Try not to displease the creator in your bid to please his creations....




......
Happy(belated) sunday

need som advice on what really went wrong.

I was chatting with a girl (my town girl sha) via BBM last year September, during Christmas we later met in there home town which happens to be mine hometown too. She really liked me.
Infact our house is 3mins away from each other house.

When we met in the Christmas, I spent some time with her family, I was really impressed.
After Christmas we went to our different states to work, I stay in lag, she stays in PH , but I made it a routine to be visiting her every end of month.
My first visit, I told her ma intention, I was straight, I told her am coming for marriage, I also told her no sex till after our intro (wanted her to know am not coming to have sex and run).she accepted to date me, though I didn't realise that because I was waiting for her to give me a yes reply.
I call her twice a day to know how she is doing in the PH, I really love her, I even told her to come to lag so that I can introduce her to ma people atleast let them know her.

Fourth month into the year, I noticed her phone is always biz when I call, our communication began to drop.
She now fares up over little things.
I told her to let me know ma faith in the relationship.
She didn't give me a reply.

I decided when I get to PH I will see whether I can resolve things.

When I got to PH I was faced with a long list
From her.
Some of the things in the list includes
I don't make her feel like a woman.
she does not think I find her attractive.
I don't encourage or scold her.
A lot she wrote.
Because of that she pulled the plug.
Am still in pain cause I gave a lot into the relationship and I really wanted it to lead to matrimony.
my question is, we're did I go wrong,
Cause she told me I did nothing wrong, just that the connection was not there again.
I still like this girl.
The surprising thing is she calls back anytime she see ma missed call.
Is there anything I can do to win her back.
I bought her some designers perfume which I told her before she broke up with me, should I still send it to her

malele:
need som advice on what really went wrong.

I was chatting with a girl (my town girl sha) via BBM last year September, during Christmas we later met in there home town which happens to be mine hometown too. She really liked me.
Infact our house is 3mins away from each other house.

When we met in the Christmas, I spent some time with her family, I was really impressed.
After Christmas we went to our different states to work, I stay in lag, she stays in PH , but I made it a routine to be visiting her every end of month.
My first visit, I told her ma intention, I was straight, I told her am coming for marriage, I also told her no sex till after our intro (wanted her to know am not coming to have sex and run).she accepted to date me, though I didn't realise that because I was waiting for her to give me a yes reply.
I call her twice a day to know how she is doing in the PH, I really love her, I even told her to come to lag so that I can introduce her to ma people atleast let them know her.

Fourth month into the year, I noticed her phone is always biz when I call, our communication began to drop.
She now fares up over little things.
I told her to let me know ma faith in the relationship.
She didn't give me a reply.

I decided when I get to PH I will see whether I can resolve things.

When I got to PH I was faced with a long list
From her.
Some of the things in the list includes
I don't make her feel like a woman.
she does not think I find her attractive.
I don't encourage or scold her.
A lot she wrote.
Because of that she pulled the plug.
Am still in pain cause I gave a lot into the relationship and I really wanted it to lead to matrimony.
my question is, we're did I go wrong,
Cause she told me I did nothing wrong, just that the connection was not there again.
I still like this girl.
The surprising thing is she calls back anytime she see ma missed call.
Is there anything I can do to win her back.
I bought her some designers perfume which I told her before she broke up with me, should I still send it to her

well bro in my little sense as a man I'd want yu to ask again what is her stand with yu, cuz I don't see the essence of giving much with nothing return, talk to her later today, don't go see her nw talk on the phone ask her what she want the relationship or nt..after yu hv asked her whatever she says don't call her for like a week nd see if she will chase yu if nt forget her.. Make sure yu guys talk things out well, yu get? The after that leave for awhile
Good luck to yu.

malele:
need som advice on what really went wrong.

I was chatting with a girl (my town girl sha) via BBM last year September, during Christmas we later met in there home town which happens to be mine hometown too. She really liked me.
Infact our house is 3mins away from each other house.

When we met in the Christmas, I spent some time with her family, I was really impressed.
After Christmas we went to our different states to work, I stay in lag, she stays in PH , but I made it a routine to be visiting her every end of month.
My first visit, I told her ma intention, I was straight, I told her am coming for marriage, I also told her no sex till after our intro (wanted her to know am not coming to have sex and run).she accepted to date me, though I didn't realise that because I was waiting for her to give me a yes reply.
I call her twice a day to know how she is doing in the PH, I really love her, I even told her to come to lag so that I can introduce her to ma people atleast let them know her.

