₦airaland Forum

vincentjk:
You wouldn't because most Nigerian young girls are low budget runs girls so you assume they're all same, even the so called girlfriends aren't excluded so you're already generalizing

Her reason of building the house is for the three of them to have a place to call their own house and to spend Christmas holidays since their father left just a family land for them but couldn't build a house before his death

She's an igbo girl and just 25 years of age, her mother died in the year 2014 while her father died of depression and hypertension in 2016 when she gained admission newly according to what she told me. She's a good friend of mine

Curiouscity:
@We4all,

I read the thread you are referring to, and I gave my advice and moved, so did many other Nairalanders. How come yours kept you up at night?

I can say it with 75% confidence that if you're above 25 years, there is a 80% chance that you sucked breast in the public or where someone not related to your mother saw her feeding you. How many churches, mosques, offices or public places have dedicated spaces for mothers to breastfeed in Nigeria? When we see oyigbo doing things, look at the foundation.

Regarding your rant about married couples feeling entitled about sex, while I don't support sex in the public or disturbing others with sexual escapades, marriage is for sex. Legally, religiously and culturally, any marriage where there is no sex between the couples after 48hrs is regarded as null and void. Why so, if sex was for procreation alone? Dating, alias boyfriend-girlfriend is supposed to be for learning each other, and finding reasons to marry or otherwise. Comparing sexual life of marriage couples to that of dating couples is comparing apples to oranges.

What the guy did was improper, but not a crime. And it didn't translate to making married people entitled!

Mizwisdom:
OP, you might not know about the high rate of abortions among married people. This also stems from their daily sex lives which leads to unwanted pregnancies. Many simply flush it away without much thought

rationalmind:
Well said. That guy is not only arrogant but extremely ignorant.

Besides, what's his business with someone who decides to expose her breast while breast feeding? It's her body, her breast and her child. How she decides to feed the child is her business.

rain21:
u are talking ignorantly,babies prefer sulking directly public or not. can babies differentiate between public or private place? there are babies that don't accept bottles no matter what you do to pacify them. most esp babies that are glued to their mums 24/7 cos their mums are stay at home mums or takes them wherever they go to. the babies are used to it already and some don't get to wean off early till they are above 18 months and more.

babies that lost their mums at child bir
th don't even get to know what breast milk taste like,they get to adapt to whatever you give them at that stage. it's different from a baby that has been on breast milk from day one and it's probably exclusively breast feeding.


also know that babies sulking doesn't necessarily equate to them being hungry.they also sulk for comfort, pleasure and when they need to sleep,so bottle feeding at that point would lead to a more crying restless baby

iamballo:
Hello fellow nairalanders, I'm a regular here even a lot of u guys kws my story here long b4 I got married in 2017. The issue now is that my marriage is on d line bcus of my wife cunning act lately, there is dis man I hv been suspecting that my wife is having affair with but b4 now I don't hv any tangible evidence abt dem dating or whatever & anytime I raised d issue she always talk her way out of it which I always believe.
Two days ago I borrowed my wife phone to send some msgs to my clients & few msgs was sent back to me thru her phone so as I was going Tru d inbox to check d msgs d tin I saw almost makes me fainted. A conversation between her & d man. I hv attached a screenshot of their conversation below.
please what's d best way for me to handle this situation because I'm down & devastated at d moment.
please I will really appreciate if this can get to the front page for wider views.

sonsolo:
Good morning landers.. I would go straight to the point and don't mind any typos..

I've been going out with my girlfriend for like 8months now and everything have been great all along. Then suddenly, I jokingly asked her if she has seen her period which she told me "NO".. She said she's supposed to see it last week and she's surprised nothing came. She's been sleeping carelessly these days and always complain of being tired..

We would be going to the hospital today for a check up but I still have my fears.. I had jokingly suggested we remove the pregnancy if its positive but she came up with her village culture thing that when you abort a pregnancy out of wedlock, that the father will die and any other person in her household and I was like " that's a superstition and doesn't hold any ground in 21st century" but she wouldn't listen..

I will be rounding up nysc by Feb/march while she's a 200L student in unical.. We are not ready for this baby and the news will shatter the both families, our church and friends around and notwithstanding, the news will definitely block my way as I already have my uncle working out a place for me to work in an offshore company immediately I finish my nysc...

Those from the ibo part of Nigeria, how true is this culture?? and what do you suggest we do at this point??. Though I'm praying it shouldn't be what we are thinking

