sistawoman:

If i knew then what i know now I would have made betta choices.

Please baby listen to this 33 year old woman. Do not have this child, do not have this child, do not have this child.

Please learn from your mistakes, correct it now before it is too late and finish your studies. Leave the boys alone.

bless 4 ur advice
but i think either way she would still feel the pain
and i felt that emotional pain would be worse

Im strongly against abortion. Why try to kill an innocent soul. Having the baby is not the end of the world although its going to be pretty difficult. I think this girl needs every help and support necessary especially her family. Since she's in the UK, there are also other various supports she could get. Abortion could be very dangerous at her age and the only reason she should consider abortion is only through medical advise or reasons.

Akinagirl:

As much as I despise abortion other than for clinical reasons, I do not think she should have this child. And also terminating it would also have to depend on how far along she is. Hence, complications could be worse. Now, also do not let any one from here influence your decision to abort or not to abort. The only one that can make this decision is the one wearing the shoes. I haven't been in this situation. But you really need to advice you friend and tell her that you will be there for her no matter what. But please tell a matured adult. Because no one should go through this alone. She is only 14 she will need all the help she can get. So weigh you options. She might end up having more support from the one person she does not want to tell. Her mother. So please whatever you do, make a swift decision, time is on the line here. The pregnancy will only grow with each passing day, so the quicker you make a decision to do something about it the better.

i love you baby
i took my time to read this and that was the exact idea that i had in mind
thank u so much

youngmonie:

origina9ja, whd up ohhhh, u dint tel me that ur sis was preg , hu preg her?, hasnt she heard of condoms or pills?

i jst findout aswell
it sum stupid guy like that
imagine after all da sex education

sex education indeed. another made in england untouchable reproducing themself quickly. dont dare kill this child this could be next naija president. this is how we use abortion kill all the good ones see the bad heads that were forced to come replace them in nigeria tearing the place apart now.

i used to know a 29yrs old gran ma. just do the maths and see circle line coming alive

hhmmmm, origina9ja, origina9ja, origina9ja, how many times i call you? read my previous post O! LET HER FAMILY KNOW! she will hate you forever if anything goes wrong. If she survives, that is. Responsibility for her well-being falls first to her family, not to any friend or confidante. Whatever decision they take is entirely up to them. She's still dependent and should not take any independent decision as big as abortion or no abortion. I'm surprised that adults on this thread have been saying she should go and get one. Tell her you love and care for her that's why you are ratting on her (after you do).

i ain't gona lie she told me about her man
and i kind of know she was eaten the forbidden fruit but
never knew she could be this stupid 

it sum stupid guy like that
imagine after all da sex education

I must say I was disappointed when i read where you said you were aware a 14-year-old had "a man" and all you gave her was sex education and a thumbs up. Only thing you have to say now is that she was stupid to get pregnant "after all the sex education". You are an accomplice to a crime, in case you didn't know - STATUTORY RAPE.

May God protect our kids from "friends/sisters/confidantes" like you.

wat da Bleep
i meant after all the sex educAtion from skool
i never said i gave her sex education

carmelily:

hhmmmm, origina9ja, origina9ja, origina9ja, how many times i call you? read my previous post O! LET HER FAMILY KNOW! she will hate you forever if anything goes wrong. If she survives, that is. Responsibility for her well-being falls first to her family, not to any friend or confidante. Whatever decision they take is entirely up to them. She's still dependent and should not take any independent decision as big as abortion or no abortion. I'm surprised that adults on this thread have been saying she should go and get one. Tell her you love and care for her that's why you are ratting on her (after you do).


I must say I was disappointed when i read where you said you were aware a 14-year-old had "a man" and all you gave her was sex education and a thumbs up. Only thing you have to say now is that she was stupid to get pregnant "after all the sex education". You are an accomplice to a crime, in case you didn't know - STATUTORY RAPE.

May God protect our kids from "friends/sisters/confidantes" like you.

have mercy on my sister pls. na so this made in england kids they do old people thing. sadly the parents have to make moneyto build houses they dont need and pay mortgages here too. this may sound harsh but i believe the govt should have stopped paying child benefits to naija and ghana women yrs ago because it encouraged them to bring into this world council flat kids and kids many of them dont have time for. they have abused the system and these kids are still being abused till today

true talk

origina9ja:

what da Bleep
i meant after all the sex educAtion from school
i never said i gave her sex education

ok, dear, no split hairs. i apologise for the misunderstanding. what about the "i knew she had a man  and was eating the forbidden fruit" bit?

yeah so u cnt have a friend boy
wat wrong wif dat mrs born again

carmelily:

ok, dear, no split hairs. i apologise for the misunderstanding. what about the "i knew she had a man  and was eating the forbidden fruit" bit?

lets now have mercy on this kid.  

origina9ja:

yeah so u cnt have a friend boy
what wrong with that mrs born again

friend boy.  more an enemy boy.please [b] origina9ja [/b] go tell the mum quick and you better stop yours now if you do this ugly business because this could have easily been you too.  i don't know why these kids put this stress on themselves.  illicit sex is joy and destiny stealer

origina9ja:

yeah so u cnt have a friend boy
what wrong with that mrs born again

I can have a "friend boy" o. Nothing wrong with that. i'm over 18 and wouldn't need a friend posting topics on some forum for me if i got pregnant

From your title, you regard your friend/sister as a "child" who has a "man".

and PLEASE i'm happily not "born again".

