Please I need your help or view point in this matter. Am I just over reacting at is this a red flag to which I need to run far away from?
My current boo asked me out for like one and half year, it was like it’s either me or no one else. His friends and bosses in his office had to speak to me to consider him as I might be missing a good man and how crazy he is about me.
I finally accepted.
I decided to move in with him after a while just to see what marriage to him would feel like with him. I have stayed a year with him and it’s void of sex and kissing.
When I came he would say they should put on the gen anytime there was no light for me and all, he was sweet.
With time he started complaining that he was buying all the food in the house and I wasn’t contributing as much as he wants.
He eats about 5 times a day while I eat twice or one and half times (fruit, oat and pap) a day because me I am watching my weight.
He would complain the milk he bought had finished and all...and it was with some level of anger or bitterness about buying the food stuff.
Pls note that I consume 25% - 30% of all he eats.
I later started buying my milk to avoid issues since I knew that’s what I consume most (with my oat or pap) which makes one of my meal for the day but he was angry about me buying it separately but I did that because I felt there would be peace that way. I would still buy milk and keep and he can say I am using more than he is using inside the milk
He complained about repairs (light), complained about buying dstv subscription, nepa light payment etc. You just list any house thing he started complained about doing it.
I on my path do contribute the way I spent before I came to stay with him. (I wasn’t a huge spender as I eat very small food) and so my money use to remain which he used to borrow from me when we werent together.
We had a him 60k and me 40k arrangement for food fuel light etc but we never put it together and so each week I did ensure I spend 10k. But apparently he wasn’t seeing it. I would come from market and he would say what is all this, this is worth 5k. It use to hurt so much because I wld show him the list but he would still say this same thing. I have never asked him how much he bought things if he goes to market talk less if say it’s not up to a certain amount.
He said later that he can’t marry a woman who works and won’t contribute for light, food, repair, gen etc....
So even today we contributed for dstv 4700, I paid half and he paid half.
It looks sort of absurd and a no no to me
Yesterday he bought apples 800 naira and I paid half and he paid half....
And so that’s how the current life would be....
I contributed to the rent also but he said no... that he would “dash me” rent. I shouldn’t pay so I won’t come tomorrow and say I contributed to the house rent. I even said ok use the money for food and other things you complain about, but he said he won’t collect it under the umbrella of house rent that never.
I see it upside down for a man to be saying he is paying rent and see it that he is dashing me. When I can pay my rent by myself and he knows fully well. If I was living alone the same way he has been living alone, won’t I do my repair, dstv subscription etc without asking anybody? So why is it a big deal the moment I stepped in? This are things if my friend came to live with me to God who made me I would do/ take responsibility for because the dstv subscription I would have paid for before won’t change with your presence...the only thing that may change is water and food and so if they contributed it would go towards that.
This is dating phase, please what marriage would become of this.
Am I the one at fault?
I need honest reviews so I can know if I am having problem and if I need to work on myself or if I need to run.
My parents marriage wasn’t like this my dad bought food and mum did other investments for the family or so and it was never an issue or was there a specific fight that you, you are not buying enough milk on the house or I can’t see d 10k food u said you just bought...it doesn’t look it etc.
He would also say me I want to be saving my money and all.
Pls what’s d way forward or backward married folks, married men and women, what am I not seeing that you can see?

my sister run away, it is never gonna get better... men that nags a lot can cause more mains than boil on the armpit.

mamagee3:
Hi all, why would an older brother follow his sister to the restroom and be banging on the restroom door saying “ Come out or I will break that door”?

How humiliating

he should stop taking hard drugs.

Op ,just like the real arsenal, you too dey dull...I am not surprised sha, no good action has ever come from Emirate.
Camp nou is the only entertainment ground I know....

Ruben225571:
Would You Be Caught In This Act? I Really Don’t Understand What’s Happening Here

Is he a true king
Is he a simp ;
Give him one word
What’s happening to guys this days?

of the disadvantages of social media... you took pics of someone without their permeation, and still went ahead to post it online.
Pls moderators should be taking note of this hopeless type of posts, and be taking them down ASAP.

lalastica.
lol

I owe only myself an exciting lifestyle.... if anyone thinks I am boring, that person should just go and hug transformer. shikina

but Nigeria has been in shambles even before Nnamdi KANU was born...
The north and sW are always scared of secession because Nigeria is a business for them.

the story is getting a lot boring now... ur advert is longer than each episode.
you go just hibernate for hours only to come back to tell few lines of the story.

luminouz:

Must you quote everything

do you want to call 911 on that?

athenswonders:
Remind me people, what is it they say about you cannot advice to two set of people n life..... A yahoo boy wey new pick and a guy that is in love.... The latter was my case people. I've sealed my mind that I was gonna date only peggie and anybody who suggest otherwise will outrightly become my enemy.

