₦airaland Forum

Some guys even go as far as trashing the other lady, so that they will buy some more time to look more. Honestly, its a childish behaviour and a huge turn off for me.

Do you know what a friend of mine does when he wants to stare? He leans forward and hugs his girlfriend. Now the girl might think the guy does this outta love, but nah, all he wants to do is stare at some other girl.

Honestly, it doesn't have to be this way. And when i talk to him about it, his reply would be "Viv. not all girls are as understanding as you are."

I really don't get why an object of s..exu.al gratification would bother me or why I need his form of reassurance that i'm beautiful or s..e..xy.

Who says others don't find me way s.ex.ier?

El Guapo: [color=#0066ff]I beg to concur, it has got nothing to do with immaturity

Why fix your eyes on another lady's 'unmentionable' right before your partner? Trouble/query looms and there is just one way to avert them, act like there's no other big behind and nice set of twin towers around other than that of the lady u're with [/color]

There is a difference between staring and fixing. We all stare, its a human nature. I stare too, at hot girls, b...o...obs and cute guys. Every body does, old and young.

There is nothing embarrassing about staring or glancing at people unless it crosses a boundary. B..o..obs or not if you fix your eyes on people, it becomes embarrassing. So who doesn't know this?
Fixing your eyes continually on another lady while you are with your lady is quite disrespectful but a quick stare or glance is not. So its really childish to be forming james bond or behaving as if the other lady underdressed or is below you. And it takes a mature mind, be it male or female to know that.
I want a guy who respects me before and behind me, and the only way I can do that is by making him less afraid of him.

That's my opinion tho.

alutacontinua: Lol...dem go dey do lyk as if if anoda babe undresses in front of them, dey wld nt even feel anything, infact, dem go comot face!


Na lie oooooooooooooo.......

Well, there are 2 reasons I know a guy would do that. Its either he is afriad of you or he is just a kid, as in immature.

If he is afraid of you, No 13 on the list would take care of it. If you want to earn his 'being free and open minded' around you, you gonna have to earn it too.

I was walking with a guy someday and we ran into this lady with extremely huge b...o..obs. I saw the lady first and was like 'wow' within me. I knew the guy noticed the b..o..obs so I just observed his reaction. He started laughing, when I asked him why he was laughing he said the girl had too much make-up on her face. I told him i think the girl's b..o..obs are sexy. He said "really? ok, i was actually laughing about the b...o..obs but i didn't know how to tell you when you asked" We both looked at the b..o.obs some more, talked and laughed. If staring at those is good for their eyes, its sure as hell good for mine too.

That's it.

Aluta, which one be "...........james bond.................." abeg explain.

Yea, we girls always learn the hard way. I did!

The best ways to keep a man:
1. Do not, I repeat, do not make him the centre of your universe! Get a life outside him girl! Show him you like him, care about him but you don't need him!

2. Respect yourself and show him how to respect you. Let him know you are the best and for him to be around you, he has to be in his best of behaviour.

3. Always take your stand, but don't be silly at it. Make your decisions and stand by it! If you always agree to all his terms, well..... I reserve my comment.

4. Don't wife him up when he hasn't 'ring' you up. Until he earns your commitment, keep your options very open.

5. Give him something to miss about you. Learn how to take his mind away from s..e.x and your round waist. Show him you have much more to offer than that. Even if it means reading and studying more, watch sports, soccer, etc.

6. Love yourself too much first. Take good care of yourself, pamper yourself. Don't do it for him, do it for yourself!

7. Learn how to be a mystery around him. Shut up about yourself sometimes. Your power lies in your mystery.

8. Be his friend, not his mother! Listen mostly but don't try to solve all his problems. Let him have them, we all do, he is not immune to problems.

9. Re-evaluate yourself, realise your weaknesses and try work on them. Do it for yourself!

10. When he does something nice for you, appreaciate him. He would love to know that he is doing something right! concentrate more on his strengths.

11. Be innovative when it comes to romance. Make the move sometimes! Initiate the romance. It doesn't always have to be in the bedroom................. (figure the rest out).

12. Always be happy, even when life gives you every reason not to. Its a sign of strength and men want women of strength.

13. Don't always be santimoneous around him. Let him know you are partners, even in crime! So he wants to stare at the lady's b.....o...obs? Let him! In fact, talk about the boobs yourself and laugh over it. Cos whether you are aware or not, he will definitely stare at those b...o..obs.


14. Be fun! Really fun!

15. Be yourself!

If he can't stand some/all of these, then he ain't the one for you! Keep waiting!!!

