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The One Word That Kills Adult Friendships / Friendships With Opposite Sex In Marriage / (ladies) Why Are Most Female Friendships Short Lived? (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by Guidette(f): 5:24pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
Okay i amjust going to say it. Yes! I amquite shallow in terms of looks and who I am attracted to have a relationship with. My best friend is good looking but doesnt do anything for me in terms of sexual attraction. We have our common interests and has always been the only person who understands me inside out. But i repeat, i amnot attracted to him. How hard is it for people to understand that. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by Nobody: 5:27pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
shaggy007: You guyz have made very nice points. But let me tell you what is really going on. Guys don't change, girls don't change. They are simply being their true selves. Adopted ! |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by MrRenaissance: 5:32pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
opylas: @embolden, I've addressed it in my earlier posts. I explicitly wrote that if she'd developed feelings for me, I don't know and she didn't tell me. So you can't blame me. About the 'polishing', I understood you perfectly. I also said it's possible to develop feelings for your best friend, so once that happens, the party in love should man up and open up. It saves unnecessary stress/grudges. Even if he or she turns you down, you move on with your life whilst still being friends with her. Of course it'd hurt when she leaves you for another guy/turn you down, but it's the 'mature' thing to do (I.e opening up to her). Who knows, she might even feel the same way about you. So when you feel the way you felt after 'polishing' her and felt you ought to be the one wearing the 'shoe' (her), let her know about that. 1 Like |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by uceee(m): 5:32pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
Good topic. Most times, cross gender friendships are skewed in the girls' favour cos the guys wanna be heroes who can take care of things. It takes a really mature, nice girl to curb the guy's heroic tendencies a bit and actually contribute to the friendship, else she will just sit back and enjoy until the guy who has been performing the role of a boyfriend wants to legitimise the relationship. Some girls just feel that even allowing you to call them is a favour. If you don't want your guy-friend to ask you out soon, don't allow him slip into the role of a boyfriend. Gently discourage it. 1 Like |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by ERTHAENIGMA(m): 5:33pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
Richiy:in this case scenario,that 1 is infinitesimal |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by ERTHAENIGMA(m): 5:34pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
Guidette:there are,none up to 6yrs though. That is just wrong. Haba! |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by MrRenaissance: 5:35pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
Guidette: |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by niceeric(m): 5:47pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
girls would never b truthful wen it comes to matters like this,be friend zoning guys for selfish benefits,my advice to my guys though,dont b a nice guy,youll end up being a friend.....a comfort pillow for her wen d bad guy screws up and wen u think u av her to ur self, she makes up with d bad guy and you're bk to d zone after spending time and money on a lost cause.....stay sharp,no friends |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by Richiy(f): 6:00pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
ERTHAENIGMA:You still cannot ignore that one because in larger quantity, it could be large. |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by BlackBaron: 6:19pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
Disagree a tad with the OP. Here goes mine; I've got 2 tier of friends... 'Close friends' & 'Friends' Now my 'close friends' would go the distance for likewise I for them. (lend money, pay on my behalf, advice, help do some work and so) Now I have evaluated and simply moved almost all females anda few down to tier 2 cos they'll just take the piss without offering you a commensurate effort.(not even sex) 'Friends' on the other hand I offer just about to do limited stuff for. This means out of ten requests I'll do probably 3-4. So there goes, you can indeed be friends with...just make sure you don't get used 'because she's a girl ' |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by Nobody: 6:23pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
Mynd_44: He should be the shoulder when necessary, e doesn't really ave to expect things in return. For them to even be friends, e should ave considered the fact that she is female after all and tender. He should take her shortcomings jor. If she gets hurt, of course she is gonna run to him, he is her friend. Guys are only good friends when they ave favors to ask for. It's not about relationships, it's about being a good friend and not minding if you remain in the friend zone, did you come with a different agenda? I don't see why guys offer friendship when they want something else. |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by Atmmachine(m): 6:32pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
