Typical

carefreewannabe:

He can't have me and YET he wants to buy me anything he can afford and I desire. I told him HE CAN'T HAVE ME. That's the crazy part of it.

Are you attached to a god in your village? Or is there a curse on your family? Which one be he can't have you? Or..*whispers*are you a lesbo?

See me dey here dey wait make my best friend come toast me, you dey dull yourself for there. I haven't heard of a marriage built on friendship that crashed, cos you guys know evertything bout each other so no one can breed distrust in that union.

Love can grow with time, though you may never see him in a romantic way, he decided to take a chance. Give the guy some credit and at least try out whatever he's offering, if you don't like it or you're uncomfortable...say so and end it, no be all this he can't have me gist

carefreewannabe: I used to have a very good friend. I'm saying used to because I can't be friends with him after the story I'm about to tell you.
Well, we have known each other ever since we were teenagers. We were really good friends. There was NEVER anything sexual between the two of us. Absolutely nothing.
I was there for him when his first love cheated on him, he was there for me after my last heartbreak. We sometimes went clubbing together or even shopping, had lunch together, stuff that friends do. And there was absolutely nothing we couldn't talk about with each other.
We didn'T see each other much in the last years because we moved to different cities. He recently took over his dad's company. His family has quite a lot of money.
He texted me recently telling me that I'm more to him that just a friend and always have been.
I told him that I felt flattered but that unfortunately this feeling wasn't mutual.
He said that he was aware of it and that he knows that he never can have me but that he wants to make me happy in any way possible.
I said I would be happy if we just remained friends because I really apprciate this f.riendship.
He went on saying that he wants to spend on me AND that he doesn't expect ANYTHING in return, no sex, nothing.
I told him that I couldn't do it and that I'd feel like using him. HE couldn't understand and was sort of disappointed.
That was the end of the discussion.

Two days later: I returned home from work and received a package and flowers. The package was filled with clothes. Really nice clothes. I want to return these things because I don't have a good feeling about this whole thing. It's just crazy. And I don't understand it because there are so many girls out there who would be willing to accept it. Smart, intelligent, good-looking girls. I don't consider myself so special. So, why me?

Anyway, I was thinking if I shoud post this story here but I have the need to do so because I want to hear people's opinions.

Why would a guy do this?
And ladies would you accept this offer?

ma dear i've seen dumb people......but it seems u̶̲̥̅̊ no top d list....here is a friend wu loves and cares for u̶̲̥̅̊.....wu will treat better than most guys out thr would and u̶̲̥̅̊ are here blabbing...don't worry kip wasting ur tym....ur mates will get married u̶̲̥̅̊'ll b here looking for answers....i just find it hard to comprehend most girls....u̶̲̥̅̊ guys can b really confusing

@carefree

I blve after knowing this guy for so long and reading how u feel about him u should politely return his gifts, do not accept them. The only reason to accept them is if he has been so generous previously. If however this level of generousity started after he professed his intent 2 take the friendship a step further, do not accept them.

U have known him 4 a long time and if after so long and all the things u guys have done together as freinds u r not in the least attracted to him, then it is pointless marrying him.

He seems quite keen so be careful not to do anything to lead him on, just be courteous so that the freindship is not destroyed.

Idowuogbo:
Boring...azz wipe!

Ogbeni this one nor boring o...
Im dey skul you for your own fúckíng game!
You have met your superior
So you can be cut to size like this?
@topic, e get as this your story b o.... E too dey one kain one kain jare.

OP you sound to me like you don't even like this your friend at all.
See how you are already referring to him as "used to be friends" simply because he bought you stuffs, hmm.
Are you sure this is someone you've been friends with from way back?
Well I understand as a woman, that we have male friends that we don't have such feelings for but I wouldn't ex my friend because he wants me, especially not a long term friend.
I suggest you have a heart to heart talk with him like you've already been told and be meticulous about the gifts.
In all, don't lose a good friend because he loves you, that would be very foolish.