Prior to matriculation day, peggie don call me for phone, cried and told me not to let go of her as I don become student cos she has devoted her life and soul in loving me already. I still remember those words.... "i have devoted my soul and life in loving you, i can't step back anymore.... promise me his won't come to an end now that you are a student". Baba, me sef being a simp, moved by those words started crying too oo... Told her I will never let her go, that she is my soul and her heart pants in me.... we come later conclude with that ye ye song by Michael Jackson "you are not alone" and it was so emotional. I had told her I wanted her to come for my matriculation, promised to send her money if she said she's coming. she said I needed not to send money but this her supposed family uncle no go let her comot, but she will try sneak and come because of the love she had for me....

okay nah!! Las las she didn't show up on the matriculation date, but she video called me on that day and it was fun even tho i wanted her present.

While I was in school in the first year , my mind don strong i no dey reason babes at all. I even bought my sef a ring to let the ladies know I'm engaged (i was a real simp sha) pvssies were coming my way and I kept looking the other way.

My calls with peggie started becoming dim, i still call her frequently every day to update on what happens but she doesn't take my calls as often and flashes me to call her back. It was weird of her but i just ignored it off....


During my first year in school, because of how social i was, i had lot of gees and acquaintances and notable among them was a dude called TORITSEJU.... If TORITSEJU was on nairaland he will probably be reading this now. Yes! he is part of my story, very important role he played in this story.

Forgive me Again, Who is TORITSEJU?

He was a notable player in my school and beyond, TORITSEJU can point at any girl at random and give himself 7 days to bang that girl with evidence. He was that good. He doesn't go for low live girls.... he goes for the hottest, even female lecturers.. I've never met a guy as good as him before. He was a god.....

These while, I've been trying to make peggie come over to visit me in my school, she declines because of her repeated excuse..... my family will disown me if I come and remember I'm an orphan. I will then suggest, okay, lemme come over then..... she declines still and say, she will surprise me one of these days..... I was worried, we have known for like 1 year plus at that time but she was reluctant to see me, how weird is this. and when I am about to be angry with her for this.... she presses my mumu button by singing "you are not alone by Michael jackson" then I will join sing with her and then calm down.

Now the great TORITSEJU noticed I had a ring on my finger and asked me if I was engaged... I explained to him I wasn't technically but I have been courting this babe.... he laughed and told me, why haven't we seen her... I told him she is scared to come probably because of the strong tiers and Ill treatment she could get from her family since she's an orphan. He then laughed and said "Is that so, for how long"

Then he proposed a bet to me that he could make her come to Oghara and see him as as a stranger within 5 days.... I refuted and said that's not true, He said when you ready just give me her username on Facebook, that's all.... not even number.

This was gonna be a bet with the greatest TORITSEJU.... I knew his records but I was surer about the love i had with peggie

okay na

hakeem4:

anyone can claim anything

what is this one saying?... u think terrorist are aros or ayes.
Terrorist don't make false claim.....

abasi mbok!,,...

PERVENCHE:
*NOTE
With all due respect, I have changed names and some too familiar details about myself out of respect for my wife to be. I know she likes to catch cruise on nairaland.

My name is Friday (of course not my real name) I am from the middle-belt. So please save your tribalism with all those una Igbo, Yoruba and Hausa insults. I met Grace(my wife to be) few years ago. It was love at 1st sight. She was everything and is still everything I had hoped a woman should be. There is this crass about her that makes her effortlessly better than any lady around her. My type in the true sense of the word. Tall, busty, curvy, sassy, elegant, personable and above all, she has a graceful soul. From the 1st date to this day, I still pinch my self like.. What in God's green earth is a beauty like her doing with a shrek like me.

But then, true perfection is always a utopia. Grace in all her graceful demeanour and aura, has a flaw; Indecision! More so, blind trust seems to be her albatross. (I swear she can even take Lai Muhammad's word to the bank) Though, I still love her; flaws and all. Her complete or should I say blind trust for me and Abigail became one of the reasons Abigail(her younger sister) has become an unending chapter in our relationship. Even though the blame of what happened squarely falls on me.

