ileobatojo:

No o! Even if he sent her roses in advance with a note that said, "come to my hotel room so we can f*#@", she should still not be quiet jare. The more these lying, deceptive pastors are exposed, the better; whatever the form of their deceit.

STFU I meant was she should stop (indirectly) playing the victim.

coogar:

exactly what i thought.....
unless this girl is the most stüpid adult female in nigeria, she has no moral justification to speak out. was she drugged? was she forced at gunpoint? she went back there 7 times claiming she might have been in a trance. if it was a local old spiritual pastor of cherubim & seraphim at bar beach that asked her to see him, would she have opened her legs?

ese walters is a pröstitute!

Consensual sex is not rape. She not only did it once but 7 times. She must be very stoopid. Having sex with your "pastor" and your conscience or bible for once never told you that you are fornicating with a man of god? A married one at that.....she must be m@d.

The man is cute, she wanted to fark a cutie and her wish was granted by the devil. Make I hiaa word jo

Both Ese Walter and Pastor Fatoyinbo have some blame in this.

For starters, consentual sex between adults can never and will never be abuse. She may claim to have been psychologically and emotionally coerced into the affair by virtue of the Pastor's standing, but I think that is rubbish. even as a very young teenager, I recieved sexual advances from people I considered influential but that fact did not make me cave in. Even a tern year old knows the difference between right and wrong, how much more a grown woman like Miss. Walter.

The fact that she owns a blog makes me wonder if this isn't some cheap publicity stunt aimed at driving traffic to her blog.

I also wonder what she aims to gain by going public with this story. Remorse and repentance are very private affairs. If she is sorry, she should be asking God for forgiveness discreetly. Jesus was a strong advocate of being sincere by doing things in private and not judging others. the pastor is probably guilty but she should be more interested in making aamends with God, and leave the pastor to face God's judgement.

The pastor on the other hand is supposed to be a moral beacon, and set good examples. the fact that he has neither affirmed nor debunked these accusations make me want to believe he is guilty. Still, we are all human, pastors inluded and we all err, but refusing to tackle this matter head on by not admitting guilt and apologising will only make the sore fester, and take away what little moral standing he has.

I think he is lucky he can hide behind the average Nigerian's penchant for pastor worship instead of God worship.

What's done is done. Accept guilt if you are guilty, apologise and move on. It is hard, but it is sincere and will earn you respect.

Audrey I: Both Ese Walter and Pastor Fatoyinbo have some blame in this.

For starters, consentual sex between adults can never and will never be abuse. She may claim to have been psychologically and emotionally coerced into the affair by virtue of the Pastor's standing, but I think that is rubbish. even as a very young teenager, I recieved sexual advances from people I considered influential but that fact did not make me cave in. Even a tern year old knows the difference between right and wrong, how much more a grown woman like Miss. Walter.

This is the part that is debatable.
Walking away from the Pastor or staying to do the deed does not mean you are not a victim of manipulation.
What you can question is her moral standing which she herself mentioned is not so great.

Ujujoan: I have been in that girl's shoes and I completely understand why she feels like a victim here. You guys can defend the Pastor all you want but the truth is that he used undue influence to decieve the young girl into having and affair with him. That's just wrong!

In my case I was able to say NO because he was a Priest, not sure how I would have reacted if he was just a Pastor. Priests are celebate and at that point, I thought I was better off taking my chances out cold in the middle of the night than sleeping with a Priest. That to me was a permanent condemnation for life, a sin I wasn't ready to risk confessing to another preist!

What got me in that position in the first place? TRUST! That trust was betrayed both by my Priest and by the COZA pastor and even though I didn't give in, I still feeel like a victim. I had a terrible experience that night, one I wish I could be as bold as Ese to tell!

So go ahead, call her a slut, a desperado, a bla bla bla . . . . All I see is a strong girl trying to right a wrong! she didn't have to do this, she took a big risk by coming out and for that alone, she's a hero in my books!

so TRUST could have led you to a priest, sleep with him and then go back to him for 6 consecutive days? i am starting to think majority of the nigerian women have cotton wool where their brains should be.

there's no trust i can have for any female in authority that would make me sleep with her. we are talking about a fully-grown adult here not a prepubescent female. how can someone be tranced for 7 days? tranced & she found her way home & back to the pastor's hotel room for 6 days??

jennykadry:
Consensual sex is not rape. She not only did it once but 7 times. She must be very stoopid. Having sex with your "pastor" and your conscience or bible for once never told you that you are fornicating with a man of god? A married one at that.....she must be m@d.