Jesus Christ. . .
I don't normally get myself involve in anything on this site because of so. . .
many b**sh** i always come across. . from the annoying 'first to comment' idiots to the tribal rubbist e.t.c
A girl CLEARLY stated that SHE HAS NO feeling for this guy because of her own reason unknown to most of you YET!
some of you were asking her why? why not give him a chance? he's very nice? don't miss this opportunity? and more bs like that.
Damn! who are you guys? daft? cretin? are you the ones that would be stuck in an unhappy relationship at the end of the day?
Does anyone understand that you can like someone but NEVER EVER love them?
Some even said she is possessed or attached to some gods, some said shes dumb, what an idiotic statement!!

Girl. . listen to me
Do not marry or date anyone out of pity
If you don't love him, you don't love him and thats it.
AT the end of the day, its all about you and none of these half-witted hypocritical schmucks with single digit IQ would live with you
if you go ahead and end up being frustrated.
A word is enough for the ?

Stupi.d Matchmakers!

carefreewannabe:

He can't have me and YET he wants to buy me anything he can afford and I desire. I told him HE CAN'T HAVE ME. That's the crazy part of it.

I really think you may be making a big mistake here. Sometimes we want the ones that are bad for us and ignore the ones that are good for us.

Now, I don't know your friend but if he is good enough to tell your secrets to, values you enough not to ask for sex and is ready to dote on you, you might want to think long and hard about it. At the back of your mind, you are beginning to accept it, you just want validation- we are saying : "open your eyes and other senses".

Fairy tale love rarely exists in reality O. Your best friend is a great candidate to marry unless you don't know what the word "friend" means.

@Carefree,

I feel you. I had an experience with a fine girl like that. A work colleague. I took her like a sister and always told her my mind. Things like what girls do wrong when chosing a man. I never knew that she had gone through many of those things (I later found out from someone).
I didn't know she was in love. She couldn't conceal it anymore and began to declare it in proverbs, suddenly bringing food for me, giving me undue attention, staying behind after her shift finished, looking unhappy when I was chatting with other girls at work.
A colleague asked me "boy, when are you marrying this girl?" I was shocked. The colleague told me the girl had confessed to another colleague that she was in love.

Here was the problem. I actually had a crush on her sister who sometimes came to see visit her at work! She on the other hand never attracted me. When her food and attention became too much, I called her and said that she's the most wonderful girl BUT I wouldn't want to start something I cannot finish and it would be unfair to use her.
She was not herself for several weeks. She looked sick and seemed to lose weight.

I got another job a few months later. I never saw her and her sister again.

GURL, If you don't have any feelings for him, don't even start it.

Remmyy: Jesus Christ. . .
I don't normally get myself involve in anything on this site because of so. . .
many b**sh** i always come across. . from the annoying 'first to comment' idiots to the tribal rubbist e.t.c
A girl CLEARLY stated that SHE HAS NO feeling for this guy because of her own reason unknown to most of you YET!
some of you were asking her why? why not give him a chance? he's very nice? don't miss this opportunity? and more bs like that.
Damn! who are you guys? daft? cretin? are you the ones that would be stuck in an unhappy relationship at the end of the day?
Does anyone understand that you can like someone but NEVER EVER love them?
Some even said she is possessed or attached to some gods, some said shes dumb, what an idiotic statement!!

Girl. . listen to me
Do not marry or date anyone out of pity
If you don't love him, you don't love him and thats it.
AT the end of the day, its all about you and none of this half-witted hypocritical schmucks with single digit IQ would live with you
if you go ahead and end up being frustrated.
A word is enough for the ?

Stupi.d Matchmakers!

It is better to marry the one that loves you more than the one you love more. The former is going to endure a lot of things for your sake, the latter might not.

You have spoken intelligently but lack wisdom.

