₦airaland Forum

In serious need of the T-shirt pls.got to rock it to the polling boot come FeBuhari 14th

Lets take a cursory look @ the CONSTITUTION.
Section 131 (d) of the Constitution providesthat a
person shall be qualified for electionto the office of
the President if he has beeneducated up to at least
School Certificatelevel or its equivalent. Section
318 goesfurther to say that a “School Certificate or
itsequivalent means: 1. a Secondary School
Certificate or itsequivalent, or Grade II Teacher’s
Certificate,the City and Guilds Certificate; or1.
education up to Secondary School Certificatelevel;
or1. Primary Six School Leaving Certificate or
itsequivalent and-1. Service in the public or private
sector in theFederation in any capacity acceptable
to theIndependent National Electoral
Commissionfor a minimum of ten years, and2.
attendance at courses and training in
suchinstitutions as may be acceptable to
theIndependent National Electoral Commissionfor
periods totaling up to a minimum of oneyear,
andthe ability to read, write, understand
andcommunicate in the English language to
thesatisfaction of the Independent NationalElectoral
Commission, and1. any other qualification
acceptable by theIndependent National Electoral
Commission....Pls, let's interprete this together
and see who is the real ILLITERATE... No wonder
they are tagged "PEOPLE DECEIVING PARTY"

They were so fixated in getting GMB disqualified
that they forgot to campaign or better put they
had nothing to campaign about.#GEJOUT

My people, me for one I am not suprise that GEJ
and his crazy associates don't even know what to
campaign about anymore, unfortunately enough
they don't do their research very well before
coming out with such unfounded stories about
Buhari. Well, we are waiting for the election day
and PVC or not, I don't know who will stop me
from casting my vote for Buhari. Come to think
about it, they never knew or assume that General
Buhari will have any classmate still alive or
possible someone like Late She Yar'Adua (God
Bless His Soul) will feel it deem fit to mention GMB
to be his class mate. Now you can see even the
dead are speaking against Jonathan and his
irresponsible associates such as Fayose

BREAKING.
PDP: Buhari has no marriage certificate. Army
says even though it attended his wedding, they
don't know if he's married

The story now is was there Katsina state in
1961? How dumb can some people be? I was
admitted into OAU Ile-Ife OYO State. If today I
want a replacement for my degrees from that
university, it will read OSUN state. I take it
further, if someone presents a document reading
GONGOLA state, these dunce heads will scream
fraud yet we had such in Nigeria. I have also
heard the argument that Buhari had F9 in
Mathematics; so what? At least his credit in
English is an assurance that he will know that
STEALING is a subset of CORRUPTION.

Buhari is too tall to be President... PDP

Campaigning with wishful death can only happen on this part of the world.Why will a sane person albeit a leader give that kind of ads.In fact Punch should be sanctioned for even putting it all out for all to see.Fayose is known to be a thug,when did he become a soothsayer?

I've always told you guys never to take that man called Fayose serious,will any right thinking leader of a whole state make this kind of advertisement public?He's forgetting that we don't own ourselves.what makes him think he'll even live to witness the election?same applies to us.Nothing wey PDP no go use campaign again oooo.it's now I know the meaning of a drowning man will clutch at a straw. PDP has really lost it

GEJ dey insult us oooo walahi,so him dey think say we be "I never chop".Reducing the price now so that after we Don vote am him go fit double am abi.Infact if I wan vote for am before,him Don finally step on my toes.I'd rather vote for a dog now.mcheeew

GEJ is working but unfortunately all he's been doing is enriching a very small percentage of our dear Nation.He's working but still we're ranked amongst the poorest nations in the world.GEJ is working but we're faced with threats of disintegration. GEJ is really working but our security that's well respected worldwide prior his coming in is now a BIG JOKE.GEJ is indeed working but we all know it's only his time that STEALING isn't CORRUPTION. GEJ is really working but we say his 6 years stay is OK.Jonathan can't be better than Jonathan certainly and we want an able hand to bring Nigeria to Greatness.The time for Change is now.
Let's vote wisely

"My wife is your daughter."
- President Goodluck Jonathan to Abians.
"You are a daughter of the soil."
- Ochendo to Dame Patience.
Question:
Where is Dame Patience Jonathan from?