The man is cute, she wanted to fark a cutie and her wish was granted by the devil. Make I hiaa word jo

i am glad there are women like you on this forum.
even a child of 15 would have refused the pastor's offer to kiss and sit on his lap. where was it written in her bible that she can kiss her pastor & sit on his lap.

even if we agree she was brainwashed or tranced the first day, what about the 6 days that followed? a woman could get carried away one time - but 7 times? jeeeeez, ese should be arrested for having criminal conversations with a married man & claiming to have slept with him.

aysometin:

This is the part that is debatable.
Walking away from the Pastor or staying to do the deed does not mean you are not a victim of manipulation.
What you can question is her moral standing which she herself mentioned is not so great.

Theres no debate about that.

How can you say a Pastor told you to strip nakeed and have sexx yet you didnt know it was wrong? How can anyone be manipulated to have sexx with another person a Pastor
She simply has been fantasying about doing the Pastor the way several females in Christ embassy see Pastor Chris as a sex symbol and would go all the way if given the slightest opportunity.

And returning for 7 good days for a repeat? NIGGA please. She was hoping to be the main squeeze of the pastor but was dissapointed that the man has better fishes to fry

The girl should put a sock in it and stop using the "abuse" word and conjure up another word for whatever happened to her, the public will still sympathise with her and be outraged by it all since a rich pastor is involved! understandably she want some sort of emotional reaction from the public but labelling her escapades abuse is an insult to those who have truly been abused.

vanitty: The girl should put a sock in it and stop using the "abuse" word and conjure up another word for whatever happened to her, the public will still sympathise with her and be outraged by it all since a rich pastor is involved! understandably she want some sort of emotional reaction from the public but labelling her escapades abuse is an insult to those who have truly been abused.

she's a bloody attention seeker.....

aysometin: I don't care what anyone else thinks but this girl was a victim of manipulation and spiritual hypnosis. It doesn't matter if she walked away (like Franca E) or stayed back, she still fell victim to a skilled manipulator who has been doing this for years.
What transpired in the 10 minutes that girl was in that room, many people have not and will never experience it in their life time, I do believe her when she said she went into a 'trance'. How do we guarantee that every girl can walk away??
The statement ' I will show you a higher level of grace' is manipulative enough. What if she believed him? at least he is her spiritual father and she is the 'baby' here (baby xtian). The fact that she went back for 7 days is nothing because most men know that all they have to do is convince you the first time and the rest is history.
Who knows her state of mind? who knows the dark place she is/was coming from? the Pastor defintelty took advantage of her vunerability.

My main concern is how many more vunerable girls are out there that can fall easily for this scam Very hard to find innit. So the best thing to do is to name and shame the men in authority that use their positions to lure women into having sex and making it look like they consented. NO!! it is ABUSE

For those saying the Pastor is not accountable to anyone, really When its time for offering, tithes and church building funds, everyone will be involved.

Spot on!

Bottom line is, if your daughter comes and says she wants to join the pastoral care unit at COZA, you now know that the next step is to bring out a cane and flog her....Unless you are Dayokanu or Coogar in which case you will not only allow her join but will also sign a parental consent to allow the pastor to f*#@ her whenever he feels the urge to, as long as it is consensual.

For the rest of the people; hide yo' wives, hide yo' daughters, hide yo' girlfriends! Hide yo' mistresses!

I believe most of us are Christians here, if you are not well, have a kiss . The bible is quite clear on sex outside marriage. It's not about if it's consensual or not. It's not about if Ese was stu..pid enough to fall. That is for the secular courts to deliberate on. I believe these are mere side attractions to the main issue that the Christian faith is against. A pastor has been accused of committing adultery, one of the things you shouldn't do in the Ten Commandments. What Christians should be concerned about is if he did it or not and not if it's consensual or not. That is what concerns people like me. And if he calls himself a good Christian he will not lie.

ileobatojo:
Spot on!

Bottom line is, if your daughter comes and says she wants to join the pastoral care unit at COZA, you now know that the next step is to bring out a cane and flog her....Unless you are Dayokanu or Coogar in which case you will not only allow her join but will also sign a parental consent to allow the pastor to f*#@ her whenever he feels the urge to, as long as it is consensual.

unfortunately for you, dayokanu & i would not raise daughters as lecherous as ese walters. what do you mothers teach your daughters these days? what morals do you impart in them? that men in authority can make free passes at them and abuse them? if my daughters join the PCU, she would break the guinness world record of the first woman in nigeria that ever chopped off the scrotum of an abusive pastor.....when parents don't raise the kids well, they turn out like ese walters....

