₦airaland Forum

Onegai:
Sorry but no, I'm not joining this. Carry your whistle, put am for ground. Ginger don leave my bodi, anyone that insults me again, I go no answer. Anyone that praises, I still won't answer. It is not about me, it should not even turn to begging anyone to stay or leave or anything. It's not about us.

chai!!!

no film this evening... make i go back go sidon

Uncle.


Be humble joor

5minsmadness:
Onegai and missjo.


Pls take it easy. Both of you are trying in your own ways to help. Dont turn the thread to another thing, it has been progressing remarkably well till this point. Apologies for fraying nerves. You ladies are doing very well for a total stranger.
Take it easy biko.

Anybody that wants to fight should fight. The day is boring already. Let me go and bring my refree's whistle. So because person go vex, make dey no tell am the truth again?

Caveatemptor:
At

Boda... Eni suuuru. So ti gbo?


Ema binu. Whatever it is that happened. Dont take it personal. I said it earlier that she needs therapy. You have seen it from her behavior already

Nna lawaoooooo. Ekwe!!!!

thorpido:
She told me someone offered to open an account for her.When I asked why she couldn't do it herself,she said she doesn't have a utility bill(her mum won't give her any).
I didn't get the nairalander's name on phone because the line wasn't clear.Anyway,I told her opening a bank account was not an emergency.

The reconciliation with the mom is still ongoing.She told me the mother spoke with the baby daddy but his response has not been encouraging.He is yet to show up at their house.
She says she can't go with her mum to the shop today due to nausea and vomiting.

Advice her to go to the shop with her mum tomorrow. Nausea or not. My colleague is having it worse than any one Else I've seen. But she comes to the office, nausea, sleeping, trips to the loo and all.and she's very hardworking

looks like two children to me. which one is the wife and which one is the child?

you are here asking questions. when police men are looking for ways to make money for Christmas. you and your girlfriend should arrange 20k or more. walk straight to the dpo. Make sure you dress responsibly and if you work with a reputable firm, show him your id card and explain. make sure you add pepper and maggi. infact claim your girl has paid 100k before without your consent and the money is yours you want it back and you will give him a cut if you can recover the money...if he ask for evidence tell him your girl paid cash. leave the rest.

my world!!! i do not even know what to say to you. things are really happening in this country. #sighs

you need to have mouth... for these kind of people... my granny will say, na "make i no shame make i no shame go make person cheat me".

my dear, say no and let the no be no! no one will kill you. it is not a crime to be single. so long as you are happy. and mind you, you are not the only one they are talking to. they are all trying their luck with random girls, so its not like the person is special or beautiful but just plain GREED. they are not satisfied with the woman they marry and would lie to make any mumu geh fall... infact cos some sef and warn them well well

Loisemm:
U guys that have been saying she should or must give up her child for adoption are funny. I doubt u are in Nigeria. A poor Nigerian family will never give up their child for adoption. Not even the child of their unmarried daughter soaking garri under their roof.
Talk more of a mama who is capable of providing at least the basic needs for her daughter- Moji and Moji's children!

Pls stop all these trying to plan her life. Offering her contraceptives is still okay sef. But saying she must give up her kid for adoption, she must do this, she must do that... E get as e be o because this girl is not an orphan o. She has people. She is an adult too. However immature she behaves.

... word!!!

TV01:
As you are one of 2 who actually mentione me by name, I will take the time to post a few replies. The others knew to keep thier coo'ings coded, lest I swipe - what's it to be a cat among pigeons

I also have exprience of the West . And I'll tell you something else that occurs. Pet ownership in some countries is quite high. And some people really love their "pets". But it's still ownership - and they are in a sense "gods" to these animals. And, it shows, in the way they speak about, and treat them.

Feral animals will often be "neutered", and you'll hear "owners" talking of "castrating" or "spaying" their pets. But that's to be expected really, they are after all only animals right? But wouldn't you find that kind of language degrading if applied to humans?

Does anyone think that because they may drop something, or even take a genuine long-term interest in this girl, they have the right to make these type of pronouncements;





Along with a number saying she had to terminate the pregnancy?

