₦airaland Forum

Shymm3x:
Innocent ladies are my best friends and it will be nice if they can lead a brother in the path of holiness. I'm a nice guy.

I do miss Church sometimes, especially the praise/worship and the family setting (that's what I used to like a lot about Church, anyway). But I'm not really a fan of everything else that goes on in there and I've never been the religious type. Praise/worship in a crowd is definitely spiritual...as for prayers, I can always do that by myself and communicate with my maker.



Hmmm. Let me give you a next bracket. Who do you prefer - Burna boi or Wizkid?



Nah, that's a super model. But Kevin McCall is a G.

Hahahaha leading in path of holiness, I would suggest a brother leads a brother .

Church is really nice and you know one shouldn't forsake the gathering of the brethren.

Burna boy or wizkid - NONE OF THE ABOVEEEE

Though some ladies may prefer burna boy but for me none of them

Shymm3x:
Good guys in this context basically means pushovers and the ones who'll always go out of their way to pander to their partners.

pushovers - No
Going out of the way to please (note the word please)- yes.

Shymm3x:
So when you're in that space, you can never be thorough/firm and that's what separates the two. The "bad boys" are also human and they do good things but they're always firm in the act.

Not being able to be thorough if a good guy - wrong
Bad boys doing good things sometimes - right

Shymm3x:
Also being emotional is about showing your soft side all the time. It comes with having a weak mentality and that's where Mr. Nice Guy lives and thrives. However, "bad boys" deal with being passionate and that comes with commitment and strong mentality.



D

So what if mr Nice guy shows his soft side most of the time is there anything wrong with that. He's not being weak just being a good guy and a good lady will NEVER translate that as weakness.

Shymm3x:
Lol. Nice guys can't be thorough. Once you thorough, there's no way you would be a pushover or be in a space where you've to get emotional all the time. Being thorough comes with a strong mentality and firmness that exudes that control at all times. Nice guys in this context lack the composure and mental fortitude to operate at that level. You'll always have ya way with them.


D

Wrong again I will say again a guy can be a good guy and be firm.

Shymm3x:
I like my Church chics - big fan. I'm planning to start going to Church again cos that's where all the nice chics hide.

It would be nice if you start going but please not because of the innocent ladies.

Shymm3x:
Gotcha!

So why did you and missy89 allude to my statement being a blanket one when you both like "bad boys" albeit she's into the white ones? I guess I'm right then, alie?

You didnt get me at all I never gave the impression that I like bad boys lai lai . You are wrong yes you are. I only made an exception as it is in with all rules but that doesn't translate to me supporting the exception.[/quote]The lady actually looks "badder" than the guy from my perspective but then one cant always judge by looks.

Shymm3x:
So I know how Church girls get down.

Thats interesting

Shymm3x:
Another interesting pic - Nipsey Hussle, a real and certified G, bagged Lauren London (they're still together)

Well maybe he falls within the " tad wayward/ weird sweet/nice guy" bracket. He looks like my own definition of a bad boy but then things are not always the way they seem to appear.

Shymm3x:
Being a bad guy encompasses a lot of things - it's just about being thorough and firm in ya approach, without being emotional or trying to overly pander to anyone.

So good guys are not thorough and firm and bad boys
cant be emotional that's very interesting

Shymm3x:
And folks who're thorough, regardless of status, always have a percentage of "thug" in them cos it comes with the territory. And some might allude to "alpha male" (this sounds a tad cliche these days). So whatever ya definition is, you can always say it.
.

hmmm, so if my inference is right- bad guys are thorough/ firm and guys who are thorough have a percentage of "thug" in them. So can I safely say that you think good/nice guys who are thorough /firm have some thuggery attitude. I am assuming you accept that there are very nice sweet guys that are thorough or am I missing something about your definition of thoroughness.

Whats with all this alpha /beta /gamma male you guys keep talking about here and there.