OP, the Prince Charming you are looking for might end up treating you like garbage, don't be fooled.

freecocoa: OP you sound to me like you don't even like this your friend at all.
See how you are already referring to him as "used to be friends" simply because he bought you stuffs, hmm.
Are you sure this is someone you've been friends with from way back?
Well I understand as a woman, that we have male friends that we don't have such feelings for but I wouldn't ex my friend because he wants me, especially not a long term friend.
I suggest you have a heart to heart talk with him like you've already been told and be meticulous about the gifts.
In all, don't lose a good friend because he loves you, that would be very foolish.

i wonder too

my candid opinion. Do what makes you feel happy.

Sodiq33: Sumthng is reali wrng wt u

i swear op dey form joor. Sumtin wey 98% of 9ja Galz Go Grab wit both hands.. Carefreewanabi abi mtsheew

Well, I'm back home and I feel very tired. It's been a long day and I'll respond to you ALL tomorrow if I manage.
I want to thank you for your responses, though. Even those of you who insulted me. I take the blows.

For now, I just want to tell you that not everything in life is either black or white.
Just because I don't want to be together with THIS GUY doesn't mean that my ONLY ALTERNATIVE IS A BAD GUY.
Apart from this, you people assume that marriage is such a great achievement. Marriage can be hell, so I don't rush and take the first opportunity that crosses my way.

For the male people who advised me to MARRY this guy EVEN THOUGH the guy DIDN'T EVEN MENTION MARRIAGE WITH ONE WORD.
Would you marry a girl JSUT BECAUSE SHE LOVES YOU AND IS A GOOD HOUSEKEEPER? How many of you have already broken a GOOD girl's heart INSTEAD OF marrying her?

I'm not going to marry the guy YOU tell me to marry. It's my choice so there is no need for hard feelings and "names".
It's even my choice if I marry at all.

I don't choose your life partner, so express your opinion BUT remember that I'm a free person and that it's not your job to PUSH ME!

Good Night my fellow nlanders!

Booty4me: i swear op dey form joor. Sumtin wey 98% of 9ja Galz Go Grab wit both hands.. Carefreewanabi abi mtsheew

I'm the 2 %

Remmyy:

Girl. . listen to me
Do not marry or date anyone out of pity
If you don't love him, you don't love him and thats it.
AT the end of the day, its all about you and none of these half-witted hypocritical schmucks with single digit IQ would live with you
if you go ahead and end up being frustrated.
A word is enough for the ?

Stupi.d Matchmakers!

Excuse me please, I'm not in support of anyone marrying out of pity but your statement of "if you don't love him, you don't love him and that's it" caught my eyes.
How do you actually think love happens? Actually, it happens differently for different people but one thing I know is that love grows or fades over time, there's no absolute when it comes to love. She could grow to love him or not so don't make it sound like its a hopeless case.
I've seen cases where people who seemed like they never even liked each other ended up falling passionately in love and that of friends finding solace in each other's arm, another thing about love is that you have to open up your heart to make it happen, she could atleast keep an open mind not just write him off because he showed interest in her.

freecocoa: Excuse me please, I'm not in support of anyone marrying out of pity but your statement of "if you don't love him, you don't love him and that's it" caught my eyes.
How do you actually think love happens? Actually, it happens differently for different people but one thing I know is that love grows or fades over time, there's no absolute when it comes to love. She could grow to love him or not so don't make it sound like its a hopeless case.
I've seen cases where people who seemed like they never even liked each other ended up falling passionately in love and that of friends finding solace in each other's arm, another thing about love is that you have to open up your heart to make it happen, she could atleast keep an open mind not just write him off because he showed interest in her.

I HAVE KNOWN HIM FOR MANY YEARS AND HAVEN'T FALLEN IN LOVE!

good night

carefreewannabe: Never mind!

I am not going to marry someone because of money. Am not a prostitute. And there is no need for me to become one.
I prefer to remain single for life than to marry someone I don't want to sleep next to.

Thanks for your your opinion, though.