Fourth month into the year, I noticed her phone is always biz when I call, our communication began to drop.
She now fares up over little things.
I told her to let me know ma faith in the relationship.
She didn't give me a reply.

I decided when I get to PH I will see whether I can resolve things.

When I got to PH I was faced with a long list
From her.
Some of the things in the list includes
I don't make her feel like a woman.
she does not think I find her attractive.
I don't encourage or scold her.
A lot she wrote.
Because of that she pulled the plug.
Am still in pain cause I gave a lot into the relationship and I really wanted it to lead to matrimony.
my question is, we're did I go wrong,
Cause she told me I did nothing wrong, just that the connection was not there again.
I still like this girl.
The surprising thing is she calls back anytime she see ma missed call.
Is there anything I can do to win her back.
I bought her some designers perfume which I told her before she broke up with me, should I still send it to her

well bro in my little sense as a man I'd want yu to ask her again what is her stand with yu, cuz I don't see the essence of giving much with nothing in return, talk to her later today, don't go see her nw talk on the phone ask her what she wants the relationship or nt..after yu hv asked her whatever she says don't call her for like a week nd see if she will chase yu if nt forget her.. Make sure yu guys talk things out well, yu get? Then after that leave her for awhile.
Good luck to yu.

@malele
..

First off, you can win her bk. I don't think u lost her in the first instance. That was just to make u step up your game.
You can go ahead and send it to her. After which, call her up, let her know you want her, reiterate that you wanted and still want to take her to the alter. Tell her you've been hurt. End the call, and give her space(absence, they say makes the heart grow fonder) Let her be the one to make the first move.... If not, forget about her. When she eventually makes a move, try not to make the same mistakes again. Calling twice a day wasn't really conveying the msg. Women want attention, not just any kind, but men who find them desirable thus make them "feel like a woman" . Now am not saying you should violate your no sex rule thing, but flirt a little, take liberties, be naughty, be spontaneous, make sure she's aware that she's desired by you. finally,(again) absence makes the heart grow fonder. too much attention will ultimately have the same effect as too little of it. Apply moderation. Let her crave your presence and all that comes with it.........
....
Play your cards right,... and you close the deal!!

Only know you've been high when u're feeling low, Only hate the road when u're missing home, Only miss the sun when it starts to snow, You only know you love her when you let her go....

j0rdannkyle:
Only know you've been high when u're feeling low,
Only hate the road when u're missing home,
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow,
You only know you love her when you let her go....

How can letting go mean loving her?
Can u pls explain that, cause ma ex that broke up with me I still fined it difficult to let go. If somebody I took as a sis mess me up like this. Anyway my heart is in ma pocket now. Don't think I can love again it's risky

I dated this girl for two years plus, she cheated on me that's why I broke up with her, cos she told me blankly she wants to keep dating us both, which I declined. Though I did my best to save the relationship cos she can't point to a single fault in me to justify her actions. After the break up she came back begging again, I neva take her serious sha. Cos I think she's fooling around. Currently, we're dating secretly. But she keeps reminiscing on the past too much, which makes me think she's not ready for change. Though I didn't take her serious cos I can't never trust her and am never committed to the thing. Please i want to ask if I should cut her lose totally, seems she wants to be collecting things from me, which I will never gv her.

Teaser4:
I dated this girl for two years plus, she cheated on me that's why I broke up with her, cos she told me blankly she wants to keep dating us both, which I declined. Though I did my best to save the relationship cos she can't point to a single fault in me to justify her actions. After the break up she came back begging again, I neva take her serious sha. Cos I think she's fooling around. Currently, we're dating secretly. But she keeps reminiscing on the past too much, which makes me think she's not ready for change. Though I didn't take her serious cos I can't never trust her and am never committed to the thing. Please i want to ask if I should cut her lose totally, seems she wants to be collecting things from me, which I will never gv her.

You've already answered yourself. Cut her lose

malele:


How can letting go mean loving her?
Can u pls explain that, cause ma ex that broke up with me I still fined it difficult to let go. If somebody I took as a sis mess me up like this. Anyway my heart is in ma pocket now. Don't think I can love again it's risky