You called your boyfriend "daft?" This is really bad. It shows you don't have an atom of respect for him. I don't know for others o, but any man who opened onu oji eri ji, eri ede and called me "daft" is so getting dumped! So that next time he would learn how to control his tongue, angry or not I cannot be disrespected by a man I call mine.

I wonder what you will call him next time; "Useless?"

If he dumps you, move on, atleast you have learned a valuable lession. But if he doesn't, you have still learned a valuable lession. Pls control your tongue!

Awwwww, I used to be like you. When my relationship with a guy who clearly did not deserve me hit the rocks, I cried my eyes out and my world literally came crashing. All for what? For a SOB who was so not worth it! That was me being s.t.upid and you know sometimes being young is st..upid adjacent. I look back now and i'm like "what the hell did I see in that guy?"

So baby you don't need to waste any more of your life wallowing in self pity. She did you a favour biko, you should be celebrating! The most painful thing in this life is being in love alone. So nah, you don't need to listen to sad songs, enough of that jare. What you need is some wild night baby, mad fun!

Screw her! Her loss! You deserve better!

alutacontinua: Do ugly thoughts come into your head

Just tryna make you see that some things said out of anger are just as a result of the anger. Nothing else! Yes, it's cool to just shut up and not yell but some people ain't that cool and taking their words for it when they're angry might not be a good idea.

No, ugly thoughts don't come to my head. I don't function that way. But you could be right. I always get the "I didn't mean it" apology. I just have a problem dealing with the heart that could produce such ugly thoughts, afterwards.

I will try tho.

Thank you.

alutacontinua: Have you ever been angry and said very bad things before Or better still thought of it?

Nah, I don't yell things when i'm angry. I just let the person know s/he hurts me with his or her actions. Or I just cry.

Honestly, when i'm really angered I don't think of what to say, I think of what to do. My hands move faster than my mouth but since I have grown to know its being violent, I tried to stop it and I stopped.

I have a really tiny voice, that I can't yell with. So when you yell at me and your voice envelops mine, my hands will start moving. But like I said, since I have grown to know its being violent, I stopped it.

Jide, I don't understand it too. If I wronged you I prefer you talk to me about it, I would apologise. You don't have to yell and in the process say hurtful things to me. I'm too sensitive and would keep processing the things you said to me in my head.

I also don't understand how someone would say he loves me today, and that same loving heart would say hurtful things towards me tomorrow.

I don't know, I guess there is a part of me that wished we could take it all back. Or maybe sad that things ended the way they did .............

And my mum thinks I have an intolerable heart, she said its not good for a woman. She says a man would definitely yell at you and say hurtful things to you that you would wish the ground would open up and swallow you, but its never enough reason to end the relationship.

Pls I also need help cos I don't know how to handle this and its ruining my relationships.

I'm not the yelling type and honestly I don't like to be yelled at, especially by a man. So depending on what he said to me while yelling, if they are really hurtful things then that ship has sailed. I might forgive but I find it difficult to reconcile cos i would always wonder how those hurtful things could come out of his heart and what more is in there.

Honestly, this has been my burden. The going will be so rosy but immediately the guy yells at me maybe with hurtful words, the next thing that will come outta my mouth will be "its over between us!" And that's it, it doesn't matter how long we have been together or how sweet he has been.

What if this happens when I get married? The sentence; "Its over between us!" comes out so freely from my mouth. I'm so scared of myself and the things I can do.

I don't know if the problem is from me or not cos we always think we have no flaws. So if there is any role I play in this I would love to start working on myself. But since I can't see it, I pray someone here can. Please help me ..................


Sorry Op for maybe hijacking your thread. Just that I have been struggling with this for sometime now and i'm too shy to create a thread for it. So please forgive me..........

kennygee: I don't think i'd be caught dead having an Office romance. How can you deal with being Hot in the office with your partner so close and you can't do anything. Punishment i tell you.

Drag him to the rest room and get freaky there. thank me later. *winks*

*thinking out loud* I look forward to b......a..nging my hubby in his office's rest room.

.....:.....

Lekan247: vivianc were have u been have been searching all over for u in the master bed room please come give me head am starve.

Search no more, for i'm here. I just need you to go to the bathroom and scrub your kini very well with an iron sponge. After then, mix delto liquid with cameroun pepper and rub the mixture very well on it. We gotta get that kini disinfected so that I don't contract staph or gorrno. When you are done, ring me up.

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COOLDUN: Ezigbo Nwada Igbo ka ibu nne m, ya dikwara gi na nma ruo mgbe ebighiebi, iseeeeee !!!, Nne nwata nwayi ana ekwu okwu ya ebe a abughi anu oriri n'ala ndi yoruba, ga kwa juo ajuju. Nna ya amaghi mgbe ojiri luo onye aka ikpe yoruba, ya mere ajo nwayi ahu jiri kpachie umu ha n'ile.

