₦airaland Forum

He says you're wasting his spérm?, that's a first!

Hmmm, lets see now. Other than the times I was turned down by women with whom I was hoping to disrobe and do the nasty, I have NEVER experienced any form of injustice in the UK or United States.

So much for injustice!

Kai, see as every díck, duck, and duckling dey wash Mama gee

I guess we'd be seeing less of her in the nearest future, many thanks to today's feat!

[size=15pt]Mama Gee for MOD and Becomerich for Deputy MOD[/size]

vote wisely. . .vote for change!

And this makes the front page because?

tkb417:
LOL, sometimes it matters

how do u hit the 'chord' when your tool is like my index finger?

chei! na only book i been dey think say you sabi

My heart goes out to all the poor Indian chics

A survey of more than 1,000 men in India has concluded that condoms made according to international sizes are too large for a majority of Indian men.

The study found that more than half of the men measured had joysticks that were shorter than international standards for condoms.

It has led to a call for condoms of mixed sizes to be made more widely available in India.

Over 1,200 volunteers from the length and breadth of the country had their joysticks measured precisely, down to the last millimetre.

The scientists even checked their sample was representative of India as a whole in terms of class, religion and urban and rural dwellers.

The conclusion of all this scientific endeavour is that about 60% of Indian men have joysticks which are between three and five centimetres shorter than international standards used in condom manufacture.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/6161691.stm

blame it on the testosterones! 

Nigerian central bank chief Lamido Sanusi added his weight on Wednesday to discussions on a review of the 2010 budget, questioning current assumptions both for the price of oil and on domestic output levels.

Nigeria's House of Representatives is in talks to lower the benchmark oil price in the expansionary spending plans to as low as $55 a barrel from the current $67 to reflect a fall in global prices, according to a senior lawmaker.

"An assumption of an oil price over $60 is unrealistic," Sanusi told Reuters in an interview on the margins of the African Development Bank's annual conference in Ivory Coast.

Asked whether oil prices could be further dented by a debt crisis in the euro zone, where banks remain reluctant to lend to counterparts exposed to southern European sovereign debt, Sanusi replied:

"There is the chance it will damp the price of crude," he said of oil prices, which have fallen below $70 a barrel on a range of factors including market concern over Europe.

Nigeria is heading for a presidential election in 2011 and more than a third of this year's budget is for capital spending on areas including infrastructure, the power sector and development in the oil-rich Niger Delta.

Oil accounts for more than 85 percent of government revenues in sub-Saharan Africa's second largest economy. Any shortfalls from oil revenues mean the government has to borrow, affecting bond, money market and interest rates.

Sanusi was also sceptical about an existing assumption in the 2010 Nigerian budget of daily oil output of 2.35 million barrels per day (bpd), cautioning that this was over-ambitious given persistent security problems in the Niger Delta.

While there have been no major attacks on oil facilities in the Niger Delta since an amnesty programme for gunmen was launched last year, bunkering -- the theft of industrial quantities of crude oil -- has increased, causing damage to pipelines.

Lawmakers are also looking at revising the budget's naira exchange rate of 150 naira to the dollar. On Wednesday, the Nigerian currency was trading at 152.08 to the dollar.

Without commenting directly on whether the naira-dollar assumption should be reviewed, Sanusi said he expected the rate to remain around its current levels through 2010 and was confident inflation could be kept under control.

"We believe inflation will be held in check. As long as it remains in the low double-digits, we can live with that," he said of consumer prices, which grew at an annual 12.5 percent in April compared to 11.8 percent in March.

http://af.reuters.com/article/investingNews/idAFJOE64P0EY20100526?pageNumber=1&virtualBrandChannel=0&sp=true

Justice is all about fair play, and to keep individuals within the boundaries of the laws of federal republic of Nigeria.

If the individuals you claim are being politically hunted feel they haven't committed any crime to begin with, then they wouldn't be behind the bars or even be on the run.

Either they are OBJ's enemy or not does not suffice in situations like this, they were thieves to begin with, and that in itself is what is wrong!

If i hold a public position and i haven't committed myself to looting the treasury , i wouldn't worry about making enemies with whoever i wish.

Why is the EFCC not going after the likes of Wole Soyinka?. . .afterall he's not friends with OBJ?

That said, I believe a permanent solution to issues like this is to grant the EFCC and ICPC powers of total autonomy on decisions. 

I'm also of the school of thought that issues surrounding selection and appointment of the chairman of the two bodies should solely be the responsibility of the ministry of Justice. The ministry should also set up a governing body to supervise such appointment and make sure that only individuals that are clearly without a biased mindset are selected.

Besides that, i'm also of the opinion that the EFCC should be made to disclose all its cases to the public, and the outcome of such cases.

i really wish it came with a jacuzzi and a golf course! . . .the bus is darn cute!