....if u already made up ur mind den y post here? I tot u needed advice

marabout: @Carefree,

I feel you. I had an experience with a fine girl like that. A work colleague. I took her like a sister and always told her my mind. Things like what girls do wrong when chosing a man. I never knew that she had gone through many of those things (I later found out from someone).
I didn't know she was in love. She couldn't conceal it anymore and began to declare it in proverbs, suddenly bringing food for me, giving me undue attention, staying behind after her shift finished, looking unhappy when I was chatting with other girls at work.
A colleague asked me "boy, when are you marrying this girl?" I was shocked. The colleague told me the girl had confessed to another colleague that she was in love.

Here was the problem. I actually had a crush on her sister who sometimes came to see visit her at work! She on the other hand never attracted me. When her food and attention became too much, I called her and said that she's the most wonderful girl BUT I wouldn't want to start something I cannot finish and it would be unfair to use her.
She was not herself for several weeks. She looked sick and seemed to lose weight.

I got another job a few months later. I never saw her and her sister again.

GURL, If you don't have any feelings for him, don't even start it.

thanks for your understanding.

Okworigeorge: ....if u already made up ur mind den y post here? I tot u needed advice

Check my initial post and you'll see that I asked for something else.
First of all, if you guys can imagine that a guy can do all this for a girl without expecting her to give him something in return.
Secondly, if ladies would accept all the gifts if they were in my position.

My questions have been answered.
You guys answered the first question with NO.
And the second question with yes and no.
Thank you.

I didn't ask anyone to tell me what to do with my life and if I should marry him. Apart from this, he didn't even mention marriage.

carefreewannabe:

I HAVE KNOWN HIM FOR MANY YEARS AND HAVEN'T FALLEN IN LOVE!

good night

No be quarrel o, anyways its your call woman.
I'm even wondering why you opened this thread with the way you are sounding, good night your own kwa, le kwa nu ifeanyi o

Remmyy: Jesus Christ. . .
I don't normally get myself involve in anything on this site because of so. . .
many b**sh** i always come across. . from the annoying 'first to comment' idiots to the tribal rubbist e.t.c
A girl CLEARLY stated that SHE HAS NO feeling for this guy because of her own reason unknown to most of you YET!
some of you were asking her why? why not give him a chance? he's very nice? don't miss this opportunity? and more bs like that.
Damn! who are you guys? daft? cretin? are you the ones that would be stuck in an unhappy relationship at the end of the day?
Does anyone understand that you can like someone but NEVER EVER love them?
Some even said she is possessed or attached to some gods, some said shes dumb, what an idiotic statement!!

Girl. . listen to me
Do not marry or date anyone out of pity
If you don't love him, you don't love him and thats it.
AT the end of the day, its all about you and none of these half-witted hypocritical schmucks with single digit IQ would live with you
if you go ahead and end up being frustrated.
A word is enough for the ?

Stupi.d Matchmakers!

....SLOW DOWN

holusormi:

hahagafs,i laff in Android.........all i can do is just smh for u, your deliverance don enter one chance,,, no redemption in sight for u,,,...dat sperrmm that formed u should have been boiled in hot acid, at least the world would have been rid of one less idiat........

lol guy u get bad mouth oh but u de sound like person wey him gf don chop maga b4

freecocoa: No be quarrel o, anyways its your call woman.
I'm even wondering why you opened this thread with the way you are sounding, good night your own kwa, le kwa nu ifeanyi o

my point exactly

carefreewannabe: And there is no need for me to become one.
I prefer to remain single for life than to marry someone I don't want to sleep next to.

Thanks for your your opinion, though.

....if u already made up ur mind den y post here? I tot u needed advice

carefreewannabe:

Well, he is not my type but other ladies like him. He doesn't lack chances. And he has had many attractive girlfriends.
So it's in the eye of the beholder.

You have to open your mind, dear. Do not say he's not your type. Read some good books on marriage. And really you need to pray about it (so you don’t reject or miss your very own!)

