₦airaland Forum

Unlimitk:
I'm really tired of osun oyo Muslims, same with kwara Muslims

these ppl make Yorubas land to b underdeveloped

Foolish comment.

Liars.

vastone:
YOU JUST PLAIN STUPID LIKE M.K.O

It is funny when a nonentity compares himself to a great man.

abbeyfel:
Open your brain and mind man! Abiola was a rugged cheat!

In your small mind!

Buckubuck:
I suspect you're remotely overwhelmed by what you perceive as men's expectation from marriage. I'm sure you're single and you're afraid of the prospect of being put in a box of appropriate behaviour when married.

In Nigeria, I am actually expected to be the king in the marriage, to be served as I like.
I don't know the box you are scared of, can you explain?

Respect has only one meaning. Outside it we have pride, arrogance, vanity, ego, laissez faire etc

No, it doesn't and you don't know it.
If I refuse to give police bribe at the checkpoint, they will see me as disrepectful but I know better.
To some people, leaving them alone is respect while others expect you to acknowledge them.

The subject of this discourse to my thinking is dat of a wife assuming the role of a gf. A woman is presumed to be the owner of the house and is expected to be a good host to her husband's guests even if she does not like them. It's ethical behaviour not necessarily servitude. She can clear up any issues she has with them when she's alone with her husband. The moment a wife refuses to be a good host even to the guest's face, she's opening up her marriage for ridicule.

There is no role for wife/gf outside of what they are prepared to give.

That is why marriage is voluntary. You can walk away and find a better slave anytime you want.

As for sharing house chores, there's nothing wrong with that inherently since women are also expected to contribute financially nowadays. But I've been reading a lot of my husband does the cooking and the washing in this thread esp from sassysure and you seem to think having defined role is servitude.

Check back all my posts, you will see that I never mentioned chores which seems to trigger many people
because I consider it a non-issue.
My point is that nobody should be forced to do what they don't want. Washing and cooking is not slavery,
being forced to do them is slavery.

Most of you have a problem if you're asked to submit to your husband but have no issues with being overburdened by your boss at work, forgetting he is actually someone else's husband as well. In normal relationship respect is earned not given, in marriage I suspect respect should be given. It behoves on the receiver not to fritter it away.

Oh, another one.
You assumed I am a woman because I think this particular husband is wrong.
FYI, there are men out there who don't need slaves as wives.
If you find a woman who willingly do whatever you want, good for you and I have no problem
with that.
My issue is that you cannot force your will on a free person like you and then term call it disrespect when they
refuse.

I worked with an NGO involved with domestic affairs. The most common complaint from shocked husbands
usually goes like this. "How can I ask my wife to do X and Y and she dares refuse, isn't it my right to
tell her what to do"

We try to tell them that such behavior is normal when dealing with a fully grown human, not a kid, not a slave. Some later understand some don't.

AutoReportNG:
Can you drive against traffic in UK or in US without not facing the consequences? Charity they say, begins at home.

I am not against being punished for infractions but the punishment should fit the crime.
Sending people to our overcrowded jail over minor traffic offenses is insane and no civilized country will enact such laws.

tetralogyfallot:
If na one alhaji marry this girl now the whole world no go hear word again. Some go even blame buhari join self.

She is an adult and a woman, not a girl.
No one will complain if Alhajis are marrying women instead of girls.

AutoReportNG:
Even when you have the law that tells you the gravity of the offence you are breaking and its punishment? Why do we have laws then if we can't obey them?

We can't always obey laws, if we can we wouldn't need the police and the court.
The penalty is too severe though.

Buckubuck:
I'm not married. That's not a problem. Or is it?
I've been to many marriages and the advice usually given to couple is to treat each other with respect and do ur duties to the spouse regardless of how you're feeling. Nobody gives a relationship that kind of advice. So there's expected to be a difference between marriage and relationship.
You don't know me so you don't know my mindset. Don't put me in a box.

Not being married is not a problem but expecting marriage to be like
a military parade is.

Those advisers are destroying marriages by setting wrong expectations.
Even machines cannot be expected to always deliver, yet some people want a wife that delivers 100% every time
or hell breaks loose.

Have you considered that respect means different things to different people?
Well, many assume it isn't to their own peril.