2sex:
I wasn't expecting the women to admit it.

It's more latent than obvious and majorly genetic as the case maybe because that's just how they are wired!

Which woman here would like to marry a virgin man? I doubt 99.99% would. So what are all the defenses for?

Personally, in my early dating life, I was abused and misused, because I WAS the nice guy, the very predictable being. They didn't like it that way... UNTIL I change. Now a woman can hardly predict me and I have mastered how to be in control of my emotions.

However, I know deep down that I am sweet, nice and dead drop romantic. But I resolve that ONLY the one who truly deserve it will EVER see that part of me and it come at a price... A price of her truth worth. Otherwise, I would be so invinsible.

You expect that ladies should admit that they prefer bad guys, I really do not understand where our Nairaland brothers see these kind of ladies


I do not agree that's how ladies are wired.

I would like to marry a virgin man and I know a lot of ladies who have done that and those would still love to soooo your 99.99 stats is very very flawed.

You were not abused because you were the nice guy you were simply with the wrong person. I have said this before and I will say it again Some Guys too also get attracted to the "bad ladies" They almost never go for the good ladies who will appreciate their niceness, should I also say its genetic.


The major problem here is you most likely would have scared the good lady with your not-nice attitude and by the time you realize she's worth your real sweet self she would have gone. You better become visible if you. want to get a lady that will appreciate that mr nice guy in you.

Shymm3x:
Looool. You need to let a sweet/nice guy in cos it seems they're losing.

Bad boys can't be picking all the good girls.

Loool oooo , I didn't want to derail the thread that's the reason I evaded that question. I wont even go near a "bad guy" and besides my definition of a bad guy is a bit strange ooo. Let's say my orientation is a bit different (you know that already joor).

Shymm3x:
Oh, my Ijebu sister is shy.

Looool maybe, maybe not.

Shymm3x:
So is ya BF a sweet/nice guy or bad boy?

loool, I wont answer that question.

Shymm3x:
Nah, based on public opinions - most chics prefer the guys on the left.

I still do not understand why people think most ladies prefer bad guys. I seem to hear it every now and then. The fact that some ladies made bad choices doesn't mean most will make that same mistake.

raumdeuter:
I know this from personal experience. It has happened to me like 5 times. While younger I was closer to the rough/bad guy. I can joke and say x rated stuffs easily

There was a girl from the same school we met when I was on IT. In the same office, i would talk dirty, say nasty stuffs she would just laugh say "You are a very bad boy" but she would come around to gist and hear more. The talks got increasingly dirty and she would really find it very funny. It was when we got back to school that ppl were wondering how I could get that girl. This was a girl that would go in front of a lecture theatre of 300 students to preach regularly.

Another one during NYSC. Very born again girl NCCF deputy mama (She doesnt even put treatment in her hair) It started as a joke in the staff room. Of course everyday was I would move from one corper to the other. But after talking to her. and honestly I didnt have it in mind to even do anything with her. That was how she started following me about. Things happened between us. I would drink and even smoke while she would be clinging to me

All of them followed the same pattern, girls that I never expected would even pay me attention because I was bad/rough

All these girls had some bro that was always visiting them trying to get their attention and they would even ridicule the bro when they are gone. those bros used to fear me then and wonder what Sister Bleep was doing with me

Maybe its curiosity, having a feel of what the other side is.

freecocoa:
Take a look at raumdeuter's post, does the lady described seem normal? and we are supposed to believe that's "the feminine makeup generally" like seriously? Funny.

Honestly, the lady doesn't seem normal.

raumdeuter:
Its the feminine makeup generally. They love the roughness of those bad guys thats why in school some girls would be queuing up for some bad guy while seriously friend zoning the guys who are cool serious bookworms

Even the born again sisters are not left out

Feminine make up loving roughness I dont agree. I agree that ladies sometimes make the wrong choices because of the wrong reasons but loving the roughness I don't think so.