The reason i asked if she lived in Nigeria or the UK was because she has access to better clinics in the UK then in Nigeria.

If you take to a licenced clinic the chances of her having complications is minimal.

Additionally think of the years of regret, the years of being a single mom, and having to be tied to this man for the rest of her life.  Fighting for child support, fighting for him to be a father and still winding up on her own raising a baby.  Think about the miss opportunities for University and the like.  I am not saying that she cant do with a  child but the extra burden can be released from her right now.

She made a mistake but i pray that she does not compound this mistake by having a baby at such a young age.  She will wind up pregnant in another 2 years so then she will be a 16-17 year old with 2 babies and two baby daddies.  This is not the future I would want for any child.

Someone said that they are surprised that the adults on this board are advocating for abortion, the reason being for me at least is that this childs future is about to be destroyed, made harder than it should be and i really just cant sit by idly and watch it happening w/o adding my two cents.

Please, please listen to me.  I have been where she is sitting and trust me to have the baby is the hardest road she could travel right now.  It is NO JOKE being a single young mom.  Please take all advice and weigh it carefully.

I would love for those advocating for her to have this baby to step forward and tell us how many children you had at 14, 15, 16 and well that worked out for you.

@JJYOU

Poster says she's not a kid. Actually, she's 19 in her profile. The victim is just a younger protege.

sistawoman:

Someone said that they are surprised that the adults on this board are advocating for abortion,

@sistawoman
If i'm that "someone", read that post again, carefully. What i said is "her parents should be the ones to make the decision". If they say abortion, fine. she's their kid. Nobody else's. I've usually agreed with most of your posts, sista, but in this case i think every adult should urge the poster to tell the kid's family. Nothing else.

@origina9ja

I can have a "friend boy" o. Nothing wrong with that. i'm over 18 and wouldn't need a friend posting topics on some forum for me if i got pregnant

From your title, you regard your friend/sister as a "child" who has a "man".

and PLEASE i'm happily not "born again".

this is not about being born again and not being one neither is it about people on this forum, its about being or taking responsible actions.
she has gotten pregnant, what next,
your ist responsibility to her was messed up by your lassity and please don't mess this other opportunity to be responsible to this little sis / friend of yours
there people on this tread i enjoy reading, one of them is punching interesting stuffs right now to you, i hope you can see her.

carmelily:

@JJYOU

Poster says she's not a kid. The victim is just a younger protege.

@sistawoman
If i'm that "someone", read that post again, carefully. What i said is "her parents should be the ones to make the decision". If they say abortion, fine. she's their kid. Nobody else's. I've usually agreed with most of your posts, sista, but in this case i think every adult should urge the poster to tell the kid's family. Nothing else.

I think that she should tell her parents but truefully parents can make her have this child and then what?  Then she is saddled with this child for the rest of her life and she is responsible for it.  The parents step back and make you take care of this child on your own.

Yes she is a baby and for me I would want to know, because see i am different, for me I would let my daughter decide to go to the clinic and abort.  Some parents are so against abortion that they cant see past their religious beliefs to the benefit of the child.  I would not want her saddled with this responsibility.  Telling her parents is a difficult choice to make, unless she knows that her parents are open the abortion idea. Because if the parents are not they will force her to have this baby.

sista woman, every body is entitled to an opinion depend from where he or she views the topic, abortion or no abortion I support that the little girls perents be part of the equation, at her age she is still there responsibility and that decision belongs to them despite the shame she is causing then right now. then her big friend com sister should try to do the good education this time better that what she did the other time that resulted bad.

@sistawoman

But she's 14! 1994

@carmelily

But she's 14! 1994   

kind of yes but she is no more 14, she way more than that because of her present status, put sentiments aside please

@switosman

switosman:

at her age she is still there responsibility and that decision belongs to them

switosman:

@carmelily
she is no more 14, she way more than that because of her present status, put sentiments aside please

what sentiments?

Make up your mind, is she a kid or not?

I am not saying don’t tell the parents.  I am just trying to give her as much information as possible so that, althou she made a horrible decision to have sex w/o protection and get pregnant, she can now make a good/better decision for the rest of her life.

I am a parent and would absolutely want my child to come to me and tell me before she went and did something like this.  Only she knows were her parents stand on this issue.  Only she can take the advice offered and use it.  

I just want her to look it from all angles.

I am still waiting for a single teenage mom to step up and tell us how having the baby worked out for her.

sistawoman:

I am not saying don’t tell the parents.

I am a parent and would absolutely want my child to come to me and tell me before she went and did something like this.

