₦airaland Forum

Douchebags like this!

, It involves cooperation of at least 70% of your lecturers from year 1 to final, some outside your dept, Nigerian universities have not become that bad. Principled lecturers still exist in good percentage who will not be party to such.

I disagree with this position. Nigerian Universities are really that bad. How else could one explain a situation where students who haven't attended a single course in universities ended up with degrees? Your assumptions seem to lie in the fact that lecturers are the only ones involved in manipulation of result, neglecting the fact that a larger percentage of scandals in the Uni seem to emerge from the administrative staffs.---people in charge of students records, clerks, managers, administrators, etc etc. . . .Who says you need 70 percent of your lecturers?

In a school like OSU where it's common to have departmental population in upwards of 3000 students, and combined with the Nigerian factor of poor record keeping, it's almost impossible for lecturers to have detailed accurate records on each and every students, and in several cases, the intergrity of student data is left in the hands of people earning little less than 30k a month. With less than 5 million naira cash, it's very possible to find people who are happy to change a few Bs to As without sweat.
Most people probably don't bother paying "the price" for a first class, probably because they don't need it anyway as most employers only require a minimum of 2:1 as a criteria for graduate employement. Imagine a word where the minimum criteria is a first class degree, without doubts, we are more likely to witness more "first class" graduates who could hardly explain the relevance of their course.

lol

^^

Phew!! didn't see that, thnks tho!

REASONS TO DATE NAIJA MEN:

1. He understands your accent.

2. He knows that when you suffix every sentence with 'now', its not a command, e.g. "Come let's go now, "

3. When you guys go out, he pays and doesn't expect a refund of exactly half!

4. He understands why you have to send money home - probably doing the same himself!

5. He doesn't see your kid sister staying in your house as an inconvenience/ cramping his style.

6. He doesn't think you should put your parents in a home.

7. He eats 'Gbegiri and Amala' and doesn't think it's 'yucky' or 'spicy'. In a nutshell, loves your cooking.

8. He gets your jokes.

9. The way he licks his ten fingers 'cos that Ogbono soup with Iyan hit da spot, Oh Yes!!!

10. He has got his education or he got something going on.

11. He may be a baby daddy but he loves his kid and takes care of him.

12. He can have a bus load of conversation without him saying much 'cos his momma taught him that.

13. He loves to see you shake that ass to Sir Shina Peters, the original "Back That Ass Up" master.

14. He will settle an argument and say sorry while maintaining his man status.

15. I am IN charge but he is THE charge, we understand that.

16. He knows where he is from. Living in NY does not mean you are from NY.

17. He thinks you're so pretty without makeup.

18. He calls you native endearing names like "Nne" or "Omo."

19. He has respect (not to be confused with obedience) for his elders (important).

20. The way he gets embarrased and says "I beg oh" when you compliment him.

21. The way he says "I love you baby" ? may be very fake yet sounds so TRUE!

22. The way he eats meat with his bare hands? for some reason it is sexy to me.

23. The way he calls you his wife in front of all his friends.

24. The way he says "Shey you get am" when he thinks you are not paying attention, but you really are.

25. The way he knows that it is you calling and answers the phone "Hey Baby!" without looking at the caller ID.

26. The way Naija men look when they are all decked out in native? there is nothing sexier than a dark chocolate man in lace o!

27. Pronounces your name like say na im born you.

28. The way he flows from Ebonics to Pidgin English to Akata with ease.

29. He is just at home at your office picnic as he is at the Naija reunion.

30. The very satisfied look on his face after eating one of your meals and the way he glares at you while picking his teeth with the tooth pick,and you both know that you are his next "meal".

31. He appreciates the art of yanshrolling when he sees one!

32. Keeps yo from doing wahala by buying a stickshift vehicle he knows U can't drive!

33. He saves you money on groceries a la "limited diet". Just cook the stew and he'll figure the rest? Eba, Amala, Fufu or even plain old White Bread!

34. No need for breast implants to impress am!

35. No need to go kill himself trying to maintain a six pack. He knows u know big belle is sexy inside Agbada!

36. He knows to allow you like three hours to get ready for a party!

37. He will not complain when you waka with headful of rollers inside house but quick to let you know that aint nothing sexy about that when you want to go outside.