For the rest of the people; hide yo' wives, hide yo' daughters, hide yo' girlfriends! Hide yo' mistresses!

train the children well and they wouldn't need to be hidden.

Bullshit! Even the most well trained person would still be at risk of falling for the wiles of someone they are attracted to if all things align together at the right place and time.

ileobatojo: Bullshit! Even the most well trained person would still be a high risk of falling for the wiles of someone they are attracted to if all things align together at the right place and time.

if she's attracted to him then where's the abuse or the sëxual attack?

coogar:

if she's attracted to him then where's the abuse or the sëxual attack?

How does the fact that she's attracted to him preclude any form of abuse?

There was no sex*ual attack, molestation or abuse, she said so herself.

ileobatojo:

Spot on!

Bottom line is, if your daughter comes and says she wants to join the pastoral care unit at COZA, you now know that the next step is to bring out a cane and flog her....Unless you are Dayokanu or Coogar in which case you will not only allow her join but will also sign a parental consent to allow the pastor to f*#@ her whenever he feels the urge to, as long as it is consensual.

For the rest of the people; hide yo' wives, hide yo' daughters, hide yo' girlfriends! Hide yo' mistresses!

If I have a 25yr old daughter who claims she wasnt rapped or drugged and used her legs to walk to an "abuser" 7 days straight to get bleeped later open a blog to share whatever story then i would order a DNA straight for her extreme stupidity must have come from someone else.

In the world one proposition and the other agree, Thats whats called consensual sex. And no law has been broken anywhere when 2 adults have sexx

ileobatojo:

How does the fact that she's attracted to him preclude any form of abuse?

There was no sex*ual attack, molestation or abuse, she said so herself.

So whats she crying about? She lusted after the man and she had CONSENSUAL sexx with him So whats the sob story, abuse and noise all about

ileobatojo: Bullshit! Even the most well trained person would still be at risk of falling for the wiles of someone they are attracted to if all things align together at the right place and time.

Youre attracted to someone, You end up fulfilling your fantasy yet would blame the man for your actions.

Like I ask when would ppl start taking responsibilities for themselves

ileobatojo:
How does the fact that she's attracted to him preclude any form of abuse?

There was no sex*ual attack, molestation or abuse, she said so herself.

no, she didn't say that - she said she decided to come out & speak out for millions of women in her position who get abused by pastors.

she's a sly, devious and a diabolical human being - i dunno how you can fall for her cheap scheme - she said she found herself kissing him, found herself sitting on his lap and found herself rolling in the sheets.

where did she take responsibility of her immorality in her story? even when a woman wants sex, the man must still take responsibility for her decisions? at what stage in a woman's life does she take responsibility for her actions?

stillwater: I believe most of us are Christians here, if you are not well, have a kiss . The bible is quite clear on sex outside marriage. It's not about if it's consensual or not. It's not about if Ese was stu..pid enough to fall. That is for the secular courts to deliberate on. I believe these are mere side attractions to the main issue that the Christian faith is against. A pastor has been accused of committing adultery, one of the things you shouldn't do in the Ten Commandments. What Christians should be concerned about is if he did it or not and not if it's consensual or not. That is what concerns people like me. And if he calls himself a good Christian he will not lie.

The bible said it then let the Bible or the author of the bible Which is God judge.

Or is Ese helping the Bible determine who a sinner is?

If anyone has flouted a biblical law, then wait for the maker of the law to punish him or her

dayokanu:

Youre attracted to someone, You end up fulfilling your fantasy yet would blame the man for your actions.

Like I ask when would ppl start taking responsibilities for themselves

She's not blaming the man for her actions, she's blaming the man for his actions.

dayokanu:

So whats she crying about? She lusted after the man and she had CONSENSUAL sexx with him So whats the sob story, abuse and noise all about

You would need to actually read her story to find that out.

coogar:

no, she didn't say that - she said she decided to come out & speak out for millions of women in her position who get abused by pastors.

Please find me the word 'sex*ual' in that quote.

coogar: at what stage in a woman's life does she take responsibility for her actions?

Are you surprised?

When a woman hits a man its because the man has done something to annoy her and deserves it.

When a woman kills a man, Its pardonable because women are not violent creatures.