Only if they prove totally incapable of looking after them. Further, the West is not determinative for Nigeria - there are local customs and morés. This woman is an adult living in the bosom of her family. You get to decide whether you give or not, they get to decide how they wish to proceed. Rendering assistance doesn't give you "ownership", or even rights as such. Is that overly difficult to comprehend?

Nobody beats the drum for the behaviours that leads to flourishing societies on this section more than I do. So please leave that. Where there are negative outcomes from destructive behaviours, we should by all means offer support, and work to breach the gap, but there are limits - and they don't extend to the kind of pronouncement above.

It's not your place to say that. And her antecedents are not necessarily instructive to her future. And even if she cannot, her family - who by the way have been there until now - are next in the hierarchy - not those of us here.

And if she has passed responsibility to “society”, that means any random individual, or FamilyLanders - if “society” does not have codified and workable laws?

Believe what you will, she asked for assistance, she didn’t agree to sign away her freewill, or sign up for a new god , and it says more about those who will think, write and justify that, than it does about her.

It's also good that you notice the kind of person "she is", because as I stated in my OP, I personally don’t see this as a charitable case. Her mother and wider family clearly have the means, her core problem is her rebelliousness.

If she would simply humble and apply herself she’d have a decent chance to make a good go of things. The crusading effort here is mostly "gist and preening" and will serve mostly to enable her on her current path.


TV

hmmmn. Oga ti de...

Jaygrl:
I understand two bodies are different,mine is as severe as my not being able to keep down food. So what do I do? Resign from work? Go on 3 or 4months leave without pay? What of bankers faced with morning sickness? You just keep patching until that phase passes. This is my first pregnancy and everyday I wake up feeling like somebody else.

ndo

jaybee3:
I get your point but she is already showing empathy by being on this thread and providing logical suggestions to the problems

Feedback doesn't always have to a sympathy undertone for it to be tagged as effective

Her selling the tab or at least showing willingness to consider all available options simply means she is ready to get herself out of the mess, No?

i didn't even say asking her to sell the tab is right or wrong... no. Trust me when i tell you i do not even know the best method to tackle this issue at hand. Commanding her doesn't feel right to me. Its my opinion. it doesn't even have to make any sense to you

Eketem:
Great, offer your services or pay for therapy sessions. Onegirl has said her own

Just like i'm saying mine and you yours. No one is being forced to help. If you must, kindly do it in such a way that you do not make the person's self esteem lowest. a broke man is down already, no need to push under.



now i'm not just saying about this particular op. on all counts.

jaybee3:
Do you realise it's insensitive for someone with a luxury asset asking people that are possibly worse off for help?
Nigeria is tough and a large percentage of people that usually donate on NL probably don't own a tab


So here is a scenario to get you thinking:

How would you advice a business man that owns a house in Ikoyi but unable to continue funding his businesses because of bankruptcy. Wouldn't you advice the business man to downsize since his current status can't fund his usual lifestyle?

i'm not saying the op is right, in fact if you ask me i'll say she even needs therapy. There are so many ways one can make another do his/her bidding without imposing. doesn't sound nice at all.

bellong:
Why are you still awake? Are you on night duty...

No. I'm working 6:30 in the morning. I no see sleep collect

moji26:
my dear sister, onegai, I apologize to u, I'm vry sorry for what I said, bt I said that out of frustration ,I'm sorry sister, pls forgive me,and Tanx for ur concern on me since morning, may God continue to bless you

Apologising is not the issue. Being truthful to yourself is the thing. There is honor in hardwork. You are strong and agile. Two hands, leg, eyes, ears, you even have a roof over your heard. You really are unfair to people in idp camp. Did you know they sleep outside under the rain? Without food or clothes. They do not even know where their next meail is coming from. I do not like people that are lazy, deceitful and cunning. And please, stop all these half and half English. We all know you write very well. You really are unfair to people in idp camps

bellong:
I read only the opening post and it reminds me of a lady who once put up a post here before.

The story sounds similar but different moniker. The previous one also came from South Africa with pregnancy because the guy that impregnated her wasn't treating her well. She was staying with the mum and getting insults.

Is this op same with her?

Has her story been confirmed?

She is the one. Playing hanky panky.