ambassadorgozie:
6th of January 2020 is the day I won’t forget. I work as personal assistant/ secretary to my boss who happens to be a former politician. My boss came to work with her housemaid for her to help in sweeping, cleaning and tidying up the office being the resumption day. She instructed us on how to go about it before she stepped out from the office promising to come back in the afternoon. We started the work immediately until afternoon time when I decided to rest and eat. While eating I beckoned the grown up housemaid to come and eat or at least rest before she continue the cleaning but she declined. After like an hour, I told her to rest small, she declined yet again. This prompted me to go close to her in order to convince her to eat something or rest. My worst mistake and nightmare was attempting to put my hand on her shoulder in my stupid bid to convince her. Immediately my hand touched her shoulder she started shouting continuously that I want to rape her, that she will deal with me; in fact that I will get sacked. At first I told her my intention, but she wouldn’t hear me, I then resorted to pleading, I even knelt down begging her that it wasn’t my intention to rape or grab her. She couldn’t stand my talks and pleading, she called the boss immediately telling her that I want to rape her. We narrated everything to the boss, (a lawyer), when she returned. After hearing from us she said she has stayed with her maid for couple of years, thus she trust her, and it may be true that I wanted to rape her or lure her for sex. She couldn’t see my explanation, pleadings and even crying. She said she has two options; either to call police for me or to sack me. That’s how she later sacked me that day.
I have been devastated and depressed since that day, not because of the sack but the allegation and accusation that was not even on my mind. The worst is that as an introvert I have no one to talk to, I am damn down.
Notes: 1. I have no intention of raping, grabbing or having sex with her
2. I will not be so stupid to rape or have sex with the housemaid in the office knowing that the boss will come at any time
3. I have not raped anyone or plan to do so in the future because I know is morally and legally wrong.

@lalasticlala

usmandra11:
A 46-year-old American woman, Jeanine Delsky, has arrived at Panshekara, a A 46 year-old American woman, Jeanine Delsky, has arrived at Panshekara, a suburb of Kano, to marry her 23-year-old online boyfriend Sulaiman Babayero Isa. Ms Delsky, who lives in California, USA, landed at Mallam Aminu Ka International Airport, Kano on Saturday and went straight to Panshekara to meet the parents of her lover. The two lovers met on Instagram one year ago, exchanged pictures and started online courtship. In an interview with our reporter, Ms Delsky said she decided to follow her boyfriend to Kano because of her love for him. She said many people had courted her online but she found Mr Isa as the most loving and sincere. The mother of two said they both
agreed to get married and fly to the US where they intend to settle. Holding the hands of her beau and smiling, Ms Delsky said she realised her dream by meeting the love of her life. Mr Isa, who has just finished. secondary school, said that he is
ready to follow his girlfriend to America to settle and build a family. He said he was not bothered about the age gap, adding that “it’s even the Sunna of the Holy Prophet Muhammad, Peace be Upon Him, to marry a woman who is far older
than you”. He expressed optimism that Ms
Delsky would one day accept Islam and become a Muslim. Ms Delsky met Mr Isa’s mother, Fatima Suleman, to seek consent
Mr Isa’s mother, Fatima Suleman, said she had no objection to her son’s relationship with American girlfriend, noting that she would pray for them to have a happy married life in America. The wedding is expected to hold in March.suburb of Kano, to marry her 23-year-old online boyfriend Sulaiman Babayero Isa.Ms Delsky, who lives in California, USA, landed at Mallam Aminu Kano International Airport, Kano on
Saturday and went straight to Panshekara to meet the parents of her lover. The two lovers met on Instagram one year ago, exchanged pictures and started online courtship. In an interview with our reporter, Ms Delsky said she decided to follow
her boyfriend to Kano because of
her love for him. She said many people had courted her online but she found Mr Isa as the most loving and sincere.
The mother of two said they both
agreed to get married and fly to the
US where they intend to settle. Holding the hands of her beau and smiling, Ms Delsky said she realised her dream by meeting the love of her life.Mr Isa, who has just finished secondary school, said that he is
ready to follow his girlfriend to America to settle and build a family. He said he was not bothered about the age gap, adding that “it’s even The Sunna of the Holy ProphetMuhammad, Peace be Upon Him, tomarry a woman who is far older
than you”. He expressed optimism that Ms
Delsky would one day accept Islam and become a Muslim.Ms Delsky met Mr Isa’s mother,Fatima Suleman, to seek consent
Mr Isa’s mother, Fatima Suleman,said she had no objection to her son’s relationship with American girlfriend, noting that she would pray for them to have a happy married life in America. The wedding is expected to hold in March.

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rain21:
don't mind that one biko ,as if she had not seen babies that rejects bottle in fact most babies prefer sulking directly to bottle. those teats can never be same with nipples.

the situation doesn't apply to only married women but mothers in general...

eyinjuege:
You talk of refrigeration in Nigeria. It's not for the faint hearted o. We all know the state of UP NEPA in Nigeria. Most families that use generator steady do so for a few hours at night to sleep and they always turn off the heavy electrical goods like freezer/fridge/AC before the gens can even work sef . During the daytime, it's to your tent o Isreal. (So I can't advice mothers to refrigerate breast milk just like that).
How many hours a day do you put on your generator? Please answer truthfully.
Manual breast pumps are not as effective as electric ones. Infact, it can be more painful at times and they are also not affordable for everybody either. Or you mean using hand to pump the breast into cups?
Expressing milk( via pumps or by hand ) is not a prerequisite for raising a child (as a vacuum cleaner is not either for maintaining a clean home), so that should have nothing to do with planning your reproductive life.
Will you be happier if breastfeeding mothers are covered up while feeding their babies? I see a lot of mothers all covered up these days while breastfeeding, and not a single boob is exposed. You won't even see the baby's face/body sef talkmore of boobs. Or does that still gall you?

