Yomieluv: owfar na,my e-friend..anytin 4 bois?

Hmmm...
Are u gona behave? Ur fingers bin itchy lately.

Jambsupport: finish d tory. like say u no nack am JT dat day

me i no dey do my street,or local package...all my babes na imported,and dem stand gidigba..

Idowuogbo:
Hmmm...
Are u gona behave? Ur fingers bin itchy lately.

we fit relate outside nairaland?asin make we hook up na...u game?

ifihearam: Will never forget this occasion in my secondary school days,I was in SS1 and I she was a JSS2. I really had a crush on this pretty innocent looking girl. It was the norm in my school to flog all late comers and that fateful day me and my babe(for my mind ooooo)came late and the teacher decided to give each and everyone of us 6 strokes each. I smartly stepped forward and received mine,it was painful but I acted like it wasn't,when it got to the turn of this lil babe I had the biggest crush on,she started crying because according to her she wasn't feeling too well so I bounced back like superman to receive her portion for her.


Omo the teacher increased the tempo of the flogging this time because i withstood the former,when I bore it to the 4th stroke,I broke down in tears rubbing my bum bum,feelin if my skin peeled. The most annoying thing is,the babe I was forming superman for started laughing her useless arse off alongside with all on the assembly ground. I regretted ever playing superman role and from that day my name changed to breaking down superman.

lol`...dude u almost killd me ...na true love b dat!!

Yomieluv: we fit relate outside nairaland?asin make we hook up na...u game?

Hook up? Wia we dey go? And y we hooking up? U wan take me shopping ni?

ifihearam: Will never forget this occasion in my secondary school days,I was in SS1 and I she was a JSS2. I really had a crush on this pretty innocent looking girl. It was the norm in my school to flog all late comers and that fateful day me and my babe(for my mind ooooo)came late and the teacher decided to give each and everyone of us 6 strokes each. I smartly stepped forward and received mine,it was painful but I acted like it wasn't,when it got to the turn of this lil babe I had the biggest crush on,she started crying because according to her she wasn't feeling too well so I bounced back like superman to receive her portion for her.


Omo the teacher increased the tempo of the flogging this time because i withstood the former,when I bore it to the 4th stroke,I broke down in tears rubbing my bum bum,feelin if my skin peeled. The most annoying thing is,the babe I was forming superman for started laughing her useless arse off alongside with all on the assembly ground. I regretted ever playing superman role and from that day my name changed to breaking down superman.

lol`...dude u almost killd me ...na true love b dat!!

Yomieluv: me i no dey do my street,or local package...all my babes na imported,and dem stand gidigba..

i laugh in chinese. now u dey hia dey form 007. na ur type go stand b4 babe dey say i like ur eyes, do you use eye pencil, i like ur legs, what soap do u use lmao

Idowuogbo:
Hook up? Wia we dey go? And y we hooking up? U wan take me shopping ni?

shopping ke?nooo,na iya basira alamala ur type dey go na....*joking*.

Jambsupport: i laugh in chinese. now u dey hia dey form 007. na ur type go stand b4 babe dey say i like ur eyes, do you use eye pencil, i like ur legs, what soap do u use lmao

me na actor for toasting babe na.i fit teach u sef,na like dis i dey toast"if i no like u,make thunda fire me"i like u pass my mama"na my papa get national theatre"if u date me,i go take u sight seeing on 3rd mainland bridge..i try?

Yomieluv: shopping ke?nooo,na iya basira alamala ur type dey go na....*joking*.

I no deny! Buka food na hin sure pass.

Idowuogbo:
I no deny! Buka food na hin sure pass.

if u chicken,and chips,u no go vomit?butter no be monkey food o.

Yomieluv: me na actor for toasting babe na.i fit teach u sef,na like dis i dey toast"if i no like u,make thunda fire me"i like u pass my mama"na my papa get national theatre"if u date me,i go take u sight seeing on 3rd mainland bridge..i try?

lmao no wonda ur babes get standard dey shud be below 16yrs

Yomieluv: if u chicken,and chips,u no go vomit?butter no be monkey food o.

If u chop solid, convulsion dey do u?

Yomieluv: if u chicken,and chips,u no go vomit?butter no be monkey food o.

u dey find my mama 4 area wahala. u go burn o.

Jambsupport: u dey find my mama 4 area wahala. u go burn o.

TAaaa,make i hear word..abeg carry go...

#same old thready smell.chai

INNO18: guy, na wa for u ooo, your's is the worst blunder i've read so far. You mean you have no control over your bone?

An erect di*k has no brain...

Too many....