When a woman gets fat or skinny its because she is trying to impress the men who talked her down

When a woman has consensual sexx its because she was abused by the man

ileobatojo:

She's not blaming the man for her actions, she's blaming the man for his actions.

And what right does she have to blame the man for what he did? Is the man answerable to her?

Only the mans wife has any right to question him on issues of fidelity or otherwise

stillwater: I believe most of us are Christians here, if you are not well, have a kiss . The bible is quite clear on sex outside marriage. It's not about if it's consensual or not. It's not about if Ese was stu..pid enough to fall. That is for the secular courts to deliberate on. I believe these are mere side attractions to the main issue that the Christian faith is against. A pastor has been accused of committing adultery, one of the things you shouldn't do in the Ten Commandments. What Christians should be concerned about is if he did it or not and not if it's consensual or not. That is what concerns people like me. And if he calls himself a good Christian he will not lie.

a pastor has been accused of adultery? was ese an idol worshipper when she carried her legs into a man's arms? isn't she a church worker? do different laws and ethics apply to pastors & their workers? aren't both of them born again christians that would be judged the same?

did ese not know the man was married? is she too mentally retardëd to know meeting a man alone in a hotel room comes with a risk? did ese's bible not teach her kissing a married man is a big sin? is ese a prepubescent girl who cannot differentiate what is right from what is wrong?

ileobatojo:
Please find me the word 'sex*ual' in that quote.

she meant sëxual abuse - don't even twist it. in what other way could she have been abused in the story she told? marital abuse? verbal abuse or what exactly?

Ujujoan: I have been in that girl's shoes and I completely understand why she feels like a victim here. You guys can defend the Pastor all you want but the truth is that he used undue influence to decieve the young girl into having and affair with him. That's just wrong!

In my case I was able to say NO because he was a Priest, not sure how I would have reacted if he was just a Pastor. Priests are celebate and at that point, I thought I was better off taking my chances out cold in the middle of the night than sleeping with a Priest. That to me was a permanent condemnation for life, a sin I wasn't ready to risk confessing to another preist!

What got me in that position in the first place? TRUST! That trust was betrayed both by my Priest and by the COZA pastor and even though I didn't give in, I still feeel like a victim. I had a terrible experience that night, one I wish I could be as bold as Ese to tell!

So go ahead, call her a slut, a desperado, a bla bla bla . . . . All I see is a strong girl trying to right a wrong! she didn't have to do this, she took a big risk by coming out and for that alone, she's a hero in my books!

Thanks for sharing your experience but let us examine this situation. First of all if the story is true, then for me wrong is always wrong and what happened in London was wrong by both parties and I do not in anyway blame Ese for exposing the Pastor. It was her way of getting revenge or trying to stop his hypocrisy (if thats the right word). But in all she was not abused.

We have heard stories of girls sleeping with University Professor out of fear they may fail exams and I am sure these professors put alot of pressure on these girls before they "give in" out of fear or that helpless feeling.

I just cannot see that here. No pressure at all. This is a Pastor she has not seen in one year and had just watched him online a few times. He suddenly comes into town and she just tries to help with out with a car to his hotel and then followed by a harmless friendly visit. Within one hour you are already having seex with that guy. Sorry that is not abuse of trust, that is simple lust! That kind of thing happens between people that already had a thing for each other - say boyfriend/girlfriend who havent seen each other for a long time or husband/wife who have missed each other. If nothing had ever happened between them and no feeling whatsoever, I am sure Pastor would not say come sit on my laps and she will comply. You say she is a strong woman which I completely agree with, wouldnt she have been strong enough like to you to say - "sorry Pastor I cannot sit on your laps. As in Pastor what has come off you? Me sit on your laps?" As in from where to where. Unless you think she was hypnotised. This is a woman that has appeared in front of over 2 million people on live tv singing, this same woman has a master’s degree and runs a profitable business through her blog. This was a first visit after one year and then they were having sex within one hour? Not sure how that happens in real life. She must have either been hypnotised or jazzed!

And then she went back for seven whole days for more action. Seriously, if they never had a thing for each other, this would never happen. They probably never had the chance to do anything in Nigeria because they could easily get caught so London was the perfect place. So what happened after that? For five months are we to believe Ese never communicated with Pastor? What kind of communication did they have? She then comes back to Nigeria to assume the role of Pastor's girlfriend when suddenly she realises that what was meant to be a long term affair was just for one week and then she got confused and felt used.