ireneidiva:
I will call my most cherished act rubbish?

eyinjuege:
Majority of married folks don't feel they have more rights to have sex in public especially where their in-laws are. The guy in question is just one of those who are unreasonable.
Infact, single people (perhaps because they are younger) act worse. In my uni days, I knew of such cases. All the stupid things that can be done as per sex is mainly by unmarried young folks. Youth in this case also plays a major factor (it becomes a confounder in your analysis)
Is it sex in a public pool, is it sex in the hospital, is it sex in dark corners around the universities, just name it. Infact, many married folks are careful about their sex life because they don't even want to be caught by their children despite the fact that you think they feel entitled. They can't moan too loudly, they can't be spontaneous around the house , talkmore in public.

eyinjuege:
You do know milk has to be kept refrigerated, otherwise it will get sour. While some mothers have the financial wherewithal to get a breast pump, have refrigerated milk (stored in special packs) with insulated coolers/packs and ice packs that can keep the milk cold or even warm in some cases, Not everyone can afford to do that.
Especially when travelling on a journey, it makes no sense to carry expressed milk that won't be refrigerated.
The child that refused cerelac must have been eating it at home before the mother will have the courage to travel with cerelac for child. Unfortunately, baby says " not today mother"

Breast milk is still the best for all children. However, bottle feeding (either with breast milk or formula) has always being discouraged since time immemorial in Nigeria even by health professionals because of the difficulty encountered with sterilising these bottles.
Not everyone will have access to potable water, not everyone will have access to proper sterilising materials for the bottles. Don't forget majority still live below the poverty level in Nigeria.
Mothers, pls continue to breastfeed your babies,so 5hey can grow healthy. There are aprons to cover yourselves discretely, so get one or sew some. Anyone not happy with it should go hug transformer.
I'm talking to mothers (whether single or married- as OP seems to think only married women are mothers) with children that still need the nourishment from boobs.

eyinjuege:
I read the same thread and it didnt come off as entitlement but rather as stupidity.
Infact, more unmarried folks have sex in public than the married ones.
Anyway, drink a bottle of cold Orijin . It will calm you down. Married people around you have obviously done you a strong thing

sisisioge:
Haaa! Oga, you started well and went of the rails with the speed of light. May God enrich our minds.

ireneidiva:
1 and 4 are true. The rest are rubbish.

Nnefada:
My dear op, U see that your number one, there's nothing anyone can do about it. When duty calls, you just have to obey diligently and on time. I was once in a bus traveling from east to Lagos with my elder sister and her baby, about an hour into the journey, my niece started crying. The mum prepared cereal but the baby refused to eat but continued to cry. A guy sitting beside us got irritated and began to yell at my sister to throw that 'rubbish' (the cereal) away and breastfeed the poor baby. She had to shamefully put away the food and breastfeed her baby and at last there was peace again.

What I'm saying is that sometimes these women are left with no choice than to breastfeed (publicly). Though the breast could be covered with a piece of cloth.

On married folks having 'pleasurable' sex. Oga I beg, don't use your own hand to condemn your self. Thank you

ATTemi:
Go back 2 bed. It is too early!

Livescores:
Garbage

zed7:
Go and get married jor and leave grammar or let married people be.

Vyolet:
Nawa o, so sex in marriage is now for procreation and not for pleasure.
This OP's beef for married people is something else.

LewsTherin:
With all the rubbish posted on Nairaland I have honestly never seen a thread dripping with so much bile and bitterness as this.

But then, this is Nairaland and you're probably just trying to be controversial so well done mate, well done.

irunoko:
Some people like the clown above will not like this your post op

Some even have sex in the presence of their little kids/ in the same Room with them so who is their sister-in-law that they cannot have sex in their presence?

I hope you have worn a mask because they're coming for your head

Sanchez01:
A Nairalander sought to know if making out with his sister-in-law on the bed was bad. The deed had been done and I'm sure he asked because his restrictions prolly does not cover that area.

And then you, a supposed human with a meaningful job decides to rant over what has happened and dish out an epistle nearly 12 AM on some other person's case! And then there is the issue of authenticity of the story in itself but you thought married people are entitled?

Let's all pray for meaningful jobs that will make us focus on our lives and not brood over people's cases all day long and rant about them when half of Nigeria has slept. It is way too early in the year.

NoToPile:
Link to the initial thread please.

irunoko:
Some people like the clown above will not like this your post op

Some even have sex in the presence of their little kids/ in the same Room with them so who is their sister-in-law that they cannot have sex in their presence?

I hope you have worn a mask because they're coming for your head

Parablesonmarble:
Op, please, are you preaching or correcting or motivating or what exactly are you trying to do? All I see up there is hasty generalization! What works for you is good for you and you are not answerable to anyone for it as long as you are breaking no law or causing any inconvenience to anyone! So, to you now, if a married couple have sex for recreation and not for procreation in the recess of their abode, they have broken the law and are trying to cause you sleepless night? I'm confused.