1. Ok, I threw up on a girl once (was very drunk)

dabrake: was in a football match and there was this girl I had a crush on And unfortunately, she happened to watch this match with a couple of girls, . . . I had the ball passed to me and I was near where she sat so in a bid to impress her, i decided to do this "show me your number" skill.
Unfortunately, I haven't perfected it well so, as I did it, I had completed the first half of the movement. Unto the second half, I stepped on the ball and it dragged my leg to the other extreme, leaving my 2 legs far apart.
I would have loved it that way but It didn't end. My short made that loud "kprrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaa" sound . . . It got torn and my JT was exposing. Na the girls even first me notice am.
Omo, i run comot field oh

am sure she has been tracking ur JT

we were in a party..nd d ground was really hot..nd one girl was jus standing at the corner doing notin.staring i guess..forming celeb.i jus walked up 2 her nd said,i kwn am nt dat cute,but as you can see am the only one taking to you..

its painful when someone misinterprete ur words,.there is this gal i use to kwn back then in mi secondary school..the gal is naturally endowed..D cupped boobs,her hips is perfectly curved,wit a rounded ass,.d fastest way to delete your name from the book of liFE is by mere luking at her.bt as a new comer,i didn't know she was a no go area.a deeper life gal.a sure bet on ruining your party is by inviting atleast 2 deeper life girls..do you KWN first word i said to this girl wen i meet her for the first time?
IF I SAY YOU HAD A NICE AND SEXY BODY,WILL YOU HOLD IT AGAINST ME Nd she misread it with a big slap

zobasky24k: we were in a party..nd d ground was really hot..nd one girl was jus standing at the corner doing notin.staring i guess..forming celeb.i jus walked up 2 her nd said,i kwn am nt dat cute,but as you can see am the only one taking to you..

That wasn't embarassing,it was nasty. I'm sure she felt somehow

we went 4 pre-wedding/marriage counselling, and u know, after d counselling,, there would be prayers, so we prayed, by d time i'd stand up, i was already stained with menses blood, i dd't how it happened, because had my pad on, though it was with my proposed hubby and our counsellor, i felt so ashamed, as if d ground shd swalloow me.

Things dey happen me i get anyone sha

Loadz of em but one I can say now is..There was this Chikala I wanted but instead of saying my mind I asked her class,found out she was my Snr.She asked me why I was asking.Omo silent tins..

illitrate: she was only giving me her number when i had a very hard er ection and she noticed it.

guy no be small gbege ooo . Its as heppened to me me as well

My "Agama" started blowing catarhh when it entered an unfamiliar cave...

Was chatn wit my babe (nw ex) while strolling, den met dis oda fmale frnd, den wantd 2 tel ha dat am coming bk n same time talking 2 my babe. Mistakenly i said "Am CAMING bk". My babe lwd. Lol

I once barged into the female rest room, at Sharon Ultimate Hotel, Abuja. It was as if my bladder would burst, so i didn't have the time to look at the tag on the door. I was so embarrassed on seeing 2 girls who were inside there only on their pants, that i had to rush out even before offering any apology.

illitrate: she was only giving me her number when i had a very hard er ection and she noticed it.

guy no be small gbege ooo . Its as heppened to me me as well

greatgod2012: we went 4 pre-wedding/marriage counselling, and u know, after d counselling,, there would be prayers, so we prayed, by d time i'd stand up, i was already stained with menses blood, i dd't how it happened, because had my pad on, though it was with my proposed hubby and our counsellor, i felt so ashamed, as if d ground shd swalloow me.

dat means u used china pad

Sunebanty: There was dis day(arnd 8pm) i went wit a friend to see her gal,we were outside her compound wit my guy chating wit her gal and i was standing alone just pressing my phone to keep me busy,then i noticed a gal moving to my direction and on getting to me she pressed a button on her phone and directed her phone to my face(just to see my face clearly)and she said oh!am sorry u resembled a friend of mine and she asked my name(bt i knew her cos she is a dancer so av met her in many places,she appeared fit cos she is also into sport)and we later exchange digits dat night and she said i should try to call and i told her i will.i later called her dat night and after some talks she started talking abt sex on phone(my dis thing don raise to full attention)she later said she will visit me d other day and that if she handle me on bed i will run,c'mon u no fit that was wot i told her that night.the following day she came and she goin to pass the night with me.arnd 11pm we were abt to start and i take a condom trying to insert it bt she refused saying she dn't like using it bt i later convinced her and i finally inserted it and as i entered her like 10seconds later, i don precipitate(wetin dy happen,i asked myself as i inserted anoda condom)d same thing happened till the third time wen my dick refused to raise again,she tried using her hand and everytin she could do to make it raise bt it do nt raise again(cum see me see yabbing dat night)GUY ANY GAL WEY SEE YOUR BROAD CHEST LIKE DIS WILL BE AFRAID TO BE INTIMATE WIT U NT KNOWING DAT NA ONLY MOUTH U GET,d one wey she said wey pain me most na GUY U AV A PROBLEM O,AND U HAD BETTER TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FAST,for dat night e be like say make i see one thing wey go raise my dick make i use am wound her cos d tin pain me o,i cum dy think say wetin fit cause all dis mess as we cum sleep,i tried early in the mornin again and i precipitate fast again and she started saying,abeg leave me make u go take care of yourself,she just dy mock me,d thing wey pain me most be say since then i neva get her time to invite her wey i for show her my real colour.

Same sh1t happened 2 me, wz @ work wen dis bustylicious babe jst stared @ me till my JT wz @ attentn, got digits n all 2 raise a quick rendezvous later @ nyte bt d same JT wey impress d babe @work failed me @nyte 3times. I wz betrayed by my JT thrice b4 d cock crowed n I neva got anoda chance @ does assets.

A̶̲̥̅̊¿¿ i culd say was 'what time is your time?'