Bless you. i was hoping you'd say something like this.

originanaija if her parents don't knw about it

do me a favour and tell me ,the earlier the better for u

19 is still a kid in my book. they should not be having sex let alone making babies. this is the foolish man planting his man on the main road for others to pluck johnson aja talks about. i still cant believe this child has another child on the inside growing daily. what a way to live.

what i find is appauling is when i see them on tele having to do the dna to see whose the child is without shame. sleeping around isnt cool not with the lethal diseaces going about now

young lady stop delaying go and tell now quick

You are welcome Origi9ija, but please, force her to tell an adult. Or you tell one. Like I stated before, the pregnancy is only growing.

It baffles me the way some pple think on nland!!!

Sistawoman . . a kwesion . . . .
Are you sayin' she should abort the baby?
If yes. . . . reasons pls.

_{Patiently waitin'.}

don't know why una dey surprised!! in this uk wer i dey so! notin surprises me anymore!!

av seen a 12 yr old get pregnant! bliv it or nor! that 1 na ur palava

she better tell her mum! thats the only solution! because the mum will still know!!

i dey doubt if this topic genuinty gan!

She is 14 do you need any other reason. If you do how about:

Statistics show that teenagers almost always have a second child in 2 years

She will have a much more difficult time finishing her primary education and statistics show that she wont.

If she does not finish Primary School University is out of question.

If she does finish primary, does not have a second child, University will be very difficult, even with all the help they get in the UK.

Finding a husband/man that will over look her and her child/children will be difficult even in our progressed society.

She will no longer be a child and be able to enjoy her childhood. She becomes an adult who is really a child.

Should a child really be raising another child?

If she is not going to raise then that means the grandparents will raise the child, is that really fair for them to suffer for this child making the wrong choice and failing to heed their warnings about premarital sex?

I can’t stress enough, her future is over, well maybe not over, but much more difficult then it needs to be.

best thing is to tell her parents and then see how it goes from there.

sistawoman:

She is 14 do you need any other reason.

Who says a 14 year old gurl cannot bear a child?
Who says a 14 year old gurl that tastes sugar can't taste vinegar?

sistawoman:

She will have a much more difficult time finishing her primary education and statistics show that she wont.
If she does not finish Primary School University is out of question.
If she does finish primary, does not have a second child, University will be very difficult, even with all the help they get in the UK.

Sistawoman . . . you are a motha of 3 and you talk like this?
Seriously I rated you above this stage before now.
Listen . . . . Havin' a child at 14 doesn't stop her from completin' her education.
All she needs is a wonderful and supportive mother.

sistawoman:

Finding a husband/man that will over look her and her child/children will be difficult even in our progressed society.

Lie!!!! A man that will love her,will love her with or without a child.
If any man cannot cope with it let him jejely waka pass.Out of 100 men
atleast 1 will be willing to take her for one reason or anotha

sistawoman:

Should a child really be raising another child? is that really fair for them to suffer for this child

You call that sufferin'?Abortin' the child is enjoyment/gratification  rite?
You see . . . In life there are some mistakes that cannot or seems impossible to correct
and that is why we all need people to guide us through.I'm sure this little gurl didn't inform her mum
she had a boyfriend . . . not bcuzz she doesn't feel like it but bcuzz she knew it was wrong
and her parents mite not approve of it.Rite now,she's in a state of dilema . . . .
while her mates are gettin' worried about food and friends and things that doesn't matta much
she'll be gettin' worried of a prob meant for people twice her age.
I think the only remedy is . . . . give birth to the child,mum helps her take care of him/her and
she goes back to school.The truth is . . . this situation will leave a mark in her life
she can never forget.Abortion is ruled out.Mothas who support abortion . . . . cover your faces in shame.

Missy B:

Who says a 14 year old gurl cannot bear a child?
Who says a 14 year old gurl that tastes sugar can't taste vinegar?Sistawoman . . . you are a motha of 3 and you talk like this?
Seriously I rated you above this stage before now.
Listen . . . . Havin' a child at 14 doesn't stop her from completin' her education.
All she needs is a wonderful and supportive mother.Lie!!!! A man that will love her,will love her with or without a child.
If any man cannot cope with it let him jejely waka pass.Out of 100 men
atleast 1 will be willing to take her for one reason or anotha You call that sufferin'?Abortin' the child is enjoyment/gratification  rite?
You see . . . In life there are some mistakes that cannot or seems impossible to correct
and that is why we all need people to guide us through.I'm sure this little gurl didn't inform her mum
she had a boyfriend . . . not bcuzz she doesn't feel like it but bcuzz she knew it was wrong
and her parents mite not approve of it.Rite now,she's in a state of dilema . . . .
while her mates are gettin' worried about food and friends and things that doesn't matta much
she'll be gettin' worried of a prob meant for people twice her age.
I think the only remedy is . . . . give birth to the child,mum helps her take care of him/her and
she goes back to school.The truth is . . . this situation will leave a mark in her life
she can never forget.Abortion is ruled out.Mothas who support abortion . . . . cover your faces in shame.

We will have to agree to disagree in this situation.  I have my own priviate reasons for why i feel so strongly on this issue.

I have still yet to see one person come here and tell this girl how easy it will be to raise a child at 14 because they did it themselves.