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A Racial-marriage Problem! - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Marriage Problem / Inter-racial Marriage: Nigerian Men Vs Nigerian Women (2) (3) (4)

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Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by akininNC(m): 8:58pm On Oct 06, 2008
@Leilah


Whats wrong with wanting an Irish lass, just keeping my options open! After all you are half Irish, and we have been conversing, I might be an Anglophile maybe American women are not for me! Most Nigerian women do not do any of that pampering, this is 2008 most of them have seen the light. If you want that type of woman you better go back to the village.
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by Leilah(f): 3:44pm On Oct 07, 2008
Akin, thats why most DO go back to villages.
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by wpeller(f): 3:57pm On Oct 07, 2008
neva mind at all.u dont need to trouble urself because ur husband want to dump u for another woman.i think u should be calm and see the outcome,may be u are not destined to marry each other at first and if u are a knd of person that God cherich,He will not allow u to suffer in your old age.But be very careful with him and dont allow him to take away ur son
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by chachag(f): 7:22pm On Oct 07, 2008
my dear Tara i feel u, i know u r going through serious pain now but i must tell u that u r not the only one or not cos u r not a nigerian, Nigerian men (almost all) are so mean and wicked, am a nigerian & got marrried to a Nigerian from same State and Local Govt but if i tell u wht am going through now u will not beleive it so dear ur hubby is just using that as an excuse to cheat on u, so dear if u can pray just pray and leave eveything to God. my case too is that my laws loves me so much, my mother said the day i will pack out of his son house will be the that she will die

if not for the child i have with him i would have gone by now cos he does not worth me, My son is just a year and 2wks now
so been a Nigerian or not will not make any different
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by Leilah(f): 11:43pm On Oct 07, 2008
thats right dear. I know someone dearest to me and this lady has a very horrific marriage. he treats her like a slave, cheats on her, calls her names, buys her nothing, she works all the hours god sent.
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by kiwi992(m): 4:31pm On Oct 08, 2008
Hey Leilah,


You sound as though you are bitter.  Why?

Why don't you keep an open mind to the marriage, instead of constantly expecting the worst?  Just hope for the best and take things as they come.  Never think negative of your marriage and what might happen in the future.

As regards his helping you with the domestic chores, put your arm round him and in a loving manner, just say to him:

could you please give me a hand with some of the household chores?

You then go on to say:

I'm not forcing you to and you don't have to help me if you don't want to, it's just that I feel so tired having to do everything, especially with me having to go to work as well as studying.

The way you put it across to him would make him feel guilty and from then onwards, would wish to help.  Just ask nicely and I guarantee you that he would definitely help-out and indeed, be happy to do so. 

Never, ever lose your cool - be calm but firm. 

Good luck.   



kiwi992.
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by Leilah(f): 4:50pm On Oct 08, 2008
Very good kiwi, I will try that also.  cool

thanks!!
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by tara85(f): 12:44am On Oct 19, 2008
Hi. Things are getting tougher, that slut that calls herself a Yoruba woman and reads the bible is now ringing up my in laws. Is it because she is Yoruba she thinks she can steal my husband and that she is superior? What a fake troublemking LovePeddler! I know for a fact that any man or woman that believes in god and reads the bible would not go have a sexual relationship with a married man. She will marry my husband not even over my dead body.I am sure because I am white thats why she think's she has a superiorty over me. She has another thing coming.
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by Outstrip(f): 3:27am On Oct 19, 2008
Tara shut up please. Why don't you direct that anger to your husband
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by Angolobabe(f): 3:32am On Oct 19, 2008
please do take it easy on urself ur still very young, i do know ur going through a tough time now but please do move on with life and be strong for ur baby cos she needs u .
interracial marriages are hardest of all.
she is definately not a born again christain sleeping with ur husband and wanting to marry a married man.dont sign the divorce paper let him suffer on trying to get that,go now and make him start paying child support cos now ur baby comes first.
this is exactly why i dont like dating nigerian men cos i dont want to share my husband with a second wife or they also do this to there fellow nigerians if they are not from the same tribe,do take heart.
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by Leilah(f): 7:59pm On Oct 20, 2008
she will win him over you,obviously he wants her, so let them be. Thats why you need to redirect your anger to immigration division.  wink see he needs a woman from his own culture, don't take it personally, just be thankfull and move on. They always prefer their full blooded naija.

