₦airaland Forum

Since 2015..this post is still so valid

Sorry, is this post supporting abortion?

Daboomb:
ASKING QUESTIONS leads to getting FRAMED ANSWERS..... when everyone knows the goal is to make a 'decision" about the relationship!
What you get are outright lies, half-truths and cooked-up stories!

DONT ASK QUESTIONS so you wont be TOLD NO LIES!
I hope we all remember that cliche?

What "l think" you need to do are:
- Be yourself at all times! Let your very 'baddest' and good part show. Just live normally, dont try ot impress your lover.

- Observe and be super observant, taking note of minuet gestures, body language, reactions to events (good and bad),, choice of words in situations, etc
- Be spiritual (meditation,, prayers, etc). These things focus your power of perception. You need to be "perceptive" of your lover, at all times

- Be "extrapolative", that is, be able to stretch events into the future.
Okay, this might be a little hard to explain but l will try.
When something happens, observe how your lover responds or reacts to it (in action or in words)... then imagine say in a few years down the line and yo are married, how will this his/her "genuine reaction" affect your marriage, if and when you get married to him/her?

Exp: Say your girl friend 'disses' he friend because she could not fulfil a situation that her friend is expected to fulfil.
Say she retorts: can you imagine, she is expecting me to loan her my own money, when she never told me how she spends her own money. Now that she is in need she is running to me, abeg, make she swerve.

Most guys will hear the above and just laugh over it and say: Dont mind her, she think say you be mugun!

Now, inside that seemingly harmless or even justifiable statement, is a lot of information that a would-be partner can process!
*What you have is a lady who is uncaring!
*What you have is a lady who is selfish!
*What you have is someone who is self-centred!

Now, if such behaviour is her "norm" and is repeated often, then you can extrapolate it into your marriage and ask yourself, (if you dont already know), How will she behave/react, if l lose my job and does not earn income for a considerable time, being unable to perform my financial responsibility to our marriage?

The answer is in those statements you heard.
*She will Bleep-you up.
*She will remind you it is her money
*She will take control and become the boss, to your resentment.
*She will starve you of funds
*She will tell her friends, how you have become 'useless' and no longer the 'man of the house'
The list goes on.

The thing is, BEHAVIOUR is not a one-day thing, it is ACQUIRED over many, many years and the good part is you cant also CHANGE IT overnight!
So, observing the little nuances of your lover is a good way of ANSWERING all the UNSPOKEN QUESTIONS that you have.

Observe, observe and observe.
But it takes some level of intelligence to be able to interpret what you are observing.
Most of us even observe these things but we cant make any useful deductions from them.

Sitting your Bae or Guy down and asking a long list of questions, is a COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME.
You will be properly lied to.

If you do due-diligence and you are satisfied, then it is worth taking the risk


NB: A female was used as an example in the above scenario, just for ease of explanation but does not imply that such action is restricted to women alone.
There are guys who will do the same thing.

two questions..

1. Are you a marraige counsellor?

2. All these points stated above, did you get them from a research, project or observation?

Toks2008:
5 freaking years after 6 freaking years of courtship just to realize it's a freaking waste of years...

Imagine one cute small boy of 26 wasting 12 faithful years of his life with a lady.
who has no clue of what she wants. Chai!

Now before you say jack people will stant singing...go and marry without knowing what you have passed through.

Wow.. It is well

ImaIma1:
Lolll... my neighbour tried to explain it to me. That as long as Afeez is older than you,you cannot call him by name even when addressing his mum.
I was stunned. What?!

Thats whats up my sis ... thats how we cope

Toks2008:
I have...just browse the pages of this thread.

Toks..honestly your story is so emotional..sorry to ask, you were 'technically married' for how many years
?

Wow keep it coming guys...we are learning

Hmm..very informative thread.. please married folks keep the comments flowing let us learn

I only need to look at your first point which is the most key for me.

Dear OP,

If you marry this guy today, all the points yu pointed out will still come back even stronger. Now weigh your prons and cons.

I believe these are potential issues that will cause fractions in your marriage.

My advise, since we all know he is not gonna change after marriage, cut your losses and let him know your decision. Better still, the ultimate decision lies with you.

fergieboy:
You are the head of the family lol

Divorce him asap... Then take care of the kids alone..