Quote of the day
It is possible that Buhari is worse than
Jonathan, it is also possible that Buhari is
better than Jonathan. What is NOT possible is
for Jonathan to be better than Jonathan -
# copied
SUMMARY
Jonathan can not be the # change we all agree
(including the PDP) we need.

Quote of the day
It is possible that Buhari is worse than
Jonathan, it is also possible that Buhari is
better than Jonathan. What is NOT possible is
for Jonathan to be better than Jonathan -
# copied
SUMMARY
Jonathan can not be the # change we all agree
(including the PDP) we need.

Quote of the day
It is possible that Buhari is worse than
Jonathan, it is also possible that Buhari is
better than Jonathan. What is NOT possible is
for Jonathan to be better than Jonathan -
# copied
SUMMARY
Jonathan can not be the # change we all agree
(including the PDP) we need.

Quote of the day
It is possible that Buhari is worse than
Jonathan, it is also possible that Buhari is
better than Jonathan. What is NOT possible is
for Jonathan to be better than Jonathan -
# copied
SUMMARY
Jonathan can not be the # change we all agree
(including the PDP) we need.

Quote of the day
It is possible that Buhari is worse than
Jonathan, it is also possible that Buhari is
better than Jonathan. What is NOT possible is
for Jonathan to be better than Jonathan -
# copied
SUMMARY
Jonathan can not be the # change we all agree
(including the PDP) we need.

Quote of the day
It is possible that Buhari is worse than
Jonathan, it is also possible that Buhari is
better than Jonathan. What is NOT possible is
for Jonathan to be better than Jonathan -
# copied
SUMMARY
Jonathan can not be the # change we all agree
(including the PDP) we need.

The devotees and the sophisticated suits me fine

looks like all anti Buhari/APC will have to abandon their MTN line for now. :Plooks like all anti Buhari/APC will have to abandon their MTN line for now.

Jonathan met with the Queen of England.
He asked her, "How do you run such an efficient
government? Are there any tips u can give to me? I
want to help Nigeria."
"Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing
is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Jonathan frowned, and then asked,"But how do i
know the people around me are really intelligent?"
The Queen replied, "Oh, that's easy, you just ask
them to answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen
pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send
David Cameron in here, would you?"
David Cameron walked into the room and
said,"Yes, your majesty?"
The Queen smiled and said, "Answer this riddle.
David, your mother and father have a child, it is
not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is
it?" Without pausing for a minute David Cameron
answered, "that would be me."
"Yes, very good," said the Queen.
Jonathan went back home to ask his Vice
President Sambo.
JONATHAN: Answer this. Your mother and your
father have a child, it's not your brother and it's
not your sister, who is it?
SAMBO: "I'm not sure, let me get back to you."
He asked all his staff in the Office but none could
give him an answer. Finally, one day, VP Sambo
ran into Dora Akunyili. Sambo asked, Dora,
SAMBO: Your mother and father have a child and
it's not your brother or sister, who is it?"
Dora answered sharply, "That's easy, its me!"
Sambo smiled,and said "Thanks!"
Then he went back to speak with President
Jonathan.
Sambo: Sir, I have the answer to that riddle, It's
Dora Akunyili!
Jonathan got angry,he said to Sambo. "No wonder
Nigeria isn't moving forward, I am surrounded by
Dummies! The answer is David Cameron!"
WHO IS MORE INTELLIGENT?

Jonathan met with the Queen of England.
He asked her, "How do you run such an efficient
government? Are there any tips u can give to me? I
want to help Nigeria."
"Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing
is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Jonathan frowned, and then asked,"But how do i
know the people around me are really intelligent?"
The Queen replied, "Oh, that's easy, you just ask
them to answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen
pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send
David Cameron in here, would you?"
David Cameron walked into the room and
said,"Yes, your majesty?"
The Queen smiled and said, "Answer this riddle.
David, your mother and father have a child, it is
not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is
it?" Without pausing for a minute David Cameron
answered, "that would be me."
"Yes, very good," said the Queen.
Jonathan went back home to ask his Vice
President Sambo.
JONATHAN: Answer this. Your mother and your
father have a child, it's not your brother and it's
not your sister, who is it?
SAMBO: "I'm not sure, let me get back to you."
He asked all his staff in the Office but none could
give him an answer. Finally, one day, VP Sambo
ran into Dora Akunyili. Sambo asked, Dora,
SAMBO: Your mother and father have a child and
it's not your brother or sister, who is it?"
Dora answered sharply, "That's easy, its me!"
Sambo smiled,and said "Thanks!"
Then he went back to speak with President
Jonathan.
Sambo: Sir, I have the answer to that riddle, It's
Dora Akunyili!
Jonathan got angry,he said to Sambo. "No wonder
Nigeria isn't moving forward, I am surrounded by
Dummies! The answer is David Cameron!"
WHO IS MORE INTELLIGENT?

