Bootybuttchic: i dont think i can sight any hatred from dat guys write up....hes only saying truth,and we shldnt hide dat fact...moreover talking about fairness amongst woman an children,where in nigeria or what part of the world are women and children not treatrd fairly apart from arabians countries,andsome parts in the north,and mind u those who maltreat women in d north are mostly uneducated and ignorant people who claim to do that on the basis of religion


cos the nigeria i live,women are allowed to vote,when on a queue even guys be like ladies first,a guy will always help a girl in need,hitting a woman is never done,a man will tell his wife to take care of the home and his kids,so dat they will have a good childhood while he wll go runninh and working to provide for the family.....et all

cos like seriously i dont know where u guys get this dumb opinion from,tho am a fan of ngozi but i cant go down d drain with,d funny thing is she isnt even married to a nigerian,...and most of the nigerian feminist claiming shiitt av never left the shores of this country not to talk of marryin a foreigner....they will defo marry a nigerian and i bet you dey wont play the feminist ishh once in their marriage time,hypocrites kip wanting to deceive other nigerian females,.,,smh

Thanks. This comment makes too much sense.
I believe the woman gains more from an environment of universal respect for humanity , be it female or male coupled with a rational concession of certain privileges to women as a result of her biologocal makeup. Feminism, which as the writer pointed out, is ill-understood in all its ramifications by many of its African advocates, is just arrant nonsense in my opinion.

Oduduwaboy:
Thanks. This comment makes too much sense.
I believe the woman gains more from an environment of universal respect for humanity , be it female or male coupled with a rational concession of certain privileges to women as a result of her biologocal makeup. Feminism, which as the writer pointed out, is ill-understood in all its ramifications by many of its African advocates, is just arrant nonsense in my opinion.

u are welkum

1000 likes @ bootybuttchic


Very impressive

kliq: 1000 likes @ bootybuttchic


Very impressive

yeah thanks!

MrAnony1:
For example, in Saudi Arabia women don't have the right to drive cars but men do. Whoever makes or enforces such a law is an oppressor.

Now before we move any further, I must ask: did my answer differentiating between radical and regular feminists satisfy you? If not, what don't you agree with about the difference between regular and radical feminism?

Saudi..hmm

Not it did not as I believe what you term regular are the offshoots of a modern strain of feminism so as to be perceived as accomodating

This thread is not the best place for this

Lets open a new thread or continue here https://www.nairaland.com/1254189/feminism-why-women-general-especially

my best friend's mother-in-law makes $72 /hour on the internet . She has been laid off for six months but last month her payment was $21211 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this web-site... ...... WWW.WORKTIN.COM

The OP nailed it on d head. Nothing more, nothing less.

Amhappy:

As a realist i know people all over the world cannot be treated equally. That can only happen in kingdom of God where everything is perfect.

Actually, the pursuit of equality for all things is unrealistic both in this world and in the world to come. Things that are not the same should not be treated the same. A woman should not be burdened with a man's responsibilities any more than a man should be burdened with a woman's. They are not equal. If there is a thing to pursue it is equity. That is treating everyone and everything with the respect that is due them in the role they play in life.

That means that men should open doors for women, pay bills on dates, take responsibility to provide for them and the kids, be accommodating not irritated and even pamper her when she gets emotional and cries sometimes and when she is in pain as she often is. It means that women should let men lead, protect and provide for them and be the firm hand in raising the kids and take the initiative in economic ventures for the home.

That is equity. Everybody except the envious ones gains here. Equality has everybody losing.

pickabeau1:

Saudi..hmm

Not it did not as I believe what you term regular are the offshoots of a modern strain of feminism so as to be perceived as accomodating

This thread is not the best place for this

Lets open a new thread or continue here https://www.nairaland.com/1254189/feminism-why-women-general-especially

Ok please open a new thread. The other link is already overused in my opinion

cococandy: First the wirter says the problem of female suppression doesn't exist in Nigeria.
That almost renders the whole write up invalid.
I'm sorry it's difficult to take some who says that seriously.