2roll:
I have had a similar experience,  I met a girl online over 2 yrs ago and we became friends. She has visited my house two times in the past and in those occasions i didnt suspect any bad behavoiur. she just graduated from one of the universities in the south east and is waiting for NYSC. Just last week she called me dat she would want to visit me in PH. I told her to come and she spent about 3 days in my house. On the day she was to go back, i gave her #4,000 for her transport, she stays at ABA. She collected this money without any complain. Because i go out from the house early to meet up for work, i told her where to drop the keys to the house when she is going. Meanwhile, i didnt let her know i was going out with the spare keys.


When i came back home, i didnt find d key where i asked her to drop it.  I had to open the door with the spare key only to discover that my home theater is no longer there, my travellin bag which she used to carry the home theater, phone and disigners perfume. I put a call tru to her and she confirmed taking them, i asked her why and she said she wanted to teach me a lesson.

I was really very angry. Many things came to my mind, but im happy now i have come over all that. She is on facebook. I wounder how many guys she must have looted. So guys learn from my mistake for i have also learnt my lessons

she sent three whooping days at your crib?

and you come here to cry blood over your home theater?

Frankly speaking i don't see much advantage in a two party system, i sense it is much likely to add to our problem rather than solve to it.

A two party system, while it might help to reduce the staggering levels of electoral rigging, as well as keep the government focused, and aligned within objectives, has some downside which cannot be waved aside.

The system is much more likely to increase "god-fatherism" in the long run, and rather than have talents at the helms of politics, we are much likely to be blessed with folks who see leadership as a business and have only been able to move up the ladder through family connections.

Either way, it is difficult to really come to terms with an ideal permanent solution to the political debacle of the country called Nigeria

To say I'm dazzled by the way people think is to underestimate my surprise in the very least.

Now the argument many folks are putting forward is that it is wrong to arrest and put a thief on trial just because there are other thieves out there who are walking free---what a dumb school of thought!

they come up with all funny excuses of political with-hunt and what not, even convicts like Alameseghia find a quick shelter in "I'm being hunted because i'm Obasanjo's enemy", and the gullible ones among us are quick to shed a tear or two for the bloody thief!

I bet if IBB gets arrested today, some folks with an amazing low level thought process will come here tomoro to scream blood that his arrest is political, and in another week or two, complain still about the bad leaders Nigeria is unfortunate to be blessed with.

A thief is a thief, i don't give a running mouse's arse whether his arrest is politically motivated or not.

As for the folks screaming selective Justice, truth is there will always be selective Justice, since the arm of the law is not long enough to catch em all at once, but i take consolation in the fact that the few ones caught are made scape goats.

felifeli:
@poster
Do I think you are arrogant ? No.
But you have been far too foolish to expect more (or less) than you've got so far. After more than 100 posts committed into Nairaland it should have dawned on you ages ago that Nairaland is full of teenagers, loafers, dimwits and sundry lunatics and so, hardly the place to go asking any serious question about matters that are close to your heart and especially matters on which your life may depend  .
If you are a lecturer in UK I have no idea why you want to leave. Maybe you are just fed up with the place (as happened to me) and you needed to be closer home , or maybe for another reason. You must weigh your reason well though and determine what you want to gain from the move. If you are looking for same standard of living (?) as in UK, I will advise you to stay away - though a lot also depends on how bad your credit situation may have become in UK  in these crazy times. If your credit cards have been repo-ed  then RUN, because there is no way to survive in UK on bad credit. If you must return home really do realise that you must have another source of income other than from your lecturing job (sell cars, sell clothes , sell anything). And for God's sake DO NOT LIVE IN LAGOS. That place is not fit for human beings and you will be dead in two years. Guaranteed.

You haven't really exercise any bit of wisdom in your response!

. . .Comparing the previous responses with yours, wouldn't you consider it ironical that the same group of people you labelled as dimwits, good for nothing, loafers and sundry lunatics seem to have given advise that beats yours by a million light years?

I guess it's just a case of an ídiot calling the wise foolish.

The Poster asked for advise on relocating to Nigeria, and you are here spitting trash about his credit situation in the UK, advising him to become a cloth or car merchant, for goodness sake, do you have a problem understanding even the simplest things?

On a normal day, i would've simply ignored your senseless rantings and take you for a drunk until i read the last bit of your gabbage where you advised Poster not to live in lagos cos in your own words[i] "the place is not fit fot human beings"[/i]. . . .you gotta be on drugs!. . . definitely on cheap drugs

One is a Public séx worker, the other is a Private séx worker

yemmight:
Why are all of you crticising this man. Did you read the interview? This guy is a victim of political ambition of OBJ period. This guy was loved, supported by his people. During his time, we never encounter kidnapping in that region. Infact Yaradua invited him to come help solve the niger delta unrest. Honestly has done so many damages to this country than reparing it.

seriously?. . so you read his interview and you believe everything he said, just because its coming from him?. . . the dude stole money, lots of money!

