LOL Dami.... Good post. @missing out...Sometimes We just walk out of the club because I've seen it all and feels boring.

baby_123: OP,

At the end of the day, it is your call. Being 23 in 200L is quite mature vs a 17yr old in 200L. Hopefully you can make the best decision for yourself. However, dont rush. There is more to life than the ring. There is so much more to see, do and enjoy before settling down. If he loves you he would wait, trust me. If he cant, then he better have all the comforts you desire. Where light will not go, and if it goes automatic gen will kick in. Without you hustling to find petrol. If the guy is not that loaded, you better finish school, get a job and then get married.

What is there to see that she can't see and experience with her love if he's a good one
? I get the stressful education aspect ( everybody will not be Byvan) but I'm yet to grasp that common statement ; 'there's more to see'

jidegirl12: LOL Dami.... Good post. @missing out...Sometimes We just walk out of the club because I've seen it all and feels boring.



What is there to see that she can't see and experience with her love if he's a good one
? I get the stressful education aspect ( everybody will not be Byvan) but I'm yet to grasp that common statement ; 'there's more to see'

That's S.ex & the city kinda "see".

Haahahahhaha


Samantha the explorer extraordinaire

ceejayluv:
That's S.ex & the city kinda "see".

jidegirl12: LOL Dami.... Good post. @missing out...Sometimes We just walk out of the club because I've seen it all and feels boring.



What is there to see that she can't see and experience with her love if he's a good one
? I get the stressful education aspect ( everybody will not be Byvan) but I'm yet to grasp that common statement ; 'there's more to see'

She meant that d girl need to club, party, gain experience in d act of love makin frm numerous guys, etc. Cos me no see any experience apart from those

baby_123:
You must be a spirit to know what I meant. Upon all your vast intelligence and spiritual knowledge no one has proposed. Sad. Next time stay away from my comment. Frustrated Mary Magdalene. Madam of assumptions and story telling.

hahahahaha I have dead . So me na mary magdalene?. My name dn confuse am. Na wa for sm type of women o, or na baby I go call am sef!. Small baby.

baby_123:
And Jide you would make your comment because I don't agree with your stand? Yes, as a single person she had a lot more of life to see. When married it is not so easy to pack up and travel, go out with friends or have a life. Some people put so much weight on marriage as their be all and end all. Others will rather have their own individual experiences and independence before. There are some things you will never see or enjoy with your spouse that you will while single. That is the truth. I will never give out my daughter as an undergraduate or jobless. I don't think I would have fulfilled my duty as a parent. And I will never want any man to take that glory. Even people who get married early also divorce at an alarming rate. I know quite a few. When you haven't given yourself the time to be a young adult, you start missing what you never had.

make I no too talk sha. Nw na jump and pass b my own.

And Jide you would make your comment because I don't agree with your stand?

We can still agree to disagree and vice versa and be fine with it. You'll see from my post I stated 'its a common statement' I need clarification about... Take my word for it when I throw you a question, I'm man-raised, I don't frolic around unnecessarily.

What's my stand? A 23yr old in 200l is a product of failed education system.... Mine would be done high school and in Uni same year at 17... By 21 she should be done any 4yr course & lets say she's going for medicine , add another 3yrs which makes her 24yrs old ... If at 23 doing her residency and already finds the one wants to get hooked .. why not?

baby_123:
Yes, as a single person she had a lot more of life to see. When married it is not so easy to pack up and travel, go out with friends or have a life. Some people put so much weight on marriage as their be all and end all. Others will rather have their own individual experiences and independence before. There are some things you will never see or enjoy with your spouse that you will while single. That is the truth. I will never give out my daughter as an undergraduate or jobless. I don't think I would have fulfilled my duty as a parent. And I will never want any man to take that glory. Even people who get married early also divorce at an alarming rate. I know quite a few. When you haven't given yourself the time to be a young adult, you start missing what you never had.