Jonathan met with the Queen of England.
He asked her, "How do you run such an efficient
government? Are there any tips u can give to me? I
want to help Nigeria."
"Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing
is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Jonathan frowned, and then asked,"But how do i
know the people around me are really intelligent?"
The Queen replied, "Oh, that's easy, you just ask
them to answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen
pushed a button on her intercom. "Please send
David Cameron in here, would you?"
David Cameron walked into the room and
said,"Yes, your majesty?"
The Queen smiled and said, "Answer this riddle.
David, your mother and father have a child, it is
not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is
it?" Without pausing for a minute David Cameron
answered, "that would be me."
"Yes, very good," said the Queen.
Jonathan went back home to ask his Vice
President Sambo.
JONATHAN: Answer this. Your mother and your
father have a child, it's not your brother and it's
not your sister, who is it?
SAMBO: "I'm not sure, let me get back to you."
He asked all his staff in the Office but none could
give him an answer. Finally, one day, VP Sambo
ran into Dora Akunyili. Sambo asked, Dora,
SAMBO: Your mother and father have a child and
it's not your brother or sister, who is it?"
Dora answered sharply, "That's easy, its me!"
Sambo smiled,and said "Thanks!"
Then he went back to speak with President
Jonathan.
Sambo: Sir, I have the answer to that riddle, It's
Dora Akunyili!
Jonathan got angry,he said to Sambo. "No wonder
Nigeria isn't moving forward, I am surrounded by
Dummies! The answer is David Cameron!"
WHO IS MORE INTELLIGENT?

ARKdiscloser7:
Pls remove Nollywood.
They are known as Yoruba film actors.

But we are not surprised!
The entire Yoruba has once more bowed to their slave masters in the north.

stop bring tribalistic.One Nigeria is what we crave for and it's achievable if people like you puts your mind to it.since we all want a better Nigeria,it shouldn't be hard to put Nigeria first before tribes and religion.
God bless Nigeria

Esdb3:
what is always wrong you this pedants always trying to show you read the dictionary once every month. Its"Infuriate" oga and nothing in this post can "infuriate" anybody or be "amazing" its "funny" or "amusing". Using big words you don't know does not show you're learned, it just makes you look stupid!

bros,Wetin d guy do u nah.Obaihiagbon started from somewhere too oooo

Pls OP,stop giving Fayose cheap publicity.seriously,he's the only man I know presently who is more clueless than Ogagun Jonah.His words counts for Nothing even in his backyard so why should we bother ourselves on his lame utterances?
Morning Nairalanders

deriod:
Obasanjo & Tinubu matter shouldn't be ur problem ,intensify d campaign for ur Boss ,febuhari Gej is going back to otuoke & u will b d one to change address cos u b going with him to support him in his fish farming .


sai Buhari

abeg tell am well.His left ear is blind and his right eye is dumb to see Change is everywhere