Abigail just shy off 20, is too savvy for her age. Not the outright outstanding beauty like my Grace. What ever little she lacks in beauty, she more than makes up for it in her mentality. For she is truly a smart and an intelligent girl. Just five years younger than Grace. One who expect them at least to be close and be like Asaba and Onisha but then...they are the direct opposite of each other. While Grace is the introverted shy person, Abigail is quite the extrovert and likes to make friends for Africa. It is only fair to believe their formative time in secondary school played a part in their output towards life. Grace likes to conform like most day school students. Abigail on the other hand, is the boarding school nightmare all parents hope not to experience: the deviant.

Through the 1st years we dated, Abigail was in secondary school and was never in the picture. For some odd or strange reason, Grace was not ready to fully commit. Not that I blame her or something. At 23, Most girls her age are like Alice in wonderland; they crush on celebrities and Chase childhood dreams and fantasies. The vile ones, if truth be told...tend to live out their hoė phase. At 28, I was already grounded to know what I wanted and it was Grace and marriage. Sometimes, you do all you can do but then life has a way of throwing in a curveball. More over, "No be say because I wan chop egg I go begin dey worship chicken." Sensing her shakara, I pulled the hand brakes on us and walked out of the relationship.

***2 years later***
Fortunately or unfortunately after letting go, Grace became incensed and started to want me back. I hardly do any social media at this point. Pride won't let her call me, so there was no way to send coded messages on whatsapp status to me. Being the introvert that she is and the all trusting graceful Grace, she started to send Abigil over to my place to bridge the gap. In just over two years, Abigail had changed and developed into a sexy hippie bohemian. Not that I fancy her in any erotic way or something. It's just that in our contemporary naija society where mostly everyone conforms, it is hard not to notice a bohemian.

Knowing I would do no better than Grace even with a million dollars and in a hundred years of searching, I mended fences with Grace and our relationship became stronger than ever. Over time, Abigail became a bridge between us. At first, Grace would send her over to run errands for her. After a while, it became a second nature for her to come over and fidget with my electronics. Courtesy demands you be nice to your in-laws to be and so I was nice to Abigail.

Abigail's posturing over time made it difficult for me to say no to her especially during them Nengi and Laycon days in the house. She was a fan of big brother lockdown. And would always ask for my keys to watch the silly show for she was equally as silly to be gushing over that vanity fair. Grace seems not have any issues with her coming over and I also did not for I was hardly home and God knows the sub was kinda wasting away.

There are some things in life that are not planned. They just happen! My boss at work then tested positive for Covid and we were all asked to quarantine at home. Grace still had to go to work while Abigail was always free because of the ASSU strike. Suddenly, I started to be alone with Abigail. She would come over "for big brother" around 9am and leave around 7pm in time to beat her curfew at home. It was awkward staying all day with Abigail. Grace too predictable, only comes over on Sunday. For some strange reasons, on Sundays, Abigail will never show up.

There were times, and I am sure it could just be my imagination, that she enjoyed teasing me. She would come dressed like a sister Mary Amaka from home but after a while, she would take her bath and transform into a Kardashian. Wearing skimpy cloths and heavy make-up. I tried to give her her space. I was in quarantine and therefore, had practically no where to go. I am basically the type that don't flock with co-workers and I hardly keep any friends except for Grace. I am not one to be neighbourly with my neighbours so I was stuck with Abigail all day. Humans are social animals and we tend to gravitate towards each other especially when we are alone with someone. Gradually, she won me over and I started to watch the big brother show with her. While she was rooting for Nengi after her Erica left, I was simply for Neo for he had my height. And the bond between us grew. God knows I had no vile motives and evil intentions. It is hard not to enjoy Abigail's company for she is a smart, gleeful and witty girl. While I do all the talking with Grace, Abigail on the other hand does all the talking with me and it was a welcome change.

*** D Day ***
It became obvious Abigail was not telling the truth at home. She would pick their calls and tell them she was in her female friend's house. And in the spirit of our new found big brother bond. We kept the secret. On this faithful day, it had rained all day and Nepa had struck and the plug in my generator was no good. The rain had brought with it a cool breeze and some magical thunder. Seemingly, we could not watch our show so I took a blanket because of the cold and buried my attention on my PC (laptop) re-watching season 5 of the game of thrones.

