₦airaland Forum

Dwnload My 2nd BE$T DJ MIXTAPE EVER IN HI$TORY FOR JAN. 2013: SeleBOBO ft J-Martins-YOYO Rmx[DJ WISDYTECH VERSION]
All for FREE @
http://www.skenpomobile.net/site_168.xhtml?get-file=4484

HOW TO CHANGE UR TWITTER AVATER[Pic] VIA UR MOBILE PHONE: Many people (incuding me) hated the fact that TWITTER doesn't allow you to upload your profile picture using a mobile phone. Well Good news to some of you here. Guess what? The problem is solved!! All you need to do is visit- http://www.citcuit.in and sign in with your TWITTER USERNAME & PASSWORD then scroll down and click "edit profile" Enjoy!!
>>Follow me on twitter: @ http://www.twitter.com/djwisdytech

FIVE GOLDEN RULES For F***ing:
1. F***ing once a week is good
for your health, but its harmful if
done every day.
2. F***ing gives proper relaxation
for your mind & body. ...
3. F***ing refreshes you.
4. After F***ing dont eat too
much; go for more liquids.
5. F***ing can even reduce your
cholestrol level.
SO, REMEMBER ..
FASTING is good for your health.
May God cleanse your Dirty
Mind!!! lol

Download Olamide First Of ALL [DJ WISDYTECH VERSION], Free @
http://m.sharemobile.ro/file/710965

DOWNLOAD MY FREE Mixtape HERE:
>> Download Olamide First Of ALL [DJ WISDYTECH VERSION], Free @
http://m.sharemobile.ro/file/710965

Short tiny gals love sex, unlike tall
gals.Many short tiny gals tend to
lose their virginity much earlier
than tall gals.
Fat gals are the perfect gals to
love. When a fat gal loves u, u
lucky. But thin/slim gals are
in m0st cases players and not gud
at loving.
Most brown gals are hooked than
dark gals.
Ugly dudes usually get laid m0re
than cute dudes. -Plus m0st
dudes, that are not
gud looking end up dating the
cutest gals.
A lot of gals d0n't appreciate gud
boys. Be a gud guy, m0st chicks
will shun u. Be a bad guy,
hurt gals, break their hearts, and
they will love u.
Confusing i know.
Majority of chiqs nowadays dress
to draw attention,
NOT to lo0k gud.

Short tiny gals love sex, unlike tall
gals.Many short tiny gals tend to
lose their virginity much earlier
than tall gals.
Fat gals are the perfect gals to
love. When a fat gal loves u, u
lucky. But thin/slim gals are
in m0st cases players and not gud
at loving.
Most brown gals are hooked than
dark gals.
Ugly dudes usually get laid m0re
than cute dudes. -Plus m0st
dudes, that are not
gud looking end up dating the
cutest gals.
A lot of gals d0n't appreciate gud
boys. Be a gud guy, m0st chicks
will shun u. Be a bad guy,
hurt gals, break their hearts, and
they will love u.
Confusing i know.
Majority of chiqs nowadays dress
to draw attention,
NOT to lo0k gud.

After suffering all manner of dirty
writings in the hand of students,
a block of classrooms has just
been repainted & it's now
glittering like gold.
A student in the school, 'Akpos'
got there & wrote on the wall:
"God bless our principal for doing
this good job, please no one
should write on this wall!"
Ochuko got there & wrote:
"You're the first to write on this
wall Akpos, I know your writing
very well... Don't even try to come
back here again, ok!"
Bola wrote: "silly idiots, can't you
both see that you're already
messing up this wall? Nonsense!"
Chuks also wrote: "Haba!, this is
unfair & you guys all know the
school must have spent a lot of
money to get this place painted
this way. Why? Why?? Why "
ABOKI wrote: "Kai, Wallahi God i
go funish all of una for writing
yama yama on this wall like this..."
John, their class teacher, got there
& wrote: "I know you all... Starting
from you, Akpos down to Aboki
who wrote last on this wall, go to
your classroom & REPORT on your
knees immediately!"
Sule, their Principal, got there &
wrote: "Mr John, please report
immediately to my office with all
your students..."
Among these Crazy People, Who is
More Stupid
Teacher?? Principal?? Students??