Jaygrl:
I read this post from the first page till this very last one. I have this to say about it

I have this type of girl at home,infact she is my immediate younger sis(gave her just 1yr). We were sent to the university almost together,she met a level mate of hers who jointly defrauded my dad,collected house rent and school fees from my dad and both used to open a shop while they lived in the guys apartment and before we knew what was happening she was pregnant in her final year(2012),the guy was beating her blue and black and even when she had her baby my mum left Lagos to the east where she was schooling and had her baby to pay her hospital bill and to also take care of her.

Mum did omugwo(as we igbos call it) for 2weeks and left as she is a very busy person,she employed someone to come help her complete the omugwo,my sis insulted the woman every single day from not knowing how to bath her child well, to not washing clothes properly...the woman left maybe after 1month and I was asked to go tend to my younger sis and her baby since I was in the East at that time for my final clearance. I would wash her clothes and that of her baby,fetch water on my head,walk miles to charge our phones as the idiot she got pregnant for rented a house in the middle of a bush that had no electricity oh yes!!!

Fast forward to when I told my dad I was leaving there after 2weeks as I couldn't bear such hard living condition,Dad amidst all the shame he had to bear as we are from a very strict Christian background(deeper life) just said she should come back to Lagos. People insulted my parents that they didn't train her well bla bla bla.... My parents bore all that shame and said she should leave that girl and go back to school which she did.

My dear sweet niece became 1yr in 2013,my sis incured an extra year and had to go back to school again in 2014,we heard again that she was pregnant for the same guy,my parents went berserk with anger. My dad stopped sending her money in school(note:my dad trained the first 3 of us in the University same time and sends 4000naira every week to each of us as he is a business man and sends weekly and he makes profit) so she had no excuse to follow a boy not even a man sef(mtcheeeww).

The guy again started acting up,she was so hungry in school. My dad asked nobody to send her shingbai(no money at all) I had started serving at time and I was using my money to run a professional programme so I no kukuma get to give person wey no get sense(wr were given equal opportunity). My mum had to ask her to come back home,the day she did come home she was like a ghost, she had lost so much weight,her eyes were sunken,she came in October 2014 and by December 2014 she had the 2nd child a male baby(the first is a female). Infact my mum took the delivery, as she is a midwife and wanted to take care of her herself.

To the main story,my sis started her troubles,she would insult my mum at ever given opportunity and even call my mum as in my mama harlot!!! She blamed everybody for what happened to her. She was ready to fight my brother's who is older than by the way but are very much bigger than her. She hated her immediate younger bro so much as he was done with NYSC at that time and she was still at home. She insisted my mum buys SMA gold for her son,golden morn,peak 123 for her daughter,she wastes pampers as she uses them for both children like it isn't bought with money(at that time I decided to stop giving my mum money) my mum adviced her to give her children pap she insulted my mum that day eh and said Pap(ogi) is for povery stricken people and that she isn't poor(she person wey no get money o).

The boy went for youth service that 2014 and finished in 2015 and she hasn't been able to go for youth service as she is owing alot in school and my dad isn't ready to spend one extra dime on her education. So somehow she got a job in a school as read pol.science education and the owner of the school after her story had pity on her and said she would pay half of the school fees for her daughter while her son would be free.

She takes everyone in the house as an enemy,my mum dares not even talk to her about how to take care of her children,she doesn't talk to my brother's,I became her enemy too one day I tried advising her and she asked me not to ever touch her children. She does nothing in the house,as in she doesn't even sweep not to talk of cooking (mumsy had to get a girl to help out at home). As she started working,she doesn't even contribute anything in the house,she will put on the gas and it will just be wasting. When her children is hungry especially the first daughter she just shouts at her to go meet her grandparents abeg.

Fast forward to this year,immediately she heard I was getting married she started keeping malice with me and stopped greeting my husband. I was so happy to move out of the house eh,in my house you can't cough ad if you do she would say you are talking about her so my husband and I planned and wedded in a space of 2months. She had plant her ear on the room of my parents door to hear if they are talking about her,she has been caught doing that on several occasions.

My Parents prayer everyday is for her to leave the house as they don't have the mind to throw her out with her kids.

Dear Moji,which mother do you want to be happy to see her daughter misbehaving and from your previous post 2yrs ago you are supposed to go on your knees this very point and beg that woman for forgiveness....I have watched my mum cry for my sis and even laid a curse on her as it is very painful and frustrating to see your own child rebel against you.

