debosky:

yeah right it won't hurt. . . . love can be PERMANENTLY damaged when people hold grudges for too long. They might kiss and make up aferwards, but if the same situation happens again, they might go for one week without talking, getting longer and longer.

Fights should be resolved promptly and not carried on in this manner.

the nasty voicemails and text messages will not help. It seems you are just as immature and childish as your husband. Why do some women do this Jekyll and Hyde thing anyways is it bipolar disorder or what?

If you want to be the right one, hold the moral ground all through, this good one minute nasty the next behavior will not help either.

Exactly my point!
Well, the point I was trying to put across.

Nasty voicemail and text?
SW, how was that suppose to help the situation at hand?

Ruby_Pearl:

Sistawoman,
I still don't get it. Do you live together or separately?

We live together but he has an apartment that he is trying to sublet.  He does not have a tentent in it yet and 18 more months on the lease.  So he is free to stay there when he wants.  This is the first time since we have been married that he has stayed there.

debosky:

yeah right it won't hurt. . . . love can be PERMANENTLY damaged when people hold grudges for too long. They might kiss and make up aferwards, but if the same situation happens again, they might go for one week without talking, getting longer and longer.

Fights should be resolved promptly and not carried on in this manner.

the nasty voicemails and text messages will not help. It seems you are just as immature and childish as your husband. Why do some women do this Jekyll and Hyde thing anyways is it bipolar disorder or what?

If you want to be the right one, hold the moral ground all through, this good one minute nasty the next behaviour will not help either.

The nasty voicemail and text messages this morning was me flying off the cuff at him because i woke up to him not being home and the truck gone.  He left me a text message that he took the truck.  Not only did he take the truck but he went in my dam purse took my keys to the truck and took off.  
He did not leave the money for my driver this morning.
And if my son missed the bus I would have had no way to get him to school.

He caused those nasty voicemails/sms.

wat situation?plssssssssss u pple r making it sound as if hes doing her a favour by staying married to her

couples quarell its no big deal ,sm do that for month sm for days,it happens ,if d man cant understand her from her own point of view then wat else does he want her to do

ahhh, you'll get over it. He's a naija man. get used to it.



_{jk jk ^{b4 they blast m}e}

mesmya:

what situation?plssssssssss u people r making it sound as if hes doing her a favour by staying married to her

couples quarell its no big deal ,sm do that for month sm for days,it happens ,if d man can't understand her from her own point of view then what else does he want her to do

For month?
which kain marriage be that?

sistawoman:

I have tried to make the peace, maybe too late, I left him a very nasty voicemail this morning and sent him several nasty text messages.  But on the flip side of that he should know me by now and know that when i blow up i really blow up.

I just called again, for the last time, asked that he please call or come home after the children go to bed so that we can talk.

I held out the olive branch lets see if he takes it and comes home.  I will not tolerate too much of him staying away from home.  i am not sure where my breaking point is.   But I will just keep busy with work, caring for my babies and sleep.  As long as i don't find myself idle i will be fine and wont pick up the phone to call him.

I miss him and love him dearly and really can't believe this thing has gone on this long.  I am going to wait a few more days before i bring Amos in to mediate.

You are just making everything worse with the nasty messages you are sending to him.Is this part of the olive branch you held out??
men dont really like those kind of behaviour.
i dont even know how you managed to allow things to degenerate into this state.
you are obviously not doing things right.I advise you should change tactics.
i've told you before.you better dont let this minor quibble turn into something major.

Ruby_Pearl:

ahhh, you'll get over it. He's a naija  man. get used to it.



_{jk jk ^{before they blast m}e}
For month?
which kain marriage be that?

i no blame u for dat question,bit mydear if u marry one day u will understand wella

lidbb2:

You are just making everything worse with the nasty messages you are sending to him.Is this part of the olive branch you held out??
men don't really like those kind of behaviour.
i don't even know how you managed to allow things to degenerate into this state.
you are obviously not doing things right.I advise you should change tactics.
i've told you before.you better don't let this minor quibble turn into something major.

The nasty messages were this am at 730am before i left for work.  My tone softened as the day went on.

My last message was very soft but it will be my last message.  I called at 630pm to hold out the olive branch but accept it or not he has to make the choice and live with that decison.  If his pride/ego is too big to work out this small thing then it is better that he stay at his apartment and make another appointment for a divorce lawyer.

mesmya:

i no blame u for that question,bit mydear if u marry one day u will understand wella

When I marry one day, I don't think I'll be waiting to ignore my husband for a month or have him ignore me for that ^long period of time.

come ruby i can see you're not even readin my posts well,i said sm people stay for a month sm people for weeks and sm for days,so y r u laying emphasies on d one month stuff`?

wait till you're married,when u find yourself always making peace when there is a little misunderstanding ,i bet u ,u will slow down and asked to be treated like a woman

If it is one thing i know. . . . and that is not be sarcastic with some people. With my girlfriends or my personal guy friends. . . oka im very sarcastic. In fact i do it without thinking. But with people such as my father or people of his genre. . . . i don't even show that side. I did it once and learned my lesson. Because even though my dad is the most sarcastic person in the world. . . . you never give him a taste of his own medicine.