Born again sisters? I disagree joor.

Shymm3x:
All the ones on the left are rough around the edges. They might look like nice guys on the outside but they aren't sweet guys. They're all thorough bred.

Even Denzel used to be a G (and he still is despite his age).

So all those on the right are the real sweet/nice guys hmm well a its expected that most ladies would go for will smith and co but like I said earlier its not always the case and I really cant understand why.

freecocoa:
there are women who have never at any point in their lives wanted a bad boy.

I agree with you.

Shymm3x:
Lmao. I'm not generalising - I'm just trying to help the mindset of a lot of women, and help the nice/sweet guys out cos it seems they're losing.

Anyway, this is for you and missy89. I'm going to create a bracket and I want the both of you to select one guy from each bracket. This will help a lot in knowing what ya mindset is and please keep it real.

- Idris Elba vs. Terrence Howard

- Denzel Washington vs. Will Smith

- Marc Lamont Hill vs. Don Lemon

- Colin Kaepernick vs. Russell Wilson

- Carmelo Anthony vs. Al Horford

- Chris Webber vs. Reggie Miller

- Tupac vs. Q.tip

PS: if you don't know the names - you can google them.

Lool, I am a bit lazy now I really cant google about those i dont know much about. Even those I know what makes you think either of them falls within my own definition of a nice guy.

Shymm3x:
Lmao...that's the average chic for you regardless of her status/education. They always fall in love with "thugs"/bad boys. Thugs/bad boys necessarily don't mean hoodrats - just folks who are rough around the edges and are a product of their environment.

Academics like Dr. Eric Dyson and Dr. Marc Lamont Hill also fall into that cos regardless of how educated they're - they're still a product of the mean streets of Detroit and Philly respectively. And they'd tell you that off the bat. Ditto folks like Idris Elba and Denzel Washington.

Dollyparton1
Yetseyi
missy89
1bkaye

What do you lot think? And how come you lot always sheg the sweet/nice guys?

Like missy said stop generalizing

The same way some guys leave the "good ladies" is also the same way some ladies ignore the nice guys.

Most ladies know a nice guy is what they need but for whatever reason some of us just tend to want more(which is not what they need). Its quite complex and I seem not to understand it my self.

Why would I ignore a guy who treats me right? I have seen it happen several times to people and then I ask is she all right. The same is applicable to guys, they leave the good ladies and then run after the ones that its obvious would give them problems.

But there are some smart ladies out there who know a good/nice/sweet guy when they see one and make sure they keep him.

I really appreciate the birthday messages, thank you very much and God bless.

https://www.nairaland.com/2531534/she-wants-get-pregnant-because
martyns303 check out that link. There are people that have very painful menses.

I had a friend/room mate like that too during NYSC she doesn't go to to PPA when she's on her period, it was that bad.
She just lies down in pain, the normal painkillers didn't do much. Later a doctor prescribed another for her which she takes days before the period, even at that she felt slight relief .

Her's is also hereditary and she had super heavy flow, that was when I first saw blood "pouring" from some one. After the period she's always very pale and white after losing so much blood. All my life I have never seen someone passing through so much pain because of menses.

She had seen doctors and they didnt see anything wrong with her medically. Her mum also passed through the same according to her and when she married and gave birth it stopped.

She prepares for the period itself, in fact it takes about 10 days before she gets back to normal 3 days before she will start taking painkillers and then after the period she will begin to take multivitamins/iron capsules.

She wedded recently at 26 and she was a virgin if she could bear it I believe your girl can. Your girl will scale through, you and her family just needs to be supportive.

The pain can be horrible though, just remembering my friend/roommate sends shivers down my spine.

Happy birthday, wishing you the very best.You are my birthday mate.
Happy birthday to me too. August born are always very special.

SirShymexx:
Lol. I don't know much - just learning like everyone else. Education is a continuous process.

