much soul-searching, further heartbreak and just confusion.

Now do you understand the power of closure?? If you don't I will gladly go on and on and on. .

This is just my plea, so you guys give us a break, stop dragging things along, we know you hate confrontation and hurting our feelings, but being left to our own thoughts could actually really affect us, and is far worse for our psyche than being told the truth.

CLOSURE is KEY!

Peace

Meeyankee:
Coming from a simpii.. read the chat very well why threatening him with the most cheapest commodity which is sex.

Sheriman:
NO!! You don't have any issue with that.. the main thing is your name arrangement and date of birth must be tally and be the same thing on your account.. Changing of Home address to another is just to get the Google PIN as early as possible because if you put in a home address that is not popular or not registered you will just be waiting for years without receiving any damn Google PIN.. that is why many people Change their home address to a popular home address near to a Post office.

Sheriman:
Yes!!! You can!!! Use a popular address in Lagos.. Google AdSense normally send PIN to Lagos Abuja or PH home address

Oluromantic:
Youre abt to marry a mel-chlor or san-mel. Apart from mood swings, they want admiration badly and they get easily angry if not admired. I once dated a girl like that before, I was the one who by myself told her we're not compatible, cus I couldn't cope. She ranted when I told her, abused me and my parents blabla but I felt free like I was caged before. That's me though, you may be able to cope. We're different.

By nature, they lack moderate feelings, emotional independence and stability...that's their weakness. It's usually from one extreme of emotions to the other extreme skipping moderation and balance in-between. At one time, they'll love you like babies, like all their life depends on you. Another time, they'll show serious temper over little things. Either you date for marriage or there's nothing between both of you. No ordinary friendly plays or so at all except birthed by emotions. If you beat her often in a ludo or whot game na wahala. If you decide to be passive abt her swings, she may leave for her parents or friend house for being ignored and that'll be embarrassing. But their strength is being supportive, they can give u their all or even indebt themselves for you in loves name.

If you know u can't cope, you still have time to decide. Forget about family.. only 2 of you'll live together as man n wife. Forget the general conclusion that women are emotional..little things upset them blabla. It's when they want to be selfish they say all that. Not all women are emotional dilly-dallys. Though emotional, some are sensible with their emotions. I'm not wishing you separation at d edge of ur wedding but the truth need be told. You need to be very emotionally balanced and independent on your own to keep her going. If you are, then you can cope, but if you're not, hmmmm...

meobizy:
At 36 she’s still a baby herself. When she gets wiser she’ll undo the message. My only pain is like most Naija women she let herself get fat. I don’t know if the average Nigerian female above 34 years of age is cursed with fat genes.

Lamanii22:
Put a hold on marriage for now... Both of you need to go for therapy sessions... I don't know if you both believe in God, if you do, you can dedicate your lives to God, pray more... Don't look at this situation only on the physical aspect... Look at it from the spiritual too...

itsme01:
First learn a skill(plumbing , welding, barbing, hair dressing ) or any other high demand skills.. then go for your masters in Canada , Australia or Germany.. no matter how bad it is you can get your masters and get some income through your skills , this income can pile up and you putting for your PhD or other coarse and continue working and learning , I can tell you for a fact you would be better off than bumping into business in Nigeria without previous experience