I see your point but likewise I fail to take serious an argument (Ms. Adichie's) that asserts that ‘Nigerians raise girls wrongly and in ways that make them feel guilty for being born girls’.
I look around me and I see women who have not been raised with an iota of such guilt and I know the women around me are not exceptional nor are the only one who are being raised right.
My problem with Ms. Adichie is the hypocritical extreme she has chosen to adopt and secondly the self-assumed impression that she is an oracle on all topics.
In addressing an extreme she has ran to the other extreme and as a critic,nothing could be more hypocritical.
She is a good writer,a very good one at that but that does not give her the sole right and authority to make pronounciation on issues in which are experience is neither unique nor exceptional.

damiso:

I think that Adichie comment was taken out of context a bit . Obviously I find feminists who believe in Chivalry hypocritical but I want to give her the benefit of the doubt that she felt no one (men and women) alike offered to help.

Maybe the writer assumed she felt men would swoon in to help but I think Adichie's point was more about an unfriendly environment.People say London is an unfriendly place too (in a largely equal society as well) but people (men and women) would offer to help you if they see you struggling.


I remember my pram carrying days in stations without step free access in cental London esp (everyone is in a hurry in central London )Someone would ALWAYS volunteer to help as they felt it might be a struggle up a long flight of stairs.This seems more to do with milk of human kindness as oppossed to chivalry.

You have a point here. I very much doubt that women expect another woman to be much help with lifting and carrying though.

chukwuma101: Adichie's brand of feminism is exactly what feminism shouldn't be about. Feminism calls for a level playing ground for both genders and not the unwarranted 'upliftment' of females above the male folk. Females are entitled to everything a man is entitled to in nigeria. The apparent disparity in the distribution of genders socially, politically, academically etc that seems to favour males is a function of the innate complexes of the female gender. A female that intends to succeed must beat down these complexes not the male folk as Adichie supposes. Adichie is very eurocentric, she writes not for Africa, but for Europe. She thinks she is a tour guide laden with the responsibility to explain African "(un)civilisation" to Westerners. She appeals to the West to garner international recognition. She tells them everything is wrong with the way we raise our girls because she knows it will please Western civilisation to hear that. But her views are jaundiced and misleading to those who see Africa through her eyesight. She endorses African women not to take on their husband's surname while in the same breath tells them to eschew artificial hairdo. This highlights her confusion. She is a selective feminist. Adopting the side of the coin that advances her pseudo-intellectual ideology and avoiding the other. But there are always two sides to a coin. She wants to westernise Africans, but she is undecided. She is caught in-between...

Good writing skills!

freshdude2: Lol. I, personally, haven't seen it. But I think that nobody's unsavoury experiences should be swept under the carpet. After all, we claim to be modern, moral men.

what has feminism achieved other than driving a wedge between men & women? adichie just wanted sensationalism to sell her books. she doesn't want girls to close their legs.....she probably want girls to be bare-chested too. what sort of african woman is she?

feminism is all about hypocrisy & lies....
they claim to have been responsible for letting women vote - lies! lies!! lies!!! women voted in sierra leone, our own "sexist" africa before anyone else did.

it goes to show african men had respect & regards to women even before the white folks conceived the idea of gender equality ....so what do african women want that they don't already have?

cococandy: , it'll be very obvious this topic is about chimamanda and nothing else.
And frankly I've a life so colorful I don't sit and discuss celebrities.

I think the author of this post should try get such a life too.

why the attack? the writer attacked issues that happen to have been raised by Ms. Adichie. I wonder what proves the writer does not have a life?
You certainly do not think that anyone who is not a celebrity is living a lesser life?

pickabeau1:

The article is written by a woman

Woman? Are you sure? His name is Oluchukwu Aloysius-Gonzaga. I don't remember his last name well now. It's a Nw-something.

ihedinobi2:
Woman? Are you sure? His name is Oluchukwu Aloysius-Gonzaga. I don't remember his last name well now. It's a Nw-something.

Strange.. the writer felt like a woman to me

No how.. the article is very exhaustive unfortunately a lot of posters are pleading hate to escape reading it

Raised some interesting points

MrAnony1: Ok please open a new thread. The other link is already overused in my opinion

wow.... that thread is a very interesting one tha rehashes a lot of the points...history, cause, angles

Creating a new one may be counterproductive, lets use it

ihedinobi2:
Woman? Are you sure? His name is Oluchukwu Aloysius-Gonzaga. I don't remember his last name well now. It's a Nw-something.