>> TOP 8[EIGHT] LIES TOLD BY GIRLS OF NOWADAYS:
1. I have a boyfriend but he is not in the country.
2. The lecturer called me but i did'nt answer
3. Am not bleaching my skin, my natural color is just coming out.
4. Am on my periods. 5. I went to visit a guy in Abuja, he gave me N50,000 but he did not even touch me
6. I don't love u because of your money.
7. He is just a friend. 8. I love u too!,
-True of False?
Add yours......

Funny Application Letter For A Job
Of Security Guard At
GTB
Dear sar,
I am Name is Tenager, I apply to
my job of security
guard to you boss in your
company of GTBank. ...I am
complete to Sitted 7 examination
certificate in 2003. My
skool here... KAMWALA BASIC very
good. ...
I am 29 ears to be Born of age and
no wafe and no
childish. My father dead long time
ago and my mother
is marry in CONGO REPUBLIC
country there 10 years n
ow, no sees her until now, so
nobody known to help
me...no money and food and tea
and drink.
My
certificate is just sitting in home
for itself, but passes in
Mathematics, Geography, Science
and all subjects but
fail in English because of eazy
teacher teaching me is
look jelous of myself because i
wear expenses cloth and shoe
than
teacher musonda.
I here that people you want
security
guards to your company and I tell
you I am one of that
job experience for 2 years looking
video for Rambo I, II
and III. I also shot thief dead. I
want to join the
company of You and chase
criminal and thief out with
SMG of me. I can fight for SMG,
arrow, spear, panga,
knife, stick and stones. Me also can
fight for boxing like
Tyson.
Please consider my application very
careful and call me
any time because me have hand
telephone now. I am
red for interview with you if you
like me. Me have no
photocopy certificate because the
photocopy machine
there at kabwata shop is a long
time and veryold it can
mistake spelling in the certificate,
that is why.
I am very
honest and I didn't steal since I
born until now,I can
speak English free. I have no very
much to right I have
end here.
Please also greet your wife and
childish!
Yurs fatefooli.... Francis

matinos28: Pls who is this dino melaye

matinos28: Pls who is this dino melaye

matinos28: Pls who is this dino melaye

a TOP GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL IN NIGERIA

God is Good! PolitiCAL TRAUMA IN -NIGERIA-

Sum1 Once told me that only In Nigeria that Bombs is been tested with Humans if it can KILL! Na lie oh, In BOSTON USA, WE Get BOSTON HARAM, but in 9ja we Cum get BOKO HARAM.. Abey he no RHYME? Where the RAPPER (s) IN THE HOUSE?? Cum Testify
Like |Share |Comment

Tolexander: Maybe the boko things don hit US be that!

Similarities between boston and maiduguri!
Maiduguri(Borno state) north east nigeria.
Boston(massachusett state) north east US

shai, what a SHOCKING BREAKING NEW$

Neo-XVI:
Have you no sense of decency? This is a thread discussing dead folks including a child.
Please carry your sales pitch elsewhere, mor0n

hmmmmmm! It simulteneously needs good music in this time of GRIEF!

Download Olamide First Of ALL [DJ WISDYTECH VERSION], Free @
http://m.sharemobile.ro/file/710965

vizboy: so we have such beautiful place in naija

My proud of my state, AKS & MY HOME TOWN UYO As wel

Mr AKPORS CV:
> Name: Sir, General, Thief, Mrs, mr, Comr, armrobber, Dr, engr Akpors
> State of ORIGIN: UNICAL [University of CALABAR]
> Age: Bleep, but take 599yrs
> Occupation & work experience: Armrobbery|native doctor, can Cure AIDS|PUBERTY & had work 4 400yrz so far!
> Resident: Ur house, whn i cum to Thief U
> Height: i tall pass Iroko TREE, ooo
> Children: I get like 300 child(s) so FAR
> Marital Status: I go marry ur wife sooner, bt 4 nw i get jst 85 wive(ses)
=> afta readin, THE MANAGER, Ran MAD!!