So sista. . . . you betta suck up some of that pride and apologize. i know it is hard because i most definately wouldn't apologize, or atleast be the first one. I would probably have an attitude about it. Actually i would most definately have an attitude about it. So yeah i would come off "sincere", and leave the attitude. Because it would add insult to injury.

sarcasm has no place between a man and his wife.

sistawoman:

The nasty messages were this am at 730am before i left for work.  My tone softened as the day went on.

My last message was very soft but it will be my last message.  I called at 630pm to hold out the olive branch but accept it or not he has to make the choice and live with that decison.  If his pride/ego is too big to work out this small thing then it is better that he stay at his apartment and make another appointment for a divorce lawyer.

A simple issue of lying because of your kids has turned into involving a divorce lawyer!!??&&?
this raises so many more questions than awnsers.
you are simply not helping things with your attitude.all this ultimatum and threats will only make things worse.
if you really want to hold out an olive branch,i will advise you to swallow your pride and go to where he is staying and talk things over with him.

lidbb2:

A simple issue of lying because of your kids has turned into involving a divorce lawyer!!??&&?
this raises so many more questions than awnsers.
you are simply not helping things with your attitude.all this ultimatum and threats will only make things worse.
if you really want to hold out an olive branch,i will advise you to swallow your pride and go to where he is staying and talk things over with him.

How exactly should i do that since he took the truck and the kids are here at home?

mesmya:

come ruby i can see you're not even readin my posts well,i said sm people stay for a month sm people for weeks and sm for days,so y r u laying emphasies on d one month stuff`?

wait till you're married,when u find yourself always making peace when there is a little misunderstanding ,i bet u ,u will slow down and asked to be treated like a woman

I'm sorry, I'm actually laying emphasis on all of them. Just thought to pick the one month length.

So, ignoring my husband will earn me the special treatment?

Chill o! Is this the sistawoman who just got married?   This is what you get when you spend too much time talking ABOUT your marriage rather than working to protect it.

My father once said - never marry a woman who cant control herself when she is angry. Now that i'm older i think its one of the wisest sayings i ever heard. Kudos to you sis . . . when your husband starts staying outside the home it wont be long before another sistagirl replaces you.

pele o.

davidylan:

Chill o! Is this the sistawoman who just got married?   This is what you get when you spend too much time talking ABOUT your marriage rather than working to protect it.

[b]My father once said - never marry a woman who can't control herself when she is angry. [/b]Now that i'm older i think its one of the wisest sayings i ever heard. Kudos to you sis . . . when your husband starts staying outside the home it wont be long before another sistagirl replaces you.

pele o.

why does this ring a bell. . . .

Ruby_Pearl:

I'm sorry, I'm actually laying emphasis on all of them. Just thought to pick the one month length.

So, ignoring my husband will earn me the special treatment?

ok since u r talking about d special treatment,do me a favour,wneva u have a misunderstanding wt ur hubby,always do d begging ok,infact b4 he even says sorry make sure u r d one telling him sorry ,im sure dat will earn u d special treatment

divorce ke!! kilagbe kileju

sistawoman pls take it easy oo, i beg u oo

im definately sure say na only bleeping dem fit take solve this matter

sistawoman:

The nasty messages were this am at 730am before i left for work.  My tone softened as the day went on.

My last message was very soft but it will be my last message.  I called at 630pm to hold out the olive branch but accept it or not he has to make the choice and live with that decison.  If his pride/ego is too big to work out this small thing then it is better that he stay at his apartment and make another appointment for a divorce lawyer.

what rude, nasty wife you are.   How did you hoodwink that fellow to marrying you? Instead of going to beg him you are here bluffing?  

mesmya:

ok since you're talking about d special treatment,do me a favour,wneva u have a misunderstanding wt your hubby,always do d begging ok,infact before he even says sorry make sure you're d one telling him sorry ,im sure that will earn u d special treatment

abeg o dont teach Ruby bad things. She's just ok as she is e joo.

davidylan:

abeg o don't teach Ruby bad things.  She's just ok as she is e joo.

no ,dats y i dey give am dis advise,make she dey always make peace ,and all shall be well

sistawoman:


How exactly should i do that since he took the truck and the kids are here at home?

you're going to have to find a way to see him face to face ,maybe you should take a cab and take the kids along with you if they can't stay at a friends place for a few hours.
if you really want to end this,you'll have to make a physical move.Texts and phonecalls are only aggravating the situation.

i tried not to call again but just did.

he picked the call this time but would not speak to me.  I just spoke into a silent phone and asked that he please break the silence with me, come home and allow us to work this out.  I reminded him of our wedding day and i could hear him crying.  I apoligized for the nasty voicemails and texts and lying to him and not trusting that he could understand the truth.

I love him with all my heart and I am hoping and praying that God softens his heart long enough for him to come home.  At least let me lay eyes on him this day before i close mine.