38. Her singing while doing housework is a classic reminder of wetin you dey miss when you dey carry Akata woman!

39. His lunch (Rice, Beans, Dodo, complete with carefully selected assorted meat) wey you pack for am na something u know sey im no go wait "Palam" (gobble up!) when him reach work.

40. He thinks the small gap between your front teeth are actually sexy!!!!

Finally; Cool Cos He Is Just A Naija Man Period!!!"



Stolen from https://www./2336484090/

busygirl:
It doesn't kill but you have to be strong to keep going. I have tried being strong, but the heartbreak plus some external factors has had me showing symptoms of depression. So now, I'm looking up and down for a therapist.

??

I now understand why our universities churn out half baked graduates with the mindset of the poster.

Very slow thought process

You two should slow your roll, the topic is actually a valid one for argument, like it or not. . .

[b]Most [/b]people that 'sor't do so just to graduate, not to have First Class. First Class goes with a lot of societal expectations that no sane lecturer or department will dash it by runz.

[b]It is nearly [/b]impossible to obtain a 1st class result purely through 'runs'.

Keywords; "Most" , "nearly"

Is it safe to then infer that it is actually possible, but we can't really ascertain or measure to what extent?

The logic here is; if a 2:1 is available for sale, why not first class?. . .are there not cases, where an average student who should normally graduate with a 2:1, ended up with a first class degree due to questionable relationships he or she had with some key members of faculty?

very wonderful suggesstions, I can assure you that there are many lawyers that are interested in personal injury claims, the fact that you dont read about all of them in the papers doesn't mean they dont exist. Its however unfortunate that our justice system is so sluggish that you discover that some of this cases have not ended 3-4 years after the suit was filed, then factor in the fact that u mght not be called to argue your case before the court of appeal a whole year after the appeal was filed, should give you a fair idea of how frustrating for both lawyers and litigants our court system can be. I know a lot of lawyers who unfortunately believe in sueing first and then asking questions later so trust me when i say there are many lawyers who are looking for the next victim to represent, but 3-4 years down the line, most litigants are frustrated and end up opting out of the suitsand deciding to seek justice from God.

True words!

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On the otherhand, I slightly disagree when you say that such cannot be 'modelled'. Anyway,I will take the gentleman's path of honor, so that 'we' can stick to the topic at hand.

Me too!

Where about are you based? I sincerely do hope that we can meet sometime

currently based in the UK, you?

.

I beg to ask this-if ROI amongst other indices is not used as a "metric for performance measurement" (I presume that you mean portfolio management of any kind i.e.securities, bonds,collective investment schemes e.g mutual funds, ET funds, managed directly to meet the specific benefit of investors),then what is?, please educate me!

there's no need to go into technicals so we don't derail the thread. (we've done a good job at that already)

deenee:
Post indicates that the poster is clearly disgruntled. I have had a taste of banking (institutional and commercial in Nigeria and presently IB abroad) so, I can tell you that the stress we claim to go through in Nigeria  is nothing compared to that over here.

Let's me quite frank-how of us say that we can perform 'wonders' during the interview period and even drop 'names' just to get the job? Seriously, would you expect to be in a sales and marketing team and not contribute anything either in form of asset creation(loans and advances) or liability generation?

If the poster feels that the MD is not 'ok' upstairs, let her come abroad and see how it is done. I do accept that the system of banking is somehow 'flawed' in Nigeria but if you think you are under stress then I would recommend she should come and work in a IB team over here. Where you are given a portfolio to manage with a specific industry target under focus, certain products to market and deadlines to meet and everyday is a fight for survival.

All the MD is asking is for you to open accounts, they have not asked that you go over and above this simple request. You have not been asked to conduct an environmental scan to identify new lending opportunities for your employer, you have not been use scenario analysis to  create best and worst case scenarios for  an existing line of credit,you have not been asked to coordinate a M and D deal  for any of your clients, you have not be assigned a portfolio of funds (six or seven figure estimate) to manage and which should not have  less than 35-45% ROI., you have not been asked to market securitized products or derivatives to HNW clients or even develop some fancy 'financial modelling' software to hedge spot and forward trades in the volatile FX or commodities markets,you have not been asked to do some high risk prime brokerage transactions, JUST OPEN ACCOUNTS!

FYI, the merger between Access and ICB has gone through and a TIA (transaction implementation agreement) has been signed. What is left is the post integration process which should commence any moment from now. Finally, making public, your MD's memo on a domain like this, is rather very 'unprofessional'.