Its a Shame, A whole FEDERAL GOVERNMENT! HAS No official site? Jst see jst PRIVATE SITE LIKE, www.nairaland.com am jst SPEECHLESS NOW

READ: Top Salary Earners In Nigeria - Politics - Nairaland:
https://www.nairaland.com/1251408/top-salary-earners-nigeria

pompori king: What are u implying??be very careful oooh

Ar u a non- nigerian? Ar u nt aware of what is happening in this great nation? Use ur BRAIN WISELY

piica: only in Nigeria, pathetic country and graduates roam the street in an empty belly!

YES, am Trying my best, to see if our govt can change for the better of ALL!

What is wrong with our
Government?
*Niger Delta militant Amnesty - 75k/
month,
*Boko Haram - Amnesty 100k/
month,
*NYSC - 19,800/month,
minimum wage - 18,900/month.
-Choose your career wisely. LIKE this
if you Understand!
>>SOURCE: http://www.facebook.com/wisdy20

What is wrong with our
Government?
*Niger Delta militant Amnesty - 75k/
month,
*Boko Haram - Amnesty 100k/
month,
*NYSC - 19,800/month,
minimum wage - 18,900/month.
-Choose your career wisely. LIKE this
if you Understand!
>>SOURCE: http://www.facebook.com/wisdy20

What is wrong with our
Government?
Niger Delta militant Amnesty - 75k/
month,
Boko Haram - Amnesty 100k/
month,
NYSC - 19,800/month,
minimum wage - 18,900/month.
Choose your career wisely. LIKE this
if you Understand!
SOURCE: http://www.facebook.com/wisdy20

AbdH: This one I haven't witnessed ----> 26. Ulema and Qaris will commit adultery.

Lol, number four, FUNNY OH

By Emeka Aginam:

The global software giant,
Microsoft has announced the
availability of Office 2013 in
Nigeria, the next iteration of
the company’s flagship Office
product line for consumers.
The new product allows new
consumer cloud service
works across devices to help
busy people simplify their
lives and get more done.
The new product, according
to Microsoft was designed
to work with both touch and
a mouse, and works
seamlessly in the cloud
giving the user an
unmatched on- and offline
experience.
“Office 2013 makes the end
user more productive in both
a work and home
environment,” Marc Israel,
Office Division Group Lead
for Microsoft West, East and
Central Africa and Indian
Ocean Islands, said, adding
that, “With Office you can
continue working offline,
while the integration with
cloud technologies allows
you to sync your documents
seamlessly allowing you to
be far more productive.”
Cloud technologies, he
explained are fast becoming
part of everyday life, which is
why Microsoft’s Office 365
Home Premium makes sense
for the African market.
Office 20113 is cloud service:
Office 365 Home Premium,
one of the offerings within
Office 2013, Microsoft said is
a cloud service designed for
busy households and people
juggling ever-increasing
work and family
responsibilities. The new
offering includes the latest
and most complete set of
Office applications; works
across up to five devices,
including Windows tablets,
PCs and Macs; and comes
with extra SkyDrive storage
and Skype calling all for
=N=12,800 for an annual
subscription, the equivalent
of less than =N=1,120 per
month.
“This is a major leap
forward. We know that
people’s needs are changing
rapidly, particularly on the
African continent. This new
iteration of Microsoft Office
allows them to adopt
technology that changes
with them, meeting their
everyday requirements.”
Israel said.
It would be recalled that the
CEO of Microsoft, Steve
Ballmer who spoke earlier
during the worldwide launch
of Office 365 Home Premium
on January 29 this year had
highlighted that this marks
the next big step in
Microsoft’s transformation to
a devices and services
business.
“This is so much more than
just another release of Office.
This is Office reinvented as a
consumer cloud service with
all the full-featured Office
applications people know
and love, together with
impressive new cloud and
social benefits,” he said.
Customers believe that the
new iteration of Microsoft
Office allows them to focus
on growing their businesses,
rather than IT functions. “If
there’s one thing I’ve learned
in all my years of doing this,
it’s that no small business
knows how to run a server,”
says David Kroenke, Author
and Small Business Owner.
“And furthermore, they don’t
want to run a server. They
want to run a business. With
Office 365, you can manage
your employees, not your
computers.” Hermi Valk,
Owner of BabyBloem says it
has streamlined
communications
tremendously. “It’s so easy to
communicate now. I can turn
my computer on and see
when China’s online. With
just one click, I can ask them
a question. Office 365 makes
the world more accessible.”
Microsoft also announced it
will now deliver many new
features and services to the
cloud first, transforming the
company’s traditional three-
year release cycle. Now, new
features and services stream
to subscribers as soon as
they are ready, keeping
subscribers always up to
date while eliminating the
hassles of upgrading.
Office Home & Student 2013,
Home & Business 2013,
Professional 2013 and Office
365 Home Premium are
available as of March 19th in
all Microsoft Resellers and
Retailers across Nigeria.
About Office 365 Home
Premium:
Office 365 Home Premium is
available in 162 markets in
21 languages and includes
the following:
•The latest and most
complete set of Office
applications: Word, Excel,
PowerPoint, OneNote,
Outlook, Publisher and
Access
•One license for the entire
household to use Office on
up to five devices, including
Windows tablets, PCs or
Macs, and Office on Demand
available from any Internet-
connected PC1
•An additional 20 GB of
SkyDrive cloud storage,
nearly three times the
amount available with a free
SkyDrive account
•60 free Skype world calling
minutes per month to call
mobile phones, landlines or
PCs around the world2
•Future upgrades, so you
always use the latest time-
saving technology.
==>SOURCE:
http://www.vanguardngr.com/2013/03/microsoft-brings-office-2013-to-nigeria-market/

The governor of Cross River
State, Lyel Imoke, had kept
his promise of rewarding the
Super eagles for winning the
Cup of Nations.
The governor at the
reception that was
organised for the team,
where the Nations Cup
trophy was officially
presented, gave a whopping
N25m gift to the squad.
He also gave each member of
the team a plot of land in
choice areas of Calabar,
confirming his consistent
saying that Calabar is the
home of the team.
The Super Eagles team that
won the trophy for the first
time in 1980 were also given
houses and cars by the Alhaji
Shehu Shagari government.
>>SOURCE:
http://www.vanguardngr.com/2013/03/imoke-splashes-cash-land-on-eagles/

Tolexander: May they rest in perfect peace!
Bomb on land!
capsize on hydrosphere!
Crash for atmosphere!
Where else? Lithosphere?

Have you TRY $PIRITOSPHERE Before? I think is the SAFEST

patholaw: 4rm google in 2008...i waz looking 4 free browsing cheat den and i waz referred to nairaland.

lol! Even in FR3E TOWN, there is no FREE BROW$ING

HOW DID U DISCOVERED www.nairaland.com :
I had been wondering How Some people is so so GOOD IN Researching this days, but So Specially thanks to the FAST Growing Mode of the INTERNET.
My experience all started back in Dec. 2005 when NAIRALAND was Still using its Old site design, that i discovered NAIRALAND, when i went on a researched work, to know the most VISITED WEBSITE in NIGERIA.. But then i was not a REGISTERED MEMBER OF the SITE yet.. Coz it was so so comparted then! All Thanks to GEN. Seun! For the NEW DESIGN...
So lets hear from u, how u did discovered www.NAIRALAND.com and What year was IT??
==> from a Friend
==> Google search
==> SomeOne's phone
==> On AIRTEL NG WEBSITE
==> on a website
==> Other[s] please SPECIFY