Baddestguyp:
code pls

Bought from individuals. You send card and your number and he sends the data

nacosprof:
has released what he believed
would happen in this New Year. One of his
prophecies was that 2015 election would be
a replica of June 12. He said Jonathan should
be prayerful as there are plans to kill him.
Suleiman who head the Auchi-based Omega
Fire Ministries also said the queen of
England and Shehu Shagari may die.
1.There shall be harvest of testimonies
for women looking for fruit of the womb.
2. President Obama needs serious prayers
for his health.
3. I see a woman becoming the president
of America, but her health needs
attention.
4. Britain needs prayers because of her
Queen.
5. I entered the house of former
president Shehu Shagari in the spirit and
I saw RIP; he needs prayers.
6. There shall be agricultural boom this
year.
7. I saw Catholic Reverend Fathers getting
married. I saw a group rising, called “Old
Catholic Church”, they were on fire for
God and caused a revolution.
8. Boko Haram is sponsored by two
people; one is a traditional ruler and the
other is a retired General.
9. Nollywood should stop Unclothedness
and immoral content been shown
because God is not happy.
10. Bola Tinubu, Bode George and king of
Onitsha need prayers.
11. A great Pentecostal man of God been
called to glory. I wept.
12. I see president Goodluck Jonathan
coming back but troubles.
13. I saw people crying in the Oba of
Benin’s house.
14. Libyan election to be cancelled.
15. El Rufai should go and sit down. For
abusing Jesus, he will not win Kaduna
election.
16. Brigade Commander Aso rock should
be changed.
17. Buhari’s health needs attention.
18. Aminu Tambuwal, I saw him leading
Sokoto State.
19. Dangote will not have it smooth this
year; he will drop from Africa’s richest.
20. Patience Jonathan needs serious
prayers.
21. Egypt will have elections.
22. 2015 presidential election will be
rigged, marred in violence and end up in
court case.
23. Thank you Jesus! Finally a Christian is
now the governor of Lagos state.
24. A popular Abuja pastor needs serious
prayers. I saw mourning.
25. I saw the Naira falling greatly. It
became N200 (two hundred naira) to 1$ (a
dollar).
26. I saw Cameroonian soldiers killing
Boko Haram soldiers.
27. Prophets who deceive people, collects
their properties, charge money, will face
great judgment this year.
28. Rochas Okorocha; I saw him moving to
PDP.
29. Contrary to most prophecies, Nigeria
will not break up.
30. Nigerian Government will start
fighting the Gospel and men of God.
31. Military leaders will be changed.
32. There will be plan to kill Goodluck
Jonathan but it will be exposed.
33. I saw governor Amosun return.
34. APC Rivers State needs to do grass
root campaign because I saw the election
been rigged for PDP. Prayers are needed
because of so much bloodshed.
35. Three popular musicians will die; one
of them is a young boy.
36. Former President Obasanjo should go
and make peace with God, Nigeria is not
his problem.
37. The retired Army General one of the
sponsors of Bokoharam, God warned him
recently with his health. The next, God
will take his life.
38. I saw a man win Governorship but not
allowed to govern.
39. I saw attention in Delta state moved
to Agbor.
40. President Gooluck Jonathan should
arrest corrupt leaders. His calmness is
what is empowering them to steal.
41. I saw people who resigned as
ministers to contest election return back
as Federal ministers.
42. I see so much food in Nigeria in 2015.
43. I saw major death in China (I saw
group of kids killed)
44. A great man of God whose first name
begins with 3rd letter and Surname with
15th letter needs serious prayers. I saw
serious crisis and crying. Please let’s pray
for him.
45. Let’s pray against military
intervention and interim government.
46. President election inconclusive, yet
Jonathan declared winner. APC Pray!
47. I don’t see Buhari with credentials to
vie for president.
48. Ghana economy to have terrible and
serious crisis.
49. With the level of bloodshed I saw, it
was better Goodluck goes now to his
village quietly.
50. 2015 election is another June 12. The
man who truly won will not govern or
rule.

Nah only him God revealed all these to?The man deysleep,drink, eat and even play prolly Chess or Scrabble with God be that ooo.I no fit talk say the man of God dey hallucinate sha

iluvweed:
We also need one for mama peace...


Meanwhile.....

Assuming you are watching football match at a
viewing centre, Chelsea vs Man U.
A guy just walked in and sat next to you and the
following conversation ensue:
D guy: Bros how far? Na match them dey play?
You: Yes nau. Shebi na im u dey watch.
D guy: Ok. Abeg who dey play?
You: Na im be dat na. Chelsea vs Man U.
D guy: oh ok. Abeg who wear blue?
You: Na chelsea wear blue.
D guy: owk who com wear red?
You: oooh c am nau, na man u.
D guy: owk no vex. Ehm bros na 1st half abi
second half.
You: chai guy na wa 4 u o. Na 1st half nau. C
am, na 20minutes bros.
D guy: oh ok. Bros abeg wetin be scores?
You: come guy. Na 0-0 na. shebi na im we dey
watch.
D guy: oh oh oh ok 0-0. . Abeg who cum get
zero?
My broda my sista at dis juncture,. Wetin u go
do??.....

Bros nah to find another seat for yourself oooo

"GEJ to provide 2 million jobs annually if RE-
ELECTED." For more JOKES, send "JONA" to
"2015".