Hey Angolobabe, did yu marry a white guy?

Tara attacking the lady is not going to help. Its him, he wants her just as much as she wants him. I bet she is already pregnant! how can you forgive a man that is sleeping with another woman while he is married to you. She is from his tribe at the end of the day and thats what he wanted so leave them be. Its too late now love, and even if it wasnt the deed is done. No harm in crying over spilt milk now. The in laws are only to happy for them both you'll find. You need to punish HIM. I guarantee you he sucked her in by telling her he married you only for papers.

tara, also I know of another white lady whose husband got another african lady from another african country pregnant, she had the baby and they are engaged to be married now. reason be is that some women dont even see oyibo/naija marriage as bein ligit so they don't care about stealing these men.
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by Arnold1(m): 9:06pm On Oct 20, 2008
tara85:

Hi. Things are getting tougher, that slut that calls herself a Yoruba woman and reads the bible is now ringing up my in laws.

Is it because she is Yoruba

she thinks she can steal my husband and that she is superior? What a fake troublemking LovePeddler! I know for a fact that any man or woman that believes in god and reads the bible would not go have a sexual relationship with a married man. She will marry my husband not even over my dead body.I am sure because I am white thats why she think's she has a superiorty over me. She has another thing coming.




[size=13pt]
tara85 is a prominent nairaland member but she wouldn't use her real user

name because she is a coward.[/size]

Seun can verify tara85's IP address, I bet someone else uses it too on this forum
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by Arnold1(m): 9:18pm On Oct 20, 2008
A foreigner (welch woman, supposedly grin) wouldn't place so much emphasis on the tribe the Nigerian man (or the woman he is dating
on the side) is from.

Unless such woman has been couched by some Nigerian, she wouldn't be making such tribal distinctions.


Why are some Nairalanders such cowards ? Why can't they speak their mind with one username ? pitiful lipsrsealed



[size=13pt]
tara85 is a prominent nairaland member but she wouldn't use her real user

name because she is a coward.[/size]
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by Arnold1(m): 9:24pm On Oct 20, 2008
Thanks to this post from SimiBrasil, we can see that the behavior tara85 is describing is not unique to any Nigerian tribe


SimiBrasil:


Almost the same had happened with me
I am black, in my case the point is I am not Igbo cool I am Brazilian [/b]and the family didnt accept me.
Nigerian women are better than us because N reasons in their parents mind.
Give up !
This culture is too strong and you can't broken the rules, we will never will behave as nigerian women behave.
I just don't understand why he got married and make a son with you. Are you american ? if you say yes, I ll guess is because greencard.



[size=13pt][b]
tara85 is a prominent nairaland member but she wouldn't use her real user

name because she is a coward.[/size]
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by Leilah(f): 7:39pm On Oct 21, 2008
oooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhh!!

whats going on here?

I doubt that tara is someone else?

What makes you think that? is there something I dont know here?
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by Leilah(f): 7:42pm On Oct 21, 2008
So what prominent member is she Arnold?

The girl needs help not this!
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by plappville(f): 10:48am On Oct 22, 2008
Know what I reckon she really is pregnant. So leave them be and as I have said it will be the biggest kick in the ass he will ever get if you report him. There is no point in hanging around annoying yourself, let him have his 'real wifey, know what he will cheat on her too I bet. Take your son away from the like of him. Let him apply for LEGAL CUSTODY. Punish him by doing that also. I bet that girl really bloody well is pregnant. So, before she gets her papers to stay in UK also just like he did report THEM NOW.