Oluchukwu is often a female name.
The Aloysius-Gonzaga could be a surname.

pickabeau1:

wow.... that thread is a very interesting one tha rehashes a lot of the points...history, cause, angles

Creating a new one may be counterproductive, lets use it

I understand that you like that thread (and you are free to draw quotes from it if you need) but I would rather discuss with you on a fresh thread.

pickabeau1:

Strange.. the writer felt like a woman to me

No how.. the article is very exhaustive unfortunately a lot of posters are pleading hate to escape reading it

Raised some interesting points

the writer couldn't have been a woman. no nigerian woman would go to such an extent to rip down the mask of hypocrisy most nigerian women wear.

besides.....take a look at this excerpt.

The decisive verdict is this: In the international field of courtship, the Black woman is purely not the most attractive option, because Asian women, White women, Arab women, Hispanics, would fare much better. It’s no wonder then that black men—where they are presented with options—may increasingly feel tempted to date outside their communities. These are interesting times. And happy people with class don’t explain their choices to the world.

you still think any nigerian woman would write that about herself?

My bad


No wonder they called him a hater.. cos he critiqued chimanda

coogar:

the writer couldn't have been a woman. no nigerian woman would go to such an extent to rip down the mask of hypocrisy most nigerian women wear.

besides.....take a look at this excerpt.


you still think any nigerian woman would write that about herself?

ihedinobi2:
Personal attacks in argument are poor practice indeed. But not all comments made regarding the person one is opposing are out of place. I think Gonzaga was attempting to profile a typical Nigerian feminist to further his argument about what is wrong with African feminism.

If we got the personal angle out of the way I think that there may be very important lessons to learn from what he said. I also think that it would be easier then to try to refute his argument. But all discussions that appear to touch feminism tend to be emotionally charged so a lot of value is lost in such exchanges, more the pity.

I like Adichie. I like the fact that an African woman is in the spotlights for literature. But I think that her comments require that we examine their source. The extent of a public figure's influence will always require some examination of their person when they start to push at paradigms. It is a common thing. The only difference here is that feminism is a more touchy subject than most.

I like Adichie too.I bought Half Of a Yellow Sun at a such an exorbitant rate at one bookshop in Falomo back then because like you I like to appreciate Africans who are succesful.

As I said the write up had some valid points but the personal attacks and referring to 'class' just kinda spoilt it for me.In otherwords she feels she is 'classless' cos she has opinions that might not necessarily agree with her POV.

That said I just watched the full interview(thank you TV01 for the link) as I always just watched excerpts or heard quotes taken from it.


And so I might have to agree with you that sometimes our experiences shape our perceptions and her experience on not being made class monitor cannot be farther from mine.I think I was class captain (that's what we called it) about 3 times in primary school.I was lead debater in the Literary and Debating society often times was the lead debater (with a boy sometimes supporting) and never once had anyone tell me I could not be because I was a girl.I led tutorial sessions in University with guys joining if they felt it was a course I was stronger in.

That said my experiences should not speak for every Nigerian woman.

The only thing is I fail to see how saying 'I am a feminist' is going to be the key to achieving equality for real.Equality is subjective and like you and someone said I don't think there is any society where EVERYONE is truly equal.I touched on disability earlier if we want to say we want everyone to be equal how come we are not campaigning for the disabled?. Even in the north where we say the girl child is marginalised I think its a poverty issue.Most almajiris are males and this is poverty and lack of education at play.


She touched on too i though i think it starts from the family, my dad would never say"Go and make indomie for your brother" inshort my brother was the specialist indomie maker in our house ( I miss his indomie).Not saying I never cooked for him but that was cos I was cooking for everyone. I switched on the generator, washed my Dads car went to open the shop etc etc.Parents should try their best to raise children (both genders) who are considerate to others, play to their strengths, not generally feel they are better than others due gender, social status etc.I want my son to know how to cook because no skill is waste and as such he can feed himself if push comes to shove.So lets just try to treat others (a core christian principle) how we would want to be treated and the world might be a better place.

An EXCELLENT article. BRAVO!

Yes, apparently she's not Adichie's biggest fan, but the article was in NO WAY hate-filled, contrary to what the self-proclaimed (abi na self acclaimed) feminists think!!
AND the writer is a woman, and is in a fantastic position to write such, given her reality, as she put it.