I expect more wailing stories from married men who will be shocked that they married a human after all who can
neither give perfection or remain the same forever.

Jobless people everywhere.
Men write history for men, not the other way around.
This baseless story like others will die a natural death.

Buckubuck:
From your post, you think single people have no business being friends with married people. You need to realise that the married ones have the responsibility to be positive models to the single ones. If the wife is rejecting her husband's request based on mood, what makes her behaviour different from that of a gf?

From the bold, it is obvious you are nor married.
Everybody, married or single rejects their partners request based on mood.
Perhaps, you have convinced yourself that wives are to obey your commands but
reality is different.
Even rich men with many wives will tell you the same thing that married life is not black and wife.

KomonSense:
So women are liking you post and replies and you think you're making a point abi...?? I pity you


Women think they run the world especially now feminism sh*t is rampant thanks to a wasted Sperm like Chimamanda Adichie

If you show a woman any slightest of weakness , your story will future on instablog naija..

Be wise and I'm not saying you should maltreat any woman ooo but don't give a chance

Who cares about likes?

When you search Google, what type of men complains?
It is your type who wants slaves as wives and when she aims for freedom, they
either resort to violence, start attacking women on the net or cry out that their
wife lacks respect.

I have never seen an enlightened man complain about their wives.

I already provided a solution for your type.

Go to the village and buy an illiterate girl for marriage, she will obey all your orders.

But if you refused, you are the one who will come here to cry.

Liar, she owned no property in the US.
I am sure she is still running from her creditors till date.

Fake news

eni4real:
So helping him to get a job or making provision when the husband was poor gives her the temerity to be rude to her husband with reckless abandon

You never jam the "I have my degree and you have yours" lady.
Like I said "they never do you strong thing"!!

It is obvious that our expectations for marriage are very different.

If your "strong thing" has any meaning, please lay it bare.

She picked the man from the gutters and now he has the effrontery to turn her
into a maid.
He should hire a maid if he wants someone to dish his food for him.

Since he now has a job, I wonder why he hasn't look for a young illiterate wife that
will worship him.

kevin25:
Wat u said now means that u didnt read my write up very well coz i said dat d man is working now nd provides for the family just dat no matter any amount he has d wife has it times two d wife is stil richer than him

Well, it is simple.
Let him divorce her, go to the village and buy an obedient wife since nobody
is tying him down.

eni4real:
Only fools pay Bride price..
What is the essence of paying the bride price when I have to be negotiating who should be the head of the family with my wife..
Being a wife is not slavery but responsibilities to her roles in which the husband assist if it becomes overwhelming..

There is no rule book for life. People are free to choose whatever they want.
The part where I come from recognize bride price but the bride's family never accepts.
If the bride price is the justification for submission, this particular man should be
the one cooking and serving his wife food because he is useless according to your logic.
Slavery is about coercion, threat and lack of choice. So my submission was correct.

I have my roles as the husband too which I will never complain about..
No matter what pseudo education or Westernization teaches, I will continue to be the head of the family while she will continue to be 'neck'.
Never negotiate the leadership of your family. You are the head act like it..

If for some reason you fail to perform your role do you automatically lose your "leadership" position.
What makes you a better leader than your wife?
I admit that some dumb women need guidance but so do dumb men and being incapable
of making sound decisions has nothing to do with gender.

I am not asking you to rule her but lead her. Every woman desires that...

If the bold were true, we won't be having this conversation.
In fact, the wife of this "friend" would have jumped to obey her husband's command.
I guess this false assumption is why many men are shocked and are having marital problems.

If you jam correct "anybody can be the head of the family" lady, you will understand how null and void your point about submission is!!!

I would not advise anybody I know to settle down with a lady who believes in "head of the family"
regardless of who she nominates for the position.
I prefer ones who don't believe in the head at all.

eni4real:
You are rationalizing for this kind of women??
They never do you strong thing

There is no strong thing anywhere.
From the OP's narration, the man has always been poor meaning the woman knew
what she was getting into.
If she had no use for him, she would have dumped him.

kevin25:
So its now a crime to ask ur own wife to get u food from the kitchen don worry wat goes around comes around u call it order? Things fall apart

She is not a maid.
I repeat, she is not a maid.
Does your friend even have a job because it is only jobless people
who fight over petty things.

kevin25:
not matter of marry my girlfrd wont try such talkles of my own wife i dnt enter kitchen talkes Of dishing out food wen my gf is around my dear some women lack respect no matter what a man is a man

Wait. You are still single and you are angry at your friend's wife?
I won't be surprised if you are the one poisoning his minds against his wife.
Married people should be selective of the friends they keep.