I'm tellling you Tara people will actually give up on you. That is just unbelievable!!!! let him stay with his own kind who is now pregnant for him. So they definetely will be married all becuase he USED YOU FOR PAPERS don't let him away with this! get them both deported at once!!!


I THINK ((((Leilah)))) made sence in this post.

This is unfair, ur husband is not been faithful, if he is to judge ur race he wouldn't have approached u as a white woman at the first place.

But all thesame, I ve heard so much of this kind of stories about 9ja men, even most 9ja girls abraod rejects them, this has nothing to do with race.
They are creating bad image for those who have good intention to marry a color woman for real.
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by Hugger: 12:23pm On Oct 22, 2008
Maybe the man does not love her again. Women in Europe do that a lot. They stop loving their husbands and find another man but they dont like it when a man does it to them
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by Angolobabe(f): 1:15pm On Oct 22, 2008
Yes Leilah,my husband is european and i dont like hearing this kind of story about interracial marriages as they are spoiling the name of other nigerians that are married to white for real.

Leilah:


Hey Angolobabe, did yu marry a white guy?

Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by BabyJinx: 1:55pm On Oct 22, 2008
[/quote][quote author=Arnold1 link=topic=177372.msg2970196#msg2970196 date=1224534285]

[size=13pt]
tara85 is a prominent nairaland member but she wouldn't use her real user

name because she is a coward.[/size]

Rotflmao! And what has her real name and if she uses it or not. . .  got to do with the matter at hand? Oh I'm sorry. . .

[size=18pt]And what has her real name and if she uses it . . .  got to do with the matter at hand?
[/size]


It's amazing how people use off point to make a point and they really believe they have a point.

Jeebus!
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by BabyJinx: 1:56pm On Oct 22, 2008
Hugger:

Maybe the man does not love her again. Women in Europe do that a lot. They stop loving their husbands and find another man but they don't like it when a man does it to them

Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by Hugger: 3:47pm On Oct 22, 2008
Baby Jinx:

Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!

take it or leave it. it happens everyday.
try denying it
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by BabyJinx: 5:06pm On Oct 22, 2008
Oh I know it happens because men never stop whining about it.
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by plappville(f): 6:40pm On Oct 22, 2008
Yes Leilah,my husband is european and i don't like hearing this kind of story about interracial marriages as they are spoiling the name of other nigerians that are married to white for real.

how far angolobabe??
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by Leilah(f): 7:17pm On Oct 22, 2008
Cool Angolobabe, I bet he treats you very well wink

I bet he doesnt treat you like a slave either. Consider yourself lucky grin

I wish you only the best of wishes.
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by Angolobabe(f): 9:44am On Oct 23, 2008
im very lucky my husband is so good to me,there is no room for him to treat me like a slave as his ass will be at the door if he ever tries that with me.he is just not that type of man.
i also wish u the best in ur marriage.

Leilah:

Cool Angolobabe, I bet he treats you very well wink

I bet he doesnt treat you like a slave either. Consider yourself lucky grin

I wish you only the best of wishes.


Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by plappville(f): 9:52am On Oct 23, 2008
Angolobabe:

I'm very lucky my husband is so good to me,there is no room for him to treat me like a slave as his ass will be at the door if he ever tries that with me.he is just not that type of man.
i also wish u the best in ur marriage.


LUCKY WOMAN HOW FAR, I DID'T SEE U ON YAHOO ABI U DEY HID?
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by Angolobabe(f): 10:31am On Oct 23, 2008
Hi dear,im fine just doing some domestic chores right now i will be on yahoo chat in 10/15 minutes time,see ya later
plappville:

LUCKY WOMAN HOW FAR, I DID'T SEE U ON YAHOO ABI U DEY HID?


Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by Arnold1(m): 3:27pm On Oct 24, 2008
Baby Jinx:


Rotflmao! And what has her real name and if she uses it or not. . . got to do with the matter at hand? Oh I'm sorry. . .


The fact that the person using tara85 has another name shows the person is trying to claim two identities.
It shows the person is displaying their tribalism towards the yoruba tribe, but doesn't want to be seen
as such

Baby Jinx:


And what has her real name and if she uses it . . . got to do with the matter at hand?