Very well then.

jidegirl12:



We can still agree to disagree and vice versa and be fine with it. You'll see from my post I stated 'its a common statement' I need clarification about... Take my word for it when I throw you a question, I'm man-raised, I don't frolic around unnecessarily.

What's my stand? A 23yr old in 200l is a product of failed education system.... Mine would be done high school and in Uni same year at 17... By 21 she should be done any 4yr course & lets say she's going for medicine , add another 3yrs which makes her 24yrs old ... If at 23 doing her residency and already finds the one wants to get hooked .. why not?




Very well then.

Ok then, am sure I wrote clearly enough to satisfy your man raised opinion. Whatever that is.

^^ is everything okay?

passionate88: She meant that d girl need to club, party, gain experience in d act of love makin frm numerous guys, etc. Cos me no see any experience apart from those

Really baby123? You can't tell from the above post that this is a guy?

You can just detect a hint of misogyny in there.

Do not lose a good man because of a "career". I have shared my story here many times, I was still in school when I got married and got the best support anybody could ever get from my husband. Even my own parents that always pushed for women's right and empowerment did not insist on that rule Of Being a graduate first before marriage. We all got married as undergraduates. My SIL was a 3rd yr medical student when she married my brother, today she specialized in a field....she got a very supportive man.


Destinies differ, if it's yours it will happen.

Goodluck.

ileobatojo:

Really baby123? You can't tell from the above post that this is a guy?

You can just detect a hint of misogyny in there.

Oh. I thought it was a woman. Why are the men most aggressive about this? . This situation it really does take a special man for a woman to be happy. Or the woman has to have a special mentality at a young age. otherwise... I never dreamt of getting married before 25. I just didnt see it. Life as a single lady was quite sweet. . I am really happy i had that time.

jidegirl12: ^^ is everything okay?

Help me ask her o. She dn also conclude say I b woman wey dey look for man, I dey house I neva get husband, etc. D gal dey bhave smhw, I b gay wey I go dey look for man ni?. If 2 say me na gal na so she for dn take tell everybody say I b hungry gal wey dey find man make him dey feed me. Na her type dey persecute her fellow women jst because dm dey single.

jidegirl12:



We can still agree to disagree and vice versa and be fine with it. You'll see from my post I stated 'its a common statement' I need clarification about... Take my word for it when I throw you a question, I'm man-raised, I don't frolic around unnecessarily]

What's my stand? A 23yr old in 200l is a product of failed education system.... Mine would be done high school and in Uni same year at 17... By 21 she should be done any 4yr course & lets say she's going for medicine , add another 3yrs which makes her 24yrs old ... If at 23 doing her residency and already finds the one wants to get hooked .. why not?




Very well then.

bukatyne:

Lmao. Me sef was surprised. Na fight? On top my opinion.

See confusion.

baby_123:

Oh. I thought it was a woman. Why are the men most aggressive about this? . This situation it really does take a special man for a woman to be happy. Or the woman has to have a special mentality at a young age. otherwise... I never dreamt of getting married before 25. I just didnt see it. Life as a single lady was quite sweet. . I am really happy i had that time.

I get your point baby, its a valid one thats why I still think it comes back to mindset.I actually lived alone for a while before I got married(outside Nigeria though) and it was that time that I really grew up (I lived alone in Uni but its not the same).

I really do not see anything I am really missing out on now cos as I said been there, done that.Some people dont need to be there done that and some people who got married young (sometimes) feel they kinda missed out on something. Of the two people I know got married young and are now divorced that was partly the reason the marriages crashed.One kept comparing herself to single girls like us and kept clashing with her husband who felt she was being irresponsible by always fobbing off her kids on any available person (to be honest the girl overdid it).Financial issues too cos she was not working and wanted to be buying aso ebi like us that had no pressing responsiblities.

As I said it takes a certain kind of maturity and if the OP has it, she is good to go.

damiso:

I get your point baby, its a valid one thats why I still think it comes back to mindset.I actually lived alone for a while before I got married(outside Nigeria though) and it was that time that I really grew up (I lived alone in Uni but its not the same).