P.S  IB is the acronym for Investment banking and HNW-high net worth, QED!

Nothing in your post above, describing job functionalities in the Investment Banking/Management industry, compares with asking young ambitious graduates; to brave the heat of the scorching sun or the shivering showers of the coldest storm; to lie, entice , conjure, and in some rare cases, threaten costumers, to open several bank accounts in a poverty laden economy!. .


Additionally, if anything should be deemed as "unprofessional" and i dare say, unruly, then surely, it must be the Managing director's attitude to employees. It's unacceptable and unfounded in the modern world to ever use such uncouth and rude tone when addressing colleagues, such things would only ever happen in Nigeria!

My initial plan is to work in the oil and gas industry and then return to law practice after some years.

I believe, though without proof that, that the services of an oil and gas lawyer will be required in E&P firms, oil services companies, and also law firms that handle briefs on behalf of these firms. Though i must confess that i am not sure if such services are desperately required.

I am being sponsored by family, i dont have such funds

Just a little under two years experience as a lawyer

I must confess that i have no links that i can leverage, as you pointed out if i had any such links i would have used them to secure a plum job.

i have not considered a collaboration of such as regards the oil industry, i believe that to do such one needs to have at least an average knowledge of the workings of the oil and gas industry, anoda reason that prompted my decision to apply for the course.

In all honesty, i had considered setting up shop with a couple of friends but i must confess that as weird as it sounds its easier to get money to go abroad to study than to be entrusted with even 1/3 of such funds to start your own practice.

If your family is willing to foot your bill without breaking a sweat, then by all means, GO FOR IT!!!!. . as I don't see much prospects in your current job. You should however learn to manage your expectations carefully as there are chances that you might not get the dream job you've always hoped for in the oil and gas industry!. . .if in a case such situation arises, (which in many cases it does), you should have a plan B handy!

Your expectations should be such that you are only looking forward to gaining the knowledge and professional status that comes with your masters degree and that you are willing to pay any price in terms of expenses and loss of current earnings, to gain that status. . . If this is not the primary reason for your Masters degree, i'd advise you to reconsider your motivations carefully!

If however you are open to starting your own shop, i'd advise that you look into personal injury claims; Quite frankly, i feel this is an area that has not been well explored by young lawyers to build a solid brand name (which is a requisite for success in the industry) for themselves.

If you own a small shop where you offer "no wins, no pay" services, without doubt before the end of the year, amidst several daily human right abuse going on in the country, you are likely to have a few dozen cases going on for you!
From my observations, only a minor percentage of victims ever bother to obtain justice anywhere, especially when government officials are involved. All you simply need to do is to set up a website and offer free consultation to anyone who thinks he/she's a victim, and then you sue on their behalf assuring them that you will only charge if the case is decided in your favor!

For instance, recently, Lagos state "deported" a few individuals from Lagos! which is contrary to the code that supports the freedom of movement of Nigerians within Nigeria. All you have to do as a personal claims lawyer is to obtain consent from a few of the individuals involved and then sue Lagos state government for millions on their behalf!. . .If you don't win the case, you would ve lost your time and effort and you wouldn't get paid by your clients, but if you do win the case, not only will your name be splattered across all known media, you are assured of getting PAID!!!!

@OP:

What would you like to do after your masters? . . . . Work in an oil and gas industry or a law firm?

Do you intend to do your masters now to get better prospects in a law firm or are you just attracted by the prospects of becoming a specialist?

What companies in Nigeria would require the services of a Llm oil and gas holder?  What companies need those services desperately?

do you have a sponsor or do you intend to dip into your life savings?

How many years of law practice experience do you currently have?

Knowing fully well that the chances of staying and working in the UK after your masters are very slim, what's the plan B?. . . do you have strong links in Nigeria whose influence you can leverage on upon graduation?. . . .If yes, why aren't they helping you at the moment to get a better job?

Other options as mentioned in Jarus's post above is to begin a process all by yourself or jointly with friends, have you considered this?. . . .If yes, do you have enough capital for this?

Have you considered spending at most, half of the amount you intend to spend on your education, in starting up a small/medium scale law practice?

As Yoruba people say, 'ise ole ni ole nje'

Your next beer is on me!