Sometimes I wish people would read stuff with an open mind.

Adichie should "park well" abeg. She's a talented writer and we are proud of her, but you cannot eat your cake and have it...you want to be a die-hard feminist and u dey whine say dem no help you carry ya bag...are you kidding me.
A femimist expecting/demanding chivalry?
She clearly does not understand the full implications of the ideals and tenets of feminism..which is why this A.Gonzago lady took time out to (hopefully) educate her.

Feminism...taaahh!!

princefunmi: I'm usually at a loss when this feminism talks rears head. A lot of women advocate feminism without actually understanding its full implication - an implication that is a total contradiction of what the woman actually is and what she really wants.
Its one thing to advocate for a stop to the gender segregation many women suffer. Its quite another to advocate for equality. Its against the rules of nature, our very existence itself.

GBAM!! God bless you for this post...absolutely spot on! My sentiments exactly.

joomiegirl:
Adichie should "park well" abeg. She's a talented writer and we are proud of her, but you cannot eat your cake and have it...you want to be a die-hard feminist and u dey whine say dem no help you carry ya bag...are you kidding me.
A femimist expecting/demanding chivalry?

and this is exactly the reason i called her a hypocrite in the first page.

damiso:
You are right.Businesses are set up to make up a profit and even in the west the logistics of catering to parental leave just makes doing business a bit harder esp for small businesses who might not have the resources to cushion the temporary loss of an essential human resource.

My mum has shops in Balgun market and her team leader(that's the name I call her longest serving shop girl ) is such a vital part of how the business runs.This girl held the forte while my mum left the business to come help for 3 months when I had my baby.Very trustworthy and lovely girl and my mum relies on her heavily.She is pregnant and due in a couple of weeks and I had to tell my mum off that 8 weeks mat leave was too small and she should extend to 12 weeks after all this years.She said its easy for me to say as I don dey think like oyinbo but the reality is she has to pay her and also get another shop girl that she would have to second to another shop when she gets back despite that other shop not necessarily needing another staff,that's extra overhead but it will be cruel to let her go after 3 months.I told why not look for a temp who is probably looking for admission and she said haa those ones who are looking for admission are too big for shopgirl o haa shopgirl ke how can shopgirl pay for Brazilian hair she said oti ronu bi britico(I am thinking like a Brit).So yeah as much as I say Nigeria needs some legislation regarding labour laws for parents it boils down to affordability.


I studied a module on Equality and Diversity and really we have a looong way to go.Even Britain that has equality and diversity act still has aloooot to do.

Disabled people nko?Tribalism?social and economic inequalities?How many well off Nigerians actually believe that their drivers and houseboys are the same as them or that their children should have equal or almost same opportunities in life as their own children? This equality issue is a multifaceted one in our society and gender equality is just one layer.

Considering this reality about doing business, do you consider it cruelty and unfairness for businesses to prefer hiring men?

Sorry.. the writer is male.. i was corrected

I believe some of our feminists dont really understand what the issues are and its funny an erudite woman like adichie too is guilty of this

I did not see the hate though i expected a logical critique of his points so as to have an enriching discourse.. sadly or as expected none of the sort has occured aside well thought out posts from damiso who studied feminism and has been making balanced comments

A lot of the online army just got wind of these ideology and are now more indoctrinated than the whites themselves.

Your points on chivalry are very funny

joomiegirl: An EXCELLENT article. BRAVO!

Yes, apparently she's not Adichie's biggest fan, but the article was in NO WAY hate-filled, contrary to what the self-proclaimed (abi na self acclaimed) feminists think!!
AND the writer is a woman, and is in a fantastic position to write such, given her reality, as she put it.

Sometimes I wish people would read stuff with an open mind.

Adichie should "park well" abeg. She's a talented writer and we are proud of her, but you cannot eat your cake and have it...you want to be a die-hard feminist and u dey whine say dem no help you carry ya bag...are you kidding me.
A femimist expecting/demanding chivalry?
She clearly does not understand the full implications of the ideals and tenets of feminism..which is why this A.Gonzago lady took time out to (hopefully) educate her.

Feminism...taaahh!!