I miss my husband and I love him so much.  I cant believe this is happening to me.

The nasty voicemail and text messages this morning was me flying off the cuff at him because i woke up to him not being home and the truck gone. He left me a text message that he took the truck. Not only did he take the truck but he went in my dam purse took my keys to the truck and took off.
He did not leave the money for my driver this morning.
And if my son missed the bus I would have had no way to get him to school.

You know, the more I see here the MORE I am willing to bet your husband is using the whole "sarcasm incident" as a way to act up. To do whathe's been WANTING TO DO but now has an excuse to do so

Did you get to check what state he's from

KarmaMod:

You know, the more I see here the MORE I am willing to bet your husband is using the whole "sarcasm incident" as a way to act up. To do whathe's been WANTING TO DO but now has an excuse to do so

Did you get to check what state he's from 

u know,can i buy u a drink?

sistawoman:

i tried not to call again but just did.

he picked the call this time but would not speak to me.  I just spoke into a silent phone and asked that he please break the silence with me, come home and allow us to work this out.  I reminded him of our wedding day and i could hear him crying.  I apoligized for the nasty voicemails and texts and lying to him and not trusting that he could understand the truth.

I love him with all my heart and I am hoping and praying that God softens his heart long enough for him to come home.  At least let me lay eyes on him this day before i close mine.

I miss my husband and I love him so much.  I can't believe this is happening to me.

sorry to say dis but ur man is a little bit imature

a man dat will leave his house for dis little misunderstanding is not supposed to be called a husband

chamotex:

kilagbe kileju

rotfl. . . . that phrase brings back memories!!

mesmya:

ok since you're talking about d special treatment,do me a favour,wneva u have a misunderstanding wt your hubby,always do d begging ok,infact before he even says sorry make sure you're d one telling him sorry ,im sure that will earn u d special treatment

That I cannot do.
I will not apologize if the mistake is on his side, I need not apologize.
And I'll def not ignore him. . . . I just learned that a few days or weeks back.

davidylan:

abeg o don't teach Ruby bad things. She's just ok as she is e joo.

Tell them o, I don't get angry

sistawoman:

i tried not to call again but just did.

he picked the call this time but would not speak to me.  I just spoke into a silent phone and asked that he please break the silence with me, come home and allow us to work this out.  I reminded him of our wedding day and i could hear him crying.  I apoligized for the nasty voicemails and texts and lying to him and not trusting that he could understand the truth.

I love him with all my heart and I am hoping and praying that God softens his heart long enough for him to come home.  At least let me lay eyes on him this day before i close mine.

I miss my husband and I love him so much.  I can't believe this is happening to me.

Ahhhh now you are begging? Where is the dignity in that? Any ways. . . . . you need end all this high school acts of texting and calling and leaving voice mails. You sound like one of my friends when she had a fight with her boyfriend when i we were sixteen. Instead of calling him on the phone tryna be "sweet", got off the freakin phone, log off the dog gone computer and GO CONFRONT HIM!. And whatever you do, be sincere. No crocodile tears, no begging like a dog, and no attitude. Just start acting like a married woman and not a high school love puppy.

KarmaMod:

You know, the more I see here the MORE I am willing to bet your husband is using the whole "sarcasm incident" as a way to act up. To do whathe's been WANTING TO DO but now has an excuse to do so

Did you get to check what state he's from

Stop dreaming there.   Only a woolhead can stand a woman who sends him nasty text messages, lies and blows her top like a volcano. I for one would have long left not to talk of marrying the chic. As usual its the "blame the fellow" game here.

Sistawoman, spend less time on NL and more time understanding your husband.

madam mesmya you don marry?

when you too get married, tell us where all this passive aggressive not apologising will get you

I like people like onyinye who know they have natural obstinacy but will override it and do the right thing, keep excusing your strong - head. Na dis kain man go fit you pass - two head strong people.

all these attempts to read more into the situation are likely inaccurate - you are only hearing sistawoman's side of the story. . . .only God knows what she said in the nasty voicemails and texts she sent. . . . . now thinking that softer messages will erase the hurt. The truth is that, its always more difficult to quench a fire when you start it and fuel it.

The man is being an ass, but I suspect the moment he begins to rethink his actions is when she comes in with one of her insulting messages and gets him all riled up again.

mesmya:

sorry to say this but your man is a little bit imature

a man that will leave his house for this little misunderstanding is not supposed to be called a husband

What do you know.
Miracles happen!! I just agreed wiv you on this topic, by this post sha

sistawoman:

he picked the call this time but would not speak to me. I just spoke into a silent phone and asked that he please break the silence with me, come home and allow us to work this out. I reminded him of our wedding day and i could hear him crying.

Lol that's how those "Anambra Yorubas" do.

Sista, I am begging you. Before you go crazy, FIND OUT ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND. Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

He's "angry" about you lying about not babyig yiur kids. He told you he's Yoruba and from Anambra. Abegi. Something is UP