I really do not see anything I am really missing out on now cos as I said been there, done that.Some people dont need to be there done that and some people who got married young (sometimes) feel they kinda missed out on something. Of the two people I know got married young and are now divorced that was partly the reason the marriages crashed.One kept comparing herself to single girls like us and kept clashing with her husband who felt she was being irresponsible by always fobbing off her kids on any available person (to be honest the girl overdid it).Financial issues too cos she was not working and wanted to be buying aso ebi like us that had no pressing responsiblities.

As I said it takes a certain kind of maturity and if the OP has it, she is good to go.

Exactly. However, i will go by my own experience and wouldnt let my daughter do such. I even believe my daughter should have experience dating. I know the gremlins i experienced while dating, and how much experience it takes to make such a decision. I dont think such a decision can be wisely taken by a teenager, or one not so experienced in life. It is all well and good to be in love, but have you considered all the factors? Are you truly able to? I can imagine if i married the first guy that asked for my hand in marriage. . I think some people from when they were little have been raised to be wives. The topic was never even brought up in my home, so i was seriously in my own world, really enjoying my life. I look back with fond memories and smile. I prefer it that way, i have no regrets whatsoever. I would love for my daughter to have a life before she merges that with someone else. It helps with a level of identity, maturity, independence and making more informed and rational decisions.

Matter of fact i would want for her to experience heart break so that she can appreciate a good man, and the life she has with him. . I dont want to be listening to small small fights and being referee for her and the husband, because she feels there is better out there and she missed it.

damiso:

I get your point baby, its a valid one thats why I still think it comes back to mindset.I actually lived alone for a while before I got married(outside Nigeria though) and it was that time that I really grew up (I lived alone in Uni but its not the same).

I really do not see anything I am really missing out on now cos as I said been there, done that.Some people dont need to be there done that and some people who got married young (sometimes) feel they kinda missed out on something. Of the two people I know got married young and are now divorced that was partly the reason the marriages crashed.One kept comparing herself to single girls like us and kept clashing with her husband who felt she was being irresponsible by always fobbing off her kids on any available person (to be honest the girl overdid it).Financial issues too cos she was not working and wanted to be buying aso ebi like us that had no pressing responsiblities.

As I said it takes a certain kind of maturity and if the OP has it, she is good to go.

Simple

jennykadry: Do not lose a good man because of a "career". I have shared my story here many times, I was still in school when I got married and got the best support anybody could ever get from my husband. Even my own parents that always pushed for women's right and empowerment did not insist on that rule Of Being a graduate first before marriage. We all got married as undergraduates. My SIL was a 3rd yr medical student when she married my brother, today she specialized in a field....she got a very supportive man.


Destinies differ, if it's yours it will happen.

Goodluck.

DO NOT LOSE A GOOD MAN BECAUSE OF A 'CAREER'... well said...

I don't believe one need to date a dozen men to be able to know her man when she meets him,if you are very selective and understand your person, it is very easy to know who compliments you . It's just like two halves of an orange,it simply fits,you both ll basically think alike 85 % percent of the time.


If you marry someone in your own generation with a modern mentality, there is no fun known to the single that you both can't have .Everthing still boils down to individual maturity, some 35years Olds are not ready,while some 18yrs Olds are.

byvan: I don't believe one need to date a dozen men to be able to know her man when she meets him, if you are very selective and understand your person, it is very easy to know who compliments you . It's just like two halves of an orange,it simply fits,you both ll basically think alike 85 % percent of the time.


If you marry someone in your own generation with a modern mentality, there is no fun known to the single that you both can't have .Everthing still boils down to individual maturity, some 35years Olds are not ready,while some 18yrs Olds are.

