₦airaland Forum

Waiting for Baba and Aisha in this format

OP hasn't talked in the past few hours. I guess the "confrontation" is taking place now
Brownie, my thoughts and prayers are with you this difficult time.

He might be lucky. I won't be surprised. Besides, he sounds sincere.

biaka1994:
Thanks! @least am sure we stil hav reasonable peeps on nairaland. Well I wasn't in a hurry 2 get married but I got preggy n dad wasn't happy abt it and frm wia I cum frm they belief once ur preggy u r married and we ddnt wanna abort d baby so we decided 2 see my family.

Chai! God will see you through my dear.
But you wouldn't have gotten pregnant if you didn't have sex, right?
That's why i say again: Poor choice.

I'm gonna give you my personal example, just to encourage you, even though some aggressive kids here will make noise about it.
This is a post I wrote some weeks back but on another issue:

Zi:
Babymama, lemme talk to you.
I read that thread in awe and fear. Because more or less I was putting myself in the ladies shoes as I read along.

Pls permit me to introduce myself properly, the reason is as you will see below. I am a female, aged 26 plus. I was a top shot as an undergraduate student in Nigeria currently doing my Masters in Power Engineering abroad, I have more than average looks (so you won't say its lack of opportunity) and I have never had sex (in any of its forms) all because I believe in the sanctity of marriage.

A long time ago, I made up my mind sex has to wait for marriage, and blablabla .....

My dear, if anyone is able to keep themselves, (especially because we ladies are mostly at the receiving end of the whole show), but if you keep yourself, trust me, suitors no dey finish.

But all the same, good luck in your all ventures.

biaka1994:
Yea am 21, d age difference btw mi n my hubby is 10yrs, yes we do, we play a lot. Am an under graduate of uniport and I have a biz.

I'm gonna advice you not because you may directly use it, but because someone else might, and someday, you will be able to advice others.

So you got married at 19 or at most 20? Nne, why the rush? I saw your picture before you put it down and you are a pretty girl, very pretty.
You are 21, undergraduate, with a baby and married?
Didn't you have sponsors, parents, family, loved-ones, good advisers or did you get married to unburden your sponsors?
If you ask me, I'd say：Poor choice!
Yea, from your picture, you looked very matured but at 19, you don't know much about what it is being married, you hurried into it. Little wonder you are taking solace in a male relative, and already thinking of "taking a walk".

Anyway, seeing that the deed has been done. My advise for you now is stop begging for it! You are even too young to have yourself being drilled like that? What will you use at 30, 40, 50 With possibility of pushing out more babies before 30? Calm your nerves, I know its not easy because you have the exposure already, but keep talking to yourself. Get busy! with school work, with baby, with business, with family, with your hobbies, with church. Develop yourself. Get busy!

Something else I wanna point out so you will expect it is that: Later on in life, maybe in the next 10, 15 or 20 years, you will still be young and with a lot of urges but hubby may have lost complete and genuine interest in you, not because he doesn't love you anymore, but because you will be too wide, giving him little or no sensations. Its not an excuse for cheating but it may likely happen. So better start sparing yourself some more. Lol

And lastly, disassociate yourself with your hubby's cousin. I hope he doesn't tell him latter on to blackmail you.

A big hug to you and baby!

OP biaka1994

OP, should I decode from your moniker that you are about 21 years old ie born in 1994?
At what age were you married?
What is the age difference between you and your hubby?
I'm guessing it wont be less than 10 years.
Do you have a strong husband-wife relationship with your hubby?
Are you 100% financially dependent on your hubby? Or do you have something doing?
Did you go to school/ do you have a certificate to secure a job?

I need your response before I can give you a valid advice.

BTW, all these kids insulting the OP, its really unfortunate what you have turned this section to. Someone came in here with a problem, true or not, why can't we give a fair chance to all? Why pouring aggression to her? Even if her story is forged, someone else might be learning. Pls let's learn to be civil.

Way to Go!
Nigerians arise!

Donvic4u:
Look gud for Jesus?

smh.....


Uncensored news right from the source Visit www.justgist.net for Latest Happenings around you

SMH too

My ex said its over because I wear trousers (April 2013).
He "cries me a river" now following me up and down on every social media. Lol
All these santimonious attitude wont lead you anywhere.

Self control that the bible talks about is inward control of your emotions and urges not how to control what a woman wears.

BTW, you need to see what I wore to school today.
I look good for Jesus

OP why not try it first, but please start with GNLD coy.

Come back and tell us the outcome, please. We will be glad to know

Lol. Its not so tricky. Return the phone.

If it were tit-for-tat, Jesus wouldn't have died.

hahaha

I don't have any secrets

If you must take pictures, why not that of the elder sister ni? I hope she is not your girlfriend and you are at the background making fun of her with her Repent!

It is also helpful to detoxify our buccal cavity once in a while bu deep rinsing the mouth with conc lemon lukewarm water.

BABE3:
if it's a regular relationship with no kids involved, I'd advice anyone with a cheating partner to leave the relationship.

But if it's a marriage she's still interested in, with kids involved, and he's very remorseful but she still finds it hard to forgive, I'd advise her to cheat back . The idea of "getting even" eases the pain of betrayal, which is better for everyone in the long one.

The problem is, he must never find out she cheated Ever! Coz if he does, the focus will shift from him to her.