I will tell you what I tell my sister, you need more than just financial help...You need both psychological and spiritual help too.

Sorry for boring you all with a long post. Moji I will call you later in the day.

Mmadu na avu ive. Hmmmm

moji26:
infact,let onegai continue, let her continue to judge me as if her life is perfect, I never even tell her directly to give me money, it's who really want to help, some people are very good at castigating people even at d point dat they re dying, she has been calling me since, discussing with me about selling my tablet phones, I think she really ve problem with tablet phones, cos she fantasizes about having one, though I asked nairAlanders for help bt I dnt need all dis insult from her, she ve been insulting me since morning calling me on my phone, pls nairalanders, I take dis as a case of harassment, nobody here is perfect, I do everything I did in d past to care for my baby as my mum is not of support, so dnt blame me, and thorpido tanx vry much for d help u render to me, I pray u see someone too as a helper in life, my God will continue to bless u and ur family and never forget u, thorpido, thank u once again

You do not need help go and make people's hair. You will be paid for HARDWORK

Onegai:
Listen to me. Open your ears and listen to me.

You need to get your life in order. It is wake-up time. No more excuses, go and sell that tab NOW. Go and apologise to your mother and you better kneel down for her. I'm going to call you in a short while and I want you to be quiet the entire conversation. We are going to have a talk. Is your whatsapp working now?

I do not like the way you are commanding her.

uuh and rayitin epp

am sorry i could not help you ask. please forgive me.
pray you find your relative soon. errrm, why was there no communication all these while?

my cousins are from umudioka... i'll ask them when i get home. still at work

EfemenaXY:
Na slow motion una dey?

She's given an update on this page: The guy has paid back the full amount plus interest.

N250k repaid after she got the police involved.

Thank you my sister. Na the story vex me i no gree read anything again.

Pidggin:
Is this a joke? She is not married to you, it's not your responsibility to take care of her, don't interfere in their marriage except you are invited to

You need to find yourself a husband and kids also get a job dear all these things will occupy your time. Leave your brother and his wife to live their lives, make their mistakes, learn from them and grow. I hope your sister-in-law knows the type of family she got married into sometimes people need to consider things like this abnormalities before thinking of love, smh

madam... calm down... no body is interfering with anything... SHE IS MY WIFE!!!! i do not know why it is making you worked up... and why for heaven's sake are you trying to add hand and leg to what we are talking about? on the bolded... she didn't know when she was coming in, so she came with fight... and when she realized no one had horns she decided to adjust... on her own. i see you already have a paranoid mindset about every grooms family... please change it... and like i said earlier.... i would treat her right... same way i would want to be treated when i get married...
i have a job sweetheart... @husband and kids.... errrmmmmm.... when i'm ready

hmmmmn.... babe... forget that money. run. run run



that was how the others where waiting to collect their money and they caught belle... babe. fleeee!!!!! faster than usain bolt sef

nnamdiosu:
whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe it can achieve.... those were the words that first struck me as i looked at your post. I know u hurting deep inside. Truth is the best any one here (including me) can do is to give you advice upon advice. You are the one who can really actualize them. i read what you told veave.....about you not really demanding for money from him, that all you need is love and care.
Yet he still cheats.
and yet he still apologizes, infact very quick to apologize.
so...something doesnt just add up here. This sounds more of a spiritual battle than physical
I'll be frank with you. You seem like a nice person, and i hate giving nice people sad news.
The truth is....ONLY GOD CAN HELP YOU (AND YOUR HUSBAND). See, unknown to many people some men just can't cheating. Its not about you, its just a craving in some men that only God can save them from. But you need to help me, stand in the gap for him, pray for him. Dont stop loving him. You can do it, i know u can becos....you already know that WHAT THE MIND CAN CONCEIVE.....
I'll be praying for u guys.I'm sure others will too. Your marriage wont fail. God will see you true. It's well

i've missed you my love...

Pidggin:
Sorry dear, she is not your wife. She is married to your brother not you. You are her sis-in-law not her husband

you wrong baby. she's my wife... its my responsibility to take care of her if my brother is not around

Pidggin:
So this makes her your wife?

Yes my love. I promise to treat her right just as i would want to be treated too