Kee ihe na achu nwayi a oso n'ala ndi umu di ya? obu maka na obughi ndi ezigbo ya, omara go na ndi obodo di ya amatago na obu osu ndi yoruba, ya mere ojiri choo ka okee umu ha ndi nwayi di n'ala ndi ozo.

The mother of the girl is the main problem here, if the helpless man cannot bring them home for the traditional marriage let him stay back and let the wife marry the girl out, because he lost his children from the day he married the spy who love him.

The pride of every girl is to bring her husband and his kinsmen to her home town, even if her father has no house, it is only a day ceremony. Thank you my dear for standing for the truth. God will make you proud the day you will bring your husband home to your kinsmen, if is during the raining season, sun will shine throughout the ceremony period for you. Your guests will come peacefully and get back to their home peacefully in Jesus name. Amen.

Nwannem, ya dikwara gi na nma o.

Olisa bi n'elu ekwekwana ka anyi muta umu ga akpo ala nna anyi asi, ma obu puo na mba menye anyi ihe ihere, machuo anyi uhu.

Olisa bi n'elu, biko wepuru anyi ajo di na ajo nwunye. Mgbe ha ga abia ilu anyi, ma obu anyi ga aga ilu ha, ka udu mmayi anyi dawaa na uzo.

Iseeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes o, the joy/pride of every nwa ada igbo obula wey suck better br..ea...st belle full na to drag man wherever he is from to your hometown. Even if road no dey motorable, make them carry their palm wine kegs for head use leg dey match am. Ije love atogbuo onwe ya biko

If my umunna na get seat, make everybody sit down for ground. If my papa no get house, abeg make him show me his empty land, i go clear the bush, mount my canopies. Ubochi ahu, m na agba egwu, ukwu esie m ike na ala. I go come even do my shakara join am.

Odiro easy biko, odiro fecha fecha at all.

manny4life: That's people for you na, so no blame them..

My dear its shocking how some people reason, i wonder if they reason with their azzes, instead of their brains. I understand alot of them are kids anyway but..........ah ah, is common sense so scarce now?

Imagine a poster saying that the lady should call her dad bluff, if he doesn't want to attend the trad no biggie. So this begs for this question; if the lady's father doesn't attend the trad, who would they (the husband's people) pay the traditional rites to? Me?

Honestly, common sense is not common at all.

YYP Nne m, aru na eme na this nairaland, I swear!

The man for kukuma come carry me for free na. Ah ah since tradition na babash.......... In fact, as onye obodo oyibo wey I be, he doesn't even need to pay my bride price. Just buy ring carry me go church.

After all we are in the 21st century.

I can't imagine myself having my trad in BY, Phc, Abj, London, or any place other than my father's compound in my hometown. Tufiakwa!!! Chineke ekwena ka ngwere gbaa achii! Ada di ka m? My trad won't even happen in an uncle's compound o, ama nna m echiri echi? Ashi gbagbuo kwa ihe ojoor! What then would be my pride? Or I should tell a man "eh, my umunna are evil, after all they didn't contribute a dime to what i am today so let's forget about those witches and wizard at home and their stupid tradition?" hehehehehe maka na adara m na elu? If they are witches and wizard, i'm one of them, any man that would marry me would have me given to him by these wizards and it wouldn't made me a little proud.

Like I said earlier, the Igbos that do this otherwise were either ostracised by their umunna, or they are osu, etc.

Infact, its even humiliating for a man to stand alone without being backed by his umunna in any traditional thing he does. So any father who can stand this humiliation indeed has something to hide, period.

Ok, let me picture another scenario where you would hire a bus and tell your umunna to enter, they are going to their daughter's traditional marriage in Lagos or Abuja.

Wetin I no go hear for nairaland?

ogugua88: What does where I live have to do with anything? I don't think anything of myself. If having a conflicting view is enough for me to be miss to know and whatever else you wrote in your synopsis, then I now know not to quote you again.

First of all, no hard feelings. Whether you quote me again or not, I choputas not.

Having said that, people would always disagree but in a civil way. Your last 2 posts were quite insulting to say the least. Disagree with me but don't ridicule my intelligence, which you are fond of doing whenever people don't share your view, its bad and you of all people should know better.

We won't be here if not for your first failed attempt to ridicule my post. I said "I think most Igbo guys..................." The word "think" is enough to tell you that's my opinion. Have yours! If you wanna disagree with me, fine, but don't ridicule my intelligence.