It's amazing how people use off point to make a point and they really believe they have a point.

Jeebus!


If someone is using a fake name, how do you know the story they are telling is not fake ?

Listen, Baby Jinx and Leilah, we have had people pose fake threads like this before on this forum.

The fact that tara85 specifically mentioned yoruba in her first post and then asked whether
being yoruba had anything to do with his/her behavior, gave away tara85's hidden agenda.

Tara85 is actually Nigerian and not welch. If tara85 was indeed welch, she would've been
back to get responses regarding her inquiry, but that is clearly not the case.

If you don't believe me, send an email to this forum's administrator (Seun Osewa)

at


Ask him to see if the IP address of tara85 matches that of any other user on nairaland
and you'll see what I'm saying.

By the way, why hasn't this cowardly bigot tara85 refuted my claim ? Go figure.


[size=13pt]
tara85 is a prominent nairaland member but she wouldn't use her real user

name because she is a coward.[/size]
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by Arnold1(m): 3:54pm On Oct 24, 2008
This is the first post ever from tara85 (see bolded)



tara85:


I am married to a Yoruba man from Nigeria for the past four years. I am a Welsh woman from Wales and I am 23 years old. My husband is 6 years older than me. We got married in Lagos in 2004. We have one son who will be 4 soon. In the past few months my husband has changed, he wants to go back to Nigeria in 2 years time but without me. So he has started seeing a woman , a yoruba woman. He said because I am white I can never live in Nigeria and that really hurts me. I live for my husband and my son. I would do anything for my husband , but he says because I am white I can never be a Yoruba woman. But he has only known this woman for 5 Months and I am worried about him. I may be a white woman , not Yoruba, but I love my husband and I would literally do anything for him. Does race really matter that my husband has dumped my son and I for someone he barely knows. Is it really that important? I have been to Nigeria twice and I love it. My in laws call me all the time to tell me that I am the only wife they recognize and that they love me. Please I need some advice from Nigerians' because I just don't understand.


Then tara85 asks this question here:

tara85:

Hi. Things are getting tougher, that slut that calls herself a Yoruba woman and reads the bible is now ringing up my in laws.

Is it because she is Yoruba she thinks she can steal my husband and that she is superior? What a fake troublemking LovePeddler! I know for a fact that any man or woman that believes in god and reads the bible would not go have a sexual relationship with a married man. She will marry my husband not even over my dead body.I am sure because I am white thats why she think's she has a superiorty over me. She has another thing coming.



You see, a true welch woman would not place so much emphasis on her man or his mistress being yoruba. It is Nigerian that should
be coming out of her mouth, not yoruba.

Most non-Nigerian women doing inquiries on this forum never even mention the tribe of their mate. Nine times out of ten, Nairalanders are the ones who pry out this
information (their tribe) out of them.



[size=13pt]
tara85 is a prominent nairaland member but she wouldn't use her real user

name because she is a coward.[/size]
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by Leilah(f): 9:24pm On Oct 24, 2008
hhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmm

Well hugger, you can't just turn around and say all european women don't love their husbands and would walk away in a heartbeat. I have seen some of them that are even more patient than some 'ngozies' themselves. Thats like me saying all nigerians are 419ers angry

@Arnold, if I were in that situation (hypothetically) I would also probably quote the word 'igbo' for eg out of anger. Just because she mentioned 'yoruba' twice or thrice doesnt necessarily mean she is a nigerian pretending to be oyinbo why would someone do that? sure we all know how the cookie crumbles don't we? its the condition that makes the crayfish bend so what have we got to gain by pretending to be an oyibo?? -but then again you may know more than I would about this matter to a cerain degree.
Tara where are you please?
Re: A Racial-marriage Problem! by Leilah(f): 9:33pm On Oct 24, 2008
Unless its another libber trying to teach women another lesson.  undecided

if that is indeed the case its going to be very hard because in some cases, its impossible to teach women a lesson. sad

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