Ebonyeyes:
You think he cares about that? cant you see the desperation in his eyes? I know a brother who married an 80yr old woman for papers. He cheats on her though.

Oh, he does?

***whispers***. . .okay, maybe Odunnu

she seems the only sane minded chic around

don't do secret internet admirers.

How do i know they aren't Morons in the real life

9ja4eva:
@Poster
WOW!This is very interesting.I guess majority of us have fallen victims before.


I am still suffering from the after effect of internet love.I met a girl on facebook too
a year ago and we got dating online though i have seen her pics and seen her on webcam i have never met her.She deleted her facebook account and had me delete mine that since we dating she wouldn't love facebook wahala which i gladly did.The first scam was she had to celebrate her birthday and needed to take her friends out so she needed help.I chop dt one and sent her 50,000 which she said she recieved but will appreciate it i can send her another as she borrowed money from her friend to add up to the one i sent her earlier.

I passed on that but then she came back again that she was so broke and will appreciate it if i can send her some money.I had my cousin in Nigeria send her 15,000 which she recieved and didnt even bother calling me back to say thank you not untill i called her.She said she didn't have credit, i had a friend in Nigeria send her 1500 MTN which she recieved and called me for 1minute.I was warned when these signs were coming but i didn't listen cos there was just something about her that didnt make me see the light.

I also became her recharge card vendor.As i loaded her bb for her 5k every month for 5months.I was insulted on various occasions for this when the card didn't come early.She called me up one day, started insulting me that she has not seen this kind of relationship before, that most of her friends doing long distance have gifts from their guys over there but i have never sent her anything which makes her think i am fake.I got pissed off at that statement cos she has never sent me anything or even tried to use her card to call me and stay for long on phone like i do.She came again saying she was so sorry about what she said earlier that she was so broke that she needed some money.I fell for that and had my cousin send her 20,000 on a Wednesday.Called her on Sunday and asked her hope u financially stable now?She answered me saying "What do u expect I didn't want to ask you for more money so you wouldn't say rubbish".This statement pissed me off and i guess i started realizing from this point that she was a scam.

She came back days after saying she doesn't have a dime on her (as usual) and will need some money.So i played along this time around asking her how much, she said like 40,000 will do.I said sure i will send it to you which i never did cos i was pissed off at the fact that she was extravagant and more of a scam artiste.When she realized i wasn't forthcoming she started calling me saying i have changed and that i was so wicked and heartless.I just didn't say a word to her but decided i will stop picking her calls and leave her alone.The amazing thing about this girl is she never takes the bus, she does more of cabbing and when i asked her about it she challenged me saying if i was in Nigeria will i enter the smelling and choked up bus.I was dumbfounded.

Till today it affects me cos i just felt i wasted my time and resources on someone who was a joker.At times i think of it cos i really loved the girl but i guess doing away was the right thing.Please people beware of such people.They really exist and i don't know what they take but when they sting they do real bad.

Wat do u guys think?

erhmmm. . . i have a bridge i'd like to sell to you, at a discount of course.

It's a family bridge and its the biggest in the UK.

I'd like to dispose it cos i really can't maintain it again, pls find attached below the pictures.

I'm very sure you'd be interested, it'd cost about 2 million pounds, pls note that the value is close to 80 million pounds.

Meddler:
I hear ya. I'm gng to rely on my savings till by the grace of God something pans out and also be registering for NYSC . So one year is gng to be dedicated to NYSC. But I am preparing myself mentally. Is it really that bad?? I mean I understand the lack of basic stuff i take for granted here but is it really that bad. I guess a part of me is just hoping that everyone's stance on Nigeria is being blown out of proportion. But oh well I'll be having first hand experience pretty soon.

It depends on your threshold for comfort, like a poster rightly said, cash is king is naija!

If you've got enough $$$, you really can afford to pay for your ish all the way through.

Try not to get kidnapped while at it tho!

Beauty {as in smoking hawt}

intelligence {an IQ of above 180}

i really don't care about other stuffs

viperman:
Because it's a [size=18pt]porshe[/size]

nice response!

its expensive becos its a Porshe!

Most people that buy Porsche don't look at budget, they just buy one!

strangleyo:
It would be nice to invade their country and dig up and sell their uranium, buy them food in return for their independence, and build a giant wall between us and them.

lmao!

@OP: if you are really considering walking down the aisle with this chic of urs, you might wanna consider taking some karate lessons

great video!

[quote author=mama-gee link=topic=450016.msg6077979#msg6077979 date=1274553955][color=deeppink]Don't be a daft!
Does this thread deserve a thread?
When you have the opportunity to use the internet, make the most of it.
Spunk![/color][/quote]me thinks you need some whipping!