Iwanttoto1:
That your husband na very stupit boy. Infacts, him be disgrace to human beans wey carry prick in btwn dier legs

I hope you have passed your JAMB?

eni4real:
Don't involve 3rd party. Continue to be emasculated. It is a big WIN for the wife. She is the real head of the house. The husband is just a ceremonial head!! Love without submission from the wife is merely a manipulation!!!

Only slaves submit.
Free humans collaborate or go their separate ways.
Make sure you buy an illiterate girl from your village to marry
or even stay single forever.
I don't want to see another thread about "my wife disobey me".

SMH

How will he be ordering her around when she is not a maid?

The same kind of insecure men who call women who depend on them "olosho"
are the ones also crying when they meet an independent woman.

She took him from the gutters but now he wants to become an emperor.
Well, he is free to go his separate ways but he will surely be bankrupt in no time.

This is the risk every woman who marries a poor man takes. Most will never be
secure and will be looking for every opportunity to seize control.

franchasng:
Lol, blame your fellow ladies forming feminist and causing guys to wake up from their past slumber

Soon, Nigeria will start compulsory recruitment of ladies into Nigerian Army combatant batallion, SARS Police, Mopol, Custom Border Patrol officers, NDLEA anti drug combat regimen, so that Nigerian women can be equally carried along.

Stop reasoning like illiterates.
Nigeria does not conscript people into the armed forces. It is voluntary.

vikstandon:
Hmmm... You ain't in this country. Or probably an over fed cow.

You might have been over pampered... NPF_NIGERIA is NPF_THUGGERY.
They can label u anything... Just to do their paymaster's bid/will.

Hmmm...You are privileged I guess, you have housemaids to run errands for you. Private or Official Vehicle to Navigate u around.

I hate Nigeria Police with Passion... They are blood suckers.
I have had an encounter not once and not twice...In all God rescued.

You know nothing and maybe your arrogant brain was responsible for your travails
and couldn't think clearly.

Police did not label him with "anything" and will never label a person with a family with "anything".
If his parents can afford private university school fees, they can afford a good lawyer
which will put the DPO in the spotlight and even win damages against them.

I guess the parents are too afraid of hell-fire to confront the "man of god" in charge.

vikstandon:
Hmmm... You ain't in this country. Or probably an over fed cow.

You might have been over pampered... NPF_NIGERIA is NPF_THUGGERY.
They can label u anything... Just to do their paymaster's bid/will.

Hmmm...You are privileged I guess, you have housemaids to run errands for you. Private or Official Vehicle to Navigate u around.

I hate Nigeria Police with Passion... They are blood suckers.
I have had an encounter not once and not twice...In all God rescued.

You know nothing.
Police did not label him with anything and will never label a person with family with "anything".
If his parents can afford private university school fees, they can afford a good lawyer
which will put the DPO in the spotlight and even win damages against them.

I guess the parents are too afraid of hell-fire to confront the "man of god" in charge.

Aonkuuse:
Hope Rwanda has zero corruption Mr president. Even USA is still fighting corruption.

The USA is not fighting corruption, the various institutions are.

Dumb judges everywhere.
I wonder the criteria used in appointing them.

Aketi should be booted out for sacrificing Ondo security for second term.
He must not be reelected.

Any celebrity who donates to her will regret it for the next few years.
She is insane.

GoldChest:
The woman no get respect for men

I've met her one on one and she talks anyhow to people .

I wonder Wetin her jagajaga husband see for her body .

slowpoke, why should she respect a nonentity?

ArticleBeast:
The Yoruba in him came out...fear

Sounding foolish as usual?

I blame the couple for their predicament.
Imagine rolling on the floor to beg their fellow human, not for life or even food
but to officiate a wedding.

Maybe it is the brainwashing, I don't see any reason why the couple
cannot go to another church or even stop at court wedding.

This deeper life people are a control freak and they operate like cultists with stupid rules.