I have been in Christian fellowships before and I know how they operate. Alot of people want to be the closest to the pastor - both guys and girls. Being seen with Pastor puts you on another pedestal in Church and that was what this was about. And why would you think Ese never wanted to be Pastor's girlfriend. Fine boy with lots of money, connections, power and influence. How many Nigerian girls would refuse that? Had it been some broke ass ugly Pastor who asked her to kiss him on the first visit, would she have? Clearly there was some passion built up already before the visit!

If the story is 100% true which I doubt, I would never say what the pastor did was right neither will I blame Ese but she was not a victim. They were two adult looking for something, unfortunately Ese was played and she is now screaming. She painted the story to appear she was a victim. She was probably lied to, but she also wanted something. Unfortunately she didnt get it and so decided to talk.

coogar:

she meant sëxual abuse - don't even twist it.

No. She did not. She clarified that herself.

dayokanu:

And what right does she have to blame the man for what he did? Is the man answerable to her?

Only the mans wife has any right to question him on issues of fidelity or otherwise

What right do you have to blame corrupt leaders for looting? What right do you have to blame murderers for murdering? Rapists for raping? Are they answerable to you?

Only their parents have a right to question them in the issue of how well they were raised or otherwise.

*And before some dunce comes to say I am comparing sex to looting or murdering or raping, I am not. I'm talking about the concept of accountability to the people that your actions affect.*

ileobatojo:
No. She did not. She clarified that herself.

then you didn't read her story! here's an excerpt...

I realized the right thing to do was talk to an elder in the church and seek some sort of remedy to a wrong I believed had been done me. Instead, Pastor Flo said, Pastor Biodun had confessed to him and they had ‘talked’ about it and somehow that was supposed to be Ok.

He asked what it was I wanted coming to talk to him about it when I did, I told him I realized what happened between Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo and I was wrong and not just that I felt abused and manipulated. I also said I thought it was wrong for Pastor Biodun to go on preaching without taking time to deal with his personal character flaws.

I said I thought he was danger to all the young women that attended the church. Come to think of it, maybe he meant if I wanted something monetary or material (as someone had suggested when I opened up to her) but the truth is, I never wanted his money (or is it the church member’s money.) All I wanted was to meet with him and have him accept that he misled me, betrayed his wife and the church he pastors.


I wasn’t the only lady in COZA who had been a victim of his sexcapades and manipulative patterns but I was the one who could come back after months of struggle with not just my faith but also my affair with him. And I wanted to set things right.

misled, abused, manipulated, etc - how exactly has ese taken any responsibility for her own actions in this matter? this is why she should never be taken serious.

ileobatojo:
*And before some dunce comes to say I am comparing sex to looting or murdering or Molesting, I am not. I'm talking about the concept of accountability to the people that your actions affect.*

hogwash!
accountability my foot - 2 adults consented to have sëx. if anything affects ese then she's stüpid. why didn't she analyse the consequences before going back there everyday for a week to get nookies?

ileobatojo:

What right do you have to blame corrupt leaders for looting? What right do you have to blame murderers for murdering? Rapists for raping? Are they answerable to you?

Only their parents have a right to question them in the issue of how well they were raised or otherwise.

*And before some dunce comes to say I am comparing sex to looting or murdering or raping, I am not. I'm talking about the concept of accountability to the people that your actions affect.*

Corrupt leaders have a responsibility to me because I am a citizen of the country and its my money they are looting.

Murderers violated the law of the land which states clearly that they should be prosecuted for killing another person

Rapi1sts violently without consent had sex with another person, violates the law and deserve to be prosecuted

Now kindly draw a parallel with a case of consensual sex between two adults and any of the instances you raised

Again, I'm looking for the words 'sexual abuse' and I'm still not finding them.

How about the second letter she wrote that has been posted on NL where she explicitly stated that she was not sexually abused?

dayokanu:

Corrupt leaders have a responsibility to me because I am a citizen of the country and its my money they are looting.

Murderers violated the law of the land which states clearly that they should be prosecuted for killing another person

Rapi1sts violently without consent had sex with another person, violates the law and deserve to be prosecuted

Now kindly draw a parallel with a case of consensual sex between two adults and any of the instances you raised

Pastors have a moral responsibility to their congregation and it is her spirit and soul he is destroying by luring her to his den and abusing his authority to get her in his bed, manipulating her into keeping it quiet and deceiving her with fake spiritual priciples (a higher level of grace) to make it seem like what is wrong is right.