Try reading it all over again

There's dis guy i jst started dating,its about a month now and we work in the same office, dat means we see everyday at work,even tho we try not to communicate much at work so that people won't really know wats going on. My problem is, this guy doesn't really call,sms or chat, maybe because we see everyday at work and I follow him home almost everyday before I go home because we stay almost close to eachother.
On weekends that we don't work, he doesn't call or sms..its usually me,calling and saying I'm coming..and whenever we're together,we're cool. I've complained about this several times and yet he hasn't changed..I don't know if he's not really used to calling. On saturday, I decided not to call to jst see wat will happen, he didn't call all thru the day, he jst called in d night saying he hasn't heard from me or have I stopped loving him? I jst said no, and we talked normally,etc..Maybe its because I'm used to constant communication whenever I'm in a relationship..I'm feeling very uncomfortable with his lack of phone communication n texting..
Sometimes I begin to wonder, wat if we weren't working in the same office, does it mean we won't be communicating?? I think that's wat it means..Or could it be that he doesn't love me enough? Even though he tells me once in a while that he loves me.
Please advice me on what to do because I jst feel like calling it quits with him, even though I really like him

my second question
His birthday is nextweek, and he's really looking forward to me using his pic on my dp with a romantic PM..but he has never used my pic on his dp or a pic of both of us, when i asked him about it, he said its till I use his pic on my dp, that's when he'll use my pic on his dp..And it got me thinking cos it sounded like a condition..I see other guys putting up their gf's pic on their dp's with nice status, so why should his own be different Pls advice me on what to do because i can't use his pic on my dp with any romantic msg for his birthday because he has never used my pic on his dp..Its jst unfortunate that his birthday is around the corner(nextweek) and mine has passed..pls why do u think he has refused to use my pic on his dp..its really not a big deal, but little things like this matters a lot..Please advice me!!

uniquelycool:
my second question
His birthday is nextweek, and he's really looking forward to me using his pic on my dp with a romantic PM..but he has never used my pic on his dp or a pic of both of us, when i asked him about it, he said its till I use his pic on my dp, that's when he'll use my pic on his dp..And it got me thinking cos it sounded like a condition..I see other guys putting up their gf's pic on their dp's with nice status, so why should his own be different Pls advice me on what to do because i can't use his pic on my dp with any romantic msg for his birthday because he has never used my pic on his dp..Its jst unfortunate that his birthday is around the corner(nextweek) and mine has passed..pls why do u think he has refused to use my pic on his dp..its really not a big deal, but little things like this matters a lot..Please advice me!!

if yu can't live with such act from him move on abeg.
relationships ain't made to be 1 sided nd it can't survive without communications

uniquelycool:
There's dis guy i jst started dating,its about a month now and we work in the same office, dat means we see everyday at work,even tho we try not to communicate much at work so that people won't really know wats going on. My problem is, this guy doesn't really call,sms or chat, maybe because we see everyday at work and I follow him home almost everyday before I go home because we stay almost close to eachother.
On weekends that we don't work, he doesn't call or sms..its usually me,calling and saying I'm coming..and whenever we're together,we're cool. I've complained about this several times and yet he hasn't changed..I don't know if he's not really used to calling. On saturday, I decided not to call to jst see wat will happen, he didn't call all thru the day, he jst called in d night saying he hasn't heard from me or have I stopped loving him? I jst said no, and we talked normally,etc..Maybe its because I'm used to constant communication whenever I'm in a relationship..I'm feeling very uncomfortable with his lack of phone communication n texting..
Sometimes I begin to wonder, wat if we weren't working in the same office, does it mean we won't be communicating?? I think that's wat it means..Or could it be that he doesn't love me enough? Even though he tells me once in a while that he loves me.
Please advice me on what to do because I jst feel like calling it quits with him, even though I really like him

Actions speak louder than words. You should definitely tell him you feel uncomfortable about his lukewarm attitude towards your relationship and its makes you doubt if he really wants you. If he can wake up and be the man for you then all good if its all talk and no action on his part then you have to reevaluate if this is the kind of relationship you want to be in because constant communication is important in a relationship if this is what you need and he is unable or unwilling to give it to you be prepared to make yourself available for a man who wants the type of relationship you want.

uniquelycool:
my second question
His birthday is nextweek, and he's really looking forward to me using his pic on my dp with a romantic PM..but he has never used my pic on his dp or a pic of both of us, when i asked him about it, he said its till I use his pic on my dp, that's when he'll use my pic on his dp..And it got me thinking cos it sounded like a condition..I see other guys putting up their gf's pic on their dp's with nice status, so why should his own be different Pls advice me on what to do because i can't use his pic on my dp with any romantic msg for his birthday because he has never used my pic on his dp..Its jst unfortunate that his birthday is around the corner(nextweek) and mine has passed..pls why do u think he has refused to use my pic on his dp..its really not a big deal, but little things like this matters a lot..Please advice me!!