Girls are whores |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by chuxyz(m): 6:37pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
Ishilove:Oloriburuku version 2.0 na ihn you be. Bragging about your friend - a lecturer in canada. You for tell us how many cars in get and his salary so that we go clap for you. How does his occupation and location fits into the arguement or how does it give points to your statement? Olodo rabata oju eja lo mo n je... He tells you everything but ihn no gree teach you make you get small sense. Get lost! Loser |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by Nobody: 6:39pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
chuxyz: You have a problem. |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by defendedvictim(m): 6:49pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
Ishilove: Op, I don't know what you're talking about. One of my closest friends is a guy who I've known for 15yrs now( since secondary school). He lectures in Canada now, but not once has there ever been any awkwardness between us. There is almost nothing we can't tell each other, and never once have we ever had the issues you mentioned. He's a friend and a brother, and our friendship waxes stronger...d guy z in a very serious friend zone! is he married? jst joking sha. cross gender friendships r cool but SOMETYMS or most tyms, it gets awkward cos one of d parties z Nt giving in much into d friendship n d oda person feels used. d fact dat ur own cross gender friendship looks so perfect doesn't cancel out d fact dat others ain't finding it funny |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by ihedinobi2: 6:54pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
Mr Renaissance: I wonder at your terming a desire to date a lady an ulterior motive. Should one date a total stranger? What exactly is wrong with deliberately becoming besties with a girl because you already like her and would like to date her? I don't personally roll like that because once I already am romantically attracted to a girl I have no relationship with, I stay away from her. It's a discipline I built into myself to manage my sexuality properly. Having said that, you remained good friends with her and apparently close friends too but you don't plan to date her, right? Ok, here's why I don't believe that you both have no romantic interest in her and also trust her with your deepest secrets: you don't talk to her about your wife. Or do you? I'll bet you're not married yet. The kind of friendship that has romance naturally woven into is the one where you can get emotionally and intellectually naked with someone - you can trust them with anything. It is impossible to give that kind of frienship and not get tangled up emotionally. The problem with today's generation is the misplacement of priorities. We think that raging hormones is the first indication of romantic love. That is such a mistake. Once you are entirely naked psychologically with someone, getting naked with them physically will work beyond your expectation even though it would never be your first thought. I've seen it before. One day you have zero sexxual interest in somebody, the next you can't get enough of them. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by obstead200(m): 6:56pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
dlux: Why be just friends when we can Bleep & still be best of friends. Ladies take it too personal. If she wants to be just friends then don't ask me to get outta line or do things your bf or husband should do.u just summarised my entire line of thinking |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by Nobody: 6:59pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
Bigggg olodo you are..did you even read the post properly Richiy: You forgot to mention the fact that most guys would not consciously appreciate that girl that goes the extra mile for them. Rather, they would go around chasing girls that have no regard for them and end up screaming that girls are heartless. Let every guy check their lives, there is always that girl that is different but they become so used to her that they put her in the background. |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by obstead200(m): 7:01pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
yeyenatu:Please go back to sleep. Cos u just woke up in Jupiter. What a load of bullcrap u are spewing outta Ur lips!! I can sense the density and smell the odour of selfishness in Ur post. |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by Nobody: 7:05pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
obstead200: Ermm. Smh. Hehehehe... people and their verbal attacks. clap for yourself, you just made an impression. I'm a new leaf now *sighs* ..actually my bad, I didn't read all. BTW @op: you really shouldn't generaliZe. Some times guys take a gift as a gesture of something else. Thats why when I am with my friends, mostly male, they see me as one of the 'guys'. I am even the one to tease them about girls and our 'packages'. I do know how to fix a flat, and paint my house and help with furniture. Buh he is my friend, and he needs to say something to me if he doesn't feel comfortable. I do, if my guy friends mess up, I tell them so e should do te same and not act up on me. But I get your point, there is nothing wrong with hosting the guys, drinks and pepper soup under the moonlight while 'olamide' sings his good nansense from the speakers. Ladies, try to appreciate the men in your life. Regardless of ow useful they are. Even the lazy ones can turn out useful one day. |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by lionsgate: 7:32pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