My dear, cheating is deriving pleasure from something and you don't want another person to gain the same pleasure because you are selfish. If my husband sleeps with another woman without covering his track, he shouldn't expect me to. That is the REAL cheating!

Once I have a hard core evidence that he is having extra-marital affairs, sorry to say, the marriage becomes open! Pls read my previous posts on this.

Personally, I will never be happy sleeping with another man that is not my husband (so even if I have to use distant big uncles to fake it), the only idea is for him to feel what I feel -Betrayed! And I'm not going to be sneaking around while at it.

CC: Babymama1

Someone said, "if he cheats, you cheat, then both of you are cheats". Lol. Lemme not bother my head with side comments, if you wanna talk to me, quote me.

For now, the lady in question is fast finding out that nobody really cares about her good-wife-ship, no trophy, no freedom, no regard, no respect, not even husband or MIL respects wife's position in the family.

Button line: being good doesn't always pay. We are both cheats, I FULLY accept. Its a rough world dear.

Babymama1:
Biko give no apology for venting
That's what this thread is about
But I wouldn't want you to go into marriage with this mindset of yours I highlighted ,go in with the mind to love and build and cherish .
The best way is to pick the right man prayerfully and open your eyes and weed off some of these men at courtship
That is my primary advise and of course don't marry a man you barely know
Most of what we read here are women trying to fix what they already knew from the onset or those who married men they never courted a while
If your man was running around on you while you dated,he will do same at marriage
If he pushed and shoved you while dating and scared you will yellings
He will beat you black and blue in marriage
That one is a sure banker

If you told me you will send him quicker to his grave if he infected you,I might understand

Thanks dear. I understand the need to go into marriage with the right mindset. But some stories from married people are damn too annoying!

See what Abuja prostitutes look like:
https://www.nairaland.com/2357744/abuja-prostitutes-protest-enough-enough
Do they look any classy, or intelligent? Can't you see how fat and unkempt they are?

And here is a woman that her parents gave their best for, sponsored her education abroad, a foolish cheat sits on it that she will not work! To what end if not for financial dominance She tries to keep fit, reads helpful books, tries to be a good wife and mother, and her husband still cheated on her! I simply don't understand except the lady told us a single story.

andromida:
Who told you he wants you to live for him? What if living for him makes him miserable? Live for yourself.

*Edited
Sorry I quoted you. Just read your post over and decided its not worth haggling with you. Takia.

Babymama, lemme talk to you.

I read that thread in awe and fear. Because more or less I was putting myself in the ladies shoes as I read along.

Pls permit me to introduce myself properly, the reason is as you will see below. I am a female, aged 26 plus. I was a top shot as an undergraduate student in Nigeria currently doing my Masters in Power Engineering abroad, I have more than average looks (so you won't say its lack of opportunity) and I have never had sex (in any of its forms) all because I believe in the sanctity of marriage.

A long time ago, I made up my mind sex has to wait for marriage, but if paraventure I find out my husband is cheating on me, that is the day he declared that marriage an open marriage. Reading that thread, I am consolidating my plan. All I will do is lay in wait and get concrete evidences with dates attached to the clips so he can't deny he didn't open that door. We will both be passing through it freely.

Yes, I'm not holding back virginity to impress him or anybody for that matter, I simply want to obey God. But he, (my husband), has to respect that decision. If he decides to cheat, hehehe, I will show him that what is good for the geese is also good for the gander. Period!

See, I'm not ready to leave my marriage for anyone, kpatakpata he will be the one to run not me. I'm not ready for any drama or tears or sucide episodes etc. We will simply drift into open marriage and I will really make up for all my long wait.

I have started preparing myself for whatever dieases we both have to share and die in. You can't cheat on me and still put me in emotional trauma, mbanu!

All in all, I pray God to give me a man that values marriage and is ready to keep his vows till death do us part. He will be the happiest man on earth because I'm gonna live for him.

Sorry if my post offends you, just venting.

15th May? OP, Why did it take so long create a thread ?

I pray for her safe and sound return. Amen!

Love his dimples and smiles.

"Freshed-up" family. His wife looks older than him shaa even though its not my business

Dota's nose like Go_TV mast .

All in all #Godwin

Reading this post, actually I'm worried about the relationship I'm in currently
God please help your children.

And some vgs are looking for worthy husbands, who are crazy about them. Life sha

College Nursery and Primary - Skills for Self Reliance.

Solarenergy13:
Are u ok wit this

God bless your hustle bro

I'm in that dilemma now. My best friend is 2 and half years younger than me. We've been good for about 3 years now. He doesn't mind at all, in fact, he is the one pushing more for it. He says things like, "l have more experience when it comes to relationships", "I will buy age in the market if it will make you happy" etc.

He is really a great guy but I really want an older man because 1) I'm bigger than him physically. 2) Sometimes I see his actions or decisions childish, I can't wave the age thing past my mind. 3) ...

I don't really know what to do as I don't love the other options as much or say I'm not as close to the other options as I'm close to him. I will leave the future to decide.

*Pls remove the term world-class from your topic.

Agbala in Igbo.

Rubbing red oil stops the itch.

ferhyntorlah:
Why don't you go to his twitter page and air your view there?

No baby, I read the news on Nairaland not on Twitter.