Follow his actions he didn't use your picture on your birthday, you don't use his picture on his birthday this is not tit for tat but following his leadership in the relationship if he wants to keep his investment at minimum level then you keep yours at minimum level too. Try not to concern yourself with why he has refused to use your pictures on his dp he has told you, you have to go first which all looks like games to me. If he is lukewarm and acting like a friend then that is what he is.

I encourage you to date other men who are interested in you to avoid settling for a barely there relationship and possibly discover a better type of relationship for yourself.

andromida:


Actions speak louder than words. You should definitely tell him you feel uncomfortable about his lukewarm attitude towards your relationship and its makes you doubt if he really wants you. If he can wake up and be the man for you then all good if its all talk and no action on his part then you have to reevaluate if this is the kind of relationship you want to be in because constant communication is important in a relationship if this is what you need and he is unable or unwilling to give it to you be prepared to make yourself available for a man who wants the type of relationship you want.



Follow his actions he didn't use your picture on your birthday, you don't use his picture on his birthday this is not tit for tat but following his leadership in the relationship if he wants to keep his investment at minimum level then you keep yours at minimum level too. Try not to concern yourself with why he has refused to use your pictures on his dp he has told you, you have to go first which all looks like games to me. If he is lukewarm and acting like a friend then that is what he is.

I encourage you to date other men who are interested in you to avoid settling for a barely there relationship and possibly discover a better type of relationship for yourself.

the guy is just selfish.

I need advice....I have this guy, we have been together for 3yrs but he cheated last yr june, and I found out, he promised it wont happen again, but as at early jan, he started chatting with dis girl, even till 12midnight, but he says there is ntn going on btw him and the girl, when the girl calls he doesn't pick whenever am around bt when am nt around he picks, once he even lied that he was going to see a friend only for me to find out he took the girl to his house, I have tried everything....what should I do??...cus now we have distance between us...

bbel:
I need advice....I have this guy, we have been together for 3yrs but he cheated last yr june, and I found out, he promised it wont happen again, but as at early jan, he started chatting with dis girl, even till 12midnight, but he says there is ntn going on btw him and the girl, when the girl calls he doesn't pick whenever am around bt when am nt around he picks, once he even lied that he was going to see a friend only for me to find out he took the girl to his house, I have tried everything....what should I do??...cus now we have distance between us...

talk to him nd find out why he is doing all that to yu, if there's the need to amend it if nt move on....

bbel:
I need advice....I have this guy, we have been together for 3yrs but he cheated last yr june, and I found out, he promised it wont happen again, but as at early jan, he started chatting with dis girl, even till 12midnight, but he says there is ntn going on btw him and the girl, when the girl calls he doesn't pick whenever am around bt when am nt around he picks, once he even lied that he was going to see a friend only for me to find out he took the girl to his house, I have tried everything....what should I do??...cus now we have distance between us...

talk to him nd find out why he is doing all that to yu, if there's the need to amend it if nt move on.

Hey, there's this female friend of mine. We used to be close till her behavior started pushing me away, we were still in contact but not as close as before. Till recently I helped her with something, something I did with considerable effort only for her to make some comments undermining my efforts and showed no gratitude whatsoever. The following day I sent a message on whatsapp expressing my disappointment on the issue, clearly stating the effort I put into what I did for her the previous day and how annoying her response was, she read the message that same day but didn't reply. Two days later I checked my phone and saw 4 missed calls from her, I called back an hour later twice she didn't pick up, I called the next day she picked up we greeted, when I asked why she didn't call back the previous day she dropped the call, I called again incase it was network she busied the call. Over that week I made several attempts to contact her, all to no avail. I sent several texts stating that I was willing to talk no matter what it was and also called several times with no response.

The following week she sends a text asking me for some info, I act like we're all good and give her a reply over the next few days she sends me texts asking about various things. I reply all but I make it obvious in my responses that all is not alright.

So yesterday she requests for something of hers in my possession, I ignored her till night time around 10 she calls 5 times and I ignore. So today she calls back lamenting and claiming she doesn't know what she has done to me that I am treating her that way and that all she wants is her property without letting me say a word she cuts the call, so I reply back with a message stating all she has done that annoyed me the previous week and about how she has been ignoring me, to all I write in my text she replies 'tanx'. To me the whole situation makes no sense, I have since returned her property though, I gave it to a friend of hers. But all that happened makes no sense to me. I don't know if I should call her and demand for an explanation or I should just forget her and move on as this seems to be the end of the relationship

^move on! She ain't worth stress n headache. You guys better off apart.

That's what am trying to do now, but I have some kind of unrest of mind since I do not know the reason for her actions still as she hasn't said anything, and I keep having this feeling that am overreacting