Okay, if you say so. But I think our sisters also have to do more to stop making every guy a villain. They're also going to have male kids one day and how would a mother feel, if she ever finds out that her sons are falsely accused of rape or targeted as potential rapists? Everything in life always go full circle, hence it's always better to maintain a balance.

No probs - you've got the supreme pass.

You are right anyway maintaining a balance is important.

dfrost:
I posted this yesterday and here is an evidence already. Please give it to some men folk out there that protect the women folk (sister/mother/gf/wife/passer-by/et al).

@
classicB
soonest
yetseyi

Please heap some praises too for some of the men folk that die trying... Shalom

Okaayyyy they are trying

dfrost:
I posted this yesterday and here is an evidence already. Please give it to some men folk out there that protect the women folk (sister/mother/gf/wife/passer-by/et al).

@
classicB
soonest
yetseyi

Please heap some praises too for some of the men folk that die trying... Shalom

Okaayyyy they are trying looool.

SirShymexx:
I noticed the mentions thing as well - I think it has to do with whatever scripting language they used for the back-end of the forum. I'm guessing it's python cos that's the programming language the owner of the forum is conversant with.

Hmmm...don't fret, all guys aren't potential rapists. We're human, just as chics are, albeit with a different body anatomy induced by the XY chromosomes. We just happen to be heterogametic, while women are homogametic sex. And we have sisters, mothers, and nans. However, always be observant/vigilant cos the the world is a dangerous place.

C'mon, women have overused the victim card and it's so nauseating/boring right now. It's always about them, them, and them. The average woman out there is allergic to taking any responsibility whatsoever, it's always the fault of the men. Err, I'll give you a pass cos you're different.

You seem to know a bit of a lot of things: British history, international politics also programming.

Yeah I agree not all men are rapists. Now its anatomy

I still don't agree with the victim card in this context coz when a lady is raped she's always a victim, maybe in other scenarios you might have a point but on this issue nope .

Ahhh a pass from sirshymexx thats quite nice.

dfrost:
yetseyi
Don't be afraid of all men. Don't loose guard either. Shalom.

loool its okay

dfrost:
. What I understand from the participants of this topic (especially the women folk) is that they need assurance from the opposite gender that they will be protected (excluding those who hunt for trouble on their own) and also the male folk should speak out for them when the need arises.
.

Can the guys assure the ladies this.

Where is my own nutriC?

SirShymexx:
Good to hear that, my beautiful Ijebu sis. Happy Sunday.

Firstly, at age 18 and above, everyone should be able to sense danger, when he/she is around one. Minor will get a pass...but once you're over 16, you should start being held accountable. The world isn't a safe place and a lot of folks are out there to take advantage of people.

Secondly, a lot of chics do that all time. I can speak about from my own experience. A lot of chics have slept over at mines, wearing my T-shirt with just panties on, or my tracksuit bottom - and they didn't give in to sex. Apart from the fact that I can't jeopardise my future and everything I've worked hard for, for sex - I knowing losing and not having ya way all the time is part of life. You win some and lose some. And for a chic to feel comfortable enough to sleep over at yours - even if she doesn't let off the first/one time, she'll do another time. It's all about playing the waiting game. However, not every guy understands that - so chics shouldn't be putting themselves in a precarious position like that cos they're just as culpable as the guy in the act.

Thirdly, when chics, especially teenagers, are around perverted older people/extended-family-members (the uncles and aunts) who're potential rapists - they'll know. Don't forget we were once teenagers and these things don't just happen at one fell swoop - these things happen in stages - from the perverted way they look at you, to how they might get touchy from time to time, etc.,except in isolated cases. And in as much as a lot of teenagers do can sense what's going on, I believe parents should endeavour to educate their kids on how to deal with folks who're like that, to avert danger. I've got sisters and a lot of female acquaintances, and we talk about these things all the time. Teenage girls aren't even the only ones who go through this ordeal - a lot teen boys also do.