@bolded. BRAVO. I still remember the advice you gave on a thread. That's what "women" on Nairaland is supposed to do. Just because our fore fathers served traditional gods and they were happy about it doesn't mean we should follow suite. But all the same, what will work for 1 might not work for another

As this topic , has turned into different trying to impose their own ideas to the op, irrespective of the fact that she has her own mind, convictions and she's the one wearing the shoes...
All, I will say knowing your identity, your strength , your weakness , having a sound education , backing it up anywhere in the world or in any circumstance u find yourself on earth is one aspect of life, a wise lady is not meant let go like that because of keeping a good man...what if, God forbid, something bad happens to the good man, how will she conveniently handle her home , family buisness successfully without it crumbling......there's nothing as good as been sound and strong in serious areas in life...strong women lasts, Not weak ones....I have a cousin, who chose a good man over completing her studies... The good man died ,may his soul rest in peace, amen... two yrs after getting married to my cousin, leaving her with twins boys of 1 yr olds.....She has to defer her course till further , cos she couldn't take the shock of being a young widow with two little boys to cater for... Shes simply broken...and she has not finished school, talkers of having a job...
I simply feel, a woman should complete her education early , be grounded about real facts of life, human relations and earning of income before getting married...
There's also a neighbor , guy... He said a guy from their home town came to ask for his sister hand in marriage, they did their findings.. He's a good man and has a credible job.. He also promised to continue training his wife, if they allow him to marry her, as she's in school... Everyone trusted him.... He has married her, but where's she now... He stopped her from continuing her education..convincing her that he will forever cater for her and his children needs , as if he is God that lives forever... She's there half baked in education...and her brother , my neighbor regrets the decision they all took to trust him...
Some wives will have good stories to tell... While their some that will have painful nightmares hidden in their souls...
So it goes both way..... Only God knows the heart of man, who is really good and have best intentions, not selfish intentions.

Meanwhile don't forget to run some Zodiac love match analysis.... Believe me it's plausible...

Zodiac love match analysis is very plausible,it works.

Are you sure your boyfriend has thought it out well? What are his plans? What are your plans?

He works in a different vicinity from where you school.

Is he planning you quit school? Does he believe in education?

What does he do for a living?

Why is he in a hurry?

Truthfully, do you love him? Is he a good man?

What do your parents think? Have you told them?

Are you really interested in marriage as of now? At 23 marriage was the last thing on my mind. But that's my own upbringing.

Is he the type that encourages and challenges you to be better or one of those beer parlor archaic and illiterate boyfriends that will not value your education and womanhood but feel since they have money they are husband materials?

byvan: Zodiac love match analysis is very plausible,it works.

You are so so right!!

ceejayluv: Meanwhile don't forget to run some Zodiac love match analysis.... Believe me it's plausible...

I would really love to believe this thing works, but. . . I don't. To me, its just a myth.

ceejayluv: Meanwhile don't forget to run some Zodiac love match analysis.... Believe me it's plausible...

Very true.

ileobatojo:

Really baby123? You can't tell from the above post that this is a guy?

You can just detect a hint of misogyny in there.

detector. Jacqueline Bauer. Detect o. Bt on a more serious note that "baby" need to broaden d way she dey think, so if to say I b woman nd still single na so she for take my singleness mock me?. Women re there own worse enemy.

Byvan, u've said it all. Love ur comments!
But in addition, when one gets married early, u avoid getting cut up in fornication, which is a great sin. The truth is 'body no be wood.'
And whether we like it or not, sex outside marriage is punishable by God, that's a guarantee! Except d person repents n desist from it. But, wouldn't it be better to have a clean record?

Don't mind those single old 'independent' ladies attributing early marriage to poverty.
Deep down, they wish they were married.

@Op, pls don't be discouraged, u r not too young. But pls try n be focused and mange ur time well.
Life is full of challenges, whether single or married.
I know a married woman who was d only 1st class grad in her class while some single ladies had 2 extra years.
It's all about determination.
Pls follow ur heart n always be conscious of God.