No hard feelings, you are still my girl tho.

Ama m nke mga ekwu kita oputa okwu Most igbos wey dey do their trad for mba (outside) no get strong kinsmen relationship, or them no even dey in good terms with their kinsmen.

According to our culture, no be only the parents get the daughter.

So if you father no get umunna, it would be easier for you to do your trad na mba.

@Dailynews: I really have problem reply your posts, cos I don't want us to deviate from the issue at hand. So i'm gonna address few of your points.

1. Ijaws are rich as a state but poor individually. Let me explain. Not that they don't see the money, they do but majority of them don't invest, rather they squander. For instance, other tribes that came to BY when it was newly created made so much money, even most corpers that were posted there were not left out. Do you know why? While the Ijaw guys were squandering, other tribes were there to gather the money and invest. Those days people were picking money even from the bush. I remember my friend that served in one of the civil service offices (I won't mention name) saved more than 30mil within a year.

2. Ijaws started seeing money even before GEJ became president.

Right now even tho money doesn't flow like the way it used to during Alamco time, they are still generous.

And yes, they are not as hardworking as the igbos. Royalty and politics are what give them money but we are not talking about that, so let's not deviate.

Chillisauce: Ijaw men, they will use their last money to buy Porsche , then will burrow money to fuel it.
Be careful of them, dem Sabi owe ppl money die

You know them jare. But you can tame them, that's why I said they are less difficult. Why do you think they like igbo girls die? Cos igbo girls would get hold of them and re-structure their lives.

Their lives are mysterous, they can be a tout who plays only draft today and gbam a commissioner tomorrow. So when the money starts coming in they get carried away. They don't think of investment, just enjoyment. Once you get hold of them, you can restructure them.

My only fear with most ijaw men is their wandering p...e....nises.

nayef: It's like u studied statistics or metrics! What u said is somewhat true but then bear in mind that the higher your sample size, the better your statistical predictions or say confidence. Ogugua also made sense in that she doubts your degree of confidence due to your sample size. However, your case improves a bit because u live in ijaw land. Both of you are right. So I guess its safer to say most times than not ijaws are...

nayef: It's like u studied statistics or metrics! What u said is somewhat true but then bear in mind that the higher your sample size, the better your statistical predictions or say confidence. Ogugua also made sense in that she doubts your degree of confidence due to your sample size. However, your case improves a bit because u live in ijaw land. Both of you are right. So I guess its safer to say most times than not ijaws are...

Yes, you are right. The higher the sample size the better your deductions. And I studied some aspects of statistics and behavioural science. It took me 5 solid years to study these people and i'm still studying them. I'm someone who studies people, due to this I have a way of relating with them. And i also study my relevant environment. If i'm not sure of things or not confident about things, i don't say.

Like I said earlier, i know nothing about Yoruba and Hausa people. Even tho I know a couple of people from there, they don't constitute a reasonable sample size for me.

Is the findings valid and reliable? There is only one way to find out. Carry out the research yourself! Don't worry, i can host you.

Chillisauce: U Berra make change of plans now...if you eventually marry one, invest in treadmill. You will thank me later. And know, no more party for you. Na nollywood channel you go dey watch as life pass you by. Very boring ppl

chei, I don laugh sotey my head hurts. You are very right jare. If i'm to use my business head, Ijaw man all the way. Once i'm married to one, i'd have a shot at their civil service employment. If i can smile my way to the post of an accountant with the connection of my husband? Babe i don hammar be that o. Do you know how many billions come into Bayelsa every month? But then the guy has to have a detachable pe...nis, so that when he goes out, i will detach it and keep with me. If not eh.......na weapon of mass destruction be that o. And they are sharp shooters, the seed dey germinate fast fast. I no fit endure o, i go die of heart attack.

But my heart says Igbo, tho i'm being very careful and picky with them. Once i choose one, i go tie my wrapper very well for waist. where e dey hard most na when you begin play the good wife for them.

Chillisauce: No time for stingy ppl around me abeg. There is love in giving. Dem go use excuse say dem wan try the girl wether she is materialistic. Rubbish I say! Voooooooooommmm, na my tyre screeching be dat

Na this one dey vex me pass

I don't know of other tribes o, but when it comes to generousity, give it up for Ijaw guys. Them go flex you, be you gf or wiefy and i'm not talking about just food o, good things of life jare.

Ijaw men don't guard their money like igbo men. So far the money dey, you go enjoy am and you won't hear any complain o.

Chillisauce: Am telling you, always thinking about investment and containers ...
Na only nkwobi and isi ewu dem Sabi chop.