Fourthly, lol at being unnecessarily at alert. Life is short, and enjoy it to the fullest. Not saying you should drop guard, but being like that can put people in an awkward position. It's just basically similar to how most white people act when they see a black male. As a black male, it will always trouble you for being targeted unjustly for absolutely no reason whatsoever. And I believe if this whole rape noise isn't put in check, it's going to create the same unnecessary suspicions between men and women. Always apply wisdom and be vigilant/observant in a subtle way. Not all men are potential rapists. I don't know how rampant rape is in Nigeria, however, I doubt rape victims are in the majority. So why the unnecessary noise, when it can be dealt with in a more effective way, without creating unnecessary suspicions/tensions between both groups?

Lastly, no guy, no matter how perverted he's would just see any chic on the road and rape her - except nutjobs. Hence I posited that they seldom happen, regardless of how primeval the society is. And when you're victim of a nutjob on the prowl - there's nothing you can do about that. Just basically a victim of circumstance. Anyway, the victim card women play all the time is nauseating - when are they ever going to be responsible for anything? The world doesn't revolve around them alone - men are also out here and we're also victims of a lot of things.

P.S: sorry for the long post.

Happy sunday to you tooo

First paragraph- I agree just a little ooo

2nd paragraph - no comment

3rd paragraph- hmmm thats true and one point I will emphasize is the unnecessary tension it will create between guys and ladies. I have never been harassed but the way it seems a sizeable number of ladies have had near-rape cases is quite alarming

4th paragraph- You think ladies are just playing the victim card unnecessarily?

SirShymexx:
Good to hear that, my beautiful Ijebu sis. Happy Sunday.

Firstly, at age 18 and above, everyone should be able to sense danger, when he/she is around one. Minor will get a pass...but once you're over 16, you should start being held accountable. The world isn't a safe place and a lot of folks are out there to take advantage of people.

Secondly, a lot of chics do that all time. I can speak about from my own experience. A lot of chics have slept over at mines, wearing my T-shirt with just panties on, or my tracksuit bottom - and they didn't give in to sex. Apart from the fact that I can't jeopardise my future and everything I've worked hard for, for sex - I knowing losing and not having ya way all the time is part of life. You win some and lose some. And for a chic to feel comfortable enough to sleep over at yours - even if she doesn't let off the first/one time, she'll do another time. It's all about playing the waiting game. However, not every guy understands that - so chics shouldn't be putting themselves in a precarious position like that cos they're just as culpable as the guy in the act.

Thirdly, when chics, especially teenagers, are around perverted older people/extended-family-members (the uncles and aunts) who're potential rapists - they'll know. Don't forget we were once teenagers and these things don't just happen at one fell swoop - these things happen in stages - from the perverted way they look at you, to how they might get touchy from time to time, etc.,except in isolated cases. And in as much as a lot of teenagers do can sense what's going on, I believe parents should endeavour to educate their kids on how to deal with folks who're like that, to avert danger. I've got sisters and a lot of female acquaintances, and we talk about these things all the time. Teenage girls aren't even the only ones who go through this ordeal - a lot teen boys also do.

Fourthly, lol at being unnecessarily at alert. Life is short, and enjoy it to the fullest. Not saying you should drop guard, but being like that can put people in an awkward position. It's just basically similar to how most white people act when they see a black male. As a black male, it will always trouble you for being targeted unjustly for absolutely no reason whatsoever. And I believe if this whole rape noise isn't put in check, it's going to create the same unnecessary suspicions between men and women. Always apply wisdom and be vigilant/observant in a subtle way. Not all men are potential rapists. I don't know how rampant rape is in Nigeria, however, I doubt rape victims are in the majority. So why the unnecessary noise, when it can be dealt with in a more effective way, without creating unnecessary suspicions/tensions between both groups?