Naively, Abigail joined me and entered the blanket with me. I use the word 'naive' because I honestly do not want to qualify her as a minx. And I know she does not see me as a Justine Bieber of a crystal ball for her to be drooling at. While in that warm blanket watching the movies in such compromising position, One thing led to another and alot of that one thing opened up her Pandora's box and I... I ate the most forbidden fruit there ever was. There is no telling how wonderful making love to her was at the heat of the moment and there's no shame in the world that equates to the shame that immediately dwell and still dwells in my soul shortly after even to this day. There's a lot to blame our mistake and betrayal on. Could it just be the moment? the weather? the chemistry? the devil? (laughs) my opportunistic habit? Her feminine warmth in such close proximity? my placing a hand on her thigh and meeting no resistance? My foggy mind and grown erection? Her racing and panting heart? Her feisty zeal and deviant nature? My libido? Hers? My morals? Buhari? Herdsmen? IPOB? Sunday Igbahor? Dstv and big brother? NEPA? Game of thrones? Was she after all really a minx? In all fairness, she is just a little naive girl that does not deserve to be pilloried for my betrayal. As the adult, I should have known better and acted a lot better.

Climbing down from our lustful climax, we both knew immediately what we had done, the gravity and the implications it could have on not just us, but grace and the whole family. In the most contrite way possible, we apologized to ourselves and vowed never to repeat it again. We felt it would be better not to tell Grace or anyone and we agreed Abigail would stop coming over. I started to avoid Abigail at all cost. I did not just release cum after my despicable act with Abigail, I released every thing good in me and every form of happiness. I felt much less of a man and wished I had died as a child or better still was aborted.

I hardly could face Grace after. The more I try to ghost her, the more she held on tightly. It became awkward visiting their family house for I was not comfortable around them trusting and accepting me. Not for the fear that they would find out...just my conscience eating me up. I stayed away and made peace with my gross mistake. For over six to seven months. I did my penance and nothing happened with Abigail. I know I am in a better place now to make sane decisions about cheating. To give something back to Grace, I have vowed never to sleep with anyone till die. We know how cheating amongst married men is common these days. I no call Adekule Gold name oh!

Me and Grace are set to marry on the 17th of this April. The thing is...Abigail is her chief bridesmaid and preparation demands I see her most times. She still has a look in her eyes...dunno what to make of it. A look of blackmail? Of you could still hit it if you want? We have unfinished business kinda look? You should be paying a bride price for two look? I die inside every time I see Grace happy she again got us back to talking terms because of the wedding. Ignorance is truly bliss.

I have doubts going through with this wedding. Folks may laugh and say I chickened out because of the inflation and money, others might blame Grace. It may ruin Grace for ever. How do I do this knowing Abigail will always be family?

She trusted you enough to the point that she feels her kidney could be save in ur hands...but u betrayed her trust.

It is good to have a conscious conscience , because that is the only way we can know when we are wrong ,your conscience is very potent and alive hence it is normal to be hunted by guilt.

Na just fornicate u fornicate, you no kill person.... now you have only one thing to do, don't ever break her trust again ...

Carry on with the marriage.... don't be a weak man.

PrimadonnaO:


Overassumption. So you know she's dating all of them because of how their contacts are saved?

How can you even prove that they're all guys?

Gen Zs that save their mother's name with "LOML" "My heart" "My girlfriend."

You probably don't relate with teenagers so you don't know how they think and behave these days.

An over assumption is an assumption, and their is nothing over about it.

Their profile pix makes my assumption to be very correct....

Ayo2004:
My brother,trusting a woman completely would lead to hypertension!
Take care of your babe,treat her well but at the back of your mind,never trust her completely so when she bleeps up,u don expect am!
Never choose your woman over your friends and family,if she has issues with all of them,then she is really trouble

Man wey no get sense go suffer 4 woman hand

one important point you have raised is when you said family and friends come first.

mehn I unconsciously stared in a girls whatsApp chat and was fascinated with my discovery.

This pretty teenage chap was actively chatting with random friends (male)...I was not reading her chat though and it was intentional... was only interested with what she saved their names with.

Names like:
Mine
Friend1 with a red heart symbol,
Friend 2 with double red heart.
Bestie1
Bestie2
Angel.

I got to understand why guys are easily replaced in a girls heart.