@Poster:

Are there specific reasons you're currently considering either of them?. . .mapping your motivations and ability to your career objectives count a lot.

if however you'd have to choose between the two, i'd say go for Architecture! Architecture provides a lot of ground for sustainability and self dependency over the longer term. You wouldn't need to find a "job" to survive, you can simply work on joint contracts with people.

foreman:
Nigerian christians; money worshippers,primitive people. The british will be wondering whether its the same christianity or not.

The British are not custodians of Christianity, why should we give a fck what they think?

If Julius Berger will be paid for the services, and if Julius Berger retains a right to decline the contract, then common logic dictates that the use of the phrase[i] " Fg Orders Julius Berger"[/i] is totally inappropriate!

Knowledge is light and so the sages say, forever t'will be the light, to serve humanity!

--Tai Solarin.

I think this is a bit lame to be honest.

akiolu:
You are annoyed because you are concerned. Thanks

The helping in the house chore is not a daily thing. I said 'if I am not tired'
House work can be tiring. I have issues with housemaids/servants and so I am against that. However, that does not make your input irrelevant. You are still on the money

Thanks!

Like i said, being assertive is what you need.
From what i can sense, she doesn't respect you enough which is a very dangerous thing.  If your wife doesn't give a damn what you think, it means you are being too sloppy!

A man must learn to draw his lines and enforce it!. . . If you don't let people know, that there will be consequences for their actions and you re willing to punish them for the things they do wrong, you'd continue to be the pole and they the pigeon!

Being assertive without bein violent (no pun intended) is the key. . .if you don't like it, spell it out right from the onset, taking bullshyt does not make you a "loving husband", it makes you a fcking pant!  if you do the dishes, cut veggie, and still have to do a full time work while she sits her [i]a[/i]rse down doing nothing, why the hell does she not have the right to fill your lungs with farts?

A woman will appreciate and respect a man who does house chores only once in a dark blue moon than the other who does it all the time.  Stop looking weak in your own house, if you do, it will only be a matter of time before even your kids begin to think "there is nothing daddy can do".

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He's not saying anything new!

If the objective is to get wet, why go all the way to lekki?

someone is clowning!!
it would be interesting to see how his CGP was calculated!

Until someone comes up with a system that limits the powers given to our leaders, we will forever go in circles!

People should not just do whatever they like or think about simply because they re governors/ministers. . .there must be some facts that each decision is made to the benefit of governed!. . . what we' re seeing is simply a government who's out to discredit another government and he's prepared to spend his whole first term in doing so, after which they will come back to the people and tell em "4 years is too short"!

So, i retweaked my code and this seems to return the number of characters quite well, but does anyone no of a way to do this automatically as i type?


Option Explicit
Sub Word_counter()

Dim Wordlength As Integer
Dim WordNow As Integer
Dim x As Integer
On Error Resume Next
ActiveDocument.Tables(1).Rows(1).Cells(1).Select
WordNow = Len(Selection.Text)
Selection.MoveRight Unit:=wdCell
If IsNumeric(WordNow) = True Then
Selection.TypeText Text:=WordNow - 2

End If

End Sub

werepeLeri:
I thought there is a "len" function in VB

Search for Len in Google and see the use. Len(text) will give u the total characters in the variable "text"

Yeah, i included the Len function in my VBA code--- see above.

Mobinga:
What have you done so far? Why don't you use an already made tool? Or Javascript on a webpage?

I am actually very new to VBA programming and could ve done this easily on MS excel. but seeing as this is meant to be in MS word, it 's become a boil on my crotch.


here's wht ve done so far;


Option Explicit
Sub Word_counter()

Dim Wordlength As Integer
Dim WordNow As Integer
Dim x As Integer

ActiveDocument.Tables(1).Rows(1).Cells(1).Select
For x = 1 To ActiveDocument.Tables(1).Rows.Count
Selection.MoveRight Unit:=wdCell
WordNow = Len(Selection.Text)
Selection.TypeText Text:=WordNow
Next x

End Sub


rubbish, i know!

I was wondering if someone could help with a VBA macro in Microsoft Word that counts the number of Characters

I need a character count macro. Here's what I need it to do.

for example;

This line

This text field will change all the time. (X characters)

I need a character count of "This text field will change all the time." in the "X" position after it. So, I would want it to read,

This text field will change all the time. (41 characters)

I would think that this would be easy if you know what you are doing, but I don't. can someone Help?