Lastly, no guy, no matter how perverted he's would just see any chic on the road and rape her - except nutjobs. Hence I posited that they seldom happen, regardless of how primeval the society is. And when you're victim of a nutjob on the prowl - there's nothing you can do about that. Just basically a victim of circumstance. Anyway, the victim card women play all the time is nauseating - when are they ever going to be responsible for anything? The world doesn't revolve around them alone - men are also out here and we're also victims of a lot of things.

P.S: sorry for the long post.

Happy sunday to you tooo

First paragraph- I agree just a little ooo

2nd paragraph - no comment

3rd paragraph- hmmm thats true and one point I will emphasize is the unnecessary tension it will create between guys and ladies. I have never been harassed but the way it seems a sizeable number of ladies have had near-rape cases is quite alarming.

4th paragraph- You think ladies are just playing the victim card unnecessarily? I really don't think so.


why am I not seeing my mentions

SirShymexx:
I'm alright, Sis - and you?

In as much as it may not be possible to know all rapists, but you'd be able to detect the majority, if you're observant when you're around them. It's just about being observant/vigilant and being able to read people's body language and the vibe they give out. The problem is that most girls always get carried away, while putting themselves in a position where they're vulnerable and can be easily overpowered.

Then you have cases of chics who lead guys on, give them blue balls, then around when the guy is in the zone and start saying: no sex. They know they're not interested in having sex from the get-go, but they'd still take off all their clothes, with on their panties on. Not every guy is going accept "no" for an answer, especially when they're in position where it's a tad difficult to maintain self-control. And when you live in a society that doesn't really cater to rape victims, like Nigeria apparently is, then you should always be on your toes at all times and make effective use of ya brain.

Not saying there aren't nutjobs out there who will just body-slam any chic they see on the road and rape her. But cases like these are often rare. However, in most rape cases, the women can always do better.

I am very fine thank you.


To a reasonable extent I may agree with the 1st paragraph but you do get comfortable with someone you never expect to hurt you. What if he doesnt show signs of uneasyness or the girl doesn't catch the vibe like that 18yr old UNILAG aspirant. A more mature lady might have been suspicious when he began to show some signs of restlessness and on guard but she just didnt know.


2nd paragraph- are there ladies that do that? Now about guarding yourself, a lot of ladies will resort to the OP's suggestion. The issue now is parents and guardians are taking measures which may look extreme some years back.

I am spending the weekend with my cousin and his wife told me yesterday while discussing this matter that she can never leave her 15 yr old girl in care of any male except her father not even her own mums brothers and I was like seriously? She made it clear that she does not trust any body with her daughter not even her own brothers.

I used to visit big cousins as a teenager without any fear whatsoever. Everybody is now a "potential rapist "

Little girls are now being told dont go to uncle xyz's room. Its almost a risk to stay in a house alone with a stronger male.

Yesterday I was alone someone who came to do some repairs. I was just unnecessarily at alert just because he was a stronger male.


3rd paragraph - are they really rare? How can they do better. fight harder?, scream harder? break his head....
do what exactly.

dfrost:
Haba yetseyi. Roughen up teenage boys, with little or no respect (some though)? No please . If you were one of the boys, what will you say to me? Busybody right ? I have a code and abide by it. I took it up with the mother to make her see reasons why she should not have laughed over the matter but she waved it, attributing it to boys and girls talk. To her, I had 0 experience in bringing up a child since I had none after all I didn't assist her in pushing the child out during labour. Some mothers believe that since you don't have a child of your own, you should keep your advice to yourself.

I don't have a little sister, but I protect my younger brother up till today as if he's a baby (he's past his teens).

The matter tire person jare... some parents can kill you with the way they handle their ward(s), as if they picked the little one up from the trash .

Loool I didn't mean roughen like beat up, more like threaten or point out its wrong to even insinuate that.

Its just boys and girls talk abi I think I get why you didnt say anything then.

The matter really tire person.