Their is no much difference between you and a single mom

Lol..you go fear divorce..i guess yu are very single ryt

OP..that you have noticed the trend to put it up here alone gives you the red flag...please we dont want to see a similar thread 3 years later saying you are fed up with your marraige because of MIL influence ooo... take heed bro

So when will African Men be ready

Brother.. ITS HER MOTHER ..So dont bother confronting .. Just enjoy the sermon and face your business biko

LordCrimson:
Since you're the first to comment on the dopeness of the song,I ain't clicking that link bro

Hahahaha Odikwa virus

The age you know you can feed yourself

Are you sure that practice still happens in this present day economy cuz i strongly doubt it

Hahaaha..thats funny

mredwifeosband:
lmao.na that one dey pain you.what of big daddy,small mummy,big aunty,small aunty

Nigerian Mentality.

Reminded me of when i first joined this company and the culture was to call people by first name, even the MD/CEO. Omo mehn..it took time for me to adjust ooo but since thats the culture, i eventually adjusted.

In Nigeria, you will hear stuffs like Mama Brother Afeez because Afeez is way your senior and you cant call Mama Afeez to show respect for Afeez...funny Tradition

Eking:
Popular Nigerian Hip-Hop artiste with the name "Oyindamola Johnson Emmanuel", also known as
Dammy Krane alleged credit card fraud on 2nd June, 2017 has raised lot of eye popping reactions from Nigerians home and abroad. According to TripJet, the Faleela crooner booked for private airline with fake credit card. His action was therefore narrowed to a 9 count charge which revolves around grand theft, credit card fraud, intent to defraud, identity fraud, forgery, and conspiracy.
Internet has been fried, diced, roasted and burnt ever since the news broke out. Lot of shady comments have been passed to the music artiste by all and sundry (particularly the EFCC says; 'Ladies and gentlemen, please do NOT mortgage your future in exchange for the transient thrill of ostentatious display. #EmbraceYourTruth) - 99% of such comments revolves around living a FAKE LIFE .
RELATED; 9 Reasons Why Fake Life can Kill you before your Death Day
Be that as it may, Nigerian youths are obliged to learn from this shady act which brought nothing but;
public disgrace to the music crooner
international stain to his career and future
shame to his family name
loss of respect and dignity to a commonsensible being
bad signal to the outter world who strongly believed Nigerians are fraudsters
shame to the generation of up and coming youths
daunting stain on his music career
loss of fans to mention but a few.
All the highlighted points, justified a breach to indigenous Yoruba cultural heritage which preached sternly hardwork, perseverance, patience, moderacy, commitment and other good values you can ever think of.
READ ALSO; Reactions to Okupe's Notion on Why Osinbajo Must not Contest Come 2019
The moral lesson for Nigerian youths today says;
live within your means
do not be covetous
do not live to please anybody
remember to guard and protect your family name (if not yours) at all times
remember the daughter and son of whom you are
remember your cultural values/heritage at all times
Above all, live responsibly.

Spoiler alert

True talk

OP this thread would have made perfect sense had you changed the tone of your question and still relay same message...come to think of it, who in her late years will be ready to give reasons following the direct nature of your thread?

Asimilar thread was created in a blog i enjoy and you have to see Ladies pouring their minds out in all honesty. If you wish www.naijasinglegirl.com

So if you so wish to get the information you require..change the tone of the thread..appeal to.senses and get your required response.

Peace!

Senator Olamilekan Solomon Yayi...nothing to show for...the only news i have heard is that our Lagos Senator is gunning for the Governorship seat in Ogun State

I see you!

Eleyi gidi gan

Eleyi gidi gan!!

Afriglobalmedia:
well, on the order hand, you are building yourself, and equipping your mind for the future. but keep in mind that the more you have less sleeping time, the more it affects your thinking and cognitive pattern gradually. maybe you can take all weekends to sleep and rest longer. and try to increase your daily sleeping time by at least 6 hours.

Thanks for the advise..i will work on it

eleyo gidi gangan

Afriglobalmedia:
4-5 hours is still not enough for you. and dangerous to your health.
Do you have tight schedules during the day?

Yes..after spending more time at work, i get home around 7-8 and i try to read some books till 12. 4;30 is wake up time but i can still doze till 5: 00 am. I leave home 5: 30 max

Charlescobi:
She will use it against you soon
Don't tell all, filter it

This sounds too pessimistic like every woman/girlfriend is a potential traitor.. believe me, there are still the good ones and they are much.

Honestly, Financial issues is the number one cause of divorce..deadly than infidelity.

In this current economy, no Man should form Financial Van Damme. I know it is every man's dream to carry the house 100% but if you know it will become overwhelming and also, the financial pressure will change your attitude and also make you depress when you cant fulfill all, seek your spouse's help.

In those days of financial boom, a man can conveniently carry the House 90% but now, with high inflation and constant income (Meaning present income being cut by more than half in reality), a man should seek help.

Congratulations.

Children are blessing to any Home.

God bless the home.

Sorry, what is joint account for?

Honestly, it makes no sense.