Martinelli35:
I will make this as brief as possible. I left Nigeria to the UK around may last year and I have fully settled in the country and was looking for someone to settle down with, I didn’t want a foreign girl, so I looked for Nigerians only, the ones I kept meeting here were either engaged with someone back in Nigeria, had serious relationships with someone else or married. So I decided to look back home. A friend of mine introduced me to a beautiful lady who lived and worked in Abuja, she appeared to be doing well for self and was courteous as well. So we started speaking and everything clicked, she wasn’t boring at all and could keep a convo going for hours. We started dating and things were going fine until I noticed something which appears to be a red flag, but I keep doubting if am been too hasty in reaching a conclusion. Just a week after we started dating, she started complaining that she was really broke, that she was kind struggling. In my mind I felt it was too soon for this to come up but I nevertheless sent her 60k to help out. Less than two weeks later, she sent me a letter from her work place that stated that her salary would be delayed for that month . She started complaining of how she was in dire straits and wouldn’t be able to survive till then. I sha played along and told her that where I worked they even delayed my own by a whole month. I can take care of a lady I like no problems, but this incessant asking, is it not too soon in this relationship? This is someone am already thinking of settling down with. If with a six figure salary she can’t manage herself, is this not a bad sign?

She is about to miss out on a life changing opportunity's....it is a deep-red flag.
probably you should give her time, but if the billing continues, my brother run away.
By then she must have changed ur name to Bestie Maga.

KingAzubuike:
In Nigeria, prostitution is a far better option than being jobless or being a house wife. Prostitutes are really trying, they collect all sizes of dick everyday yet get compensated with peanuts. Without them there would have been severe cases of rape and child molestation in Nigeria. They really deserve more than this and shouldn't be given societal stigmatization.

... they devalued themselves like Naira, they shouldn't be complaining.
You can't compare Ferrari to danfo...

Secondly, you can't say because cyber crime has reduced youth involvement in robbery despite the high unemployment index, so therefore yahoo boys should be given high regard...

KingAzubuike:
In Nigeria, prostitution is a far better option than being jobless or being a house wife. Prostitutes are really trying, they collect all sizes of dick everyday yet get compensated with peanuts. Without them there would have been severe cases of rape and child molestation in Nigeria. They really deserve more than this and shouldn't be given societal stigmatization.

... nawao.
..compensation as in for what

rip to the dead..
Our security operatives will he risking their lives at the expense of all these politicians with enough otumokpor.

SmartyPants:


He already stated Musa would not play. He was there as the captain and for reasons of team unity.

In times past, these were issues that used to cause turmoil. But the Superior Eagles have been calm for a while.

BTW wasn't it the same Rohr who took Onuachu to the Afcon and started him over the likes of Onyekuru and Osimhen?

The fact is, while he has always been great for club, this is the first time he is performing for country.

I like people that thinks and read facts before making assertions.... nice point from u brother.

bigpicture001:
I very much attended her trade, wedding and her dad burial..I mean the ex before my current ex....

I no do again no b war...yes, e dey pain.but I cut dem off till am healed and moved on,then we can be OK...

Sh serve me very specially self for all the events and I bought her very big gifts!

are u in the business of exes?

Lovethaa:
With house rent and stuffs on her neck plus she recently Misplaced her phone , She was formerly using an Iphone 11 but due to the bills on her neck she decided to go for Techno.

I pitied her and made up my mind to surprise her with a million Naira so she can buy back her iphone and also pay her rent.

she's not my girlfriend tho.. just a friend

I love surprises too, please extend ur kind gesture towards me . I only need your spare PC .gracias

i have rejected a job ones...
it was a position of a direct sales agent for a bank , and was told to resume the following Monday at markurdi....
I rejected the offer because I was already working in the said bank, and in a level higher than what I was being offered.... it could be a system error though.....

Mustiboy:


Bullshīt.

Honestly, where did you people come from?

have you seen one before! 'a bullshit'... never doubt a Revelation... so stop judging from your myopic understanding about life.

Lovethaa:
Nothing wrong in what she wore.. probably her house is nearby and stuffs . I like women that dress like this too... not those ones that tie wrapper up and down

see person

squash47:
Hey guys, I recently updated my laptop from windows 7 to windows 10.

Now, I can't find the Bluetooth drive on the device manager.

Does anyone know how I can fix this ?.

it was not installed properly... reinstall again.

$

Babymuchendu:


he no give me face

hmmmm....