Mynd_44:it dosnt matter. |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by Nobody: 7:34pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
EnlightenedSoul: You are Alive!! Come Here #Hugs Her... 1 Like |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by Richiy(f): 7:39pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
desdichando: Bigggg olodo you are..did you even read the post properlyYou have absolutely no right to insult me. I did nothing to you. How do you reason?*spits* |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by ayorwizz(m): 8:05pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
dyt babe: HollaWe making noise....holla! Holla holla holla! Holla! *doing my crunk dance* *fistbump* babes....u correct like nike |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by jaybee3(m): 8:12pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
@uju Can you please be my friend, i don't mind being assigned the role of bed warmer |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by ihedinobi2: 8:12pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
This is a simple matter o. Girls like keeping guy bff's. So keep them. Some guys don't like keeping girl bff's. So don't. Some guys like it. So do. If you keep guy or girl bff's and romance becomes a problem, deal with it. If you don't and choosing a spouse becomes a problem, deal with it. No more complaining. Case closed. 2 Likes |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by ayorwizz(m): 8:18pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
Buh on a ril tho'....God punish any form of zoning sha, ontop wetin? Plus shoutoout to dem ladies dat go "I prefer keeping male friends to female ones, dey cme wit less drama"...lol, wash.....all of us knw say na Ash*wo syndrome dey worry una Lastly, my girl is only allowed to av 3 male besties, the father, the son and the holy spirit, shikena *in my "lock-up" face* |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by Nobody: 8:40pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
MOST guys would want something in return, which most times would translate into something intimate. That is the plain truth. When a guy is really interested in being close friends with a particular girl without actually nursing any feeling of having anything intimate with her, the guy may be gay. This doesn't apply to all cases so I wouldn't generalise. It's the plain truth. So girls, make us your friends and worry not. |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by UjSizzle(f): 9:33pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
jay bee: @ujuI'll need to assess your physical attributes and stamina first |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by Nobody: 10:28pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
D op talking, and some guys here complaining that 2 be a nice guy 2 ladies, mean ladies are bn selfish and using them, abi?? Ok, see my own scenario.. Why do pple have frnds? So they can help one and another and also be a source of companionship in terms of joyful moments, or a listening 2 sad moments. Wit my female frnds, I don't av d kind of problem guyz complain about. My female frnds we help each other , in every way except having sex 2gether. They don't demand for gifts 2 appreciate their efforts. Most of my gfs, simply want u 2 be there 4 them in a very reasonable way. But wit guyz, if a guy helps u 2 change yur tyre for courtesy sake?,he prefers u pay up wit sex, that tip of money is not enough. If a guy lends u money, which u will pay back d exact amount in full, he still wants 2 either touch yur boobies or av sex or possibly a fling, but @subtle he will give u hints of such . Also if a guy. Also if he's yur guy frnd, and he's always available 2 listen 2 yur troubles , uv had in a day, after some few days, he expects, u shud be warming his bed, as per bn his gf. Now if I may ask, cos I knw how many male frnds I av in d frnd zone and who helps me one way or d other.. And I usually tell most of them, Do. I nid av 2 fuvk everyone of u, so that u se me as a nice person?.. Is my frndship of no strings attached not enough??... Must I become a LovePeddler 2 make everyone of u happy?... 4 christsakes, wat do u take me 4?.. There and then, some guys will stay wit me, while some will quarrel wit me and go.. Who cares??..smh..Buck off jorr.. My toto don turn 2 charity Organization?... Abeggi..! So for d upteethe time, I prefer my gfs 2 bfs.. We ladies understands ourselves. We don over demand each other time or space because u r helping.. Men stop bn selfish for once, abi, una go begin fuvk una male frnds, anytime he helps out. Be reasonable guys! |
Re: Why Cross-Gender Friendships Don't Work by texanomaly(f): 10:30pm On Jun 29, 2014 |
imustsaymymindo: Okay then... |
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