GBAM!! God bless you for this post...absolutely spot on! My sentiments exactly.

ihedinobi2:
Considering this reality about doing business, do you consider it cruelty and unfairness for businesses to prefer hiring men?

if the preference to hire men is cruelty then biology/nature is very very cruel.

pickabeau1:
Sorry.. the writer is male.. i was corrected

the writer could well be a woman who is tired of the global hypocrisy known as feminism.

pickabeau1: Beautiful!


I remember a discussion i had long ago with some on this issues
Its an human right and fairness isse and should not be made about a gender

if that lady has good framework and solid support.. she can have good income and take care of her kid.. That benefits the family and the society

A friend in Holland told me about maternal leave

3 months - full pay
next 3 - 90% pay with option of a another six months
Those additional 6 months will be paid at 75% or so

Tell me how many companies here can do that

Also professional firms like Pwc, Accenture are allowing female partners and staff(of some years take furloughs to take care of kids
When they return they will be assimilated at the same position

That means that the sole income in that period will be adequate
How many families here have that privilege

Really big issues

The more interesting question is how many businesses can AFFORD to do that? You pay women to stay away from work and pay another person to do the work they should ordinarily have been doing. If business should produce profits, how do you manage that in difficult terrains like Nigeria and any other place where funds are not readily available for business?

ihedinobi2:
Considering this reality about doing business, do you consider it cruelty and unfairness for businesses to prefer hiring men?

Ihedinobi why only my post naa I no too understand English o

To be honest I actually can get the sentiment of (not sentiment actually logic) preferring to hire men from a business angle BUT from the angle of someone who might be well suited to do a job despite being a woman I think doing that is a sort of punishment for motherhood which unfortunately falls on the woman as men dont give birth.

Yeah its a hassle but in that talent pool (mothers) are some very experienced well qualified people and immediately disqualifying them is a tad bit unfair.I extolled the virtues of my mums shop assistant who is actually very good at her job and if my mum had actually denied her employment in favour of a man based on the fact that 'she might get pregnant' she might have not been able to get such a hard working loyal employee that she has till date.

ihedinobi2:
The more interesting question is how many businesses can AFFORD to do that? You pay women to stay away from work and pay another person to do the work they should ordinarily have been doing. If business should produce profits, how do you manage that in difficult terrains like Nigeria and any other place where funds are not readily available for business?

those climes, the cost is subsidised by the govt

YOur q goes back to the issue:Its not a woman problem but rather a human one

Can a woman who has no source of income aside her hubby afford to leave an abusive marriage or tell him to use contraception to avoid more kids

Can a woman who has no state support (benefits etc) afford to leave her job which pays the bills.. the kids are abandoned to do whatever

MrAnony1:
Yes I can.

Both regular and radical feminism are characterized by a concern for issues that adversely affect women and trying to help them to overcome these issues: this includes aiding women in societies where women are oppressed to break forth from their oppressors and create a more equal playing feild.
Radical feminism such as is FEMEN for instance goes further to demonize men and argue for positions that go beyond equality and unto a society that oppresses men.


In the same way, a regular MRA would be concerned about men's issues and try to combat problems that adversely affect men: Helping men gain a more equal footing with the females in the society. A radical MRA such as a MGTOW or PUA takes more extreme positions that demonize women (not the feminist ideology) and treat them with malice

I see. Then the demarcation between regular feminism and radical feminism is sensible. It's gotten harder to tell with the war of words.

coogar:

what has feminism achieved other than driving a wedge between men & women? adichie just wanted sensationalism to sell her books. she doesn't want girls to close their legs.....she probably want girls to be bare-chested too. what sort of african woman is she?

feminism is all about hypocrisy & lies....
they claim to have been responsible for letting women vote - lies! lies!! lies!!! women voted in sierra leone, our own "sexist" africa before anyone else did.

it goes to show african men had respect & regards to women even before the white folks conceived the idea of gender equality ....so what do african women want that they don't already have?

Coogar, do you remember me saying that feminism in Nigeria is really about female dominance? There is no benefit/privilege I enjoy that a woman is deprived of just because she's female. This whole feminism noise is irritating. They claim they want equal rights but flee with gusto when it's time to take the responsibilities of the crown they so desperately want to wear.