I think (my opinion) it's better to marry your friend, someone who knows you, who understands you, someone who knows some part of your yesterday.
I married my friend. In those days when we were just friends, she saw my lowest points, failures and also some few victories. Initially I never had any feelings for her. I remembered telling her in strong terms not to look to my side for marriage. But little did I know she was around for a purpose. And at the fullness of time, we got married! But the interesting thing is that the story of my yesterday (when we were only friends) has strengthened our marriage today, even during trials. Sometimes she wakes me up at night and call up one event of yesterday and we'll cry and also laugh and praise God together for every second chance, grace and restoration. And we feel strong in Faith to move on!
Sometimes we may not know why a friend has remained there all the while. Just free yourself first! And think about it. Then PRAY about it.

Okworigeorge: my point exactly ....if u already made up ur mind den y post here? I tot u needed advice

Abeg help me ask the chic, na you ask question, na you dey vex for answer.....if na so she dey provoke for real life I salute this friend of hers, e no easy

If I'm nt sure of any other relationship,I'm pretty sure,he likes you as a person...most gals dnt get this,if he's been your friend and you guyz have been open to each other,it's even so much better,friendship creates a stronger relationship....i dnt kno why you dnt wanna,but i'll go for it,if i liked him in such manner,he's obviously a keeper.

Its quite obvious you have a low self esteem of yourself. Why do you feel there are other ladies out there that ar better for him? what is wrong withe someome, you call a friend spoiling you.
Are u sure there something u ar not sayin?
U mentioned he's from a rich family, are u scared u ll not be accepted.

u don make up ur mind kan dey ask question, u dey crase o. or maybe na mad, i no even know. return the gift for ol boy make hin keep am till valentine for another chikala na. if u don turn 35 no kan open another thread o

marabout: @Carefree,

I feel you. I had an experience with a fine girl like that. A work colleague. I took her like a sister and always told her my mind. Things like what girls do wrong when chosing a man. I never knew that she had gone through many of those things (I later found out from someone).
I didn't know she was in love. She couldn't conceal it anymore and began to declare it in proverbs, suddenly bringing food for me, giving me undue attention, staying behind after her shift finished, looking unhappy when I was chatting with other girls at work.
A colleague asked me "boy, when are you marrying this girl?" I was shocked. The colleague told me the girl had confessed to another colleague that she was in love.

Here was the problem. I actually had a crush on her sister who sometimes came to see visit her at work! She on the other hand never attracted me. When her food and attention became too much, I called her and said that she's the most wonderful girl BUT I wouldn't want to start something I cannot finish and it would be unfair to use her.
She was not herself for several weeks. She looked sick and seemed to lose weight.

I got another job a few months later. I never saw her and her sister again.

GURL, If you don't have any feelings for him, don't even start it.

carefree, the guy above said my mind.lemme tell you my story.i wanted to post it in my diary before opening it as a thread but i just have type it now so that maybe you can learn from me.

during my 100 level, i had this girl who i can authoritatevely say is one of the best girls i will ever meet in my life.she was my best friend.i share things i couldn't share with my roomate/friends with her.she knew almost everything about me.she was my sister,best friend,niece and everything i could ask for in a friend.

Everything went on smoothly till the day she told my room mate to tell me that she has fallen in love with me.when he did tell me what she said, i couldn't believe.i told myself it must be a joke cos' I TOOK HER AS MY BEST FEMALE FRIEND AND DON'T HAVE ANY ROMANTIC FEELINGS FOR HER

After many weeks, she finally summoned up courage to tell me what she feels for me and for like a week, i was weak and sad cos i didn't know how to tell her NO.i had to leave for my family house cos' i wanted to dodge her and maybe by so doing make her forget about the feelings she had for me.how wrong i was!!

To cut the story short, i went ahead to date her out of pity and till today, it remains one of the worst relationship mistakes i ever made.the relationship lasted for a month.to kiss her was a hell of a job for me.even if she stood stark näked in my front, a single hair in my body couldn't twitch.at the end, i lost her.i lost a great friend cos' i couldn't be bold to tell her NO that it can't work between us.

All am trying to say to you is that, if you can learn to love this guy as time goes on, then you should do so but PLEASE if you know it will NEVER EVER WORK OUT between you two, dont lead him on or trust me, you will loose him forever

my 2cents...wish you the best